Outing of the Heart (103 page)
Read Outing of the Heart Online
Authors: Lisa Ann Harper
âEvening Officer.' It was a policewoman who asked to see her licence and took her through the process. She eyed her up and down. âMm..m nice,' she thought. Feminine women in uniform could be very intriguing. Because of this delay she would have to go to Reine's for the camera tomorrow.
The formalities completed, she was on her way and made it home shortly after eleven. She and Ten exchanged the news of the day whilst getting ready for bed. She didn't mention her mother's prospective move. Although she wanted to share everything with Ten, she felt this was somehow different. She hadn't yet met her mother and really it was her personal dilemma. Was it keeping secrets? She looked at Ten speculatively. Did she share everything with her or did she have private things too?
However much you might wish to know someone completely, it was impossible, unless you were that person ⦠and no one ever was.
She cast her mind back. Had she experienced love at first sight when she had seen Ten in the swimming pool that day? It's something not known at the time. Only later, with hindsight, is it possible to put those moments into perspective and see that the magical transformation had taken place. The passage of time is required to give significance and true meaning to the events. Yes, she thought, it had been love at first sight. This woman had been magic for her from that very first moment. A sense of recognition had been present when she'd watched her during those early encounters, almost as though she had conjured her up into a reality, like Copelia. The way she'd flicked her hair back out of her eyes: the way her body swayed with the easy motion of her shapely legs: listening to the soft tones of her voice had been mesmerizing. Now a warmth would rush through her, just to think of being back home with her again.
âYou're looking very serious. A nickel for your thoughts,' Ten broke in.
Sid's thoughts had been whirling through her mind too fast to verbalize, a cascade of emotions chasing each other. Instead she responded by saying: âCome here and let me kiss you.' Her eyes were big, more grey than blue at this time and with the thoughts still deep within them, a hint of sensuality lurked in their luminous depths. Ten, taken aback by the fervor in her voice, started to speak, but she placed a finger on her lips as her face came closer, making Ten's heart take a perilous leap. A blaze of pleasure surged through her. Swiftly Sid turned her into her body, then her mouth came down on hers, soft yet demanding, claiming her rights; confirming her position as the love of her life.
Desire sent Ten's blood humming along its channels, as she fell into her arms and felt Sid's heart thudding heavily. She could feel her limbs trembling as their kisses grew more and more urgent; her whole body being swamped by such turbulent sensations. Her heart was hammering; she heard it as a roaring in her ears.
Sid pulled momentarily away to look at Ten's face and saw it glistening with a film of sweat. Her desire drove her to drink thirstily from the willing mouth, as her heart kicked against her ribs. The kisses became explosive, then marvellously violent as their bodies set up an insistent clamor for more. The passion between them rose to a white heat, sending their heads spinning. Each felt the deep yearning, the foundation of this sweet torment and with one accord turned toward the bedroom, arms linked, unable to tolerate the least separation. The touch of their skin continued the caresses.
They fell to the bed, locked in an embrace of desire so all-consuming they lost track of time 'til they both lay spent and motionless, steeped in fulfilment, their flesh one; their cup of contentment as potent as the strongest narcotic.
Sid's last thought, just before she drifted off to sleep:
“Tomorrow will be my last day at the track.”
*Â Â *Â Â *
Sid feared the worst for her last day on the job, but as it turned out her fears were groundless. It was a colorful, crisp, fall morning. Cold enough for one's breath to hang in the air, but not so cold to put on more than a cosy sweater. Today she was wearing one Mavis had knitted when she'd first started at the track. It was a thick-knit in off white, zippered up the front, with a large brown/black horse's head on the back. At six o'clock in the morning she was also wearing her toque and mittens, but she knew it wouldn't be long before she'd have to strip off the various layers.
At break time the gang set off for the canteen. On the way there her boss told her he wanted to show her a new arrival at his friend's stable. They all trooped over, passing close by the ornamental pool which added to the beauty of the grounds. Suddenly they closed ranks and lifted her bodily into the air as if making to throw her in.
