Playground (17 page)

.

a.m

“Are you sure you can drive, sweetie? I’d love for you to stay.

We can have breakfast at the Polo Lounge in the morning.”

Hayden wraps his arm around me and I immediately throw

it off.

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“Listen, sweetie, I’m not impressed by your B-list celebrity sta-

tus. I’ve been going to the Polo Lounge since before you got off the

airplane from Iowa. I’m sure you’re a great lay, but let’s not waste

any time. Call me when you’re ready to be my boy-toy,” I say, ap-

plying Chanel No. 5 lipstick.

The next day, I’m in the med room having a late lunch with Austin,

Tobey, and Charlie, who are wearing leotards and magenta head-

bands. Kendall is in the foyer talking to a girl I’ve never seen be-

fore. I eavesdrop on their conversation.

“I’m in town for a few days. We should definitely get together,”

says the girl, moving closer to Kendall.

“Whatever, Jet Set,” Kendall says flirtatiously, playing with her

wraparound skirt.

“You know I’ll make time for you.”

“You should,” says Kendall. “I miss you.”

Kendall runs her fingers over the girl’s stomach.

“I don’t think of girls in that way anymore,” she says, smiling,

batting her lashes.

“Me either. It’s so gross,” Kendall confirms as the girl slowly

clasps her fingers around Kendall’s gold mesh belt.

I look away, unsure of exactly what I’m feeling. By the time I

glance back, they are gone. Curious, I excuse myself from the table

and hurry into the foyer, taking a left toward the bathroom. The

door is slightly ajar and through the crack, I can see their reflec-

tion in the mirror.

Kendall and the girl kiss, sexual energy swirling around them.

I am fascinated.

Kendall’s kiss from the night before enters my mind. The

flames of jealousy flicker through me for a second. Averting my

eyes, I leave before they see me.

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Playground

Days later, Hayden and I pull up to the wrought-iron gates and I

introduce myself to the gigantic rock outside the Mansion. A cam-

era in the trees turns in my direction.

“It’s Jennifer Saginor.”

“Hi, Jennifer,” greets the familiar voice. “Who do you have with

you?” the voice asks.

“My favorite new boy-toy, Hayden,” I say, pulling him by his

hair and playfully pecking his lips.

We drive up the scenic driveway and Hayden’s eyes widen

when the castle comes into view.

“See, honey, isn’t this better than the Polo Lounge?”

A valet takes my car.

I lead Hayden through the foyer and out to the backyard,

showing him off like a prized trophy. He holds my arm and looks

around wildly at all the commotion, the flowers, the flamingos,

and the Playmates. As we roam the grounds, feeding the mon-

keys and birds, I see Kendall watching us from a window up-

stairs.

When I look up, she places her hand on the stained glass as if to

say hello.

Hayden and I make our way over to my father, who’s talking to

three topless girls by the pool. Dad introduces Hayden to a few

Playmates when Kendall, now standing by the outdoor bar, waves

me over.

I leave Hayden as Kendall takes my hand and drags me to a

nearby pathway where no one can see. We end up ducking into the

Playmate of the Month’s house, where we drop onto the bed.

“So, is that your new boyfriend?” she asks, turning to face me.

“No, just my new fuck buddy. Why?” I ask, with a half smile.

“No reason.” She shrugs, sounding aloof. “I’m just . . . concerned.

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He looks dangerous. Like he has diseases or something.” She licks

her bottom lip.

“Dangerous?” I ask, thinking of Hayden’s angelic pretty-boy

face.

I look at Kendall strangely.

“Are you high?”

“Dump him.”

“What’s the matter with you?” I laugh.

“I don’t want to see my girlfriends being played by some

player,” she says seriously.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to be played by anyone.”

“All right, well, I was just checking,” she says, offering me a cig-

arette, drawing out our time together. We smoke, giggling and

leaning into each other.

“You know, you’re really not so bad. You’re actually kind of

cool sometimes,” I tell her flirtatiously.

“Sometimes? Gee, thanks,” Kendall laughs.

“You know what I mean.”

“So are you.”

Kendall pushes her shoulder into mine. We smile at each other

as she grabs my hand and leads me into the backyard.

Later that night, Hayden and I watch movies on my big-screen

TV. Cuddling underneath the sheets, we feed each other popcorn.

Hayden touches my arm, running his fingers down my thighs. He

kisses my neck, draws my mouth close as my lips melt into his. He

undoes my bra, slips off my shirt, and grazes his fingers over my

breasts. I unzip his fly and touch him. My hands find his warm

chest and slowly pull his shirt off as he leans his body against

mine. I close my eyes and Kendall’s face appears out of nowhere,

looking at me with an all-knowing smile.

Startled, I jerk my head back. What the hell is going on?

“Is everything all right?” Hayden asks.

“Everything’s great. It’s wonderful.”

I kiss him with no emotion as he runs his hand across my

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Playground

stomach. He gently squeezes my nipples and Kendall’s face reap-

pears, shining radiantly. Eyes closed, I smile back at her.

“Kendall,” I sigh.

“Kendall? Who’s Kendall?” Hayden asks.

