Passion (14 page)

Carrie

Crazy boy has been on his
best behavior these last few days, ever since our little breakdown in the
shower.

It was kind of cathartic in a way for all that it was
embarrassing, I didn’t want him to see me like that, I didn’t want to see me
like this, it was horrendous.

My dad was being super protective and cute, it was funny to watch him,
and Joshua argue over, well everything, when they thought I was asleep they
argued over the TV, when it wasn’t that it was about the temperature in the
room.

Since I was always cold Joshua had the thermostat set on Hades,
dad was always complaining that he was sweltering.

They never discussed anything too heavy, except once dad brought
up Paula and I noticed Joshua glance at my eyes before shaking his head.

He couldn’t tell that I was awake since I barely had my eyes
cracked, but I caught the movement of his head.

Matt and Vanessa had come by and apologized, apparently some other
kids from school had tried coming by as well but Joshua turned them away.

From what I heard him grumbling to his parents, they were just
there for gossip since I never had much to do with them when I was at school
any way.

After his folks had left I’d tried reasoning with him that just
maybe they were sincere and his answer had been then they could wait until I
was home and better. I knew what was really going on in that head of his. He
didn’t want to share me with anyone.

I hadn’t quite forgiven Vanessa and Matthew which was strange
since I’d forgiven Joshua, then again he hadn’t left me any choice, he’d just
been his usual annoying self, not adhering to my wishes to leave me the fuck
alone which I think I had yelled at him numerous times those first days after I
woke up.

He’d simply told me he was keeping tabs of all my insults and will
be exacting retribution in the future.

Yeah, I was waiting to see how long his reformed self was going to
hang around, though he’d convinced me that he would never let us get to this
point again, I wasn’t for one minute fooled into believing that he would change
his domineering ways and the truth is, I like it.

It somehow makes me feel safe, if that makes me sick, then so be
it, but it’s what I’ve come to crave from him.

I love the way he tells the hospital staff ‘I’ve got that’ when
they try to do something personal for me, or the way he glowers at the
orderlies or any other male who comes within spitting distance.

We haven’t done anything sexual obviously, but this new closeness,
his arms always around me whether I’m asleep or awake; I could live with that
forever.

Josh

It’s going home day, I’m
happy and sad at the same time. Happy that she’s doing well enough to be
released, and sad that I’m not going to have her to myself twenty four seven.

In the last three of her seven day stretch in here, I found myself
just listening to her. She was a funny kid; she was also sweet as fuck with a
heart of gold.

How that happened with a mother like Paula is a miracle but I’m
glad it did. It’s as though her defenses were down and I was seeing a whole new
side to her.

I don’t think we’ve laughed as much as we did in that hospital
bed, where I held her close even while we were awake.

She’d forgiven me and I was learning to forgive myself.

I’d taken to carrying her around everywhere, when she had to go
for tests or she just wanted to walk around, the chair my dad had had provided
for her would be left sitting in the corner of the room and I would carry her
like a baby.

The
nurses all thought it was cute, I wasn’t trying to be cute, it was just the
beginning of my taking care of the lamb.

Her father came to take her
home, but my old hellion raised her head and insisted that I was to do it,
Captain who was still a little peeved at me just raised his hands up in
surrender and stepped aside.

“Joshua I won’t break just put me down already.” She was laughing
at me, we were standing outside the hospital at the passenger side of my Ranger,
and I was nervous as fuck for some reason.

“Promise me that I’ll see you every day.”

She looked at me like I had two heads.

“What, why wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t know.....” I shook my head.

“I guess I just got used to having you to myself all the time, it’s
gonna take some getting used to not being there with you, especially when you
sleep.”

“Joshua we hardly use to sleep apart before.”

“I know, but somehow this feels different, way different.”

“We’ll
be fine, now let’s go before they think something’s wrong and haul me back in
there.”

On the ride home I kept
looking at her to make sure she was okay, I kept one hand on her knee, she was
still so slender, but she’d gained two pounds and if she kept it up she should
be back to normal in a couple of weeks.

I realized what was wrong with me when we pulled up to her father’s
house.

I was scared as fuck, what if something happened when I wasn’t
there, what if she forgot to eat, who was going to mash up her carrots and play
airplane and make her laugh so they weren’t so yucky anymore?

I can’t do this, I held onto the steering wheel so tight my fist
turned white.

