Pulse of Heroes (68 page)

Before returning downstairs, Michelle took
out the leather pouch from the front pocket of the jeans she had
worn earlier and slowly pulled out pearl after pearl until the
whole necklace sat in the palm of her hand. The necklace was the
only item that felt like it did before. Michelle cupped it and
placed it over her heart, as if it would quiet her rapidly
increasing beat. The cold smooth surface of the pearls cooled her
flushed skin, and one lonely tear escaped from her eye as she
remembered that only minutes after Elliot placed the necklace
around her neck she had told him she loved him.

When Michelle’s parents finally arrived she
was extra glad to see them, and ran into their arms like she hadn’t
seen them in years. Both of them were surprised by her display of
affection, and after the hugs were properly dispensed her mom asked
if everything was all right. Michelle wished that she could burst
into tears and tell her everything that she had gone through. From
Vilna and her murdered ex-boyfriend, to being kidnapped by Haden,
and the mistake of getting too close to him, and of course about
how Elliot came to save her… and about all the blood she saw. She
wanted her father to assure her that stabbing Haden the way she did
didn’t make her a murderer, and that it wouldn’t even have killed
him if it weren’t for the special alloy the spear was made out
of.

“How was the concert?” her father asked when
he returned from the washroom and sat at a chair across from her.
He was wondering if that was why her voice was so hoarse.

“It was really good. Yes, we did scream a
lot. Well actually some of the bands were kind of strange,” she
answered.

“Why you don’t talk about the boy in the car
today?” Eranka said mischievously. Michelle had no idea that
Eranka’s eyesight was that good. She cleared her throat and looked
at the smiling faces around her.

“It wasn’t a boy like that. Gosh! It was one
of Marika’s friends, and I sat in the front because it was my turn,
that’s all,” she lied. Her parents obviously didn’t believe her but
they weren’t going to press the subject because they saw nothing
wrong in a seventeen-year-old girl meeting a few boys her own
age.

Although happy to be back to normalcy and the
calm that her aunt’s home offered, Michelle was unable to fall
asleep that night. Her mind couldn’t clear itself of the horrible
images and memories. It only got worse when she closed her eyes.
She tossed and turned on the bed, and began feeling claustrophobic.
The only thing that she could do was to force herself to think
about something else.

Michelle thought about how strange things had
felt that morning, like when she took a bite of the porridge and
couldn’t taste it, let alone swallow it. It was even hard to drink
water; her throat just closed up. The guys were very supportive as
usual, and Mikoto made her some Japanese tea. She managed to drink
a small cup while they told her that she was in shock and that it
took on different characteristics for different people. They all
treaded very carefully around Haden’s name, but later when Ando
drove her home he told her that she was probably mourning his death
too, whether she knew it or not. She didn’t want to talk about it,
and just stared out the window at the countryside, watching as
people went about their daily routines and envying them. They had
no idea about the world she had now been introduced to, a world
that existed parallel to their own realm. They worried about bills
and crops. Even the angry man who was cursing at his flat tire on
the side of the road had no idea how good he had it. People took
the world they lived in for granted. Ando told her that it was a
beautiful day, and she could see the scenery stretched out on all
sides of her; the hills and valleys of yellowy summer flowers
between the rows of green farmlands, the small castle ruins set
against the blue sky. She recognized the beauty, but she couldn’t
feel it. It didn’t evoke any joy; not even a memory of joy.

“I feel like I don’t belong here, like its
all an illusion. It’s very strange,” she told him. Ando knew how
she felt. He had felt the same exact feelings when he first
discovered that he was different, when he watched his siblings age
and die, or when he lost a wife and later his children to the
ravages of time. He told her that they all struggled daily with
forcing themselves to survive in a world that they didn’t belong
to, adding that they had all gone through various phases of deep
depression, which usually meant that they would become reclusive
and live somewhere alone for many years. Michelle argued with him
that at least they belonged in the sense that they knew there were
others like them out there. They had one another. But she was worse
off because she didn’t feel like she belonged in her world anymore,
now that she knew about them and had lived through some of their
realities, but she could never belong with them either because she
was human.

