Please Don't Tell (24 page)

             
My mom pulled up and blew the horn loudly. I picked up my bags and stormed past Ethan. I grabbed the front seat, huffing as I stepped inside.

             
“What’s with you?” My mother asked as she took a sip of her Dunkin Donut’s coffee.

             
“Nothing.”

             
Ethan hopped in the back and handed my mother a CD to put on. She put in and when it started, I pushed the XM button. “Can we listen to normal music for once?”

             
“Okaaay,” she said unsure of what was going on. I saw her sneak a peek through the rearview mirror at Ethan. “Sorry, Ethan. It looks like we’re going to be listening to the top 10 country hits instead.”

             
I snorted. Loudly.

             
The car ride was filled with my mother talking about work, drilling us about school and if Ethan had made any new friends.

             
I chimed in, “Yeah, he’s a big hit with the girls all right.”

             
“Really? Did you meet someone Ethan?”

             
“Yeah, I did. Problem is she won’t talk to me anymore, Charlotte.”

             
She glanced over to me. “Someone I know. Let me guess. Is it Ava? I always loved her. She’s so pretty and sweet.”

             
I snorted again.

             
I could almost hear him smiling in the back. “No. It’s someone else. Not ready to tell yet. Sorry.”

             
“Oh, that’s fine. Whenever your ready I’d love to meet her.”

             
“You’ll be the first. I promise.”

             
I glanced over my shoulder with a WTF look, then turned back to my mother. “It’s Heather Flowers. You remember her, right?”

             
There was an awkward silence, then she just said, “Oh.” She knew we weren’t friends since I spent years crying on her shoulder about all the horrible things she’d done to me.

             
“It’s not Heather, either. We’re just friends. I’m allowed to have friends aren’t I?” He said with sarcasm dripping off his tongue, strictly directed right at me. My answer was complete silence and the mean glare to the side window for the remainder of the trip.

             
One extremely awkward day later, my mother had gone into town shopping and I headed down to the docks with a fishing pole in hand. My Dad, Austin and I would come down here every year and catch sunnys and rock bass with little bits of ham. We used it for several reasons. I hated touching wiggly worms and salt ham worked best. We couldn’t keep them, so we’d just toss them back into the water. We would always swear the same fish were being caught over and over again. Still, it was fun and relaxing.

             
I heard his footsteps on the metal dock before I saw him. He stopped momentarily, then sunk down next to me.

             
He laughed. “You fish?” He smiled, as he took a seat next to me.“This might be something I need to see.” He flopped over on his stomach and stared into the water. I jerked the rod up to see a small fish as it dangled from my line. Ethan reached back for the net and scooped the fish up. “You got one,” he said, surprised.

             
“I’ve been fishing since I was four,” I said, as I reached for the line and grabbed the fish out. I stood and pinned the fish to the dock and pried out the bloody hook before I tossed it back in. “My father thought of it as a bonding experience. Besides, I don’t remember inviting you to fish with me.”

             
Ethan nudged me playfully. “Quite a big fish you caught.”

             
“Tease me all you want. I enjoy it.”

             
Ethan shook his head, but stayed silent.

             
Looking around the evergreens were still green, the buds on the trees had started to pop out.  Daffodils and tulips were poking their tiny heads through the mulch. I smiled, taking it all in. Even though the temperatures were finally rising above fifty, you could smell the aroma of a fireplace burning somewhere.

             
“God, don’t you just love that smell?” Somewhere not too far away someone had a warm fire burning.

             
Ethan twirled toward me with an unreadable expression.“I have my question for the day.”

             
I casted my rod back in and focused on the water. “I don’t want to play that game anymore.”

             
He kept going and said, “Are you ever going to forgive me?”

             
I pulled my rod out and cast it back in. “Why should I Ethan? Give me one good reason.”

             
He face looked relieved that I was even willing to listen.

