Outing of the Heart (99 page)
Read Outing of the Heart Online
Authors: Lisa Ann Harper
âShe's doing well, Sid. She likes the new sheltered workshop much better than the school. It's given her a sense of self-worth, she never got from Runnymede. Listen here she is; I'll put her on.' Sid heard a bit of business in the handing over of the phone and there she was squealing in delight.
âSiddie, Siddie. I've got a lovely new purse to keep my bus tickets and tissues in. It's blue. I wish you could see it.'
âWhat's the name of your new friend, Chelse?' Sid knew to keep her questions simple and only one at a time. It hadn't always been this way. When younger she'd not been so patient, but she had learned and her diligence had been repaid one hundredfold in the love her sister heaped on her. She looked upon Sid as a second mother. When Mavis had been forced to work those long hours and couldn't be home, Sid had been the primary care-giver for both her siblings. Unfortunately Billy had become too wild. He needed paternal discipline and Mavis just couldn't come down on him hard enough. Sid had done her best, trying to appeal to his finer nature, but soon he stopped listening to her. So long as she kept cooking his meals, doing his laundry that was all he was interested in. Even that stopped once he found ways to make money. Sid was sure the neighbors must wonder how they were all turning out so well when they had been such hell raisers in their youth.
âJulie. She's got blond hair like us. I'd like you to meet her too, Siddie. She's funny.'
âMaybe I will one day Chelse.' Mavis came back on the line.
âShe sounds good doesn't she,' her voice was positive.
âVery happy,' Sid agreed.
âAny chance of you getting back to us at Thanksgiving? The University will give you a break then, won't it?'
âYes we do. That would be great Mam. Ma?'
âYes?'
âI'd like to bring Tenille to meet you then too. Could I?' Sid was tentative, but she longed to present Ten to her family. They were such an important part of her life. She wanted everyone to like each other and to get along. Perhaps Thanksgiving would be the perfect opportunity. It was also the weekend of Ten's birthday. The whole thing would be really cool.
âOf course, Siddie. We'd like to meet your new friend. You've told me so much about her, it would be good to meet face to face.'
She knew her mother wouldn't be a problem, but she wasn't sure how Ten would take to Billy and Chelsey. She'd kept her pretty much in the dark as to her family background, but after that disastrous trip to Lindsay, she'd thought discretion truly was the better part of valor.
âOK Mam, I'll see what I can arrange.'
âWhen do you leave and when do you actually start?' Mavis wanted all the details.
âI finish work Saturday. I'm going up Monday to get settled into the residence. Tuesday I have to register, get my books, equipment etc. They give you a big long list and Wednesday is the actual Orientation. The sophomores take you around â¦'
âEnough with those big words already,' her mother joked.
âI'll return to Toronto Thursday and don't have to be back again until Sunday. Classes start Monday. There you are Mam; blow by blow.'
âThank you, daughter mine.'
âI'll come over and visit with you Friday, if that's convenient. I'll be able to get away then.' She knew that with Ten working the late night shopping hours, she'd not be missed.
âI'd love that Siddie. I'll make your favorite stew with pumpkin.' Mavis was already planning.
âHold it Mam.'
âWhat?'
âI'm vegetarian now.'
âOh no. How can I cook for you? I don't know all that fancy stuff,' her mother lamented, perplexed by this news.
âIt's OK,' Sid hastened to assure her, âDon't panic. Just cook your usual meat and two veg. and I'll double up on the veggies. Simple.'
âI can't just give you that. It's not enough.' Her mother was adamant.
âMam, listen if you're going to be difficult over this, I won't come at all,' Sid threatened, getting impatient.
âNo, no. Vegetables it is,' Mavis capitulated. A visit from Sid was all too rare.
âThat's settled then. I'll call you before I leave. What time do you get home these days?'
âI just beat Chelsey's bus at four thirty. The boss doesn't like that I leave early, but what choice do I have? So I lose an hour's pay every day, but that's better than no job at all.'
âToo right.'