“Michelle,” he told her, “I know this is
going to be hard for you, but you will have to balance yourself to
live in both worlds, if that is what you choose to do. One foot in
ours and the other one out there. There is no other way. Or, you
can walk away, severe all ties, and convince yourself that what you
have learned in the past few months is just some sort of a fantasy,
like one you read about in a book. You won’t be the first or the
last woman that has walked away from one of us for that reason. It
hurts, a lot, but at the same time it’s a blessing in disguise
because we don’t have to deal with more death.”

Ando got quiet after that. The next time he
spoke, he didn’t even look at her. He told her that it wasn’t easy
to be with one of them. They always moved from place to place,
which prevented their families from establishing close
relationships with friends and other family members. There was
anger, jealousy, depression, and at times even suicide he warned.
The families were forced to watch themselves age while they stayed
young and strong. That led to tremendous insecurity in the women,
and they would usually take it out on them, even if they had been
completely devoted for years.

“If an attractive younger woman passes by,
she might try to flirt with one of us, mistaking our wife for our
mother or grandmother. Can you imagine how that must feel to a
woman? And then there are the endless daily logistics of dealing
with the public. For example, if husband and wife want to go to the
market together, it will look very strange and comments will fly
because the mature woman is with a man that looks to be half her
age.” Michelle couldn’t even begin to imagine what that would feel
like. And she doubted that any young man, which they all were,
could still love and want to be with his wrinkly old wife. There
must have been plenty of cheating, she thought.

“I don’t think I can do this,” she said
finally, after going over so many awful scenarios in her head. And
yet, her heart felt like it was slashed when she said those
words.

Ando must have realized how bleak he was
making everything sound, and tried to brighten up his tone. He told
her that it wasn’t all bad, and that being with one of them could
be wonderful and exciting too. “We have the means to go anywhere in
the world and experience everything that’s out there. Money is
never a problem, so you can do whatever you like and have anything
you want. We can use our abilities to help people slow down the
natural aging process. We encourage their bodies to get rid of
tired cells and replace them with new ones. It doesn’t work
forever. But it helps quite a bit.” Ando also told her that they
were all highly educated and carried a vast amount of knowledge in
their brains. “It’s all in here,” he said, pointing to his head. “I
have numerous degrees, and can speak nine languages fluently. I
think Elliot has lost count of how many he speaks.”

Michelle thought about the way Elliot had
tutored her in Italian, and how great he would be in helping kids
with their homework. But then she remembered that he had been
adamant about not being able to have any more children. Ando sensed
her apprehension, and told her that Elliot would walk away from her
and that she’d never see him again if she were honest about her
feelings and told him that she couldn’t handle the life that was
attached to him. They had all had to do it before; they had to
respect such requests because a human life was very short, and to
bother or ruin even one day of that life was a crime.

The next morning, Michelle woke up in her
quiet little perch and felt peaceful. She toyed with the idea that
perhaps all the horrible things she had gone through were in fact
just a bad dream. Back with her family, she felt safe, loved and
protected. They didn’t detect any changes in her, so everything
must still be the same. She made her way downstairs, happily
skipping every other step, and once at the bottom she saw her
father standing next to the telephone by the front door. “Morning
Dad!” she yelled extra loud. Her father smiled back at her.

“Morning, sunshine,” he said, putting his arm
around her shoulder and asking her how she slept. While she ate
breakfast and actually managed to swallow the food, he poured
himself a cup of coffee and told her he was going out back to join
her mother.

“Eat more than just that toast. I think you
lost some weight,” he said, leaving her alone in the kitchen.

After breakfast, Michelle walked out back to
see what everyone was doing. And as soon as she saw her parents she
knew that something wasn’t right. They both smiled at her, but she
immediately recognized that it was their ‘everything is fine’
smile, when it was the exact opposite that was true.

“What?” Michelle asked, feeling the color
beginning to drain from her face.