             
“It was just an essay. An essay I didn’t think would ever get past the teacher. We were told to write about someone in our lives that had changed us in some way for better or worse.” He paused, then grabbed my free hand, but I yanked it back. “Please, Sophie I need to get this out right now, I feel like I’m gonna break if I don’t.” He stopped and by judging the ‘I’m waiting’ look on my face he continued, “That person that I wrote about was you, because you, Sophie, you’ve changed me. I was living in complete hell, a black hole before you. Pete, my Mom, Aunt Anna all tried, but nothing really worked. When I saw you again last summer, shite!” His head sunk into his hands. “I’m not doing this right.” He looked back at up, reaching over he took the rod and placed it down next to me then gently lifted my chin.  “I’m just going to say it. Sophie, I love you. I think I started to love you way back in Green Park. Do you remember?”

             
I nodded and he scooted closer when I didn’t say anything.

             
“You were twelve and I was thirteen. Our Mums packed a picnic and you wore that little white sundress. Your hair flowed all the way down your back and you wore that silly little pink ribbon that I’d made fun of. I looked over at you and the sun was coming down just right and your eyes lit up when you looked out to some geese playing in the water. Right then, I froze. I know I teased you all the time, but I couldn’t figure out how you couldn’t tell.” He swallowed. “Then you looked at Pete and your eyes lit up again, so I backed off. He was my best friend and I thought it was what he or you would have wanted.” He shook his head and let go of my chin. “We were so young and I thought it was impossible anyway. Me in Australia and you in the States, so, I never said anything. I know I was always a part of your past, but I don’t want to be anymore, Sophie.”

             
I didn’t know I was crying until I felt my own tears hit my mouth.

             
“Don’t cry over me. You’ve been fixing me little by little everyday until this.” I wiped my eyes with my sleeve when he paused. A second later he said, “God, can you please forgive me.”

             
Instead of answering, I lifted my mouth to his and kissed him.

             
             
             
             
             
Chapter 23

             
Valerie still wasn’t talking to me, or looking at me for that matter. It was one of the school’s annual Famous BBQ events to raise money for the school. I knew she would be there since she’d volunteered earlier in the year. That would be my chance. She couldn’t very well walk away from a fundraiser. Right?

             
Ethan waited at my locker with his head in a book as I approached. “Hey,” I said. He looked up and pushed his book inside his bag. “Hey yourself,” he answered then pulled me toward him and planted a huge kiss on my mouth. I got a little lost as our lips pressed together until I heard the whispering of people as they passed. I looked over my shoulder and glared.

             
“How are those granny panties working for you, Ethan?” Heather bellowed with her arms crossed.

             
“Ignore her, Sophie,” he whispered to me, but turned to Heather and he said, “piss off Heather.”

             
She huffed and pouted her lips before she’d storm off, but whipped around. “I was done with you anyway.” She stalked off as her friend grabbed her arm and pulled her away from us.

             
“Sorry,” Ethan said as he pushed off the locker. “So, you want me to come with you to talk to Valerie?”

             
“No. I gotta go though, so I’ll just see you at home,” I said as I tried my hardest not to frown. He took his fingers and placed them on my lips and turned them up into a smile. “Much better. Good luck with Val.”

             
I stood on my tiptoes and pecked his cheek. “Thanks.” I walked off toward the cafeteria determined to talk some sense into Val and make her forgive me.

             
By the expression on Val’s face when I walked through the door, I could tell she was still mad as hell. The only bonus was the fact that she acknowledged my presence. In my eyes, that had been a start. It was something. It just had to be.

             
“Hey,” I said, adjusting my book bag. “Can we talk, please?”

             
She fiddled with a spoon. “What?”

             
I moved closer and took a deep breath. “Looks good.” I inched my way closer and dropped my bag onto the floor. I stepped up to her anxiously, and tugged off my fleece. “Can you use some help?”

             
She reached down, grabbing a spoon and handed it to me, silently.“Val, I am so so, sorry,” I said, as she turned her back to me. “Please, Val. Look at me.”

