Perilous Light (21 page)

“
I do not know what the purpose is yet. For now, I’m satisfied knowing that he is someone who cares for you deeply and would do anything to protect you.”

“
And why did my kiss make him a Guardian?”

“
Growing up, I was never allowed to spend much time with any boys but my brothers. Everyone assumed I would be the Essence, since I had no cousins and Ruth felt a new Essence was due. I complained about it to Ruth once, and she told me about the fear that a physical relationship between a future Essence and a boy of the right age could influence the makeup of the Guard. I always thought it was just an old myth, but you may have just proved it true.”

“
Wow, you really only spent time with your brothers? I can’t imagine if Kevin were the only one I could socialize with.” I may not have been the most social person in the world, but even I needed to get out sometimes.

Mom laughed. “My brothers were not too bad, and I did not know any different. But when I talked about feelings, I did not mean just the kiss.”

“
Then what did you mean?” I felt uncomfortable, afraid of the direction the conversation might move.

“
Charlotte, honey, you have had a crush on Liam since you were a little girl. You are not going to sit here and deny it, are you?”

“
You knew that?”

She laughed. “It was pretty obvious, sweetheart. You followed him around like a puppy, and those Barbie weddings…” She shook her head.

“
Do you think he knew? And Kevin?” I was mortified.

“
I doubt it. I think they were clueless. I am sure the kiss shocked Liam quite a bit.”

“
You could say that. But then again, I didn’t see him for three years afterward, so I don’t really know his reaction.” I shuddered, thinking of how much I had worried about that kiss while we were in Alaska.

“
That crush never disappeared, did it? You still felt something when you came back after being away, right?” She looked at me expectantly.

“
I guess I did. But really, I only saw him for a week or so before meeting Calvin, and then nothing else compared.” I absently pulled at a loose piece of string from the quilt.

She smiled. “And something tells me that you and Liam got closer during the year when you were apart from Calvin.”

“
Mom, nothing happened. We were friends; my feelings are for Calvin.” I started to feel funny. She wasn’t exactly accusing me of doing anything wrong, but I didn’t like it.

“
I know that, but that does not mean you do not have feelings for Liam. Of course, you will not act on them, and I trust he will not, either. He seems acutely aware of your position with Calvin.” She paused. “Well, and he is probably terrified of your brother’s reaction anyway.”

“
Mom, Liam and I are just friends. Just like James is just a friend. His kissing me meant nothing and—”

“
James Mendel kissed you?” The look of shock on her face reminded me that she didn’t know about that yet.

“
It wasn’t a big deal. We were out, and this guy was hitting on me, and when I asked James to get him to leave me alone, he kissed me.”

“
Real subtle.” She seemed aggravated, but not exactly mad.

“
That’s just James. He does impulsive things just to annoy me sometimes.”

“
I agree with you there. And I trust your instincts, so I will trust him. I do not believe we should judge a man by his father, but that kind of behavior reminds me of Blake.”

“
What? James is nothing like Blake!” I had raised my voice, and I hoped no one else could hear me. I felt so guilty about the unexplained doubts that lingered every time I thought of James that I jumped to defend him even faster than usual.

“
Blake was not always the way he is today. He was never the nicest boy. As I explained, he was a lot like James. He was no Liam or Calvin.” She gave me a small smile, and I could feel myself blush.

“
So he was once something other than evil?”

“
Of course. I do not know of anyone who is born evil. He was actually a good friend of both your uncles.”

“
I still can’t believe you have another brother I knew nothing about.” I didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but I couldn’t just pretend that I wasn’t bothered by how much she had hidden from me.

“
It was too complicated. Honestly, would you have believed me?” She watched me intently, searching my eyes for something.

I thought about her question. “Probably not. I would have thought it was just another one of your fairy tales…” I stopped, unable to quite accept the realization that she had tried to tell me the truth in the only way she could without putting us in danger. How had I not put two and two together before?

“
Wait. All those stories you used to tell us before bed, they were real, weren’t they?” My head filled with memories of stories about a princess who lived in an old castle.

“
Well, they were partially based on the truth. I never fought dragons.” She laughed and her whole face relaxed. She looked more like the mom I remembered.

“
So, when did Blake change?”

“
After I became the Essence. He was upset that he was not my Gerard, and he grew darker.”

“
Darker how?”

“
He was more sullen and became determined to figure out why certain people became Guardians and others did not. It was all very awkward because his best friend was my Gerard.” She sighed.

I could tell she was thinking about her Gerard. I couldn’t fathom losing Calvin; even our time apart hurt horribly. “I’m sorry, Mom. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been. Do you still miss him?”

“
Yes. I do not think one ever gets over that sort of loss, but in the end, I was lucky enough to meet your father. Having you and Kevin has been the most wonderful experience in my life. I would not trade my family for anything—even my Gerard.” I could feel her hurt, but I knew she was speaking the truth. I hadn’t thought about it before—how Kevin and I only existed because Mom lost her Gerard.

“
Do not worry about that. You and Calvin are reunited, and I can tell that he makes you happy. I really did not mean to suggest anything by bringing up your feelings for Liam. I only wanted to explain the difference between Energo and how you were raised.”

“
I love him, Mom.” The words flowed out quickly. I had never told anyone but Calvin that.

“
I know. I can see it in your face, and I can feel it.” She stood and rested a hand on my shoulder. “With that thought, I think it is time that we both get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow.” She tucked me in like she used to when I was a little girl and kissed my forehead. “Goodnight, Charlotte.”

“
Goodnight, Mom.” I slipped off into one of the best sleeps in ages.

