Personal Possessions (32 page)

“That’s not what I asked
you, whore!”

Bear yelled at her, I
jerked to a standstill. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
Elle’s voice was trembling, she was terrified. I needed to keep my
wits about me so that I could catch everything he was saying to
her. Did he just call her a fucking whore? Oh, I’d make sure he’d
pay for that. I wanted to throw the door open and threaten Bear
with death, something I should’ve done the other night…

The other night came into
my head. What had happened out in the alleyway. Did he take that
out on Elle, everything that had happened between me and him the
other night? Was that what the bruises were from?

I couldn’t go there. I
couldn’t think like that. There was no way he would ever lay a hand
to her, if he knew what was good for him he wouldn’t.

“Bear, I’m not out whoring
around, can you please stop calling me that?”

“Listen here, you nasty
pussied whore-“

Hear him call her that was
it. I couldn’t take any more of this fucked up shit. I was beside
myself; numb. Bear, I had come to know was not the man I knew from
elementary school, even from high school. Even though he had
changed, Elle hadn’t. Whether he had changed or not, we had known
Elle all of our lives. He knew she was selfless and genuine. Never
would he have had a more loyal companion and he threw it all away
on a stripper crack addict. As soon as Elle caught wind of me, she
took the phone off speaker and put it to her ear. I think she
thought I was unaware of her whole conversation.

Elle looked at me with
pain and sorrow in her eyes. She knew I heard it as shame and
humiliation washed over her face, she knew now that I had heard how
he was talking to her. She quickly, put my index finger to my mouth
trying to silently ask me not to say anything. She could see my
anger rising and could tell that I was about to lose it. I tried to
look at things from another perspective, I tried to step away and
say that the two of them had to deal with this, I was not a part of
this, but that was until I heard Elle’s voice, silently begging and
pleading and Bear walking all over her.

I couldn’t get it out of
my head that he had called his wife a “whore…a nasty pussied
whore.” The woman who was heavy with his babies, who gave him
offspring. The woman who I would’ve given anything to see pregnant
with my own. I was infuriated at the image I was painting in my
mind, when he said that he would beat her so bad-

That was it, I couldn’t
listen anymore…I had to walk away. I was going to lose my fucking
mind all over this hotel room and he would hear every last word
that would come out of my mouth, and not only did I worry about the
safety of Elle but now, I had to worry about the safety of her
children and whoever they were staying with.

“Bear, you were
out….wherever you were and I wasn’t sure if you would be home, so
they’re staying with Lilly.”

…Lil’s and Curt’s
safety.

I couldn’t hear what Bear
was saying but suddenly as I was walking into the kitchen, I could
feel the air get thick as I heard Elle’s voice turn frantic; terror
was visible in her stance.

“
NO!!....No Bear, please
don’t do that! Lilly and Curt have been planning so much with the
kids, and you know how much Austin looks up to Luc, he was planning
on teaching him some of your best football plays. JoJo, Harlee and
Lilly were planning on going shopping. It’s fine, they wanted to
stay over there and they have plenty of room. You just enjoy your
time alone, go out, have a good time…”

I couldn’t hear anything
that was being said since all that I was aware of was my heart
racing. The thumping was so loud, it drowned out everything that
surrounded me. Not only was I infuriated at how Bear was talking to
Elle like she was a piece of trash; like the piece of trash he
loved and adored that he was fucking on the side, outside a nasty
drug-infested titty bar, but also, how Elle cowered to him. She
took what he had said to her and bore it; she owned every name he
called her.

That wasn’t the Elleny I
knew. My girl would’ve pushed up against him and told him to suck
her dick! I wasn’t even sure my Elleny existed anymore. Why
wouldn’t she have just filed for divorce and kicked that dumbass
out to the curb. Maybe she had grown to love being treated like the
victim. Hell, it had been seventeen years, people become different
people in less time than that.

I couldn’t see that…I
wouldn’t allow myself to see that. Elle had bucked up to me in the
last three days, what was so different between her doing it to me
and her doing it to him. Then I began to think…

I haven’t laid my hands on
her.

I closed my eyes, I
couldn’t bear the thought. I leaned over the sink so sure that
whatever content I held in my stomach, wanted to make itself known
again. I swallowed a couple of times and attempted to calm myself
as I heard Elle’s voice trembling.

“
Just give me a moment,
would ’ya, please.”

I couldn’t get that voice
out of my head. She sounded so desperate, so inconsolable. I didn’t
know how to act or even what to say, so I didn’t answer
her.

Thoughts and memories of
my own parents ran through my mind. The emotions that my mother
showed seemed so existent, so real; even after all these years. It
was as if I was laying in that bed, hearing that familiar, frantic
voice of my mother’s coming out of Elle’s mouth.

“
Luc”

I wondered who Luc was.
Was he a friend, with Bear holding her on such a tight leash, I had
a feeling she didn’t have many friends.

“
Hey my sweet angel
baby.”

Her son, that’s who Luc
is.

I didn’t realize it but I
was pacing back and forth between the dining room and the kitchen
as she spoke. I didn’t know whether to call Kip and have him keep
Bear under constant surveillance or just allow Elle to handle it.
It wasn’t really something I had to think over very much, I made a
mental note to call Kip and keep an eye out, especially since Bubba
was threatening Bear.

“Hey baby, do your momma a
favor this afternoon, no practice, I call coach. Just get in Auntie
Rachel’s car, pick up JoJo and Harlee and go back to Auntie’s
house, k?”

My hatred for Bear grew
deeper and deeper at the thoughts of what he has put his children
through.

“Baby, I’m
fine….everything is wonderful, my love. Just do this for me? Send
me some pics of ya’ll swimming this evening, ok? I will video
conference ya’ll before I go to bed so that I can kiss you good
night.”

