Our Heart (31 page)

During the curtain calls, she made certain to keep her eyes averted from mine. I was hot and could barely contain myself. Nick wasn’t afraid to look at me, and I wanted to pound the smirk behind his staged smile. I knew in my heart that I had no reason to doubt Allison or mistrust her. On the other hand, Nick was someone whom I had known my entire life and I believed him capable of deceit. I had no idea what his motives were or how he could think so little of our friendship. Why he was trying to come between Allison and me, I didn’t understand, but I believed it went further than just jealousy. The coach’s smile came back to me, only this time it was on Nick’s face. As I locked eyes with Nick, I could hear his thoughts as plain as day in my head…SURPRISE.

I didn’t go looking for Allison after the show had officially ended. I didn’t have too. She came down off the stage and headed straight towards us. I still had my eyes on Nick and watched as he retreated backstage. Allison was flustered, and I could see the concern in her eyes. She knew that I knew, simple as that. Until the moment she stood in front of me, I had no idea what my reaction would be. I surprised myself by stepping towards her with open arms. I wanted to feel the comfort of her as much as she needed it from me. There was anger inside of me, but it was directed at Nick, not her. She was uncertain at first and then encircled my waist with her arms and hugged me as tightly as she could. In a few moments, I enjoyed the hug, letting the anger ebb away as I held on tight, but it was short-lived. Our embrace was broken up and Allison was dragged away from me by all of her friends, waiting to congratulate her on her stellar performance. I let her have her moment in the sun, as I silently melted into the background.

I made my way out of the auditorium. I had business to attend to. Heading down the hallway, to the area backstage and out the exit to the parking lot beyond, I wasn’t thinking, just moving. Nick wasn’t anywhere along the hall or in the guy’s dressing room, which by day was the band room. I could feel the blood really starting to boil and pushed my way through the exit door with more than a little force. Nick hadn’t bothered to change and was standing over the open trunk of his car. There were other people in the parking lot, and he didn’t notice me until I had stopped right behind him. He turned to face me, and I watched as he realized I wasn’t there to congratulate him. First, the patronizing grin slid away, and then I could sense his nervousness. He was no longer able to keep his eyes in line with mine; they darted here and there. I still hadn’t said a word and I know it made him even more apprehensive.

I let my hands ball up into fists. I wanted to hit him with everything I had kept bottled up inside of me for way too long. I’m sure Nick sensed he was on thin ice, and he made a move to back away from me. I countered, staying close to him. We stood facing each other at the back of his car. Even though I wanted to beat him silly, he was still the friend who I’d spent countless hours laughing with. I needed to have it out with him, but I would use words, not fists. I reached out with my right hand and gripped the lip of his trunk, just as he extended his arm and shut the trunk lid. My anger instantly turned to white hot pain. I lost my breath and Nick stood locked in place, not understanding my instant change. I was afraid to move and I was only barely able to croak out, “Hand! Nick, my hand…trunk…open…NOW!”

His keys were still in the trunk lock. Nick sprang to action and twisted the key, releasing the lid. It popped open and Nick raised it away from my hand. I lost all of my strength as white shimmering lights danced around my eyes. My knees gave out, and I sank to the gravel of the parking lot. I leaned back against the rear bumper and gingerly tucked my injured right hand between my left side and left arm. The blood began racing back into my fingers and they throbbed without mercy. I felt every heartbeat in both my hand and head, and it made it difficult to understand what Nick was trying to say.

My head was starting to hurt almost as bad as my hand, and I fought for stability. I felt seasick with the pain, and it was all I could do not to throw up. Nick had gotten down on one knee and was looking at me. I couldn’t be certain of anything, but I thought I saw concern on his face. A tear had worked its way down the side of his nose, hanging there…then fell.

He looked at me and said with all sincerity, “I’m really sorry.” I think he was apologizing for more than just shutting my hand in the car’s trunk.

My anger was gone, replaced by a general numbness in my mind. I nodded, looked in his eyes and quietly whispered, “Leave her alone. I love her!” He never broke eye contact with me and, through my hazy vision, I was fairly certain I saw an affirmation. His mouth was moving but the pounding in my head curtailed my ability to hear what he had to say. He managed to make it clear to me that he was going to take me to the hospital. It took all the effort I had and his help to ease myself into the passenger seat of his car.