             
I had already walked around and started to stir the pulled barbecued chicken around when she threw her spoon down. “How could you not tell me?”

             
I placed my spoon down, too. I reached over, forcing her to turn and face me. “You know how much our friendship means to me.  You see, this is why I didn’t tell you. This was exactly what I was afraid of. I knew that this was going to happen. I just wanted to avoid it.”

             
She grabbed a napkin from the box on the side table.“You really hurt me, Sophie.”

             
“I know and I’m really sorry. I will never ever keep a secret like that again.” I held out my hand, and held out my pinky in her direction. “Pinky swear.”

             
She frowned, but wrapped her pinky around mine. “Okay. I believe you and the only reason I’m forgiving you is because I missed you. Well, and because Matt’s just not worth it.”

             
I threw my arms around her neck and hugged her closely. “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

             
She pulled back. “It’s no big deal. You know I couldn’t stay mad at you forever. I’m not about to let some jerk like Matt get between us.” She smiled then said, “Seriously though...er Sunday through Monday undies. Do you really wear those?”

             
I laughed out loud. “What? Don’t knock them until you tried them.”

             
She laughed, too “What are you like five still?” She hugged me back. “Now start stirring that chicken before it burns.”

             
We were friends again. Bestie’s as she liked to call us. I smiled, unable to erase the grin on my face, thrilled to death to know that she didn’t hate me anymore.

             
“You’re not going to believe what I have to tell you,” she said, as she did a little happy dance as she stirred the meat. “Guess who asked me to prom?”

             
Just like good old Val. She bounced right back into the swing of things. Prom. I’d completely forgotten about it. I stood back remembering Ethan’s moves on the dance floor. Damn, that boy could move. I wondered how he’d looked getting all dolled up to go. I imagined my dress, his tux, slow dancing with those amazing biceps wrapped around me.

             
“Soph,” She said, waving her hand in my face.

             
“Oh, sorry. I have no idea. Who?”

             
“Do you remember hottie Nate from my Bio class?”

             
I nodded.

             
“He called me last night. Just like that, out of the blue. Oh, my God, I was dying to call you, but...” she shrugged, “as far as you knew I was still pissed, and I was waiting for another apology.” She shrugged.

             
“So, you’re not upset about Matt and the breakup.” I asked.

             
She waved me off. “Pff, not even giving him a second thought. He’s a total shithead.” She didn’t need to clarify that one. That was true.

             
“Are you and Ethan going?”

             
“I don’t know. I kinda forgot about it. Besides, if we go together my mom might figure out what’s been going on.” I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

             
“You so have to go. We can double date. Ooh...ooh...ooh... we could get a limo and everything.”

             
For the last several days she wouldn’t even take my calls and now it was like nothing ever happened. So like Val, to just blow everything off like it was nothing. I wish I could be so forgiving. I wanted to kill Matt.

             
“I’ll let you know as soon as I do.”

             
The fundraiser had come and gone, successfully. There really wasn’t a question about it. We held two every year and raised a ton of money.

             
I had gotten home just after six and the house appeared empty. I yelled out, but no one answered. Strolling into the kitchen, I glanced at Austin’s goto calendar of events. The day had already been crossed off, but I noticed Austin had been at his karate lesson. I reached into the refrigerator and grabbed one of the flavored water bottles and sighed. I assumed and hoped that Ethan would have been here to find out the verdict. He wasn’t. I’d eaten at the fundraiser so I shuffled my way into the family room and turned on the television. The garage door opened an hour later.

             
“Sophie?” My mother yelled out.

             
“In here, Mom.”

             
Austin ran in first and grabbed the remote off the couch. “Hey, I’m watching that,” I snapped, and grabbed the remote back.

             
“No way. Mom said I can play a game while she makes dinner.” He whined, “Mommm...Sophie won’t let me play.”

             
I chucked the remote down. “Where’s Ethan?”

