Outing of the Heart (102 page)
Read Outing of the Heart Online
Authors: Lisa Ann Harper
âHello my love.' She put her arms around Ten and gave her a warm, sleepy hug. Ten kissed her quickly saying: âI've brought you a drink.' She sat up and accepted the mug, crossing her legs under her and motioning Ten to sit close.
âYou've got me curious,' Ten admitted: âThere's no problem is there?'
âNo Babe. Nothing like that. I just got this idea and was too excited to wait, to pass it by you.' She had all Ten's attention and plunged on. âYou remember we thought to do something special, Sunday?'
She nodded.
âHow would you like a trip to Niagara Falls; lunch at Niagara-on-the Lake?' She delivered herself of this suggestion with an excited gleam in her sparkling eyes.
âOh darling, I'd love it. Just you and me away for the whole day.' She put down her mug to give Sid a big, happy kiss on the mouth.
While she got herself ready for bed, they worked out the details. Sid watched Ten's every coming and going, the love light shining luminous in her eyes. She didn't believe she had ever been happier.
âAre you sure you wouldn't like me to make us a picnic lunch, Sid? Lunch out could be a bit expensive.' Ten slipped into a short sleeved nightshirt, three-quarter length, which she liked to wear now the nights were drawing in. It featured two cuddly teddies on the front wearing their nightshirt with two teddies on it. She had untied her hair and was going through the last brushes of the day. Sid loved to watch the fluid motion of her arm as she drew the brush through the myriad strands; to see the dark tresses shimmer and flow in wave after wave of glossy motion. There was a time when she had had to imagine things like this. Now she could be a voyeur and indulge her eyes to her heart's content. The thought caught her up abruptly â not after Sunday she couldn't. It would be back to imagining again.
âCan I do that for you?' the words out before the idea had even registered.
Ten, seated on the little stool in front of the dressing table, swivelled around, a look of surprise on her face. âSid, it's late. You must get your sleep.' What had gotten into her? But she experienced a shiver of pleasure anyway.
âI've slept already. I'm not tired. Please?'
How could she hold out against those imploring, aquamarine eyes? âOf course, I'd be happy to have you do my hair. I was only concerned for you.' Holding out the brush, she smiled, then turned back to face the looking glass, as Sid slid out of bed and came to stand behind her. With the brush in her right hand, she picked up Ten's hair in her left. It was long now, having grown considerably since their first meeting. It felt heavy and fluid, slithering through her grasp until she learned the nature of it.
Beginning the rhythmical strokes, she watched Ten in the mirror, who looked back at her, watching. Eventually, overcome by the grooming, Ten's eyelids began to droop and Sid felt her weight heavy against her thighs. How she loved this; would remember it for the rest of her life. One of those infinitely beautiful encounters; Ten, so totally relaxed, totally trusting, her mind and body given over completely to her ministrations, all control relinquished to her hands. Savoring this hallowed moment, she continued to lift, stroke and let fall, this torrent of waves. At last, putting down the brush, she swept her arms around the relaxed body.
âCome to bed, Love. Come and sleep in my arms. Rest your head on my shoulder.'
With great care she lifted Ten to her feet then carried her to the bed, so close to sleep already. She laid her down under the covers, then slipped in from the other side, turning off the bedside lamp. She took her in her arms and at the touch of their bodies, Ten snuggled in closer and murmured dreamily: âI love you.'
Sid did not drop off, but stayed awake, listening to Ten's slow breathing, feeling the flutter across her cheek of each breath. Yes, she would take all these memories away with her and when she was once again alone in her bed, would relive this tender, precious interlude. Eventually her body too, had to give itself up to sleep. She'd wanted for this time never to end; to preserve indelibly, every precious second in her brain, but she couldn't hold on. Suddenly, her heart, swelling with so much love was gripped in agony. Her mind had become swamped with the pain of the loss to come. But it was her destiny to work with animals; her life-long ambition; this could not be denied. The thought came swiftly; she would live for the weekends, when they would be together.
