Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves) (6 page)

I gave Alex directions to the complex and started to pack, awaiting his arrival.

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Alex called me as he pulled up to the gates outside the building.

“I will buzz you in, just park anywhere you find parking.  I will meet you there,” I said and raced outside.  Alex came in a big black Ford pick up truck.  “I never imagined you in a truck, Alex.  It makes you look kind of sexy,” I winked at him as he hugged me, lifting me up and spinning me around.

“
Let’s get packing, Claire.  I’m sure there’s a lot to do.  I’m not sure if your furniture will fit in the back of this truck, but we will fit as many boxes as we can,” he planned as we made our way inside my condo. “This is a nice place you got here, you sure you want to move?” he asked.

“
The new place is nicer, you will see.  It’s also much safer because the garage is attached, not like this place which only has an underground parking garage.”

“
I see.  That sounds much better,” he agreed.

“
I’m not taking my furniture with me.  The kitchen has built-in appliances in the new place and I will slowly be purchasing furniture.  I’m only taking my bedroom set and all of my small belongings.  My parents are going to try to rent this out furnished, giving me a chance to decorate my new place myself.  This used to be my grandmothers before she passed away.  This is all her furniture, aside from the bedroom set.” I informed him.

Alex understood and helped me tape the boxes and carried them to his truc
k.  I carried the lighter boxes and he carried the heavier items.  After his truck was full, we headed to my new place.  I used my gate remote for the entrance and finally made it to my new condo.  Alex loved the new condo and agreed that it was so much more secure than my old place.  We drove back and forth in his truck until all boxes were removed from the old place.  I decided I would unpack slowly so that I wouldn’t exhaust myself. I gave Alex a tour of the new place and he loved the breathtaking views of the city.

“
Thank you so much, Alex.  You were such a big help today.  I couldn’t have done this without you,” I thanked him.

“
You could thank me with a kiss,” he replied, pressing his lips against mine.  “Now let’s go eat something, I know you’re hungry because I’m starving,” he kissed me again as we left my new home and started for a place to eat.

It was
so nice to spend time with Alex.  We ate something light and had a cup of coffee as we got to know one another a little more.  Alex wouldn’t stop telling me how much he liked me and found me to be exactly his type.  I didn’t want to believe too much of it.  I wondered if he said that to all of his dates.  I had to warn him again not to visit me at work, so others would not suspect anything. “Alex, I am breaking all of my rules.  I have never dated anyone from my workplace, and never planned to.  Please be considerate of that and keep it on the down low,” I pleaded.

“
I understand completely.  I will only call or text you at work.  As much as I would want to stop by your desk and plant a big kiss on your lips, I will hold back until the day is over and we are not at that hospital anymore,” he replied with a smile.  “As long as I get to see you outside of work, I’m happy.  You brighten up my day and put a smile on my face, which hasn’t happened in a very long time.  I will abide by your rules,” he smiled.  “Now, let’s get out of here and see if we can unpack any of your necessities,” he said.

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The remainder of the day was a blast.  Alex and I were acting like two children alone in a brand new empty house, running around chasing one another.  We hadn’t noticed the time, as it was almost midnight.  We left the new place, having unpacked quite a bit and Alex drove me back to my old place and walked me to my unit.  He made sure I got inside safely, closed the door behind him and put his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him.  His body was so warm and I felt so safe in his arms.  He started to kiss me on my forehead, making his way down to my cheek, then my neck.  He made his way back up to my lips.  His lips were so warm as if they were on fire.  His kisses were so passionate that they made me weak in the knees.  His hands moved to my breasts, caressing them as he kissed me with so much emotion, I started to push him away.  I was afraid to let this go any further as I was starting to feel anxious. The more passionately he kissed me, the more nervous I became.  He walked me over to the couch, still kissing me, fondling my breasts from on top of my bra until he moved his hands to the back and unclasped my bra.  His hands were now caressing my bare breasts before they headed for my jeans and unbuttoned those as well.  Next thing I knew, we were both on the couch, him on top of me. 
Oh no!
  I wanted him to stop. “No!” I had to tell him to stop. “No!”  Fear had gotten a harder grip on me and I could take it no longer.  “No! Stop it!” I screamed, as I pushed him hard until he was off the couch, standing there, with a horrified look on his face.

“
I-I-I’m sorry, Claire, I thought you wanted to, uh, I thought we were on the same page, I thought, I’m really sorry,” he said, confused.

“
I apologize if I sent the wrong message, but we are not on the same page.  I wasn’t expecting you to peel my clothes off before I even had a chance to breathe.  Is this what you expect as a return for helping me move? Sex?  Is that what you’re here for and what you’ve been after for the past week?  If so, I’d like you to leave now.  You’ve been pursuing the wrong girl,” I said as I secured my bra, walked over to the door, opening it to let him out.

“
I swear, Claire, that’s not what I’ve been after,” he replied, shaking his head.  “I just thought you felt the same way and just got caught up in the heat of the moment.  Can you blame me for being so attracted to you?  I’m not going to apologize for being attracted to you, but I’m really sorry that I crossed a line I did not see.  I was just confused and misinterpreted things and I apologize sincerely for that.  Let’s put this behind us, Claire.  I promise never to try anything you are not comfortable with,” he promised.

“
Let’s just call it a night, Alex.  It’s really late, anyway,” I said as I opened the door wider and watched him walk out, turning back, looking at me with very sad and concerned eyes.  “I’m so sorry, please forgive me.  Goodnight.”  He walked away as I watched him leave.  I was so angry with myself, angry at the world, angry at the way things always turned out for me when it came to relationships.  Why couldn’t I just be normal?  Why me?  Why did men come on so strong and couldn’t control their animal instincts?  The unanswered questions in my head were eating me alive.  I took a shower and threw myself into bed, crying into my pillow.  My phone buzzed with a text message.