             
He shrugged. “In the kitchen.”

             
I worked my way in to join them. Ethan had been bent over peering into the fridge. “Hey, guys.”

             
He turned and winked in my direction which caused me to stop in my tracks. I had quickly looked over to my mother who was plugging something into her phone. She held her hand up, gesturing me to wait. Ethan walked over to me and stood very close. So close, goosebumps appeared on my forearms. I shot him a panicked look, but he’d just smiled before sitting.

             
“How did it go with Valerie?”

             
“It went great. Everything’s okay.”

             
“I knew she’d forgive you. You look happy.”

             
My mom looked up. “What about Valerie?”

             
“It’s nothing. We had a silly fight.”

             
“Good. What do I always tell you, Sophie? True friends are very important and will be forever. I mean look at me and Anna.”

             
I nodded. “I know Mom.”

             
“Good! Now that that’s settled. Should I just order a pizza?”

             
Ethan pushed out of his chair and stood. “Actually, I’d been thinking of walking to Starbucks. Sophie, do you want to come?”

             
My eyes must have bugged out of my head when he asked. He shook his head, but my mother just looked at me and said, “You should go, Sophie.” Then she turned to Ethan. “That’s nice of you to ask. I’ll just save some pizza for you when you both get back.”

             
“I ate already,” I said to my mother. Then turned, trying to hide my facial expression. “Yeah, let’s go for a walk.”

             
We’d barely made it three houses when he reached down and tucked his hand into mine.

             
“So, how bad was it?”

             
“It wasn’t bad at all. I apologized--she accepted.”

             
He lifted our hands and kissed mine. “I’m happy for you.”

             
We rounded the corner to make our way into Starbucks. We both ordered a chai latte and found a huge comfy leather chair in the corner. He sat down, tugging me by my jeans onto him. I shifted to move, but he gripped me. “Relax, Sophie. No one will see us.”

             
I gave the store a once over and relaxed into him. His hands smoothed my hair back and he leaned closer, exhaling into my neck. His warm breath trickled down my neck forcing me to catch my own breath. He whispered, “I missed you today.”

             
“Did you go to Austin’s karate class?”

             
“Hmm. Oh, no I had Charlotte drop me at the mall. Then she grabbed me after.”

             
“What were you doing at the mall?”

             
“Just doing something.” He raised his eyebrows and smiled. “You’ll see later.”

             
Great! He’d probably felt the need to stock up on my lacking underwear drawer so people couldn’t make fun of me anymore. We sipped our lattes as we made our way home. They were cold now, but it didn’t matter.

             
“Sophie, what’s wrong?” Ethan asked, five minutes later.

             
“Forget it.” I mumbled.

             
He stopped and pulled his hand back. “But, you have to.” He stood staring down at me then pushed my hair out my eyes. “It’s my question of the day.” He smiled and kissed my nose.

             
I wanted to say pass like he had before, but I didn’t.  I still wanted his real answer, I didn’t want to upset him again. I already had my best friend mad at me for days, the last thing I needed was for him to get upset with me.

             
“It’s nothing, really. I just wanted to know why you wouldn’t answer my question from the other day. You remember the one?”

             
His smile vanished and he turned to start walking. “Another day. I promise.”

             
Once my house had come into view I dropped his warm hand from mine. “Thanks for the latte.”

             
He’d given me a quick sidelong glance. “Anytime.”

             
Ethan finished off the leftover pizza in no time flat while we all watched television together. Sadly, for all of us that meant one of Austin’s Nick Teen marathons.

             
Once Austin and my mother made their way upstairs and called it a night, I settled in with Gossip Girl. Ethan had gone upstairs to finish some homework about fifteen minutes into my show, which left me alone.

             
Deep in thought or maybe even a trance, I had felt his eyes. I glanced over my shoulder, Ethan had stood in the hall studying me.

             
I turned the television down. “What are you thinking about? And, no passes, it’s my question.”