Plain Paradise (27 page)

“It will happen again.” Josie turned her head away from everyone, and Linda was sure they were not telling her something.

“Does Robert have his cell phone over there? I’ll go give him a call.” Uncle Noah stood up and pulled his cell phone from the pocket of his white doctor’s coat.

“Yes, he does.”

“He wasn’t near any of the trouble, was he?” Noah took a few steps toward the other side of the room.

Josie was still facing away from everyone, and Linda saw her wipe away a tear. “No. He wasn’t near there.”

Linda wasn’t sure what to do.
What is happening
? Her uncle walked into the next room. Linda could hear him talking but couldn’t understand what he was saying.

“Here, let’s get you cleaned up.”
Mamm
squatted down beside Josie on the floor. Josie wiped her hands, covered with sauce, on her blue jeans, then covered her face with both hands. “I’m sorry, Mary Ellen. I’m sorry for everything. I should have never . . .”

Normally, if someone was crying,
Mamm
was the first one to offer comfort, but
Mamm
just sat there and seemed unsure of what to do. Linda knelt down beside her mother.

“Josie, it’s all right.” Linda grabbed her hand and squeezed at about the same time her mother wrapped an arm around Josie. Together,
Mamm
and Linda pulled Josie to her feet.

“Linda, why don’t you clean up this mess, and I’ll help Josie upstairs to get some fresh clothes on.”
Mamm
said it in a tone that meant there’d be no argument. Linda nodded.

Mary Ellen kept an arm around Josephine’s waist as they headed up the stairs. Josephine grasped the handrail with one hand and draped her other arm across Mary Ellen’s shoulder. Mary Ellen could feel her struggling to pull herself up the steps with each heavy step they took. Josephine kept mumbling how sorry she was. For everything.

“Are you sure you didn’t get cut by all that glass in the kitchen?” Mary Ellen paused on the step when she felt Josephine leaning on her even more. Josephine took a few moments to catch her breath, then shook her head.

“No. I didn’t get cut.” She sighed. “I’m just really tired.”

“Can you keep going?”

Josephine nodded. “I think so.”

Mary Ellen tightened her hold around her and edged them upward.

When they walked into Josephine’s room, Mary Ellen couldn’t believe her eyes. She hadn’t really noticed the downstairs too much with all the ruckus going on, but now that things had settled down a bit, she took in her surroundings. She’d been in plenty of
Englisch
homes over the years, but nothing like this. Why in the world would anyone need all this?

Mary Ellen cringed when Josephine sat down on the bed and smeared what appeared to be spaghetti sauce all over her blue bedspread, even getting a little on one of the white throw pillows. But she didn’t seem to care. Josephine wasn’t crying anymore. Her expression was blank as she stared into the far corner of the room.

“I never should have come here.” She turned to Mary Ellen. “This is all going to be too hard on Linda, and it was selfish of me to want to get to know her. Selfish of me to put her through all this.”

Mary Ellen didn’t say anything.

“But now I don’t know how to undo it.” She shrugged. “I guess Robert and I could just leave, and—”

“And leave Linda hanging, thinking her mother abandoned her?” Mary Ellen stared hard into Josie’s eyes. “I don’t think that’s an option at this point.”

“Then what should I do, Mary Ellen?” Josephine threw her hands in the air, then slammed them down beside her. “I’ve already said how sorry I am about everything.” Then Josephine started to cry again. Mary Ellen sat down on the bed beside her. Her own dress was covered in sauce anyway.

“I just want to protect my daughter. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.” Mary Ellen felt her own eyes watering, but she was not about to let herself cry. “We are going to have to tell Linda about your—your condition at some point. But today is not that day. She has been through enough for one day.”

Josephine sniffled. “I agree.” She stood up. “I’m going to go get cleaned up. You can go downstairs if you want. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“I’ll wait for you.” Mary Ellen met Josephine’s eyes. “In case— in case you need help or feel ill.”

“Thank you.”

Mary Ellen glanced around the room after Josephine went to the bathroom to change. So many things. So many things she has exposed young Linda to. Mary Ellen shook her head. Then she just waited. Wondering. Worrying.

“Okay.” Josephine came out of the bathroom wearing a fresh pair of blue jeans and a pink pullover shirt. She stopped in the middle of the room. “I guess I better go see when my husband will be home.” But she didn’t move, and instead started to tear up again. “I hate this. I just hate it. I hate all of it. If there is a God, He wouldn’t let all this happen!” Then she dropped to her knees right there in her bedroom, as if she could no longer carry the weight of her situation. Mary Ellen put her hands on her chest and wondered if she’d heard correctly.

She walked to Josephine, who was sitting on her heels, covering her face with her hands. “I have no hope, Mary Ellen. Do you know what it’s like to face death with no hope?”

Mary Ellen dropped down beside her. “Josephine, what are you saying?”

Josephine uncovered her face and brushed away tears with only her left hand. Mary Ellen could see her right hand twitching in her lap. “You heard me, Mary Ellen. You can add that to your list of reasons to hate me.”

“That’s not fair, Josephine. I never said I hated you.” Mary Ellen took a deep breath. “These are hard times for all of us, but I never said—”

“It doesn’t matter.” She lifted her head, then stood up, sniffling, struggling to gain control of her emotions. “I miss my husband very much. Let’s go downstairs. I want to know when he’ll be home.”

Mary Ellen followed Josephine downstairs. How could anyone face death and make such comments? It was the saddest thing she’d ever heard.

When they got downstairs, Linda was scooping up the last of the broken glass and Mary Ellen heard Noah telling Linda how he knew Josie, that he was friends with Josie’s husband.