She screamed out: âYou bastards. Save me, somebody.'
They all ignored her pleas, claiming she deserved it for thinking of leaving them. Her heart banged in her chest, so sure they would carry out their threats. At the last moment her boss said they wouldn't do it after all, since they liked her too much to get her shivering cold. Laughing together they made their way to the refreshment house. Some pretty speeches and wishes for every success in her chosen career were delivered, but it took time for her breath to return to normal after that shock. Eventually she found her voice and was able to be most gracious in her acceptance of a handsome brass statue of a mare and her colt. It was only ten centimetres high, but skilfully crafted. Along with that came a funny card everyone had signed. These would be treasured mementos; the friends she had made at the track over the past eighteen months would be genuinely missed.
âYou never know, perhaps one day you'll return as the veterinary for my stable,' Michael presaged, a canny look to his eye. She smiled back in the euphoria of the occasion and believed that one-day, this could be the case. It's hard to sever ties with significant people when the new life has not yet taken the place, or meaning, of the old. She was not someone who relished change, appreciating the tried and true. The company of old friends and colleagues meant a lot to her. In fact it would be hard, starting over at Guelph; settling in and making new friends. Not that she couldn't be gregarious, but this wouldn't be her choice if she could design her life.
There wasn't much work left after the presentation. Michael told her to go, but she hung around a little longer, visiting people at the other stables and making one last trip to the front stretch, watching the final group of horses wind up their exercise run for the day. Until feed time, it would be grooming and shoeing; individual attention to special problems.
Eventually the moment came when there was no more reason to stay and she said her final farewell, surprised at the tears pricking the back of her eyes, at the lump lodged in her throat. She hadn't expected to be so moved. On her way out she took time to stop at the residence and take her leave of the Warden. She had said goodbye to her when she'd moved out, but she couldn't resist one last visit. Sometimes, she thought, she was too much of a softie. Still, this was probably the last time. She might never pass this way again, one more look wouldn't hurt.
As it happened, a new girl was signing in arranging her affairs, to be ready for that six o'clock start. She looked young and fresh faced, her short hair held off her brow by a white plastic band. Sid could sense she felt lost.
âHave you worked with horses before?' a gentle question.
âNo. This is my first job,' the girl replied. She could only have been in her early teens Sid judged. Younger than she when she'd started. She didn't look the confident type either; not a girl who had grown up with horses.
âThey're beautiful animals. You'll be fine once you get to know their idiosyncrasies. Who will you be working for?' She smiled encouragingly at the youngster.
âMr. Di'Angello.'
She groaned inwardly. Poor kid. He wasn't too bad, but the crew he had working for him was a bit rough. Old hands on the track who had been around too long and drank too much.
âWhat made you choose to work at a racetrack?'
âWell, actually I needed a place to stay and this job provided accommodation. I don't really know much about the work.'
The Warden finished her bookwork and handed back the documents.
âListen,' Sid said spontaneously: âIf you run into any problems, give this guy a call.' She hastily scribbled down Michael's name and number and handed it to her. âMy name's Sid and just tell him you were talking to me, OK?'
The girl looked surprised, but accepted the paper and thanked her for it, stuffing it into her purse as she turned to go.
âSo, finally on your way Sidonie,' the Warden stated.
âYes. You are my last stop then I'm gone.'
âWhen do you leave for Guelph?'
âNot 'til Monday. I have the weekend off so tomorrow my friend and I are making a trip to Niagara Falls.'
âThat will be nice, dear. The colors will be beautiful this time of year. Well, I do wish you all the best. You have to have the smarts for that line of work and you have them all right.' Sid pointed her nose towards downtown and when she got to Reine's found Thea at home, busy watering her host of plants.