Mavis was a machinist for âFruit of the Loom', a company with a more sensitive social conscience than many in the rag trade. She appreciated the concession they gave to the fact of her having a handicapped daughter. After talking to her mother, Sid decided to call Milka and Edina, they were unlikely to be out midweek. They both had a stint on the line and were delighted for her that everything was turning out so well. They too, wanted all the details. By the time she got off the phone it was pushing it to get to the Centre in time.
“Oo..ps, twice in one day would definitely be too much,”
she thought.
Sid need not have worried, at that time of night it was a smooth run. Everyone looked pleased to see her. She was getting to know the crew quite well. One of the clients always came along with her friend who didn't like to leave their pet pooch at home. He would make a big fuss of Sid as soon as he saw her. Sundance was a lively Wheaten Terrier his glossy, full coat a golden champagne. Colleen tied a red and white check bandana round his neck, the point hanging down in front. Sid found him irresistible and gave him as much attention as he gave her. His bright eyes sparkled in her presence with his tail wagging in joyful abandon. âHe never makes this much fuss over anyone else.'
âI love animals. Perhaps he senses it?'
Colleen kept him well groomed making it a sensual delight to pet and play with him.
âIt must take you quite some time to keep him like this,' she commented.
âA labor of love.' Colleen looked down fondly on Sundance. Noting this response, he turned to his mistress and began giving her great licks with his big pink tongue, the tail going all the while. “
He really is a love,”
thought Sid.
“One day Ten and I will have a pet. Perhaps one for her and one for me.”
At last all the closing up chores were done and they could get away. âHow was the evening, Babe?' she asked once they'd gotten themselves settled. Ten was wearing a navy sweater of soft mohair, over her pale pink shirt and navy pants. She always wore pants or jeans these days being too self-conscious about her leg.
âIt was a good night. Busy. But I like that. How about you?' Sid thought better of talking about her sorting and packing so launched straight into her telephoning. She got Ten caught up on Milka and Edina's goings on, the main event in their lives being their trip up to Parry Sound to take in the music festival. The weather had been perfect, the scenery magical and the music ⦠out of this world.
âI guess they had a good time then,' Ten laughed broadly.
âSpeaking of trips, Ten,' Sid began: âHow would you like to visit my Ma for Thanksgiving?' Ten turned and looked at her. This was the first time she had mentioned any involvement with her family and she was delighted. âI know it's only to Mississauga, not really a trip, but it would be an outing.'
âSid, I'd be thrilled to meet your mother and â¦' now she had to wrack her brains for their names.
âChelsey and Billy,' she supplied.
âYes. Will your mother be happy to meet me?' she voiced her concern, that usual frown appearing.
âDon't.' she said, smoothing Ten's brow with a gentle hand. âNo need to frown,' she reassured her. She wanted to say: âMy Mam isn't Doris,' but instead repeated her mother's words that she'd love to see her face to face. As they got themselves ready for bed, she continued: âI'm popping over to Ma's next Friday, for dinner, so I'll drive you to work and then head on out.'
Ten settled herself down under the covers. âNo need Honey, the St. Clair streetcar stop is right on the corner and it takes me into the station, next to the escalators. Anyway, you don't realize how good I'm getting on my foot. I hardly need the cane any more.'
âNow listen here, Smarty Pants,' Sid admonished as she climbed in beside her: âDon't run before you can walk. That tendon can flare up as quick as a chipmunk's tail. You set yourself back, especially if I'm not around to help out, then you'll really have a long face.' The reminder of Sid's imminent departure sobered their mood. She took Ten in her arms and kissed her softly.
âDarling. I'm going to miss you so much,' Ten confided. âI love you so desperately, it feels like my heart will break when I think of you leaving.' She clung to her as if she would be taking off right then.
âMy Sweetness,' Sid said, soothing her with gentle caresses: âIt's hard for me too, but you know it's something I have to â¦'
Ten interrupted, placing her fingertips over her mouth. âI know Sid, I wouldn't stop you for the world. This is important and you must do it. I don't mean anything like that, it's just ⦠well, I will be longing for your return,' she finished helplessly, her large, dark eyes reaching out to Sid imploringly. They were moist from the threatening tears.