Another fear intruded into her consciousness bringing a momentary spasm, making her tense. Did Tenille have the endurance, the patience to wait? Could she understand how much all this meant to her? Better stop this before she spun crazily out of control, then Ten would be right and she wouldn't have enough sleep for tomorrow. She looked at the illuminated dial. No today. This was her last thought, her arms still wrapped around Ten, their legs entwined.
âYou've got me curious,' Ten admitted: âThere's no problem is there?'
âNo Babe. Nothing like that. I just got this idea and was too excited to wait, to pass it by you.' She had all Ten's attention and plunged on. âYou remember we thought to do something special, Sunday?'
She nodded.
âHow would you like a trip to Niagara Falls; lunch at Niagara-on-the Lake?' She delivered herself of this suggestion with an excited gleam in her sparkling eyes.
âOh darling, I'd love it. Just you and me away for the whole day.' She put down her mug to give Sid a big, happy kiss on the mouth.
While she got herself ready for bed, they worked out the details. Sid watched Ten's every coming and going, the love light shining luminous in her eyes. She didn't believe she had ever been happier.
âAre you sure you wouldn't like me to make us a picnic lunch, Sid? Lunch out could be a bit expensive.' Ten slipped into a short sleeved nightshirt, three-quarter length, which she liked to wear now the nights were drawing in. It featured two cuddly teddies on the front wearing their nightshirt with two teddies on it. She had untied her hair and was going through the last brushes of the day. Sid loved to watch the fluid motion of her arm as she drew the brush through the myriad strands; to see the dark tresses shimmer and flow in wave after wave of glossy motion. There was a time when she had had to imagine things like this. Now she could be a voyeur and indulge her eyes to her heart's content. The thought caught her up abruptly â not after Sunday she couldn't. It would be back to imagining again.
âCan I do that for you?' the words out before the idea had even registered.
Ten, seated on the little stool in front of the dressing table, swivelled around, a look of surprise on her face. âSid, it's late. You must get your sleep.' What had gotten into her? But she experienced a shiver of pleasure anyway.
âI've slept already. I'm not tired. Please?'
How could she hold out against those imploring, aquamarine eyes? âOf course, I'd be happy to have you do my hair. I was only concerned for you.' Holding out the brush, she smiled, then turned back to face the looking glass, as Sid slid out of bed and came to stand behind her. With the brush in her right hand, she picked up Ten's hair in her left. It was long now, having grown considerably since their first meeting. It felt heavy and fluid, slithering through her grasp until she learned the nature of it.
Beginning the rhythmical strokes, she watched Ten in the mirror, who looked back at her, watching. Eventually, overcome by the grooming, Ten's eyelids began to droop and Sid felt her weight heavy against her thighs. How she loved this; would remember it for the rest of her life. One of those infinitely beautiful encounters; Ten, so totally relaxed, totally trusting, her mind and body given over completely to her ministrations, all control relinquished to her hands. Savoring this hallowed moment, she continued to lift, stroke and let fall, this torrent of waves. At last, putting down the brush, she swept her arms around the relaxed body.
âCome to bed, Love. Come and sleep in my arms. Rest your head on my shoulder.'
With great care she lifted Ten to her feet then carried her to the bed, so close to sleep already. She laid her down under the covers, then slipped in from the other side, turning off the bedside lamp. She took her in her arms and at the touch of their bodies, Ten snuggled in closer and murmured dreamily: âI love you.'
Sid did not drop off, but stayed awake, listening to Ten's slow breathing, feeling the flutter across her cheek of each breath. Yes, she would take all these memories away with her and when she was once again alone in her bed, would relive this tender, precious interlude. Eventually her body too, had to give itself up to sleep. She'd wanted for this time never to end; to preserve indelibly, every precious second in her brain, but she couldn't hold on. Suddenly, her heart, swelling with so much love was gripped in agony. Her mind had become swamped with the pain of the loss to come. But it was her destiny to work with animals; her life-long ambition; this could not be denied. The thought came swiftly; she would live for the weekends, when they would be together.
Another fear intruded into her consciousness bringing a momentary spasm, making her tense. Did Tenille have the endurance, the patience to wait? Could she understand how much all this meant to her? Better stop this before she spun crazily out of control, then Ten would be right and she wouldn't have enough sleep for tomorrow. She looked at the illuminated dial. No today. This was her last thought, her arms still wrapped around Ten, their legs entwined.