âThis is my Saturday ritual. It seems to be taking longer and longer,' Thea observed. âMind you, I do keep propagating them.' She laughed sardonically. âI could do with a break. Would you like something to drink?' She drained her watering can and they moved back in from the balcony. Reine had put out the camera for pick up, so after a short visit with Thea, she returned home.
Ten was catching up on the ironing having gotten sucked into it by preparing her clothes for the trip. Once started, she decided she might as well continue. She put down the iron and ran to Sid, throwing herself into her arms for a big kiss. âHow does it feel to be unemployed?' she teased mischievously, pulling back.
âI'm not unemployed,' Sid jumped to her own defence. âI have joined the ranks of the student body, that's all.' She gave Ten's bottom a little smack.
âCome and have lunch and tell me how it went this morning.' They sat together at the table enjoying each other's company, both thinking that time was running out, but making no reference to the fact. Sid had planned to have a lie-down after lunch because they were going to the movies that evening and she didn't want to be falling asleep. This was fine by Ten who still had things left to do. They had chosen to see âTHELMA AND LOUISE' and were to meet Milka and Edina at the Eaton Centre at seven o'clock. Sid had decided they'd drive to St. Clair and âPark and Ride'. Ten was looking forward to spending time with Sid's friends and getting to know them better.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Sunday was the most perfect day. The drive to the Falls went smoothly, no hold-ups so they made good time. Ten took her canes at Sid's insistence, but didn't feel she would need to use them unless she got really tired. She wanted to look especially nice for the lunch. With her smart navy pants she had chosen to wear a white T-shirt, featuring a hand painted navy and silver orchid across the front. Her mother had bought it for her last birthday, but she'd never had occasion to wear it. She had her navy sweater for warmth, just in case. Sid, observing Ten's dress selection, changed her mind on the jeans and chose her cords instead. They had been a good purchase after all.
They rode the âMaid of the Mist', enjoying getting kitted out in the bright blue oilskins. The twenty-minute line up had been worth the wait. Ten was taken totally by surprise when up close, the noise so overwhelming from the thundering cascade. Sid loved the impact of its sheer power. To think this violent turbulence continued unabated night and day, three hundred and sixty-five days of the year.
Their little boat took them nearer to the American Falls, the spray chilling their cheeks as they peered through to see the huge boulders at the base. Nature's magnificence in the raw. People on the staircase at the side of the Falls looked like manikins in their yellow waterproofs.
Sid asked another tourist if she would take their photo as the boat swung around and the Horseshoe Falls came into view. It was a wonderful shot; two such happy people, all the magic of the day caught in their laughing faces. The ride was topsy-turvy, holding on for dear life at times, as the skipper took them through the narrows. The exhilaration was intoxicating, everyone disembarking on an incredible high.
Like the other sightseers they strolled along the front, popping into souvenir outlets on impulse. Ten picked out a captivating Boma carving of an otter, in black soapstone. She couldn't resist its cute expression. Sid bought it for her. Then a T-shirt stall caught their eye so, taking their life in their hands, they crossed the busy thoroughfare in short bursts. Sid chose a pale blue shirt that featured a representation of the Horseshoe Falls in a raised, white applique. Ten paid for this.
Resuming their wanderings, Sid remarked: âThe Falls are a beautiful sight in winter too. All these trees, when they've lost their leaves, become covered in ice from the spray. The shape of the trees becomes outlined in glistening white as the filigree of ice catches the sun. Then, when they turn on the lights at night, you see colored, magical trees. It's like you're in an enchanted grove.'
âOh, I'd like that,' Ten enthused, trying to picture the scene. âBut I love all the colors I'm seeing in the leaves today.' She turned to Sid. âI'm so happy, darling. Thank you for thinking of this.' She wished she could kiss Sid there and then, but this could not be. They couldn't even hold hands. Inside, she felt like shouting out to all the world: âI'm in love with this wonderful girl.' Instead, she had to content herself with giving her a special look of love, letting her eyes express all the devotion she felt in her heart.