Sid adjusted her body more snugly so she could feel Ten's breasts pressing against hers. She loved it when they were this close. Great Goddess Sophia, she would miss this woman. Those eyes went straight to her heart.
âListen my Love. Yes I leave Monday, but I'm back down again Thursday and then we have the whole weekend. We should plan something special to do, how's that?' She tried to lift her darling's spirits. She didn't want her going off to sleep with sad thoughts.
âMm..m yes, let's do that. Make it special,' Ten endorsed. Her eyelids were beginning to feel heavy. âYou must get off to sleep, Sid. It's getting late. Don't worry. I am all right, truly.' She kissed Sid goodnight, her lips moving on hers in a tender caress, then turned on her side so she could come in close behind her. This is how they dropped off to sleep every night.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Rani had arranged with Ten to collect her after lunch the next day. Sid still wasn't back, needing to have the car serviced. The old girl was getting on and with all the driving scheduled, it would be prudent to have a few things checked out. Also, she had confidence in the Texaco mechanic near the track, having gotten to know him during her time there. He would do his best by her. She hoped so, anyway.
Today Rani was in western clothes. Over black tights she wore a mid-length red top, sporting the CKLN logo of a microphone growing out of the ground, with the CN Tower as part of the city skyline to identify the location as Toronto; all this encompassed in a black circle. Her hair had been tied back and there was no jewelry. Her dusky Indian looks were strikingly attractive; a woman not to be disregarded. Ten didn't invite her in, she was set to go, dressed casually in jeans and T-shirt with a sweater tied round her shoulders for later.
Their journey downtown got off to a slow start having just missed a streetcar, but once at the subway, they zipped along. The train was empty this time of day, the ensuing quiet giving Rani the opportunity to impart some background information on the station. It relied heavily on volunteer labor, the many people offering their time being students in journalism and/or radio. These would be her colleagues, she explained. In the evening it could be a different work force; the station manager had a lot to co-ordinate.
Alighting at College, they walked through to Gerrard Street, passing animated knots of students, or others, rushing on to their next class. It all reminded Ten of her student days at Peterborough Civic. How she wished she'd finished her training. She should investigate the possibility of enrolling at TGH as a mature student.
“Could this be done in Nursing?”
she wondered. While Sid was engaged in her studies, she could be involved with her own. Once back on her feet she would check into it.
Rani led the way downstairs and along a number of confusing corridors. At last she pushed open a heavy door, entering them immediately into a hubbub of sound. The radio was on and everyone shouting over top of it. The station manager's office was no more than a corner; a space partitioned off by two large noise baffles. Accessibility was the name of the game here. To Ten's surprise the manager was a woman. Automatically she had expected a man.
“How easily one gets trapped into ways of thinking,”
she admonished herself.
The friendliness and warmth of Ten's reception did much to put her at ease. Rani introduced her to Gudrun Pramberg who decided to conduct the tour herself and took them through to the newsroom. All space was cramped, people everywhere, but they seemed to know what they were doing, despite the apparent disorder. The newscaster for Wednesday was a young, black Nova Scotian, Aldo. He was very pleased to see Tenille. He felt badly at having to leave them, but if they got a replacement quickly, he could take off with a clearer conscience.
âLook, any help I can give you, I'm your man,' He smiled at her broadly. âI can come in early for the next two weeks and go through everything with you. Really, it's not hard once you get the hang of it.' He was trying to sound positive. The last one had run the distance once he'd seen all that was involved. This one looked a bit of a timid squirrel too. Gudrun thanked him and they moved on to the soundproof booth where the news was actually read. An older man was in there, wearing headphones. Ten asked about them.
âCome round here,' Gudrun indicated a door beyond the booth that had a window in it. She peered in and saw a young man sitting at a control panel. Gudrun continued. âHervey is in contact with Ryan, the monitor. Ryan cues him and sets up the carts he needs; that is the tapes. You see you would never be in there alone, that is you would always be monitored. Hervey receives his instructions via the headphones; he hears when the cut is ending and gets ready on the next cue.'