CHAPTER 16
Sid pulled up in front of her mother's house, located on the northern outskirts of Mississauga. When she'd lived here it had seemed big, now it always struck her as compact. Ma kept a neat front yard, but nothing much ever grew. She had two scrubby cedar bushes either side of the front steps, otherwise it was grass and a Maple which caused a lot of work in the fall and not much shade in the summer. Still, it was a tree.
Inside too, felt cramped, but part of the problem was the kids still wouldn't put their things away. Billy was the worst. It seemed he needed to stamp his claim to every corner of every room and on every surface. Mavis didn't come down on him hard though. She knew what teenage boys are like and it just wasn't in her nature to go on and on. Sid noticed the leaves had all been raked up and the borders neatened. Perhaps this was Billy's doing, now he was working for the Parks Department?
Chelsey came running out to greet her sister as soon as she saw the blue car, happy and excited. Oh, it did her heart good to be back home again and sweeping Chelsey into her arms, gave her a big hug. None of the Henderson family were tall so with Chelsey's extra weight she looked for all the world like a jolly bouncing ball and had the disposition to go with it. She noticed Chelsey had gained even more since last time. Ma fought an uphill battle. Their arms about their waists, they jigged round the side of the house to the back door. Everyone always used the back. The laughing voices brought Mavis to the door and now it was Sid's turn to receive a warm embrace. Unlike Chelsey, she felt her mother was thinner. She stood back and eyed her up and down.
âYou OK Mam? You haven't been overdoing things lately, have you?' Her face creased as she stroked her chin.
âSidonie. Not through the door five minutes and already you've started to fuss.' Mavis gave her cheek a little pinch. âYou don't change.' In fact she thought her daughter had never looked better, radiating an aura of supreme wellbeing. Her heart swelled with pride in this precious offspring. She may not have turned out exactly as she would have wished, but at least she'd never had to worry about unwanted pregnancies; or even worse a daughter who wanted to keep her baby. She had her hands full with Chelsey and Billy, and the house wasn't big enough for the three of them, let alone Sid with a baby. The thought didn't bear thinking. Fortunately, Chelsey so far, hadn't shown any interest in boys. This was lucky since she could have turned out to be one of the precocious ones.
They all naturally gravitated to the kitchen. Mavis had made a start on dinner and Sid observed a recipe book open on the table. Normally her Ma never used one. She grabbed Seven-Ups for herself and Chelsey from the fridge, (her mother shook her head), and began idly turning pages as she popped the tops.
âListen girl, don't you lose my place,' Mavis scolded.
âYou giving vegetarian food a go, Mam?' She continued to leaf through, knowing her mother's bark.
âI borrowed it from Fiona at work. She recommended this one. I thought it wouldn't hurt to try something different. The kids are pretty good if it's not too strange.' She was industriously cutting up onions. There would have to be mountains of veggies to satisfy Billy. Sid returned the book to its original position and saw it was a vegetable frittata her mother was attempting. Apart from eggs it basically consisted of onion and green peppers. “
That shouldn't upset them too much,”
she thought.'
âThe regular veggies will be peas and carrots and that's easy enough. I've got a big bag in the freezer,' Mavis explained.
âThis is going to be perfect, Mam. Chelsey.' Sid took her hand in hers. âSee what a nice supper Mam is making us.' She showed her the glossy picture. It did look appetizing. Chelsey dragged on the hand.
âCome and see the pictures in my room, Siddie.'
Sid had spent an hour with her sister before Billy came home, just before six. Chelsey's collection consisted of an assortment of large posters of hockey players from all over. There was no team allegiance, just the picture of the hockey player was enough. She had Mark Osborne and Tom Fergus of the Maple Leafs: Sergei Makarov of the Calgary Flames: Donald Dufresne from the Montreal Canadians and Grant Fuhr of the Edmonton Oilers. Then they looked at Chelsey's collection of little glass animals. Sid had seen them many times, but Chelsey always loved to show them off.
