Operation Soulmate (4 page)

      Ben ignored her facetious tone.  “Okay then Gerry,” He continued, warming to the subject and cheering up considerably, confident that a conversation about his train-wreck of a love-life had been completely averted. “Just answer me one simple question, and then I promise to leave you alone.” For a moment or two, she stood facing him, like a tiny hunted animal, a rabbit, caught in the proverbial headlamps of the proverbial on-coming truck. She suddenly felt exhausted and
so
not in the mood for anything
like
this conversation. Still what damage could even
he
do, with one question?

     “One
simple
question?” She said, wondering if there was really any such thing as a simple question, hiding away in Ben's extensive inquisitions lexicon. But when a conversation like this was started on home turf, there were very few escape routes, so she quickly decided that under the circumstances, a single question seemed relatively harmless.

     “Okay, okay,”

     Ben took a deep breath. He was tired of seeing her like this. He was tired of seeing
both
of them like this, but he was sure he could help at least one of them. “If you believed that I could help you, I mean
really
, help you. I mean, if I promised that I could help you to find the perfect guy before you turn thirty, would you be, at least, willing to talk about this?”

     Geraldine stared at the locked, back door for a second or two, then back at Ben. Even if she
could
find the key quickly enough to get away from him, where would she be running to? He’d certainly come after her, and any escape could only be short-lived. Suddenly, escaping through the back-door seemed eerily symbolic of her current approach towards her entire, emotional life, and she knew with all her heart that running away from the country’s top relationship coach was as good as saying, there’s no hope for me, ever! She collapsed back into her chair, grabbing an unopened bottle of wine from the coffee table on her way back. What did it matter anyway? If he
couldn’t
help her it would be just another night, just another chat with Ben, just another one of their fun but fruitless battle-of-the sexes, mutual moaning sessions with nothing lost. But if he
could
help her,
...then her life was about to change, miraculously, and just in time for the dreaded birthday.

     “Okay, then, give it your best shot. Show me what you’ve got.”

     “What, all of it?! Honey, I don’t think you could handle it.”

     “Ugh!! Ben!! Stop messing about...” Geraldine cringed slightly. It was so weird when Ben flirted with her. Funny, but just, plain, weird.

     “Okay, let’s get serious about this,” He said, disappearing into his room for a second, and returning with  a notepad and pen in hand, ready to begin his coaching drill.

     “Oh no,” she said, wincing slightly. She'd forgotten all about his legendary thoroughness.

       “It’s okay, just a few probing questions.” He said, unhelpfully. She glared at him through narrowed eyes. “I’m joking! Look I already know practically everything about you anyway. Those walls are quite thin and your voice carries a lot more than you think it does.”

      “Ugh,” She said, looking away in disgust. Not that anything noteworthy ever happened between those walls.

      “Look, this is just to get to the bottom of what it is you’re looking for why, you haven’t found it yet and how you can change that.” He said, succinctly. It certainly
sounded
harmless enough, and she was beginning to have trouble standing anyway, so she decided to just slump back into her chair and simply
refuse
to respond to anything
too
probing. “Okay, so what are you looking for?” he said, pen poised expectantly over pad.

      “What do you mean? A man, of course...”

     “Yes but what
kind
of man?” Geraldine rolled her eyes. “Look, if you’re not going to do this properly, we’re just wasting our time here, aren’t we? If you want to get a different kind of result to the one you’re currently getting, there’s going to have to be a bit of a change in attitude here.”

     “Okay, okay.” Geraldine was a bit taken aback. She’d never seen Ben like this before, so focussed; it was cute. It certainly made her sit up and take notice. She could see now why he had the no-nonsense reputation he’d earned over the years. “Okay then, but first I have a confession to make...”

Ben sat forward in his chair and leaned in closer. “Good, this sounds like progress already. A confession is always a precursor to some kind of breakthrough...”

     “Promise not to laugh though.” He sighed, and gave her a look that was so full of compassion she knew she could probably tell him anything at that moment, and he would listen with the deepest respect and understanding. She shook her head and sighed. Oh, he was good. No doubt about it. “Okay, I’ve got this...list.” She almost whispered.

     “Great! A list is a
great
idea! See, this is gonna be so easy with you. You’d be surprised how many people don’t even
have
a list. Okay, go get the list” he said, pushing his shirt sleeves up, rubbing his hands together and then running them through his hair in what (for most women) would probably have been a maddeningly attractive gesture.

      “Okay, great." she said, eyeing him warily. "So.. okay, while it's great that you’re okay with the
idea
of a list....and that’s reassuring.... So far so good.. you have to
promise
not to laugh
at
the list itself when I bring it out. Okay?! I mean, this is not your regular, run-of-the-mill list...”

       Ben sighed. “Gerry, do you
know
how many lists I’ve listened to over the years? Believe me, yours will
not
be funny.” Geraldine jumped up and rushed to her room, feeling excited and terrified all at once. She was about to finally get help. But she was also about to open up to Ben, in the process, in a way she'd never dreamed she'd have the courage to. She was about to and share with him a new level of weirdness that went deeper than those even he had witnessed in her so far. It was too late. She was in too deep now, and even the room seemed to be moving around and sort of... spinning in agreement...beckoning her to take action.

    When she returned, Ben was scribbling furiously. “Hey, I haven’t even been in the room. What could you
possibly
be writing!?”

   “Just some background notes, I’ll show you later. Okay, lay the list on me.” He said, as she carefully placed a carved wooden box onto the table. He tried hard not to smirk, when he noticed on closer inspection, that it seemed to be engraved with tiny hearts, stars, angels and fairies.    