“Babe, you okay?”

I could only nod my head, but I was far from okay, I think I was
having a panic attack, my heart was racing, and my palms grew sweaty.

The Captain knocked on my window, when I rolled it down he just
stared at me for a while before nodding his head and with a ‘see you guys
inside’ he walked away.

I wonder what the fuck that was about.

“You ready sweetheart?”

“Yep, soon as you are.”

I walked around and picked her up out of her seat, I think this
was my new favorite thing, toting her around, even after she was all better I
think I will still do it.

Her arms around my neck felt good, everything about us felt good
for a change; maybe I was afraid it would all end now that she was home and out
of danger, maybe I was worried that we’ll fall back into the same routine
again.

Well Joshua, you’ll just have to use your genius brain to make
sure that didn’t happen.

Inside, the house was decorated with welcome home banners and
flowers, mom and Vanessa had gone crazy, there was food and drink, and presents
of all things.

“Ooh gifts, I likey.”

I guess they knew my girl after all.

I put her down on the couch and stood over her like a sentinel.
Get a grip Steele.

“Welcome home Carrie.”

They came out of the kitchen, dad and the Captain had their heads
together about something, Vanessa was a little tentative but mom was her usual
effusive self, Matt had a huge chicken leg in one hand and a can of soda in the
other.

When he spoke it sounded like growls and grunts, we all just
laughed and that broke the ice.

I would have to talk to her later about my siblings and my family’s
tradition of standing together; she would have no way of knowing about things
like that coming from a place of neglect. I’d also have to convince her that
although my family had stood with me, they’d spent every waking moment fighting
for her cause.

It’s probably the first time that I can recall where they’d been
just as mad at me as they were at the other person, if not more.

She was now a part of that so hopefully one day she would
understand.

Matt had left his blonde headed she devil somewhere per my request;
I still had to deal with her ass for some of the shit she’d pulled when lamb
and I were on the outs. I’d let a lot of shit slide before but that shit was
dead.

Her calling Josie and telling her my baby was dying so she should
make her move that was beyond inhumane, the fact that Matt was the one who
relayed that ghastly bit of information spoke volumes.

It was time to clean house.

Josh

I watched her as people came
in and out all day to see how she was doing, mostly her father’s deputies whom
I didn’t know she even knew and wasn’t too sure about, of course I sat next to
her throughout these visits, one of her hands always held in mine.

There were some elderly people from the neighborhood as well and I
could tell she was as surprised by the first group as the last, it was good
that others showed such care for her, especially at a time like this, I didn’t
begrudge that, as long as the men kept their distance.

She still tired easily so I took her upstairs after a few hours,
which made her chuckle for some unknown reason.

“What’s the joke babes?”

She sniggered as I pulled the covers up over her legs, it wasn’t
exactly freezing, but it wasn’t that warm either, I didn’t want her catching
cold along with everything else.

“You’re so transparent Steele.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not even a little bit sleepy, but you’re putting me to bed,
yeah right.”

“I
don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I ignored her and got one of
her dog eared classics and started reading at the page she’d left marked.

The girl who hadn’t been sleepy was out in minutes. Uh huh.

I had no intentions on leaving her side, but then her father came
to the door and silently beckoned me to come out.

I left my place on her bed, easing my arm from under her head so
as not to jar her awake, and followed him out the door.

I left it cracked a little just in case she woke up and needed me,
before turning to him.

With a chin lift I asked him wordlessly what was on his mind.

“What did you say to Paula in the hospital son? I need to know
because she’s downstairs again and I still don’t know what the hell is going
on, I need to know if I should be worried about my kid.”

“No, no one has to worry about Carrie; I’ve got her covered.....”

“Boy....”

“Captain, she’s mine.....”

“A few days ago you didn’t want to know her.”

“A few days ago I was pissed because your daughter and I were in a
different place, I was as much to blame for what happened as she was, but that’s
over, I’ll ask you to forget that little blip in judgment and instead remember
the two of us the way we were before......”

“I can’t watch her go through this again Joshua.....”

“It’ll never happen, not by me, not by anyone, the same cold
bastard that stood in front of you in my father’s study, that’s who’s telling
you this; no one will ever hurt her again not if I can help it.”

“She’s not as tough as I thought, to let herself come to
this......”