Billy greeted his sister with a degree of lordly indifference, but Sid could see he was happy to tell her about the courses and his new friends. He too, had the stocky build of the family, but unlike his sisters was a carrot top. With the physique of a boxer, he'd been in many a fight, but had never thought to pursue the sport, disliking any physical pain. He admired his sister for her weightlifting and gym training, though would never tell her so. The idea had attracted him too, but he wouldn't play second fiddle to anyone. âNot on your sweet bippy.' He wasn't going to be looked upon as some kind of dingbat, following in his big sister's footsteps.
After supper, which Sid enjoyed very much, she insisted Mavis sit and relax, while she and Chelsey washed up. CBC was featuring a re-run of âLes Plouffs'. This successful sit-com was one of Mavis' favorites.
Billy had been disappointed there was no meat, but he still had eaten the equivalent of two platefuls. Chelsey ate hers because she knew it was the only way to get her âtin roof'; a favorite dessert which only came an special occasions. She could live on ice cream alone.
She washed while Sid dried and put away. This was the better way around because although Chelsey had the best intentions in the world to be
very
,
very
careful, somehow glasses and mugs just slipped through her fingers. It was good for Sid to have this time with her though. They both got on so well. Chelsey did miss her sister. Billy was all right, but they really had nothing to say to each other. He would defend her to his last breath, but they didn't talk. Siddie was much more fun.
Eventually Chelsey was put to bed and Billy went out. Mavis could spend some time with her daughter, just the two of them. She was glad of this because she had something serious to discuss.
âYes Mam, what is it?'
They were sitting across from each other, in front of the TV, but there was no sound. Sid found the flickering picture distracting, but she didn't want to jump up yet again.
âIt's like this, Sid. I've met someone I really like â¦' her voice trailed away.
âMam that's great.' She beamed at her.
âWait, child. Let me finish.' Mavis was finding this hard enough.
âSorry, Mam, go on.'
âPercy is a real nice guy. I've known him about ten months now â¦'
âBut he's married,' she interjected, pulling a face.
âDaughter, button your lip.'
Sid brought her hand to her mouth in one of those gestures, reminding Mavis of when she was a little girl and had done something wrong. âSorry again, Mam.'
âAs I was saying ⦠I've known him for a while now and no, he's not married. He's divorced and has one son living with him. The other is with his mother.' This time Sid stayed silent. She really wanted to turn the TV off, but she'd definitely left it too late. Another interruption and her mother would brain her.
âThis is the problem, Siddie. We want to be together. He's got his own house and it's a good size. Mind you, I think Billy might be moving out in the near future so it would only be me and Chelse going over.'
âI don't see a problem, Mam,' she exclaimed impetuously.
âThe problem is Chelsey.'
âAh ⦠now I get your drift.' She was quiet, thinking through the various difficulties which could be encountered in light of this new aspect. Her mother went on, glad at last to be able to talk it through with someone sympathetic and understanding.
âIt will be very disruptive to her life. She's settled into a nice routine. This house she's happy in. It holds good memories for her. She's enjoying the sheltered workshop and the people there. Now she had to make big changes and adjustments from Runnymede and you know how uncontrollable she can be when she feels the least bit insecure. Can I ask her to go through all that again, risking her tantrums and violence? Especially in front of Percy and Shane, just as we're all trying to get to know each other and get along?' She stopped. She'd had these worries bottled up inside her for weeks, ever since Percy had put the proposition to her. She badly wanted to say, âyes', but she held her guardianship very seriously.
âWhat has Percy had to say regarding this dilemma, Mam?' Sid couldn't see a solution herself.
âOh, I've not shared this with him. He's just waiting on my answer.'
âI see.' She pondered for a while. âDo they get along? Him and Chelse I mean.'
âSo so. They've met, but haven't spent much time together. I had been thinking it might be possible for her to go to you â¦?' she looked at Sid to see how this suggestion was being greeted. She saw a look of surprise cross her daughter's face. âOf course, I realize this is out of the question with you taking up your studies an' all,' she added hastily. Also, to be honest, Chelsey was not Sid's responsibility
. “Let's face facts,”
she thought dejectedly, “
no passing of the buck.”