Time to move on to Niagara-on-the-Lake. The drive took them past acres and acres of orchards, immaculately maintained.
The formalities completed, she was on her way and made it home shortly after eleven. She and Ten exchanged the news of the day whilst getting ready for bed. She didn't mention her mother's prospective move. Although she wanted to share everything with Ten, she felt this was somehow different. She hadn't yet met her mother and really it was her personal dilemma. Was it keeping secrets? She looked at Ten speculatively. Did she share everything with her or did she have private things too?
However much you might wish to know someone completely, it was impossible, unless you were that person ⦠and no one ever was.
She cast her mind back. Had she experienced love at first sight when she had seen Ten in the swimming pool that day? It's something not known at the time. Only later, with hindsight, is it possible to put those moments into perspective and see that the magical transformation had taken place. The passage of time is required to give significance and true meaning to the events. Yes, she thought, it had been love at first sight. This woman had been magic for her from that very first moment. A sense of recognition had been present when she'd watched her during those early encounters, almost as though she had conjured her up into a reality, like Copelia. The way she'd flicked her hair back out of her eyes: the way her body swayed with the easy motion of her shapely legs: listening to the soft tones of her voice had been mesmerizing. Now a warmth would rush through her, just to think of being back home with her again.
âYou're looking very serious. A nickel for your thoughts,' Ten broke in.
Sid's thoughts had been whirling through her mind too fast to verbalize, a cascade of emotions chasing each other. Instead she responded by saying: âCome here and let me kiss you.' Her eyes were big, more grey than blue at this time and with the thoughts still deep within them, a hint of sensuality lurked in their luminous depths. Ten, taken aback by the fervor in her voice, started to speak, but she placed a finger on her lips as her face came closer, making Ten's heart take a perilous leap. A blaze of pleasure surged through her. Swiftly Sid turned her into her body, then her mouth came down on hers, soft yet demanding, claiming her rights; confirming her position as the love of her life.
Desire sent Ten's blood humming along its channels, as she fell into her arms and felt Sid's heart thudding heavily. She could feel her limbs trembling as their kisses grew more and more urgent; her whole body being swamped by such turbulent sensations. Her heart was hammering; she heard it as a roaring in her ears.
Sid pulled momentarily away to look at Ten's face and saw it glistening with a film of sweat. Her desire drove her to drink thirstily from the willing mouth, as her heart kicked against her ribs. The kisses became explosive, then marvellously violent as their bodies set up an insistent clamor for more. The passion between them rose to a white heat, sending their heads spinning. Each felt the deep yearning, the foundation of this sweet torment and with one accord turned toward the bedroom, arms linked, unable to tolerate the least separation. The touch of their skin continued the caresses.
They fell to the bed, locked in an embrace of desire so all-consuming they lost track of time 'til they both lay spent and motionless, steeped in fulfilment, their flesh one; their cup of contentment as potent as the strongest narcotic.
Sid's last thought, just before she drifted off to sleep:
“Tomorrow will be my last day at the track.”
*Â Â *Â Â *
Sid feared the worst for her last day on the job, but as it turned out her fears were groundless. It was a colorful, crisp, fall morning. Cold enough for one's breath to hang in the air, but not so cold to put on more than a cosy sweater. Today she was wearing one Mavis had knitted when she'd first started at the track. It was a thick-knit in off white, zippered up the front, with a large brown/black horse's head on the back. At six o'clock in the morning she was also wearing her toque and mittens, but she knew it wouldn't be long before she'd have to strip off the various layers.
At break time the gang set off for the canteen. On the way there her boss told her he wanted to show her a new arrival at his friend's stable. They all trooped over, passing close by the ornamental pool which added to the beauty of the grounds. Suddenly they closed ranks and lifted her bodily into the air as if making to throw her in.
She screamed out: âYou bastards. Save me, somebody.'