      Geraldine watched him closely, daring him to comment, but he said nothing. Choosing instead to simply bite his bottom lip and blink hard. “Oh just stop it 'Mr. Bring it on'; you’re still single.” She said, opening it up slowly, to reveal a purple, satin lining which lovingly held a single sheet of folded, purple notepaper. She gently unfolded it, and handed it to him with reverence. “
You
have to read it, I can’t read it out loud; it feels too weird.” She said, hiding her face in her hands momentarily. Ben scrutinised the sheet of paper for a second, before beginning to read a list, some of which looked to him like gobbledygook written in an impressive gold ink. Nevertheless, he read it out loud, patiently, as Geraldine listened, cringing ever so slightly.

Twin Flame Checklist

• Sense of familiarity, as if you’ve always known each other
  
• Similar tastes in aesthetics, clothes, people and food.
  
• You have similar beliefs and share an interest in similar causes. You are here on the same Divine mission and work for the benefit of humanity in similar or complementary ways. 
  
• Telepathy and deep empathy: feeling as if you each, always know what the other person is thinking and how they’re feeling.
  
• You may have difficulties to overcome, for example, you might be from different backgrounds or belong to difference races and have your love tested through having to prove how willing you are to overcome barriers in order to be together. Or there might be deep, emotional issues to work through from a long karmic history you both share, as a result of several lifetimes together.
  
• You have a natural affinity and might even look alike. Even if you
  are
  from different backgrounds and look very different, there will be a clear similarity in your expressions, smiles, ways of speaking, levels of intelligence and discernment i.e. how you show up in the world, almost as if you’re both from the same, mysterious planet.
  
• You seem to have been brought together by coincidences, hunches or, even, Divine intervention. Your meeting seems fated and inevitable and the universe seems to have endlessly conspired to bring you together.
  
• You may, each, have a feeling that you would do almost anything to see the other person happy, even if it meant losing them to someone else
  
• When you argue, you always know that you have both grown and evolved as a result
  
• You are best friends and the most passionate lovers all rolled into one
  
• You know that you could easily spend the rest of your lives loving each other
  
• Whatever temptations, threats and doubts might come your way, even through disagreements and fall-outs, the strength of your eternal connection lets you both know that, in the end, when all is said and done, there is simply no one else you could possibly belong with.
  
• When you’re with them, it’s like coming home             
  

As Ben progressed through the list, Geraldine began to stare wistfully into the distance, occasionally sighing, sniffing, inhaling deeply, exhaling meaningfully and nodding knowingly. When he finished reading the list, however, Ben was completely baffled.     

    “Okay, I actually think I only understood about three of those points. Can you explain the rest to me please?” Geraldine wondered for a second whether he might be making fun of her, but they were always making fun of each other so there was no point getting all huffy about it now. She’d bravely come this far, and this was not the time to start being coy. “I mean why would you
want
there to be barriers to you being together, exactly?”

     “It’s not that I
want
them, Ben; that’s just how it is with twin flames sometimes...” she said, tailing off slightly, and seriously beginning to regret the whole, humiliating episode.

     Ben prided himself on being patient and respectful in these situations. It was always important to try to honour the client's world-view, however quirky it might seem. And besides, there was still lots there to work with! “Okay” He said slowly. “You’re going to have to explain to me what this twin-flames thing is.”

     Geraldine sighed; this was
not
going to be easy. “Right, okay, well the idea is that, okay, I believe that, okay, well,
some
people might say that.... well okay-I-read-somewhere-that...”

Ben nodded patiently and tried to follow what she was saying. Geraldine took a deep breath and jumped. “Okay... at the very beginning of our coming into being as individual consciousnesses, when we first began our incarnations as separate souls rather than just being a part of this single blob of creative consciousness and possibility - God-Consciousness, if you like." Ben
didn't
like. It was all too intangible and weird. Geraldine continued heroically. "..each one of us was also split, further, into two halves, so that we could grow more, learn more...about love and life and longing and...about ourselves and each other I suppose....or... whatever...ugh.” This was truly tiring.
This
was
definitely
a mistake. Ben was just too much of a pragmatist for all this. How could she possibly expect him to get a handle on something so...nebulous?
What
had she been thinking?!!

      “O...kay,” Ben was absolutely serious as he continued to listen. “That’s a very beautiful story.” Geraldine clenched momentarily, slightly irritated by his interpretation of the entire twin flames paradigm as a ‘story’, but encouraged slightly by the fact that he at least seemed to be almost taking her seriously ... Well, okay, he wasn’t laughing.

       “O......kay...” She continued, carefully. “Well anyway, your twin flame is your other half, your perfect match, your soulmate but, no. It's
bigger
than just a soulmate; they’re really a part of you...you know?”

      “Okay,” said Ben trying to get some kind of grasp of the situation. “So this is what you’ve basically been going on, all these years? This is what you’ve been looking for?” Geraldine could tell he was trying really hard not to sound judgmental but was finding it all very difficult to understand. It was probably the bit about them being ‘a part of you.’ Coaches never liked that kind of talk...too co-dependent. In fact, he was probably thinking, right at that moment, just how cringe-makingly co-dependent it all sounded. Maybe he was even wondering how to break it to her gently that no one else could complete her, or some other such 3d psychobabble nonsense, missing the point completely. Maybe even being slightly scared for her, like she was some kind of needy flake, some misguided, love-sick, co-dependent dumb-ass. Ugh. This was just a bit too
much
exposure now.