âWell, it's not only that Mam. It could be equally disruptive for Chelsey to come to me as for her to go with you over there. By the way, where does he live?'
âHe's out Burlington way.'
âOh dear, I see. Is that where he works?'
âNo he works here. That's how I met him. He runs a delivery service and the factory is one of his clients.'
âWell, if he's serious about you and I don't doubt his sincerity,' Sid added, âthen I think you'll have to share these concerns with him. He's no teenager. He'll know everything isn't always straightforward and compromises have to be made. My advice ⦠talk to him.' Sid hoped he was as nice as her Ma thought.
âSuppose it puts him off to learn that Chelsey isn't always the sunny girl he's seen so far?' Mavis couldn't face the thought of losing this man.
Poor Ma, Sid pondered. No wonder she's looking careworn. Trying to weigh up the pros. and cons. all on her own.
âMam, I'm not meaning to be harsh when I say this but ⦠if he can't come to terms with this ⦠is he the man for you?' She looked deeply into her mother's lined face, trying to gauge the depth of feeling she had for this new love. It must be strong. She had never known her express interest in anyone else before. But of course, she wouldn't always have been privy to the personal side of her life.
Mavis was quiet for a long time after this question. It went to the heart of the matter. Sidonie was right. She had to face her fear, bring it to the harsh light of honest scrutiny. Both she and Percy had to deal with this together or else they had no foundation. She took a big breath and rose to her feet.
âThank you for this talk Siddie. It's helped me no end.' Mavis made her way to the kitchen and Sid followed.
âI haven't been very inspired Mam, but I really don't know what else to suggest,' she admitted. Mavis plugged in the kettle. She liked a cup of tea before bed. Sid would get a Milo.
âIt's been a great help to me dear,' she reiterated. âTalking like this has allowed me to clarify some of the thoughts that have been absorbing me lately.' Sitting at the kitchen table again, they enjoyed their nightcap; Sid would leave when the cups were empty. She was glad her mother had been able to unburden herself tonight. She did love her so.
âYour last day at the track coming up. Will you miss it?' Mavis asked.
âI think I would, were it not for the fact that I'm going to something so much more significant.' She looked introspective. âI've enjoyed working with the horses, but life on the backstretch doesn't really appeal to me. The people are pretty rough and not always kind to the animals. Don't get me wrong â¦' she amended hastily, â â¦some of them are the salt of the earth and have the best interest of the horses at heart. But you know how it is when there's money to be made â¦'
It was time for her to head back to the city. It had been a good visit. âSo Mam, will you still be here at Thanksgiving? You remember I asked about bringing Tenille over?' She had picked up her keys and Mavis was walking with her to the car.
âOh yes. Nothing's going to happen that fast. And who knows, nothing may happen at all,' she ended on a wistful note.
âCome on Mam. Give Percy a chance. You haven't even spoken to him yet,' Sid admonished. They embraced.
âTake care of yourself, Siddie. I worry about you and all this driving. You know there are maniacs out there on the road.'
âThey're not out to get me, Mam, they're after the other guy,' she joked, to raise her spirits.
âI see through you, Sidonie H. And you don't bear a charmed life. You are flesh and blood, mortal ⦠just like the rest of us.'
âMam, I'll be careful,' she assured her. âI always am. I'll see you at Thanksgiving. And you take care of yourself too. When I have a number for the residence I'll call you and you can let me know how things are going.'
There was a definite chill in the air; the stars sparkled crisply in the cloudless sky. âDon't get cold, I'll talk to you soon.' She gave her a quick peck on the cheek then settled into the driver's seat.
Steering for home, she let her thoughts review the visit, wondering about Shane. Her mother hadn't said much about him. He could make waves for Chelsey. There would be trouble if he were either too nice, or too nasty. Of course, a lot would depend upon his age. Billy should be with them if they did decide to live together. He would be protection for Chelsey. Never an easy matter when two families attempted to blend. Ma would definitely need Percy's total support. If he was a man who could pull this off then she had found a gem. She wondered if they would get to meet at Thanksgiving. Goodness, where would the house put them all? She slowed down to take a corner and ran up the ass of a booze bus. No problem. She'd not even had one beer. She wound down the window.