They all ignored her pleas, claiming she deserved it for thinking of leaving them. Her heart banged in her chest, so sure they would carry out their threats. At the last moment her boss said they wouldn't do it after all, since they liked her too much to get her shivering cold. Laughing together they made their way to the refreshment house. Some pretty speeches and wishes for every success in her chosen career were delivered, but it took time for her breath to return to normal after that shock. Eventually she found her voice and was able to be most gracious in her acceptance of a handsome brass statue of a mare and her colt. It was only ten centimetres high, but skilfully crafted. Along with that came a funny card everyone had signed. These would be treasured mementos; the friends she had made at the track over the past eighteen months would be genuinely missed.
âYou never know, perhaps one day you'll return as the veterinary for my stable,' Michael presaged, a canny look to his eye. She smiled back in the euphoria of the occasion and believed that one-day, this could be the case. It's hard to sever ties with significant people when the new life has not yet taken the place, or meaning, of the old. She was not someone who relished change, appreciating the tried and true. The company of old friends and colleagues meant a lot to her. In fact it would be hard, starting over at Guelph; settling in and making new friends. Not that she couldn't be gregarious, but this wouldn't be her choice if she could design her life.
There wasn't much work left after the presentation. Michael told her to go, but she hung around a little longer, visiting people at the other stables and making one last trip to the front stretch, watching the final group of horses wind up their exercise run for the day. Until feed time, it would be grooming and shoeing; individual attention to special problems.
Eventually the moment came when there was no more reason to stay and she said her final farewell, surprised at the tears pricking the back of her eyes, at the lump lodged in her throat. She hadn't expected to be so moved. On her way out she took time to stop at the residence and take her leave of the Warden. She had said goodbye to her when she'd moved out, but she couldn't resist one last visit. Sometimes, she thought, she was too much of a softie. Still, this was probably the last time. She might never pass this way again, one more look wouldn't hurt.
As it happened, a new girl was signing in arranging her affairs, to be ready for that six o'clock start. She looked young and fresh faced, her short hair held off her brow by a white plastic band. Sid could sense she felt lost.
âHave you worked with horses before?' a gentle question.
âNo. This is my first job,' the girl replied. She could only have been in her early teens Sid judged. Younger than she when she'd started. She didn't look the confident type either; not a girl who had grown up with horses.
âThey're beautiful animals. You'll be fine once you get to know their idiosyncrasies. Who will you be working for?' She smiled encouragingly at the youngster.
âMr. Di'Angello.'
She groaned inwardly. Poor kid. He wasn't too bad, but the crew he had working for him was a bit rough. Old hands on the track who had been around too long and drank too much.
âWhat made you choose to work at a racetrack?'
âWell, actually I needed a place to stay and this job provided accommodation. I don't really know much about the work.'
The Warden finished her bookwork and handed back the documents.
âListen,' Sid said spontaneously: âIf you run into any problems, give this guy a call.' She hastily scribbled down Michael's name and number and handed it to her. âMy name's Sid and just tell him you were talking to me, OK?'
The girl looked surprised, but accepted the paper and thanked her for it, stuffing it into her purse as she turned to go.
âSo, finally on your way Sidonie,' the Warden stated.
âYes. You are my last stop then I'm gone.'
âWhen do you leave for Guelph?'
âNot 'til Monday. I have the weekend off so tomorrow my friend and I are making a trip to Niagara Falls.'
âThat will be nice, dear. The colors will be beautiful this time of year. Well, I do wish you all the best. You have to have the smarts for that line of work and you have them all right.' Sid pointed her nose towards downtown and when she got to Reine's found Thea at home, busy watering her host of plants.
âThis is my Saturday ritual. It seems to be taking longer and longer,' Thea observed. âMind you, I do keep propagating them.' She laughed sardonically. âI could do with a break. Would you like something to drink?' She drained her watering can and they moved back in from the balcony. Reine had put out the camera for pick up, so after a short visit with Thea, she returned home.