âSiddie, Siddie. I've got a lovely new purse to keep my bus tickets and tissues in. It's blue. I wish you could see it.'
âWhat's the name of your new friend, Chelse?' Sid knew to keep her questions simple and only one at a time. It hadn't always been this way. When younger she'd not been so patient, but she had learned and her diligence had been repaid one hundredfold in the love her sister heaped on her. She looked upon Sid as a second mother. When Mavis had been forced to work those long hours and couldn't be home, Sid had been the primary care-giver for both her siblings. Unfortunately Billy had become too wild. He needed paternal discipline and Mavis just couldn't come down on him hard enough. Sid had done her best, trying to appeal to his finer nature, but soon he stopped listening to her. So long as she kept cooking his meals, doing his laundry that was all he was interested in. Even that stopped once he found ways to make money. Sid was sure the neighbors must wonder how they were all turning out so well when they had been such hell raisers in their youth.
âJulie. She's got blond hair like us. I'd like you to meet her too, Siddie. She's funny.'
âMaybe I will one day Chelse.' Mavis came back on the line.
âShe sounds good doesn't she,' her voice was positive.
âVery happy,' Sid agreed.
âAny chance of you getting back to us at Thanksgiving? The University will give you a break then, won't it?'
âYes we do. That would be great Mam. Ma?'
âYes?'
âI'd like to bring Tenille to meet you then too. Could I?' Sid was tentative, but she longed to present Ten to her family. They were such an important part of her life. She wanted everyone to like each other and to get along. Perhaps Thanksgiving would be the perfect opportunity. It was also the weekend of Ten's birthday. The whole thing would be really cool.
âOf course, Siddie. We'd like to meet your new friend. You've told me so much about her, it would be good to meet face to face.'
She knew her mother wouldn't be a problem, but she wasn't sure how Ten would take to Billy and Chelsey. She'd kept her pretty much in the dark as to her family background, but after that disastrous trip to Lindsay, she'd thought discretion truly was the better part of valor.
âOK Mam, I'll see what I can arrange.'
âWhen do you leave and when do you actually start?' Mavis wanted all the details.
âI finish work Saturday. I'm going up Monday to get settled into the residence. Tuesday I have to register, get my books, equipment etc. They give you a big long list and Wednesday is the actual Orientation. The sophomores take you around â¦'
âEnough with those big words already,' her mother joked.
âI'll return to Toronto Thursday and don't have to be back again until Sunday. Classes start Monday. There you are Mam; blow by blow.'
âThank you, daughter mine.'
âI'll come over and visit with you Friday, if that's convenient. I'll be able to get away then.' She knew that with Ten working the late night shopping hours, she'd not be missed.
âI'd love that Siddie. I'll make your favorite stew with pumpkin.' Mavis was already planning.
âHold it Mam.'
âWhat?'
âI'm vegetarian now.'
âOh no. How can I cook for you? I don't know all that fancy stuff,' her mother lamented, perplexed by this news.
âIt's OK,' Sid hastened to assure her, âDon't panic. Just cook your usual meat and two veg. and I'll double up on the veggies. Simple.'
âI can't just give you that. It's not enough.' Her mother was adamant.
âMam, listen if you're going to be difficult over this, I won't come at all,' Sid threatened, getting impatient.
âNo, no. Vegetables it is,' Mavis capitulated. A visit from Sid was all too rare.
âThat's settled then. I'll call you before I leave. What time do you get home these days?'
âI just beat Chelsey's bus at four thirty. The boss doesn't like that I leave early, but what choice do I have? So I lose an hour's pay every day, but that's better than no job at all.'
âToo right.'
Mavis was a machinist for âFruit of the Loom', a company with a more sensitive social conscience than many in the rag trade. She appreciated the concession they gave to the fact of her having a handicapped daughter. After talking to her mother, Sid decided to call Milka and Edina, they were unlikely to be out midweek. They both had a stint on the line and were delighted for her that everything was turning out so well. They too, wanted all the details. By the time she got off the phone it was pushing it to get to the Centre in time.