Sid pulled up in front of her mother's house, located on the northern outskirts of Mississauga. When she'd lived here it had seemed big, now it always struck her as compact. Ma kept a neat front yard, but nothing much ever grew. She had two scrubby cedar bushes either side of the front steps, otherwise it was grass and a Maple which caused a lot of work in the fall and not much shade in the summer. Still, it was a tree.
Inside too, felt cramped, but part of the problem was the kids still wouldn't put their things away. Billy was the worst. It seemed he needed to stamp his claim to every corner of every room and on every surface. Mavis didn't come down on him hard though. She knew what teenage boys are like and it just wasn't in her nature to go on and on. Sid noticed the leaves had all been raked up and the borders neatened. Perhaps this was Billy's doing, now he was working for the Parks Department?
Chelsey came running out to greet her sister as soon as she saw the blue car, happy and excited. Oh, it did her heart good to be back home again and sweeping Chelsey into her arms, gave her a big hug. None of the Henderson family were tall so with Chelsey's extra weight she looked for all the world like a jolly bouncing ball and had the disposition to go with it. She noticed Chelsey had gained even more since last time. Ma fought an uphill battle. Their arms about their waists, they jigged round the side of the house to the back door. Everyone always used the back. The laughing voices brought Mavis to the door and now it was Sid's turn to receive a warm embrace. Unlike Chelsey, she felt her mother was thinner. She stood back and eyed her up and down.
âYou OK Mam? You haven't been overdoing things lately, have you?' Her face creased as she stroked her chin.
âSidonie. Not through the door five minutes and already you've started to fuss.' Mavis gave her cheek a little pinch. âYou don't change.' In fact she thought her daughter had never looked better, radiating an aura of supreme wellbeing. Her heart swelled with pride in this precious offspring. She may not have turned out exactly as she would have wished, but at least she'd never had to worry about unwanted pregnancies; or even worse a daughter who wanted to keep her baby. She had her hands full with Chelsey and Billy, and the house wasn't big enough for the three of them, let alone Sid with a baby. The thought didn't bear thinking. Fortunately, Chelsey so far, hadn't shown any interest in boys. This was lucky since she could have turned out to be one of the precocious ones.
They all naturally gravitated to the kitchen. Mavis had made a start on dinner and Sid observed a recipe book open on the table. Normally her Ma never used one. She grabbed Seven-Ups for herself and Chelsey from the fridge, (her mother shook her head), and began idly turning pages as she popped the tops.
âListen girl, don't you lose my place,' Mavis scolded.
âYou giving vegetarian food a go, Mam?' She continued to leaf through, knowing her mother's bark.
âI borrowed it from Fiona at work. She recommended this one. I thought it wouldn't hurt to try something different. The kids are pretty good if it's not too strange.' She was industriously cutting up onions. There would have to be mountains of veggies to satisfy Billy. Sid returned the book to its original position and saw it was a vegetable frittata her mother was attempting. Apart from eggs it basically consisted of onion and green peppers. “
That shouldn't upset them too much,”
she thought.'
âThe regular veggies will be peas and carrots and that's easy enough. I've got a big bag in the freezer,' Mavis explained.
âThis is going to be perfect, Mam. Chelsey.' Sid took her hand in hers. âSee what a nice supper Mam is making us.' She showed her the glossy picture. It did look appetizing. Chelsey dragged on the hand.
âCome and see the pictures in my room, Siddie.'
Sid had spent an hour with her sister before Billy came home, just before six. Chelsey's collection consisted of an assortment of large posters of hockey players from all over. There was no team allegiance, just the picture of the hockey player was enough. She had Mark Osborne and Tom Fergus of the Maple Leafs: Sergei Makarov of the Calgary Flames: Donald Dufresne from the Montreal Canadians and Grant Fuhr of the Edmonton Oilers. Then they looked at Chelsey's collection of little glass animals. Sid had seen them many times, but Chelsey always loved to show them off.