There was a small hospital just on the outskirts of Cedar Junction, more like a large clinic really. They had twenty-four-hour emergency service, and Nick raced me there without jostling me around. The pain was subsiding and, thankfully, I could move all of my fingers. Dr. Doringhaus was on call and immediately sent me down to x-ray. He was fairly confident that my fingers were not broken and had not suffered ligament damage. He assured me that, more than likely, they had just been severely pinched and bruised. With a little rest and time, they would bounce back to normal use. Dr. Doringhaus said he’d see me after the x-rays came back and, heading off down the hall, he left me with the nurse in charge. My fingers were stiff and starting to swell noticeably where the trunk lid had crunched them in between the first and middle knuckles. The nurse had me spread my fingers apart and push them flat to take the x-ray picture. I mumbled a few niceties under my breath, as she exerted pressure on my hand.

After the x-rays were taken, the nurse walked me back to the waiting area to wait for Dr. Doringhaus. Nick was sitting there looking like he was the one waiting for the doctor. His face was white and his leg nervously bounced up and down. We sat next to each other
and, for
a few minutes, neither of us spoke.

He finally looked over at me and said, “Man…I hope you are going to be okay and can still play in the game tomorrow.”

For the first time, the magnitude of what happened to my hand reached the command center of my brain. “Ohh…Crap! The coach is going to kill me,” I cried out. I tried flexing my very swollen fingers and winced with the pain. I only had one thought: how was I going to hold on to the football, let alone throw it? My thoughts were interrupted by the nurse coming to get me to usher me back to meet with the doctor.

I tried my best to listen to him, but all I focused on was my fear of not being able to play in the game tomorrow. As he talked, the nurse wrapped an ice bag around my hand, securing it in place with a stretch bandage. The coldness felt great, and I had a minor glimmer of hope.

Dr. Doringhaus could tell I wasn’t paying much attention to him and cut to the chase. “Jason, no way you can play tomorrow; you’ll be lucky if you can play in next week’s game too.” His words stung hard and my shoulders slumped. He tried making me feel better by patting me on the back and telling me , “The good news, it’s not broken and you should be ready to go for the playoffs.” It didn’t make me feel any better, and I was mad at myself, mad at Nick, mad at the whole town for putting unsaid pressure on me to help the team win.

If I wasn’t already feeling distraught about the situation it went from bad to worse as the nurse steered me out and into the waiting room. What had once been a fairly empty place was now full of people. The first one to catch my eye was Coach Harmon. He instantly noticed the bandage wrapped around my hand and raised his eyebrows in a suggestive question, “So, can you play?” Everybody fired questions at me from all around. I couldn’t filter them apart and ended up not understanding any of them. Finally, they all became quiet as the coach’s voice boomed over the rest of the group as he asked, “How bad?”

I took a deep breath and let everyone know that it was only bruised, not broken, and it was one of those freak accidents that wasn’t anyone’s fault. As I said this, I saw Nick slinking away from the crowd, a truly remorseful look on his face. For an instant, I felt sorrier for him than I did for myself. The coach actually seemed relieved that I would only miss the game tomorrow and was happy I might have a chance to play the following week. I wasn’t happy at all. I’d been putting up some pretty big passing numbers, and I was looking to rack up some major yardage against the lowly Wildcats. In doing so, I would cement my chances at making my way on to the All-State team. Everyone kept saying how glad they were that it wasn’t broken and telling me I’d be back playing in no time. I took it all with gracious smiles and nodded in agreement, but inside I was still trying to come up with a plan that would let me play. I didn’t want to sit out and wondered if I could throw left-handed. I knew it was hopeless, and getting back on the field wouldn’t come fast enough for me.

Allison stood behind her parents and tried to catch my eyes a few times. I could see she had a few questions of her own, and I could also tell she was puzzled, no doubt wondering how I managed to end up in the hospital, for one, and with Nick for two. Nick never tried to come forward or approach Allison while we were all milling around in the waiting room. Grandpa joined us after getting all of the paperwork signed and the crowd began to disperse.