I snap out of my daydream, open my eyes, and see Hayden’s

brows raised.

“Light a candle,” I say, trying to cover up.

I reach for a votive, my hands shaking as I light it.

I feel like I’m tripping.

Hayden grabs me and I kiss him playfully. He pulls off my

underwear and our bodies are now naked, rubbing against each

other.

“I think I’m falling for you,” he says.

“Me too, honey. Just focus. Do you have a condom?” I ask.

“No,” he answers.

“I’ll be right back.”

I throw on a robe and run down the hall to Dad’s bathroom,

where I grab a few condoms.

Hayden and I fuck softly then roughly. I straddle him from on

top. I can tell I’m turning him on and the sense of power excites

me, driving me higher and higher as he begs for more.

I can’t help but compare Dad’s view of women to mine of men.

My conditioning sets in and I critique his impeccable features, his

perfect abs, and tight ass. Then another part of me recognizes men

as disloyal, selfish pigs who must be punished.

I pull him in close, ride him hard, hate him intensely, and fuck

him senseless. He deserves it. He loves it. His desire and hunger

throw me into orgasm. Ten minutes and a cigarette later, I tell him

it’s time for him to leave.

The next morning, I lie in bed thinking about why thoughts of

Kendall kept popping into my mind while I was with Hayden. The

phone rings and I leap up to answer it.

“Hello?” I say.

“Hey, baby,” Kendall says.

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“Kendall?” I ask, surprised.

“Who did you think it was?” she asks.

“Oh, I was expecting a call from someone else.”

“Does that mean you’re not happy to hear from me?” she toys

with my head in a sweet little voice, covering up her hint of disap-

pointment. “Why don’t you come up here?” she asks. “Your father’s

by the pool with Hef and the guys, and I’m sitting here with no

one interesting to talk to.”

“Maybe next time,” I tell her.

“Come on, we’ll have fun. We can play a game.

“Yeah, I heard you’re into playing games.”

“Only with you, sweetie,” she claims with conviction. “Seri -

ously, I did just get the new highest score on Pac-Man.”

“What?” I leap off the bed. “You did not beat my highest score

on Pac-Man!”

“Hey, champ, it’s hard to keep up if you’re not around,” she says,

drawing me in, knowing precisely how to divert my attention away

from myself—not that anything is keeping me at home anyway.

There’s something new pulling me toward the Mansion and it

is no longer my father. I have shifted alliances.

Fifteen minutes later, I race through the foyer in tight nylon

parachute pants, a shiny turquoise jacket, and two blue-and-white

striped wristbands. I find Kendall waiting for me at the bottom of

the staircase, grinning from ear to ear. Grabbing her hand, I drag

her out to the game room, tugging at each other playfully like best

friends.

After a few games of Pac-Man, Kendall’s name is now in fifth

position and she is passed out on the couch.

“Let’s order drinks,” she suggests, while I’m still preoccupied,

maneuvering the joystick, truly satisfied as it gobbles up the last of

the little dots.

“For sure—I’m ready for my champion’s cocktail,” I swing

around, all smiles as Kendall walks into the carpet room and plops

down on the comfy pillows.

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She grabs the phone and orders two pitchers of strawberry

daiquiris from the kitchen. We turn on the television and channel

surf. Within minutes, the butlers arrive with our pitchers. We clink

glasses and stare at ourselves in the mirror above. I catch Kendall

looking at me and I smile back. She reaches slowly for the re-

mote and my arm tingles as she strokes her fingers over mine. A

strange, warm sensation moves through me. She clicks on the

Nature Channel.

“Will you rub my neck?” she asks innocently.

I look away, shy.

“Oh, come on—it’s just my neck.”

“I know,” I answer nervously.

I’m aware that I should probably not be here, but instead of

leaving I pour myself another strawberry daiquiri.

Kendall pushes her hair to the side as she leans against me, un-

clipping her lacy bra. I run my hands over her arms, shoulders, and

neck. Her skin is soft and warm. My fingers tingle every time I

touch her. She gets really into it, letting out sighs here and there,

and I feel this unusual, intense energy between us.

“I’m going to lie down, ’k?” she asks and I don’t answer.

I’m apprehensive, yet I don’t stop.

She turns over onto her stomach and leans against the pillow.

“Don’t you miss having a mother around?” she asks out of

nowhere.

I nod, full of feelings I cannot express. Little does she know, the

pain of not having my mother is far worse than anything I have

ever experienced.

“I’ll be your mother,” she whispers, playing with my fingers,

my hand. What’s always fascinated me most about Kendall is how

she talks to me. It’s as if she can read my mind. When Kendall

speaks to me, she answers questions I have not asked. When she

looks at me, I feel safe and cared for. When she takes my hand,

leads me down a path, I eagerly follow, wanting nothing more

than her love and approval.

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Her absolute beauty is compelling in its flawlessness, its per-

fection.

I quickly look away.

When I look back, she is still there, only closer. My breathing

becomes erratic. I cannot speak. A rush goes through me. We look

at each other with a deep, meaningful stare. My heart pounds. I