Ten was catching up on the ironing having gotten sucked into it by preparing her clothes for the trip. Once started, she decided she might as well continue. She put down the iron and ran to Sid, throwing herself into her arms for a big kiss. âHow does it feel to be unemployed?' she teased mischievously, pulling back.
âI'm not unemployed,' Sid jumped to her own defence. âI have joined the ranks of the student body, that's all.' She gave Ten's bottom a little smack.
âCome and have lunch and tell me how it went this morning.' They sat together at the table enjoying each other's company, both thinking that time was running out, but making no reference to the fact. Sid had planned to have a lie-down after lunch because they were going to the movies that evening and she didn't want to be falling asleep. This was fine by Ten who still had things left to do. They had chosen to see âTHELMA AND LOUISE' and were to meet Milka and Edina at the Eaton Centre at seven o'clock. Sid had decided they'd drive to St. Clair and âPark and Ride'. Ten was looking forward to spending time with Sid's friends and getting to know them better.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Sunday was the most perfect day. The drive to the Falls went smoothly, no hold-ups so they made good time. Ten took her canes at Sid's insistence, but didn't feel she would need to use them unless she got really tired. She wanted to look especially nice for the lunch. With her smart navy pants she had chosen to wear a white T-shirt, featuring a hand painted navy and silver orchid across the front. Her mother had bought it for her last birthday, but she'd never had occasion to wear it. She had her navy sweater for warmth, just in case. Sid, observing Ten's dress selection, changed her mind on the jeans and chose her cords instead. They had been a good purchase after all.
They rode the âMaid of the Mist', enjoying getting kitted out in the bright blue oilskins. The twenty-minute line up had been worth the wait. Ten was taken totally by surprise when up close, the noise so overwhelming from the thundering cascade. Sid loved the impact of its sheer power. To think this violent turbulence continued unabated night and day, three hundred and sixty-five days of the year.
Their little boat took them nearer to the American Falls, the spray chilling their cheeks as they peered through to see the huge boulders at the base. Nature's magnificence in the raw. People on the staircase at the side of the Falls looked like manikins in their yellow waterproofs.
Sid asked another tourist if she would take their photo as the boat swung around and the Horseshoe Falls came into view. It was a wonderful shot; two such happy people, all the magic of the day caught in their laughing faces. The ride was topsy-turvy, holding on for dear life at times, as the skipper took them through the narrows. The exhilaration was intoxicating, everyone disembarking on an incredible high.
Like the other sightseers they strolled along the front, popping into souvenir outlets on impulse. Ten picked out a captivating Boma carving of an otter, in black soapstone. She couldn't resist its cute expression. Sid bought it for her. Then a T-shirt stall caught their eye so, taking their life in their hands, they crossed the busy thoroughfare in short bursts. Sid chose a pale blue shirt that featured a representation of the Horseshoe Falls in a raised, white applique. Ten paid for this.
Resuming their wanderings, Sid remarked: âThe Falls are a beautiful sight in winter too. All these trees, when they've lost their leaves, become covered in ice from the spray. The shape of the trees becomes outlined in glistening white as the filigree of ice catches the sun. Then, when they turn on the lights at night, you see colored, magical trees. It's like you're in an enchanted grove.'
âOh, I'd like that,' Ten enthused, trying to picture the scene. âBut I love all the colors I'm seeing in the leaves today.' She turned to Sid. âI'm so happy, darling. Thank you for thinking of this.' She wished she could kiss Sid there and then, but this could not be. They couldn't even hold hands. Inside, she felt like shouting out to all the world: âI'm in love with this wonderful girl.' Instead, she had to content herself with giving her a special look of love, letting her eyes express all the devotion she felt in her heart.
Time to move on to Niagara-on-the-Lake. The drive took them past acres and acres of orchards, immaculately maintained.
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