I loved hearing how Elle
interacted with her kids. You could tell in her tone the
astonishing love she felt for him, not only in her voice but in her
words. God, how things would’ve been different if that was my son.
He wouldn’t have any worries, he could be a kid, concentrate on his
football and not have to worry about looking over his
shoulder.

I walked out into the
living room to check on Elle, even if I could be there for her just
for support, I knew she needed someone on her side. Her eyes met
mine and they almost brought me to my knees. The twinkle that I
fought so hard to put back in her eyes was completely extinguished.
There was no sign of it anywhere. Nothing but tears and utter
heartache filled where once the brightest of lights could be found;
a light that was built from a fire that illuminated not only Elle’s
eyes but her whole being; that light was what made me fall in love
with Elle. It drew me to her.

The fire was smothered out
by that motherfucker…Bear.

It seemed as if time stood
still, I couldn’t think, move or even feel. My mind was filled with
images of nothing but violence. There was nothing more that I
wanted to do then to take this all away from her, make it all go
away and give her the life that I know she wanted and
deserved.

I heard footsteps
approaching behind me.

We stood there for what
seemed like hours but turned out to be just minutes. I waited…hoped
that she would begin the conversation by explaining to me what the
fuck was going on, what was going on and at least allow her to put
some of what she has carried for god only knows how long on me, but
deep down inside, I knew that was not going to happen.

Even though I knew
everything now, she still was going to pretend that nothing had
changed. This made my anger flare even more. I didn’t know whether
to turn around and face her or just continue to stare a hole in the
open cabinet that was right in front of me. I decided I couldn’t
take the silence anymore.

“
What the fuck is going
on, Elle?”

I was trying with all my
might to hold back the emotion that was raging through me at the
moment. This anger wasn’t directed at her…I was pissed off at the
whole situation that she and her children were put in.

“Let’s go, TJ”

“We’re not going
anywhere!!!!!”

I turned to face her and I
exploded. I couldn’t hide it anymore. She needed to know that all
this bullshit…everything that Bear had done or said to her was
going to be brought out in the open today, nothing more was going
to be hidden from me.

“I heard that whole
fucking conversation Elle, did he fucking call you a
whore?”

My voice was low and I
know that I scared her, I didn’t want too but she had to know I was
serious. She had to realize that I was going to do whatever I had
to so that her and her children were safe.

Elle attempted to turn her
back on me and walk out of the kitchen.

“NO, NO, NO…..you don’t
get to walk away from this, Elleny. Don’t you fucking dare close me
out!!! You don’t get to decide what I get to know and what I don’t
get to know!!!”

Immediately, Elle turned
around and got nose to nose with me. I didn’t know whether to kiss
this all away from her or hear what she had to say.

“You don’t get to decide
what you get to know and what you don’t! You don’t want me to close
you out? You don’t know how many times I have been raped by that
man, how many abortions he’s made me go through! How many times he
has beaten me so bad that I haven’t been able to stand up, sit down
or even lay down. Nothing! You want to know…my throat? It’s sore
because he came home to me just the other night while I was
sleeping and held me down by sitting on my chest while he face
fucked me until I cleaned off every bit of his bitches juices! The
reason I need to go to the doctor’s is because I need to find out
if I have Hepatitis since he decided to fuck her up the ass too and
shove that down my throat as well!!”

I know my face had to be
pale and blank…I couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing. I
didn’t know how to respond. She said “the other night” and the
first thing that came to mind what the fight between Bear and I. I
caused this, I made him go home and do this to her. I did know one
thing though, Bear was going to pay for what he’s done to
her.

Her voice brought me back
to the conversation.

“You wanna know, you’re
gonna know!” Elle held up her wrists in front of my face as she
stated, “These…are from him tying me up with his leather straps and
abusing me so bad, he ended up tearing tissue internally! He’s beat
me so bad, Lilly couldn’t even help clean me up, there was so much
blood, she thought I was dead…and that wasn’t even the worst time!
You wanna know what my tattoos are? The “Remember” isn’t about
remembering anything about is, it’s a promise…a vow to myself, that
no one will ever love you the way you deserve to be loved. It means
remember to keep your heart locked heavily away and don’t let
anyone touch it…ever!!!”

Elle pointed to the one on
her right wrist and I could see remorse wash over her. “This one is
the most important advice anyone has ever given me, it says you can
have my blood, you can even have my sweat…but you will never get my
tears!!!”

She was gasping trying to
bring oxygen into her lungs…making herself breathe. Tears were
streaming down her face, she couldn’t hold back anymore and I was
pleased that she felt that I was a safe place for her to show her
venerability to…that’s what I wanted; I longed for to be that
someone for her again. She was so brave to have gone through what
she’s gone through.

I didn’t say anything, I
couldn’t say anything. I was dead inside. I remembered seeing her
that day speaking with the older woman and the look that was on her
face, what I was so mistaken about…her happiness. She beamed that
day, I could remember it as if it was yesterday.

Elle was screaming
directly at me and I heard the words, but it didn’t sink in. I had
to think about what she said several times, because there was no
way she could’ve said what it sounded like she said.

“I’m broken, Trevor…I’m
tainted and I will never be repaired!!!”

I couldn’t hear anymore.
Those words had ripped open that what Elle had just healed, I was
mortally wounded by the confession she had just laid on me. Never
in my life, would I have thought that of Bear. I started putting
the pieces of the puzzle together.

Lauren popped into my
mind, the pictures that she showed me of Bear tormenting that
stripper on the side of the building came to my sight. The story
she told of when he cornered her in the office that night of the
party…the terror that covered her face…he hit her too.