Polkacide (3 page)

"Who will organize the
annual Polkapourri festival that has become an institution for New
Krakow and the entire tri-state area?

"And who will manage Polish
Lou Enterprises now that Polish Lou is gone?" Basil stopped reading
aloud, though his eyes kept scanning the page. He got a funny look
on his face, a kind of smirking frown, like he wasn't sure he'd
read the letter correctly. Then he shrugged, nodded, and gazed out
at the crowd. "I'll tell you who!

"
She
will!" With that, Basil swung an
arm around and pointed directly at Peg.

The drum roll ended with a
rim shot, and the crowd cheered like crazy. Eddie Sr. and Eddie Jr.
played wild strains on their accordions. In front of the stage, the
kids spun and jumped and gyrated like human popcorn in their little
suits and dresses.

Glancing at the Furies, I
saw the three of them looked more thoroughly disgusted than ever.
One thing they all had in common and shared with me was an undying
hatred of Polish Peg.

As for the Clown herself,
she beamed and waved with pure delight. If I hadn't known any
better, I might've thought she'd just won the Miss America pageant
or an Academy Award.

Clapping politely, I turned away and
looked for the best place to step down from the stage. The crowd
was slightly thinner by the corner, so maybe that would be a good
exit point.

Just as I took a step toward
the corner, Basil called out behind me. "And
she
will, too!"

I swear, everyone in the banquet hall
gasped at once. Except me.

"That's right!" said Basil.
"I'm talking about
you
, Lottie!"

At the mention of my name, I spun to
face him. "Me, what?"

"You're the
co-queen
of Lou's
kingdom, that's what!" Basil lunged over and grabbed my arm, then
hauled it high like I'd just won a prize fight. "Ladies and
polkamen! Meet the new rulers of Polka Land! Lou's own daughter,
Lottie..." Basil grabbed Peg's arm and hefted it overhead alongside
mine. "...and his partner, the love of his life, Polish
Peg!"

The crowd went berserk. Cameras
flashed in my eyes as Eddie Sr. and Eddie Jr. launched into "Hail
to the Chief" on their accordions.

Dazed, I leaned forward and
looked past Basil at Peg. The look on her clownish face said it
all.

She was as surprised as I was. And
just about as happy.

Which, let me tell you,
wasn't happy at all.

Chapter 5

Three hours later, the shock was still
setting in. So was the unhappiness.

Mom and Baba Tereska knew
it, and they cut me some slack. The three of us sat outside that
night, side by side on the squeaky glider on Baba's front porch. It
was a perfect opportunity for the mother/grandmother tag team to
nag me to the brink of insanity--but for once, no one hassled me
about my poor choices or need for improvement. We were united by
our mutual loathing of our common enemy.

"I can't imagine dealing
with that woman on a regular basis." Mom snorted and shook her
head. She still wore her black dress from the funeral, though the
veil was gone from her face. "It would be
torture
."

"
Worse
than torture." Baba Tereska
smacked my leg with her withered right hand. Her raspy voice
crackled with raw hatred. "More like going to
Hell
for all
eternity
."

Mom nodded and scowled.
"
Worse
than
Hell."

I couldn't argue with them.
"What was Dad
thinking
? Why on Earth would he put me and Peg in charge?"

"Ask his
mother
over there." Mom leaned
forward and gestured with her elbow at Baba Tereska. "Ask the woman
who brought his sorry ass into the world."

"At least I didn't
marry
him." Baba
snickered and bumped me with her bony shoulder. "If
anybody
understands his
twisted mind, it's the woman who helped
twist
it."

I couldn't help smiling. Mom
and Baba had an unconventional relationship; they were closer than
most ex-wives and mothers-in-law I'd known. They also rode each
other mercilessly, especially when it came to Polish Lou--but the
abuse was always good-natured.

"Maybe he was trying to be
fair." Mom pushed the glider back and forth on its metal track,
gazing up at the stars. "Instead of just leaving everything to
Peg."

"If he'd wanted to be fair,
he wouldn't have left his
wife
and
family
for that
floozy.
" Baba banged her knobby knee
against my thigh.

"Maybe he wanted to force us
to accept her." Mom reached up and patted her dark brown hair,
which was wrapped in a bun at the back. She'd started coloring it
since the last time I'd visited, about a year ago.

"Forget it." Baba jolted the
glider to a stop. "He
knew
we'd
never
accept Miss Peggy." She laughed harshly, then
started moving the glider back and forth again.

"The heck with Peg." I
fiddled with the black clutch purse on my lap, wishing it were full
of cigarettes. "What about
me
? Why would Dad pick
me
?"

Baba Tereska gave me a funny
look out of the corners of her icy blue eyes. "Maybe he thought
you'd be
good
at
it. Managing a
business.
"

"Like the nightclub you and
Luke have in L.A.," said Mom.

The mention of that place
made my stomach knot up in my belly. There was a lot they didn't
know about my club. A lot I didn't want to think about. "Since
I
live
in L.A.,
how could Dad expect me to work with Peg back
here
?"

Mom shrugged. "Maybe he was
hoping you'd move back." Her voice trailed off; she'd been after me
for years to give up L.A. and move back to New Krakow.

"Well,
that's
not gonna happen." When Mom
and Baba slid the glider forward again, I jumped off, leaving
behind my clutch purse. I felt like I needed some breathing
room.