“Honey, why don’t you come sit down with us.”
That was always what her mom said when there was something serious
to talk about. Michelle looked at the yard and saw Eranka bending
over some plants in the garden. She was talking to herself about
God knows what, and seemed upset too. Probably the rabbit, Michelle
thought, and shook her head. When she looked back at her parents
they were no longer smiling. Great, she thought as she hesitantly
made her way across the scratchy grass barefoot. What did she do
now? Maybe they found out something. There were definitely plenty
of things that she could get in trouble over. Perhaps her father
had talked to Marika’s dad and found out that she hadn’t spent the
night there, or maybe Vilna called screaming about her dead
brother, father, whatever. Michelle looked at her mother and her
mother looked at her father, meaning that he was going to be the
speaker.

“Michelle, I was just checking my messages at
the office… and there is something that I think we should tell you
rather than you hearing it from someone else when we get back
home.” Horrible scenarios began running through Michelle’s mind. It
couldn’t be about Elliot because there was no way he had made it
back to Willow’s Creek yet. But what if his plane crashed? But that
didn’t make sense either because how would such news travel
straight to her father’s message box. She kept thinking and
thinking until…

“Oh my God! It’s Crumb isn’t it?” she
screamed in worry.

“No baby, Crumb is fine,” her father said,
almost smiling. He called her ‘baby’, meaning that things had gone
from bad to worse.

“Then what is it? Don’t make me guess!”
Michelle said angrily. Her father apologized and told her that he
was trying to find the best words to use.

“Did somebody die?” Michelle yelled with
dread and frustration. Her mother put her hand on her father’s
arm.

“Let me, Ron,” she said, and Michelle watched
her father shrink in front of her eyes. Her mom took Michelle’s
hand into hers. “Sweetie, the bad news is that Mrs. Bianchetti
suffered a heart attack a few days ago and…” Michelle’s face went
pale.

“Is she all right though? I mean they can fix
that right?” Michelle felt her mouth dry.

“She was very old. I’m sorry. She’s passed
away,” her mom said to her, clasping her hand even tighter.

“Are you sure? Mom, I mean are they sure?”
Michelle asked in a shaky voice. Her father gave her the napkin he
was holding under his coffee cup because he saw Michelle’s eyes
turn glossy. But Michelle didn’t cry.

“We’re sure baby,” he said. “A funeral will
be held at Saint Alodia after Sunday services. Michelle began
feeling angry. At first she didn’t know at whom, but then she
realized that she was angry with herself. She had left Francesca
all alone for her birthday, and she remembered how Francesca had
told her that she wanted to celebrate it with her because she
didn’t know if she’d have many more after that one. Michelle had
let her down, and now she was dead. If only she would have stayed
at home none of this would have happened and most likely Francesca
would still be alive. With a sudden burst of energy, Michelle ran
inside the house and up to her loft. But not before she yelled at
her parents that she wasn’t going to miss the funeral. She was
going back home. Michelle lay on the bed staring at the ceiling
waiting for the tears to come, but they didn’t. It was like she was
crying, but she was empty. She eventually fell asleep; her last
thought was that she wished she could turn back time.

As the Andrews climbed into their small
egg-shaped rental car, Eranka grabbed Michelle by the elbow and
whispered to her to remember what she had told her. “You have gypsy
blood in you. I am sorry about your friend, and I am sorry that you
were in a bad place over the weekend. But that’s why I kept it to
myself and not worry your mother or father.” Michelle looked at
Eranka in horror, but Eranka just hugged her tight with her
muscular grasp, and Michelle thought she might squeeze the stuffing
out of her. After she let go, Eranka smiled and whispered to
Michelle that she had special dreams too. Since she was a little
girl. “You have good friend around. You are very lucky,” she said,
giving her a small friendly shove towards the car. Through the rear
window, Michelle watched her aunt standing outside her small home
in her apron and sunflower-print polyester dress. She got smaller
and smaller, and eventually disappeared along with the house.
Michelle wished that Eranka lived closer to them, and she hoped
that, unlike poor Francesca, she would get to see her again.