Billy greeted his sister with a degree of lordly indifference, but Sid could see he was happy to tell her about the courses and his new friends. He too, had the stocky build of the family, but unlike his sisters was a carrot top. With the physique of a boxer, he'd been in many a fight, but had never thought to pursue the sport, disliking any physical pain. He admired his sister for her weightlifting and gym training, though would never tell her so. The idea had attracted him too, but he wouldn't play second fiddle to anyone. âNot on your sweet bippy.' He wasn't going to be looked upon as some kind of dingbat, following in his big sister's footsteps.
After supper, which Sid enjoyed very much, she insisted Mavis sit and relax, while she and Chelsey washed up. CBC was featuring a re-run of âLes Plouffs'. This successful sit-com was one of Mavis' favorites.
Billy had been disappointed there was no meat, but he still had eaten the equivalent of two platefuls. Chelsey ate hers because she knew it was the only way to get her âtin roof'; a favorite dessert which only came an special occasions. She could live on ice cream alone.
She washed while Sid dried and put away. This was the better way around because although Chelsey had the best intentions in the world to be
very
,
very
careful, somehow glasses and mugs just slipped through her fingers. It was good for Sid to have this time with her though. They both got on so well. Chelsey did miss her sister. Billy was all right, but they really had nothing to say to each other. He would defend her to his last breath, but they didn't talk. Siddie was much more fun.
Eventually Chelsey was put to bed and Billy went out. Mavis could spend some time with her daughter, just the two of them. She was glad of this because she had something serious to discuss.
âYes Mam, what is it?'
They were sitting across from each other, in front of the TV, but there was no sound. Sid found the flickering picture distracting, but she didn't want to jump up yet again.
âIt's like this, Sid. I've met someone I really like â¦' her voice trailed away.
âMam that's great.' She beamed at her.
âWait, child. Let me finish.' Mavis was finding this hard enough.
âSorry, Mam, go on.'
âPercy is a real nice guy. I've known him about ten months now â¦'
âBut he's married,' she interjected, pulling a face.
âDaughter, button your lip.'
Sid brought her hand to her mouth in one of those gestures, reminding Mavis of when she was a little girl and had done something wrong. âSorry again, Mam.'
âAs I was saying ⦠I've known him for a while now and no, he's not married. He's divorced and has one son living with him. The other is with his mother.' This time Sid stayed silent. She really wanted to turn the TV off, but she'd definitely left it too late. Another interruption and her mother would brain her.
âThis is the problem, Siddie. We want to be together. He's got his own house and it's a good size. Mind you, I think Billy might be moving out in the near future so it would only be me and Chelse going over.'
âI don't see a problem, Mam,' she exclaimed impetuously.
âThe problem is Chelsey.'
âAh ⦠now I get your drift.' She was quiet, thinking through the various difficulties which could be encountered in light of this new aspect. Her mother went on, glad at last to be able to talk it through with someone sympathetic and understanding.
âIt will be very disruptive to her life. She's settled into a nice routine. This house she's happy in. It holds good memories for her. She's enjoying the sheltered workshop and the people there. Now she had to make big changes and adjustments from Runnymede and you know how uncontrollable she can be when she feels the least bit insecure. Can I ask her to go through all that again, risking her tantrums and violence? Especially in front of Percy and Shane, just as we're all trying to get to know each other and get along?' She stopped. She'd had these worries bottled up inside her for weeks, ever since Percy had put the proposition to her. She badly wanted to say, âyes', but she held her guardianship very seriously.
âWhat has Percy had to say regarding this dilemma, Mam?' Sid couldn't see a solution herself.
âOh, I've not shared this with him. He's just waiting on my answer.'
âI see.' She pondered for a while. âDo they get along? Him and Chelse I mean.'
âSo so. They've met, but haven't spent much time together. I had been thinking it might be possible for her to go to you â¦?' she looked at Sid to see how this suggestion was being greeted. She saw a look of surprise cross her daughter's face. âOf course, I realize this is out of the question with you taking up your studies an' all,' she added hastily. Also, to be honest, Chelsey was not Sid's responsibility
. “Let's face facts,”
she thought dejectedly, “
no passing of the buck.”
âWell, it's not only that Mam. It could be equally disruptive for Chelsey to come to me as for her to go with you over there. By the way, where does he live?'