“She’s strong Captain, don’t doubt that, we just happen to be each
other’s weakness, make no mistake, she’s bright and sweet and tough, tough
because she had to be, now I have to find a way to show her she doesn’t need to
be any more, that she has me, us, to fight certain battles for her.”

“I’m a little lost here son.....”

“Follow me.”

I turned and went down the stairs where Paula was holding court, I
guess her little show wasn’t working too well if the sour look on mom’s face
was anything to go by.

I wonder if she realized my family was positioned in formation
around her to keep her from getting anywhere near those stairs to reach Carrie.

I
know the battle stations well; it’s the Steele way to protect first always, one
of their own.

I hadn’t planned on doing
this now, thought I would have at least a few days, but Paula seemed impatient
to get hers.

I caught the tail end of the convo and realized she was brown
nosing mom and dad.

“I’ve heard about your family of course, you have relatives in
Europe no, I think I might have met some cousins or something like that, and to
think my little girl is dating one of you....”

“Excuse us....”

“I walked over to where she sat and just looked at her; she looked
around at everything in the room but me.

“Let’s
go Paula.”

The Captain came over, I
looked at my family and communicated to them that we would be right back. mom
went back to fixing up Captain’s living room while Matt was pawing through the
pies and other baked goods the elderly ladies had brought by, Vanessa was
reading a magazine and dad was looking like he wanted to follow.

I’d fill him in later; this wasn’t my story to share, not really.

“So Paula, I asked you at the hospital what Joshua meant by the
things he said and what it was he said to you, but you brushed it off, well you’re
here now so start talking.”

Captain set things off as soon as we reached the kitchen.

“I have no idea what either of you are talking about, you can
obviously tell from this little episode that Carrie’s not well, who knows what
lies she’s been cooking up all these years, I’ve read about this, people with
these eating disorders tend to lie about everything.....”

Captain stepped between us before I could strangle the bitch.

“Say one more word against her and I promise, he won’t be able to
stop me...you lying frozen hearted hyena...Carrie’s problems are mostly because
of you, your brilliant mothering skills are mostly to blame for the way she
behaves, she doesn’t see it that way, but it’s text book.”

I turned to the Captain then.

“You want to know what I said to her, I’ll tell you.....I told her
I knew about the attempted rape, I didn’t find out about that little tidbit
until the week she left, up until then I just thought your ex was a
manipulative bitch who neglected her daughter so she could party and get
fucked, the head games were enough, but to leave her at the mercy of your
drunken boyfriends, that’s........ there are no words.”

“What, what’s he talking about Paula?”

“I don’t know, it’s like I said she made it up......”

I was in front of her before she could get the next word out.

“Joshua let her go......”

“Don’t lie about her again, you fucking beat her, starved her and
neglected her, that was bad enough but then you left her at the mercy of known
drug addicts in your home when she was fucking thirteen years old, one of the
reasons I was so pissed off at her was because she would prefer to return to
that than spend the holiday with me, at least that’s what I thought at the
time, but it had nothing to do with that, she wouldn’t have gone anywhere near
you if I hadn’t fucked up, that’s on me, but if you stand here and lie about
her again.....I’ll throw your ass in a ditch.”

“Alright son calm down...Paula what did you do to my daughter?”

She started backing up; I guess the look in the Captain’s eye was
nothing to sneeze at.

“It
wasn’t my fault okay; she was supposed to stay in her room, if she’d only
stayed....”

If she thought for one second
I was going to save her ass from him she was mistaken, I just stood back as the
Captain slapped her across her face as hard as fuck, blood flew from her nose
as she screamed bloody murder.

Dad and Matt came running and got him off of her as I stood back
thinking, one bitch down, two more to go.

This cleaning house shit was going to be a fucking breeze, too bad
I had to deal with the shit when I should be concentrating all my energy on
getting my lamb better, I guess it’s two birds with one stone. After this I’m
sure there’s no way in hell the Captain would ever let Carrie anywhere near
Paula again. My little mercenary will just have to find another way to pad her
account in the future.

I
left them downstairs to deal with their mess and headed back to my girl, I had
a lot of shit to do in the next few days, Xmas was in a couple weeks, I wanted
this shit over and done by then. She was still asleep when I crawled back into
her narrow twin sized bed with her. Sighing softly, she curled into my side as
I held her.