“Oo..ps, twice in one day would definitely be too much,”
she thought.
Sid need not have worried, at that time of night it was a smooth run. Everyone looked pleased to see her. She was getting to know the crew quite well. One of the clients always came along with her friend who didn't like to leave their pet pooch at home. He would make a big fuss of Sid as soon as he saw her. Sundance was a lively Wheaten Terrier his glossy, full coat a golden champagne. Colleen tied a red and white check bandana round his neck, the point hanging down in front. Sid found him irresistible and gave him as much attention as he gave her. His bright eyes sparkled in her presence with his tail wagging in joyful abandon. âHe never makes this much fuss over anyone else.'
âI love animals. Perhaps he senses it?'
Colleen kept him well groomed making it a sensual delight to pet and play with him.
âIt must take you quite some time to keep him like this,' she commented.
âA labor of love.' Colleen looked down fondly on Sundance. Noting this response, he turned to his mistress and began giving her great licks with his big pink tongue, the tail going all the while. “
He really is a love,”
thought Sid.
“One day Ten and I will have a pet. Perhaps one for her and one for me.”
At last all the closing up chores were done and they could get away. âHow was the evening, Babe?' she asked once they'd gotten themselves settled. Ten was wearing a navy sweater of soft mohair, over her pale pink shirt and navy pants. She always wore pants or jeans these days being too self-conscious about her leg.
âIt was a good night. Busy. But I like that. How about you?' Sid thought better of talking about her sorting and packing so launched straight into her telephoning. She got Ten caught up on Milka and Edina's goings on, the main event in their lives being their trip up to Parry Sound to take in the music festival. The weather had been perfect, the scenery magical and the music ⦠out of this world.
âI guess they had a good time then,' Ten laughed broadly.
âSpeaking of trips, Ten,' Sid began: âHow would you like to visit my Ma for Thanksgiving?' Ten turned and looked at her. This was the first time she had mentioned any involvement with her family and she was delighted. âI know it's only to Mississauga, not really a trip, but it would be an outing.'
âSid, I'd be thrilled to meet your mother and â¦' now she had to wrack her brains for their names.
âChelsey and Billy,' she supplied.
âYes. Will your mother be happy to meet me?' she voiced her concern, that usual frown appearing.
âDon't.' she said, smoothing Ten's brow with a gentle hand. âNo need to frown,' she reassured her. She wanted to say: âMy Mam isn't Doris,' but instead repeated her mother's words that she'd love to see her face to face. As they got themselves ready for bed, she continued: âI'm popping over to Ma's next Friday, for dinner, so I'll drive you to work and then head on out.'
Ten settled herself down under the covers. âNo need Honey, the St. Clair streetcar stop is right on the corner and it takes me into the station, next to the escalators. Anyway, you don't realize how good I'm getting on my foot. I hardly need the cane any more.'
âNow listen here, Smarty Pants,' Sid admonished as she climbed in beside her: âDon't run before you can walk. That tendon can flare up as quick as a chipmunk's tail. You set yourself back, especially if I'm not around to help out, then you'll really have a long face.' The reminder of Sid's imminent departure sobered their mood. She took Ten in her arms and kissed her softly.
âDarling. I'm going to miss you so much,' Ten confided. âI love you so desperately, it feels like my heart will break when I think of you leaving.' She clung to her as if she would be taking off right then.
âMy Sweetness,' Sid said, soothing her with gentle caresses: âIt's hard for me too, but you know it's something I have to â¦'
Ten interrupted, placing her fingertips over her mouth. âI know Sid, I wouldn't stop you for the world. This is important and you must do it. I don't mean anything like that, it's just ⦠well, I will be longing for your return,' she finished helplessly, her large, dark eyes reaching out to Sid imploringly. They were moist from the threatening tears.