Hey, you ok? Just wanted to extend my sincere apologies and to answer your question, no, sex is not what I’ve been after.  You’ve got it all wrong.

Hi, apology accepted.  Things just started to go too far and I panicked.

I know you’re really tired.
Could I call you tomorrow so we can just talk?

Sure, Alex.  Goodnight.

Sleep tight.

I continued to sob into my pillow until I had no tears left.  My head began to pound and my eyes began to burn.  I somehow fell asleep.  There were no nightmares to awaken from that night.  I guess I was too exhausted to even dream, and I was very grateful for that.

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Morning came too soon.  I didn’t feel like getting out of bed.  My legs were sore from all the strenuous activities from the day before.  My father called to let me know he would arrive shortly with my brothers to help move my bedroom furniture and entertainment system.  I asked if he could give me a few hours, since I was so exhausted, it would take some time for me to get going.  I decided to watch some television in bed to get my mind off things.  Flipping through the channels, through endless boring shows and infomercials, I almost jumped out of my bed when I thought I saw Alex’s face on TV.  It was a documentary about people who had ear reconstruction surgeries and facial deformity surgeries such as cleft palate repairs.  Alex was interviewed, answering questions regarding the surgical cases.

I kne
w I had seen his face somewhere. I thought I had seen him in a magazine as a model, but I had been wrong.  He was doing his job, answering questions about the benefits of the procedures and how it elevates the patient’s self esteem and improves their quality of life.  I decided to give him a call.

“
Good morning, Dr. Blake.  Did I wake you?” I asked.

“
Good morning, beautiful.  No, I didn’t sleep much last night and woke up early, but I’m just hanging out in bed.  How are you feeling?” He sounded concerned.

“
I’m doing well, thank you.  I’m just sore from yesterday.  My legs are killing me,” I laughed.  “I actually called you to ask if I could have your autograph, please,” I said.

“
My autograph?” he laughed.  “Why?” he asked. 

“
Because you’re a celebrity, Dr. Blake. I just saw you on a plastic surgery documentary,” I replied as he started to laugh.

“
Oh no, I was hoping you wouldn’t see that,” he said.

“
You know, Alex, the first day we met, I thought you looked familiar.  I knew I had seen you somewhere, so I assumed I had seen you modeling in a magazine.  When I was flipping through the channels just now, I came across this show and you showed up on my TV, I recalled where I had seen you,” I said.

Alex began to laugh, “Model, uh, no.  Medical advice on television, sure,
but never did any modeling. I’m very flattered that you would even consider that, Claire.”

“
I have to say, Alex, I’m very impressed.  You really love to make a difference in people’s lives.  That’s a great quality,” I complimented.

I apologized for my reaction the night before.  I didn’t want there to be tension between us.  I really enjoyed talking to Alex and spending time with
him.  I wanted to see where the relationship could go and he deserved a chance as well as I.

“
No apology needed, Claire.  I was wrong to have pushed you too far and should have known my limits.  Did you want to hang out today?” he asked.

“
My dad and brothers are coming with a moving truck today to help me finish the move.  Maybe after we are all done, we can go for some coffee.  I will call you, okay?” I said. Alex seemed to like the idea.

My father arrived with Kyle and Calvin, disassembled my bedroom furniture
, took apart the entertainment system and loaded it into the moving truck.  They were surprised how much I had moved the day before.  Thanks to Alex, I didn’t have much left to do.

Kyle and Calvin had not seen the new condo yet and they absolutely loved it.  They asked my fa
ther if they could have one also, after they finished graduate school.  My father laughed and said it might be a possibility.  My bed was assembled in my new home and my entertainment center was ready to entertain.  I was ready to start a new chapter in my life, in my new home.

Chapter 3

I texted Alex after my father and brothers left to notify him that my move was c
omplete.  He sounded very eager to see me.  “I’m just going to take a quick shower and I will be there within an hour,” he said quickly.  I decided I would take another shower and wash my hair this time.  I thought I should apply some makeup because I didn’t want him to notice my puffy eyes from sobbing the night before.  I dried and styled my long brown hair and slipped into a summer dress.  It was another very hot day in the Valley.

The guard at the front gate called to notify me of Alex
’s arrival.  I really liked my new gated and secure home.  It made me feel safe and would keep unwanted and uninvited strangers away.  I accepted and asked the guard to please let him in.  I took one last look in the mirror to make sure I looked all right and waited for Alex.

Alex arrived in a much different car this time.  It
wasn’t the large black Ford truck. It was a black Porsche Carrera turbo. Boy did he look amazing in that car.  It suited him very much.  He made his way out of the car gracefully, slowly removing his sunglasses.

“
Hi, gorgeous.  Wow, you look really beautiful today,” he held a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a large gift in the other.

“
Hi yourself, and thank you.  What is all this, Alex?” I asked.

“
It’s nothing.  It’s just a small housewarming gift.  Did you think I was going to come empty handed on my first real visit here?” He asked, smiling.  His teeth looked even whiter that day.  He handed me the flowers and I went to look for a vase.

“
Claire, before you put the flowers in a vase, please open the gift first.”

I unwrapped the beautiful package and exposed a Tiffany box.  I looked up at him, wondering what he had gotten from there.  I opened the box and found a beautiful crystal vase.  How perfect it was.  My flowers were going to
look even more beautiful in that vase.