***

We left early under a hazy sky. A cool mist made it difficult to see beyond ten feet. Mom didn’t need to ask if I was the one who had created the weather conditions; she just smiled.

“
Do we have you to thank for the cover?” Calvin wrapped his arm around me again, and I snuggled into his side, content to be back with him. I wasn’t certain if my abilities were better because I was with Calvin and my mom, or if it really was all about the confidence, but it felt good to be useful.

“
Yeah, it was me. Isn’t it nice to have an Essence around? I just hope someone has a good sense of direction.”

“
It’s more than nice, and I am glad to see you still have your sense of humor.” He leaned down to kiss me lightly. Calvin and I were finally together again, and I couldn’t get enough. Any lingering anxiety over how little I knew him was alleviated after talking to my mom. When I allowed myself to really feel like the Essence—to really feel at home in Energo—I accepted that our bond was natural.

We discussed strategy as we walked. I had finally learned to use more of my abilities, which would be a huge help, but we still needed numbers. We hadn’t heard from Kevin, so we had no idea how his mission to recruit the other Pact nations had gone. I was confident. I couldn’t imagine my brother failing at anything. The nervousness bubbling inside of me was all about my part. I knew I had the potential, but I still had to use my power in the heat of battle. As James had pointed out at Icentris, I couldn’t afford to hesitate. Seeming to sense my unease, Calvin pulled me in closer, and I let myself relax.

When we stopped for lunch, Calvin led me to the side. “Would you care to eat lunch on our own?”

I smiled. “Absolutely.” Mom overheard the exchange and waved for us to go ahead.

After eating a quick, nearly tasteless lunch, Calvin and I lay down in a grassy clearing. I leaned my head on his chest and listened to his breathing and beating heart. The reunion with my mother had temporarily distracted me from how amazing it was to have Calvin fighting on my side.

“
What are you thinking about?”

I thought about picking my head up to reply, but I was just too comfortable. He started running his fingers up the sides of my arm, and I was beyond relaxed. “I’m just so happy that you’re here.” I left out the part about him finally coming to his senses and joining the Resistance.

“
My thoughts exactly.” He rolled me up on top of him. Pleasantly surprised by his playful side, I looked down and kissed him.

“
You’re not going to ever leave me again, are you?”

“
If I remember correctly, you are the one who left me.” He sighed, but I knew he wasn’t really mad. “Not that you lacked a good reason.”

“
It was hard to leave. It took all the strength I had. It’s hard to fight what comes naturally.”

“
Did you just call our relationship natural?” He watched me intently.

“
Yeah, I think I’m done pretending otherwise.” I gave him a coy smile, and he pulled my head down to his, and our lips locked. It felt so good to get lost in his embrace again, to feel his arms around me, and to know I didn’t have to be alone.

“
I am sorry to interrupt, but we need to get moving.”

The heat rose to my face as I realized that Lawson had been watching us. I moved off of Calvin quickly, but he pulled me back down so I ended up sitting on his lap, facing him.

“
Thank you for letting us know. We will be just a minute.” Calvin held me to him for a few moments longer, then looked at me with a smile. “You are adorable when embarrassed.”

I swatted at him in a failed attempt to hit him. I was still overwhelmed by the kiss and from being found in such a compromising position. “You enjoyed that, didn’t you?”

“
What? Kissing you? Of course.” He gave me a wry grin.

“
You know what I mean.”

“
Charlotte, you are my Essence. We are supposed to be together. I had to wait a year to enjoy the greatest benefits of being the Gerard, and I will not be embarrassed by it.” He kissed me lightly on the top of my head before standing, then helping me to my feet.

I was still a little lightheaded when we went to meet the rest of the group. I hoped Lawson hadn’t reported the position he found us in, but that prospect was doused when James raised an eyebrow and Mom gave me a secretive smile.

I ignored their hints and said, “Okay, so let’s get going.” It was time to return to the Resistance.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Charlotte

The moment we entered the fern grotto, five soldiers with swords surrounded us. In a swift movement, Calvin pushed me behind him.

“
That isn’t necessary.” I said to the soldiers. Calvin held me back as I tried to step around him.

“
I understand he is your Gerard, but he supports Blake,” one soldier said.

“
He is no longer with Blake,” Monty responded.

“
Do you agree to vouch for him until we reach Theodore?” the soldier asked.

“
Yes, let us pass.” Monty didn’t wait for the soldier to move out of the way. He pushed ahead, making the man jump to the side.

Calvin tensed beside me, so I squeezed his hand. I understood that returning with us to the Resistance couldn’t have been easy for him.

“
Sweet mercy, Emma!” Theodore pulled my mom into his arms. We stood back a little in an attempt to give them privacy. The reunion between Mom and Monty had been emotional, but nothing like the one we were watching. I guessed the difference was that she and Monty had parted on good terms.

“
Hello, Theodore.” Mom smiled with a look of pure happiness.

“
I am so sorry, Emma. Can you ever forgive me?” Theodore shook with emotion, looking as though he might fall to his knees.

“
I already have, Theodore, years ago.” Mom put both her hands on his face. “I heard you have a daughter the same age as mine. When can I meet my niece?” She sure knew how to defuse a situation.

“
Tara is in the dining area with Owen. I would show you back but—”

Monty broke in, “Don’t worry. I am sure Charlotte would love to see Tara as well, and she can introduce Emma.” I could tell that Monty was trying to get rid of me, but I wasn’t ready to go quite yet.

“
I’ll stick around a little longer.” I left no room for argument.

“
If you insist.” Theodore stiffened before turning his attention to Calvin. “How can I know for sure that your change in allegiance is true?”