Pretending Hearts (30 page)

My mom was shaken up by my decision to no longer have my dad in my life. In her mind, blood bonds should never be broken. But I was starting to believe I did have a say in who I wanted as part of my family. Sometimes cutting away the weight tied around your feet was the only way you could find the strength to swim to the surface.

The family I chose finally surrounded me and I couldn’t be more content.

“Do you realize I can get paid millions of dollars for endorsements? I hope your boyfriend’s band appreciates the free press,” Blake said in a droll tone.

Autumn elbowed his side. Blake gave her a mock-wounded look. “He’s kidding. He loves the band.”

He gave her an exasperated look, but offered a cheesy grin as I pointed the camera in his direction. I zoomed out to make sure the shot got the Trojan Jedi logo on Blake’s t-shirt.

“Can you give me the thumbs up sign?” He narrowed his eyes and I gave him a sly smile in return. “What? How are putting pictures of you on Trojan Jedi’s website any different than you telling a bunch of tweens to drink some crappy sugar-loaded sports drink?”

He obliged and I kept him posed until I was certain I had a few good shots. I gave him a wink as I finished. “You’re not the most photogenic but I’m sure I can find something to work with.”

Blake put on an annoyed look, but I knew he wasn’t serious. He’d been happier than I’d seen him in a long time. Football season was over and although the Warriors were eliminated early in the playoffs, I had a feeling he was okay with it. He was glad to be back in Fairfort with Autumn, planted at her side until practices started up again in the summer.

I invited Blake, Autumn and Casey to Levi’s show at the Bronze Horseman. The bar had a reputation for being a launching place of several big name bands and I couldn’t be more excited. Levi seemed embarrassed by the idea of success and his sincerity made me want it for him all the more.

Casey came up from behind us and passed out a round of drinks. Swiftly, Blake confiscated mine out of my hands. Casey rolled her eyes. “Preston, you’re such a killjoy. First, you steal my roommate and now this.”

Blake had let me keep his apartment on a permanent basis. He found a larger space for himself and Autumn in a high-rise building across the street from the college. He eventually wanted to buy a house, but planned to wait until Autumn finished school.

Blake was fighting me, but I insisted on taking over the rent payments for the apartment. I decided not to return to college for the spring semester and didn’t want to continue being financially dependent on him. Leaving Cook was a tough decision, but I had come to realize photography was more than a hobby. I never wanted to be in front of the camera, but I embraced being behind it.

“I don’t need the drink. But you can offer it to Cole before he goes on stage. He asks about you every time I see him,” I said with a suggestive lift of my eyebrows.

“It’s about the chase. He probably has hundreds of girls willing to say yes to him, but he’s hung up on the one who’ll say no,” Casey said and coiffed her pink-streaked blonde hair.

“I thought so too. But Levi says he hasn’t been partying after their shows and Evan calls him whipped,” I said.

“No, Evan says he’s pussy-whipped,” Evan’s voice said from behind me. I turned and saw him and Levi. Evan hoisted his thumb at Levi. “And so is this one. He wanted to see you before the show. I came along to make sure his ass gets on stage on time.”

Levi shook his head, but still grinned at me. I mirrored his expression and although I could hear the voices around me, I was only focused on him. I felt bowled over by how one person could have such a physical effect on me. Levi thought he was unassuming, but he had no idea how the air thickened when he walked into a room. Or how my skin erupted in gooseflesh each time his hazel eyes gleamed in my direction.

“Kick ass up there,” I said softly.

“I will. Because I know you’ll be watching.”

“And if you get nervous, just picture everyone in their underwear.” I giggled. “Well, maybe just me.”

Levi leaned in close and whispered into my ear. “I’ll just think about seeing the real thing after the show.”

***

His promise made my body crave him for the entire concert. As I watched him on stage, I kept picturing his strong arms wrapped around me as we fell into a tangled heap onto my bed. When we finally ditched our friends after the show, I knew the reality would be much better than the image in my head.

The night had been planned for months. We waited for sex and I was glad for the time to recover from the past. My body needed time to mend as well and once my period returned, I had started taking birth control pills. I also wanted to get comfortable with Levi. I had an irrational fear that after Wyatt, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy sex again. Levi proved me utterly mistaken. Levi was a laidback guy outside of the bedroom, but when we were alone together, he knew exactly how to push my buttons. Sex hadn’t happened, but he still had the ability to make me scream his name night after night as I became lost to sensation.

His hands were everywhere before the front door of my apartment was closed. He would touch me just lightly enough that I squirmed each time he pulled away. Levi was adept at discovering how to touch me in ways that drove me wild. I wanted him. I wanted every perfect moment to be shared with him.

His kiss was magnetic and I felt unable to pull away from his mouth. He lifted his shirt over his head and I helped him toss it aside. My eyes roamed down to the perfect v-shape starting at his waist and disappearing into his loose-fitting jeans. Levi had an incredible body and each time I saw him with little clothing, I became tongue-tied.

Once the shirt fell to the floor, his lips reconnected with mine. My hands were greedy as I held onto him—feeling each lean muscle grow tense under my fingertips. My hand stilled above his waistband and his hand covered my own as I undid the button on his jeans. Before he could remove them, I leaned in and kissed his neck before slipping my tongue inside of his mouth once again. I cupped his erection and I could feel him grow with need. I stroked him through the fabric and he moaned into my mouth as our tongues continued to dance.