Noah walked toward Josephine. “Josie, there’re more problems in China. Robert is fine, though.”

“What? Did something else happen? More attacks? Robert said he was far away from everything.”

Mary Ellen was thinking that this woman really couldn’t take any more today.

“No, nothing else happened, but the airports are closed indefinitely for those who aren’t citizens, those traveling with a passport.”

“What?” Josephine looked like she might collapse again. Mary Ellen stepped toward her but stopped when Linda rushed to Josephine’s side.

She watched her daughter—
their
daughter—put her arm around Josephine. “It’s all right. We’ll figure something out. I’ll stay here with you.”

Mary Ellen’s eyes welled with emotion at the nurturing kindness in Linda’s voice. And she knew right away what she needed to do.

She raised her chin, folded her hands in front of her, and spoke directly to Noah. “Josephine will come and stay with us. In our home.” She swallowed hard, then glanced at Linda. A smile spread across her daughter’s face. Josephine, however, was staring at Mary Ellen as if she’d lost her mind.

“Mary Ellen, I don’t know if . . .” Noah’s brows furrowed as he spoke. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Absolutely not,” Josephine interjected.

“Why?” Linda was quick to ask. Mary Ellen watched her daughter gaze at Josephine with eyes that begged her to reconsider. “You can stay in my room. I have two beds. It would still be like a sleepover, but at my house.”

“She’s right.” Mary Ellen moved toward them. “It makes the most sense. Until Josephine’s husband gets home, she should stay with us. She can still . . .” Mary Ellen looked down for a brief moment, then faced Josephine. “You can still get to know Linda, and there will be several of us around so that you are not alone, just in case this should happen again.”

“Mary Ellen, can I talk to you outside?” Noah’s voice was firm, but Mary Ellen didn’t care. She knew that this was the right thing to do for all concerned.

“Of course. We can talk outside while Linda helps Josephine pack a few things.”

Josephine moved away from Linda, walked toward Mary Ellen, and faced her. Mary Ellen couldn’t tell if she was angry, relieved, or a combination of some other emotions that Mary Ellen wasn’t familiar with.

“Mary Ellen, I appreciate the offer, but I—”

“Do you have a better one? Offer, that is,” Mary Ellen asked in a challenging tone.

Josephine just stared at her. Speechless.

“Scoot. Both of you. Go pack while I go talk to Noah.” She turned around. “Noah, let’s talk.” She marched out of the kitchen and into the living room. Or den. Or family room. Or whatever this oversized room filled with unnecessary items was.

“What is it, Noah?” Mary Ellen folded her hands across her chest.

“You have no idea what you are getting into.” Noah shook his head. “It’s noble what you’re trying to do, Mary Ellen, but if Josie is starting to have seizures, she is going to start going down quickly. Are you really prepared to take care of her? What if it’s weeks before her husband can get back?” Noah leaned closer and whispered. “Not to mention, that no one in this charade has told Linda that Josie is going to die.”

“The Lord will guide us, Noah. And I believe this to be His will.”

Noah put his hand on his hip, then ran a hand through his wavy dark hair.

“You need a haircut.” Mary Ellen smiled at her brother.

“Seriously, Mary Ellen. This could be a huge undertaking if her husband doesn’t come back soon. I will give you some literature that explains all about seizures and what to do if she has another one, but the best thing to do would be to call 9-1-1 if Josie begins to exhibit any symptoms that another seizure is forthcoming.” Noah shook his head and sighed. “This is too much for you, Mary Ellen. Maybe after a day or two with you, you can convince her to call her mother. I understand from her husband that they don’t have a relationship. He told me once that her parents forced her to give up Linda for adoption, and she never forgave them. But who knows . . . there might be more to it than that. At this time in her life, I would think that she needs her family.”

“Linda is her family, and in that respect, I reckon I will have to be her stand-in family.”

Noah leaned over and hugged her. “You’re a
gut
woman, Mary Ellen.”

“
Ach
, I see you still speaka the
Deitsch
sometimes,” she teased.

“
Ya
. I do.”

She stayed in Noah’s arms, his words lingering in her head . . .
You’re a gut woman
. She hadn’t felt like a very good woman lately. And maybe inviting Josephine to stay at their home was a mistake. But one thing bothered Mary Ellen far more than her own troubles.

If there is a God, He wouldn’t let all this happen. I have no hope, Mary Ellen.
Do you know what it’s like to face death with no hope
?

Josie loaded clothes into a red suitcase while Linda sat on the bed and waited.

“What do you think your father will say about me coming to stay?”

Linda stretched her arms behind her and leaned back. “I reckon it’ll be just fine with him.” She nodded her head with confidence and smiled.

Josie smiled back at her, even though she wasn’t convinced. “I’m surprised that your mother asked me to come stay. But it’s very kind of her.”

“
Mamm
is wonderful. You’ll love her cooking too.”

Josie looked down at her suitcase. “I think that’s probably all I’ll need.” She zipped it closed, then sat down on the bed beside Linda, away from the splattered sauce. She put her hand on Linda’s knee. “I’m sorry about today. We didn’t get to eat lasagna, and I didn’t get to hear about your day with Stephen at the creek.” Linda smiled again. “We’ll have lots of time to talk since you’ll be staying in my room.”

“Sure that’s okay with you?”

“I’m sure. It’ll be fun.” She giggled. “You don’t snore or anything, do you?”

Josie chuckled lightly. “Robert says I do sometimes.” Then she thought about Robert being so far away, near all the chaos. “I hope he’s all right.”