Pretty in Plaid: A Life, a Witch, and a Wardrobe, or the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomaniacal Self-Centered Smart-Ass Phase (37 page)
Authors: Jen Lancaster
Tags: #Form, #General, #American, #Art, #Personal Memoirs, #Authors; American, #Fashion, #Girls, #Humor, #Literary Criticism, #Jeanne, #Clothing and dress, #Literary, #Biography & Autobiography, #Biography, #Essays, #21st Century
Table of Contents
Sock Lobster - (Navy Knee-Highs)
You Say Extortion Like It’s a Bad Thing - (Green Dotted Swiss Dress)
How About a Nice Hawaiian Punch? - (Girl Scout Uniform)
The Green Badge of Courage - (Kelly Green Speedo Tank Suit)
Miss New Jersey Has Everything - (Brown Tasseled Clogs)
A Series of Unfortunate (Pant) Events - (Bloomingdale’s Underwear)
Take a Picture, It Lasts Longer - (Jordache Jeans, Part One)
Plan B - (Jordache Jeans, Part Two)
Gay Paree - (Jordache Jeans, Part Three)
Clipped Wings - (Pfft, Who Cares Because I May as Well Be in Prison Stripes)
Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Singing a Billy Ocean Song - (White Satin Gown)
They’re Quite Aware of What They’re Going Through - (Bass Weejun Penny Loafers)
Which Is an Entirely Different Chapter - (Not Even My Yellow Argyle Sweater)
Absolute Power? Absolutely! - (Gold Lavaliere, Part One)
First She Was a Seed and Then She Was Trouble - (Gold Lavaliere, Part Two)
Dénouement - (Gold Lavaliere, Part Three)
We Need a Montage - (A Variety of Stained Aprons)
You Sank My Battleship - (Navy Suit, Part One)
Just the Fax, Ma’am - (Navy Suit, Part Two)
Brass Something, Anyway - (Navy Suit, Part Three)
Worst Movie Ever - (Canvas Book Bag)
Pretty (Average) Woman - (Utilitarian Snow Boots)
My Kind of Town - (Cubs Bucket Hat)
Carrie Bradshaw Made Me Do It - (Not Manolos—But Close)
She Gets a Long Letter, Sends Back a Postcard (Times Are Hard) - (Silver ...