"But it won't be forever,"
said Mom. "The will stipulated one week."

"One week too many." I
muttered the words to myself.

"It's just until
Polkapourri," said Mom. "Then you can run off again if you want
to."

Standing at the top of the
front steps, looking out at Baba's scrappy little yard in the
moonlight, I sighed. When it came to using guilt as a weapon, Mom
had no equal.

She was right about the
will, though. The "co-queen" arrangement wasn't designed to be
permanent. Peg and I had to work together for one week, during the
busiest time of year for Lou's polka empire. Just one week, till
the 25
^th
Annual Polkapourri Festival was over, at which time we could
go our separate ways. At that point, if we chose, we could pick
someone else to take our jobs and keep things rolling.

Or we could cash in. We could
liquidate the empire and split the proceeds fifty-fifty.

That was an outcome that
appealed to me in a big way. Except for the part about working with
Polish Peg for a week.

"I don't think I can do it."
I said it over my shoulder without looking back at the women on the
glider. "Even if I could stay in town for a week, I don't think I
could take her for that long."

"You can do anything you put your mind
to," said Mom.

"If
we
can go
fifteen years
without
killing
Miss Peggy," said
Baba, "I think
you
can manage
one
week
."

Without thinking, I started
chewing on my left thumbnail...then caught myself. It was a habit
I'd fallen into since quitting smoking. Better to nibble a nail
than light up a cigarette, right? Though I had to admit, both the
spirit and flesh were weak that night; if someone had handed me a
lit cigarette, I would've sucked it down to the filter in one
breath right then and there.

"I just don't understand."
Turning, I leaned against the white wood pillar at the top of the
steps and frowned at Mom and Baba. "Why did Dad pick me? Why not
one of the other girls?" I was talking about the three Furies, who
were all at Mom's place with the ADHD Dozen at that
moment.

"Why
not
you?" said Mom.

Baba cackled. "He probably
didn't
trust
any
of those sorry specimens to
handle
it."

"Hey!" Mom grabbed Baba's
spindly shoulder. "Those are my
daughters
you're talking
about."

I started to nibble my
thumbnail again, then pulled it away. "It's like he's
punishing
me for
something."

Suddenly, Mom and Baba both
got up from the glider. As they closed in around me, I felt the Tag
Team springing into action with their old school full-court
press.

"Who
cares
why he did it?" Baba grabbed my
wrist and shook it. "You have an
opportunity
here, girlie."

"A chance to set
things
right
." Mom
placed one hand flat against my chest, over my heart. "You can make
things right for
all
of us."

Baba let go of my wrist and
reached up to pat the back of my head a little too hard. "There's
nothing wrong with putting your family
first
sometimes, you
know."

"If you
love
them," said Mom.

"The way
you
do." Baba scrubbed my scalp with
her bony knuckles.

I looked from one woman to
the other, about ready to scream. The Tag Team's tactics hadn't
changed much over the decades; they had a way of putting on the
pressure till they got what they wanted. Though I was thirty-five
years old, I felt more like ten.

"I believe in you, honey." Mom smiled.
"I know you can do it."

"And you won't be
alone,
kochanie
."
Baba Tereska leaned in and planted a dry kiss on my cheek. "We'll
be helping and advising you every step of the way."

"How can you fail?" said
Mom.

"You can't possibly screw this up,"
said Baba.

"It's a golden opportunity," said
Mom.

"Once in a lifetime," said
Baba.

Suddenly, I crossed the
threshold of not being able to take any more. "Enough!" With an
exasperated cry, I pushed away from both women, then spun and threw
up my arms to keep them at bay. "What if I don't
want
to do this? What
if
my
life has to
come
first
this
time? My life with Luke in L.A.?"

"Like the will says." Baba
shrugged and coughed. A lifetime of heavy smoking had left her with
a permanent wet cough and the early stages of emphysema. "No one in
New Krakow will get a thing. Not you, not the family, not even Miss
Peggy. The lawyers will sell it all off and ship the proceeds to
Polish orphanages."

I let out a heavy sigh and
slumped. I was so sick of dealing with the situation, I couldn't
stand it.

The more I thought about it,
the more trapped I felt. Trapped because the family needed me...and
also because Polish Lou's plan was the answer to my problems. As
much as I hated the idea of working with Peg, how could I walk away
from this chance?

"I've got to go." Snatching up my
black clutch purse from the glider, I unsnapped the catch and dug
out my rent-a-car keys. "I'm totally exhausted."

"Do you think we're done talking about
your new job?" said Baba Tereska. "Have we talked some sense into
you?"

"Yes, we're done," I said. "And no,
you haven't talked sense into me." With that, I marched to the top
of the porch steps, which Mom and Baba were blocking. They stood
their ground for a moment with arms folded and eyes
narrowed.

Then they parted to let me
through. I hurried down the four cement steps to the front walk,
already relieved to be clear of the Tag Team. For now.

Halfway down the cracked,
uneven walk, I turned and waved. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mom. I
have to take care some things first. I'll try to call around
lunchtime."

"Don't worry about me,
Lottie Leigh," said Mom. "You do what you have to."

I felt a pang of guilt. Mom
only trotted out my middle name when she was playing emotional
hardball.