Sid adjusted her body more snugly so she could feel Ten's breasts pressing against hers. She loved it when they were this close. Great Goddess Sophia, she would miss this woman. Those eyes went straight to her heart.
âListen my Love. Yes I leave Monday, but I'm back down again Thursday and then we have the whole weekend. We should plan something special to do, how's that?' She tried to lift her darling's spirits. She didn't want her going off to sleep with sad thoughts.
âMm..m yes, let's do that. Make it special,' Ten endorsed. Her eyelids were beginning to feel heavy. âYou must get off to sleep, Sid. It's getting late. Don't worry. I am all right, truly.' She kissed Sid goodnight, her lips moving on hers in a tender caress, then turned on her side so she could come in close behind her. This is how they dropped off to sleep every night.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Rani had arranged with Ten to collect her after lunch the next day. Sid still wasn't back, needing to have the car serviced. The old girl was getting on and with all the driving scheduled, it would be prudent to have a few things checked out. Also, she had confidence in the Texaco mechanic near the track, having gotten to know him during her time there. He would do his best by her. She hoped so, anyway.
Today Rani was in western clothes. Over black tights she wore a mid-length red top, sporting the CKLN logo of a microphone growing out of the ground, with the CN Tower as part of the city skyline to identify the location as Toronto; all this encompassed in a black circle. Her hair had been tied back and there was no jewelry. Her dusky Indian looks were strikingly attractive; a woman not to be disregarded. Ten didn't invite her in, she was set to go, dressed casually in jeans and T-shirt with a sweater tied round her shoulders for later.
Their journey downtown got off to a slow start having just missed a streetcar, but once at the subway, they zipped along. The train was empty this time of day, the ensuing quiet giving Rani the opportunity to impart some background information on the station. It relied heavily on volunteer labor, the many people offering their time being students in journalism and/or radio. These would be her colleagues, she explained. In the evening it could be a different work force; the station manager had a lot to co-ordinate.
Alighting at College, they walked through to Gerrard Street, passing animated knots of students, or others, rushing on to their next class. It all reminded Ten of her student days at Peterborough Civic. How she wished she'd finished her training. She should investigate the possibility of enrolling at TGH as a mature student.
“Could this be done in Nursing?”
she wondered. While Sid was engaged in her studies, she could be involved with her own. Once back on her feet she would check into it.
Rani led the way downstairs and along a number of confusing corridors. At last she pushed open a heavy door, entering them immediately into a hubbub of sound. The radio was on and everyone shouting over top of it. The station manager's office was no more than a corner; a space partitioned off by two large noise baffles. Accessibility was the name of the game here. To Ten's surprise the manager was a woman. Automatically she had expected a man.
“How easily one gets trapped into ways of thinking,”
she admonished herself.
The friendliness and warmth of Ten's reception did much to put her at ease. Rani introduced her to Gudrun Pramberg who decided to conduct the tour herself and took them through to the newsroom. All space was cramped, people everywhere, but they seemed to know what they were doing, despite the apparent disorder. The newscaster for Wednesday was a young, black Nova Scotian, Aldo. He was very pleased to see Tenille. He felt badly at having to leave them, but if they got a replacement quickly, he could take off with a clearer conscience.
âLook, any help I can give you, I'm your man,' He smiled at her broadly. âI can come in early for the next two weeks and go through everything with you. Really, it's not hard once you get the hang of it.' He was trying to sound positive. The last one had run the distance once he'd seen all that was involved. This one looked a bit of a timid squirrel too. Gudrun thanked him and they moved on to the soundproof booth where the news was actually read. An older man was in there, wearing headphones. Ten asked about them.
âCome round here,' Gudrun indicated a door beyond the booth that had a window in it. She peered in and saw a young man sitting at a control panel. Gudrun continued. âHervey is in contact with Ryan, the monitor. Ryan cues him and sets up the carts he needs; that is the tapes. You see you would never be in there alone, that is you would always be monitored. Hervey receives his instructions via the headphones; he hears when the cut is ending and gets ready on the next cue.'
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