âHe's out Burlington way.'
âOh dear, I see. Is that where he works?'
âNo he works here. That's how I met him. He runs a delivery service and the factory is one of his clients.'
âWell, if he's serious about you and I don't doubt his sincerity,' Sid added, âthen I think you'll have to share these concerns with him. He's no teenager. He'll know everything isn't always straightforward and compromises have to be made. My advice ⦠talk to him.' Sid hoped he was as nice as her Ma thought.
âSuppose it puts him off to learn that Chelsey isn't always the sunny girl he's seen so far?' Mavis couldn't face the thought of losing this man.
Poor Ma, Sid pondered. No wonder she's looking careworn. Trying to weigh up the pros. and cons. all on her own.
âMam, I'm not meaning to be harsh when I say this but ⦠if he can't come to terms with this ⦠is he the man for you?' She looked deeply into her mother's lined face, trying to gauge the depth of feeling she had for this new love. It must be strong. She had never known her express interest in anyone else before. But of course, she wouldn't always have been privy to the personal side of her life.
Mavis was quiet for a long time after this question. It went to the heart of the matter. Sidonie was right. She had to face her fear, bring it to the harsh light of honest scrutiny. Both she and Percy had to deal with this together or else they had no foundation. She took a big breath and rose to her feet.
âThank you for this talk Siddie. It's helped me no end.' Mavis made her way to the kitchen and Sid followed.
âI haven't been very inspired Mam, but I really don't know what else to suggest,' she admitted. Mavis plugged in the kettle. She liked a cup of tea before bed. Sid would get a Milo.
âIt's been a great help to me dear,' she reiterated. âTalking like this has allowed me to clarify some of the thoughts that have been absorbing me lately.' Sitting at the kitchen table again, they enjoyed their nightcap; Sid would leave when the cups were empty. She was glad her mother had been able to unburden herself tonight. She did love her so.
âYour last day at the track coming up. Will you miss it?' Mavis asked.
âI think I would, were it not for the fact that I'm going to something so much more significant.' She looked introspective. âI've enjoyed working with the horses, but life on the backstretch doesn't really appeal to me. The people are pretty rough and not always kind to the animals. Don't get me wrong â¦' she amended hastily, â â¦some of them are the salt of the earth and have the best interest of the horses at heart. But you know how it is when there's money to be made â¦'
It was time for her to head back to the city. It had been a good visit. âSo Mam, will you still be here at Thanksgiving? You remember I asked about bringing Tenille over?' She had picked up her keys and Mavis was walking with her to the car.
âOh yes. Nothing's going to happen that fast. And who knows, nothing may happen at all,' she ended on a wistful note.
âCome on Mam. Give Percy a chance. You haven't even spoken to him yet,' Sid admonished. They embraced.
âTake care of yourself, Siddie. I worry about you and all this driving. You know there are maniacs out there on the road.'
âThey're not out to get me, Mam, they're after the other guy,' she joked, to raise her spirits.
âI see through you, Sidonie H. And you don't bear a charmed life. You are flesh and blood, mortal ⦠just like the rest of us.'
âMam, I'll be careful,' she assured her. âI always am. I'll see you at Thanksgiving. And you take care of yourself too. When I have a number for the residence I'll call you and you can let me know how things are going.'
There was a definite chill in the air; the stars sparkled crisply in the cloudless sky. âDon't get cold, I'll talk to you soon.' She gave her a quick peck on the cheek then settled into the driver's seat.
Steering for home, she let her thoughts review the visit, wondering about Shane. Her mother hadn't said much about him. He could make waves for Chelsey. There would be trouble if he were either too nice, or too nasty. Of course, a lot would depend upon his age. Billy should be with them if they did decide to live together. He would be protection for Chelsey. Never an easy matter when two families attempted to blend. Ma would definitely need Percy's total support. If he was a man who could pull this off then she had found a gem. She wondered if they would get to meet at Thanksgiving. Goodness, where would the house put them all? She slowed down to take a corner and ran up the ass of a booze bus. No problem. She'd not even had one beer. She wound down the window.
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