Allison found a small avenue and made her way to my side. She stood on her toes and whispered in my ear, “I’m sorry…really sorry,”

“Don’t be,” I replied, “you aren’t responsible. It really was dumb on my part and a pure accident. It’s over and things will work out.” She understood my underlying meaning and tenderly kissed my cheek. Holding on to my good hand we made our way down the hallway and out into the cool air of the fall night. Everyone took their cue from us and fell in behind. Nick headed to his car and, before he got in, I shouted over to him, “Thanks for getting me here in one piece!”

He turned around and I glimpsed a small measure of relief on his face. He said, “Anything for a buddy,” and then added, “maybe we can hang out sometime soon?”

I think I was beginning to understand Nick and where he was coming from. Like a dog that hadn’t been getting any attention from its owner, it turns to bad behavior as a way to get it back. Both Matt and I had set Nick aside, as we built new relationships with Allison and Dani. I knew he was jealous of Allison and me, but I never took the time to evaluate how he might be feeling. It might have had more to do with him missing the three amigos than it had to do with me liking Allison.

I suddenly felt bad for him, and I and I answered back, “Real soon.”

Allison squeezed my hand, and I glanced down into eyes that were soft and full of understanding. I smiled and so did she. She gave me one last hug and a sisterly kiss on the cheek, in front of her parents and my grandparents. I laughed and so did her dad. We separated and walked to our respective vehicles.

We all said our “goodnights,” then climbed in our cars and headed home, Allison’s parents following Grandpa Jake down the street. Neither of my grandparents had much to say on the way home and, thankfully, it didn’t take long to get there. Grandma only wanted to know if the pain had started to subside. I told her it was feeling better, and I’d bet I could even play tomorrow. She didn’t respond, not even a laugh, so I let it drop, and we talked about the musical instead, making sure to leave out the part about the last kiss. Both cars pulled into their driveways simultaneously. I was tired and headed up the porch steps, sandwiched in between Grandma in front of me and Grandpa at my rear. Straight up the stairs and into my room I lumbered. They had given me some painkillers at the hospital, and I think they were beginning to make me drowsy. Grandma waited until I had had plenty of time to change into my sleep pants before knocking on my door.

Through my yawn, I called for her to come in. It only took one look for her to notice it wouldn’t be long before I’d be asleep. After making sure my hand was resting on a pillow, she leaned over and kissed the top of my head. I think I was out before she turned the lights off and closed the door. Even though I slept straight through, I had nightmares all night long. In one, I woke up to find my hand missing. In another, Nick and Allison were kissing, and they both looked at me and said, “Surprise.”

I crawled out, no, more like fell out of bed early Friday morning. The doctor had said to stay home, but I wanted to be at school. My hand would begin throbbing whenever I let my arm hang down, so I kept it tucked to my heart in a perpetual “Pledge of Allegiance” position. Grimacing, I made my way into my bathroom. I brushed my teeth with my left hand and tried my best to shave without slitting a major artery. The shower felt great, and I was beginning to think that I could tolerate the pain in my right hand. The swelling hadn’t gone down much, and it hurt to even try and move my fingers. I still didn’t like it, but I could see the wisdom behind Dr. Doringhaus’ comment about even being able to play next week.

Allison was waiting for me downstairs, sitting at the kitchen table with Grandma Sarah. She looked amazing and it was all I could do not to let my heart get the best of me. She had on a very pretty dress and her hair had lots of curl in it. I couldn’t stop the roguish grin from spreading across my face. When she read the look in my eyes, she blushed. Grandma interrupted the moment by asking if I needed help with my tie. I said, “Yes.”

Allison had borrowed her dad’s pickup so she could chauffeur me to school. I asked her why she was so dressed up, making sure to let her know how great she looked at least twenty times before we’d even gotten in the truck. Her face had to be on fire as red as it was, but I could tell she appreciated my comments. Allison said she was dressed up because the members of the musical were traveling to Orchid Hill retirement community later today. They would be doing some of the songs from the show and they were required to dress nicely for it. We never brought up the subject of my hand or Nick on the way to school. I think we both felt it was better to let it lie unopened and save it for discussion at a later date.