His palm snuck under my shirt and covered my left breast. He ran his thumb over my nipple as he fondled me. When I couldn’t take the barrier any longer, I shed my t-shirt and bra. “You are incredibly beautiful.” He pushed aside my blonde hair and whispered into my ear.

I rubbed the scruff on his cheek and said, “I love you, Levi. You’ve waited for me and it only makes me love you more.”

“I love you, Delia Bridges,” he said, “and I would’ve waited forever if that’s what it took.”

My hands drifted lower and I pulled down his loosened pants. He stepped out of the jeans and his briefs and stood before me completely naked and vulnerable. I wrapped my hand around the base of his erection and took a second to revel in the pleasure of how he felt. I pumped my hand slowly up and down and I smiled as I saw his faraway expression. He closed his eyes and let out a groan as I pumped at a steadier pace.

“Take off the rest of your clothes,” he said, his voice thick with desire. He opened his eyes. “I want to see all of you.”

Although it pained me to do so, I moved my hand away from him. I pulled down my pants and underwear as his eyes stayed trained on me. His fingertips brushed my lips and then he leaned in for a kiss. When he pulled away, he grasped my hand and led us to my bedroom.

I fell back on the bed first and grinned at him as I leaned back on my elbows. I used my forefinger to gesture him closer. He sank down in front of me on his knees. He placed a hand on each knee and lowered his head down between my legs.

Immediately, I tilted my head back as his tongue swept across my opening. He planted a gentle kiss on the spot and then another lick. His mouth was relentless as he kissed and sucked me. Each moan he made as he went down on me reverberated through my core. I cried out as the pleasure became too much to take. Tightening my hold on his shoulders, I was overcome with my raw need for him.

“Stop,” I gasped. My back arched off the bed as I felt his mouth leave one more brand on me. “I need to finish with you inside of me.”

He gazed up at me between my legs and I could see the questioning look in his eyes. He wanted the connection—for us to finally be together—but he needed assurance I was with him on this.

He saw something in my expression that told him I was ready. He got the condom ready and my heart began to race with excitement. I kept my legs wide as he returned and he moved into a position that left his tip at my opening.

My body was accommodating as he pushed inside. Levi was large, but he felt like the perfect fit inside of me. There was no awkwardness or discomfort. When he entered me, I felt like we were connected in the most natural way possible.

“Oh christ, Delia,” he murmured. “You feel amazing.”

I sighed in reply since I couldn’t form words at the second. I was on the cusp of becoming undone with him inside of me. He started to move and my body erupted into flames. I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted the fire to burn eternally because I’d never felt more physically and emotionally alive.

We found a rhythm and I lifted my behind higher to allow him to go deeper. “My god, Delia,” he exhaled a long breath.

He took his time, although I could see the struggle on his face. When he couldn’t fight it a second longer, he drove into me harder. He pushed into me until there was no he or I—we were completely one. I rocked with him, letting him know how much I liked exactly what he was doing to me. We were desperate for one another. There was a deep love between us, but there was also a carnal need to have him lose control while inside of me. We came at the same time. I screamed out for him as he shuddered and collapsed against me.

I waited for him to move out of me, but he stayed in place. He pulled me in close. His kiss was possessive and I had the strongest sensation I was forever his.  

***

Later, we stayed in each other’s arms. Neither of us seemed in a rush to get up and leave the sanctity of my bed. Quietly, I watched him. Watched the steady rise and fall of his chest. Memorized how his lashes fell against his cheeks each time he blinked. Every small thing about him fascinated me to no end.

He regarded me through hooded eyes. “Do you know my favorite feature of yours?” I shook my head before he continued. “Your back.” My skin tingled as he pushed my hair aside and let his fingers graze down my back until resting at the base of my spine. “There’s something so beautiful and delicate about the skin on your back.”

“I can’t choose one feature of yours,” I said gently. I kissed him and put every ounce of love I felt for him in it. “I love them all. Your eyes, your mouth, your very hard and very large….”

His laughter was choked. His eyes wandered over my naked body and the need to be with him again started to return. “I love all of you too.”

The moment was perfect. Finally, I was accepting that I also deserved to be happy. Being with Levi consumed me and I allowed his love to wash over me. 

My expression turned serious as I stared at him. “You are my one and only love,” I swore.

“And you are mine,” he promised.

I would give him all of me. Maybe I was young, but in my heart, I understood no one else would ever have a hold on my heart the same way Levi did. Love didn’t have to equal pain. Love could wash away the pain and open up the way for a new beginning.

THE END

Heather Topham Wood’s obsession with novels began in childhood while growing up in a shore town in New Jersey. Writing since her teens, she recently returned to penning novels after a successful career as a freelance writer. She loves creating imaginary worlds where people behave exactly how she wants them to.

Heather graduated from the College of New Jersey in 2005 and holds a bachelor's degree in English. Her freelance work has appeared in publications such as
USA Today
, Livestrong.com,
Outlook by the Bay
and
Step in Style
magazine. She resides in Trenton, New Jersey with her husband and two sons. Besides writing, Heather is a pop culture fanatic and has an obsession with supernatural novels and TV shows.

Follow Heather on Facebook, Twitter and her blog to keep posted on her upcoming works:

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