PUSH: Ultra Alpha MMA Badboy Mafia Romance (Southside Brotherhood Book 2) (15 page)

“Where are we going?” Lilly whispered as Flynn guided her toward the wooden ladder that led to the attic of the century-old structure.

Inside this boathouse, their secrets still floated in the air.

“Here. You go first; I’m right behind you. You won’t fall.”

Flynn gulped the air as Lilly’s fingers gripped the ladder. The breeze caught the lace hem of her white nightgown as his hands guided her by the waist up the first of the twenty-two steps that led to a secret space Flynn had kept only for himself since he was a child.

For early November, the air was warm. Even with the clouds rolling, the breeze didn’t chill.

As she climbed, Flynn cradled her body with his own two steps behind. His eyes rolled back into his head as her hips shifted right and left only inches from his face. He could feel her warmth radiating toward him.

God, please, don’t let me hurt her, ‘cause I’m not feeling the whole control thing right now. I need a damn piece of leather to bite down on or some shit, like in some old war movie when they have to cut some poor dude’s leg off out in some freezing tent somewhere. I’m about as primed as a powder keg and her round ripe ass about three inches from my fucking mouth is not helping things.

“Oh my God —”

Lilly flicked her head side to side as she entered the loft space.

A hundred tiny candles circled the floor of the open attic. Flynn rose up next to Lilly as she turned in a full circle, taking it in.

“It’s beautiful.”

“No. It’s a room. You’re beautiful. That word is reserved for you.”

“But, wow, how did you —”

“I’ve got my ways. I’ve been hiding up here for a long time. I just needed to tweak it a bit. Turn my man cave into a proper ‘She Shed’.”

Flynn watched as her lips turned up, and he felt like he was floating. The space was filled with white. White pillows rested on top of a massive, white-sheeted mattress. Hundreds of white roses were scattered along the dark, rough planks of the floor.

“You like white.” Flynn said his eyes transfixed on her face.

“Wow.” Her grin turned to a full smile, and she flung her head around fast enough that her long braid hit Flynn in the chest.

“Hey, careful with that thing.”

“Sorry.” Lilly played with the end of her mile-long tail, fussing as her eyes flitted up and down over Flynn.

“What happened to your shirt? You doing a David Banner impression?”

“Yeah, I turned fucking green waiting for you. My inner Hulk couldn’t wait anymore. What took you so long?”

“I —” She pulled her lips to the side like she did when she was thinking. “I didn’t open your note. Not for at least an hour. I didn’t want to know whatever was inside. I thought you were saying goodbye. You were going to leave.”

He could see the flood of warmth turn her ivory cheeks pink. The candlelight worked its magic through the white fabric nightgown, silhouetting the glorious round shapes where Flynn imagined his tongue would be very soon.

Flynn’s heart ached as her arms wrapped around her waist, and then one up across her chest. Just as she did whenever she felt insecure. That hard outer shell held a little girl inside who needed someone to undo all the bullshit and lies people filled her with over the years.

“I thought of it. Of leaving —” Flynn traced his fingers down her bare arm, watching as goose bumps formed wherever he touched.

He took the warmth of her hand into his, gently pulling her to the long bench covered with angel white pillows and blankets, sitting her sideways against the end, so he could take his place next to her and guide her feet onto his lap.

As much as the animal in him wanted to bind to her, to furrow into her neck and mark her with his teeth and fuck her until he howled, he wanted this. Her soul, her thoughts, anything she wanted to give him, he needed.

She knew why she was here, but her words needed his ears and he would control himself until the moment was right. Even if it killed him.

The only problem was the distinct discomfort that was coming from his dick, which refused to yield even an inch.

What is going to happen when this shit gets real?? Damn thing is harder that forged steel already. This one’s worth the wait, ol’ boy. Get used to it, we’re in a new game now. New rules, but it’s going to be worth it, I fucking promise.

“Why haven’t you left before? I mean, you can, really. You hate it here; you say there’s nothing for you, so why have you stayed so long?”

Flynn hated her question. A heat rose from his gut, his teeth cracked together. But, it was a fair. He’d asked himself the same thing a million times.

“I mean, you have money. Why don’t you just go?”

“I guess, I didn’t think I deserved anything different. Somehow, this is what I earned. I’m not a nice guy, Lilly. I’ve done bad things. Just like them. I guess once they get a part of you, you realize maybe it’s who you are. No matter where I went, I couldn’t get away from me. From who I was. It wasn’t until you that I felt something change. Felt like I was trapped in some bizarre act where I was playing a part.” Flynn felt the softness of her ankle as he wrapped his fingers around and gently began to slide them up and down. “And, no, I don’t have money.
He
has money. I have some, but not what you think. He controls those strings.”

The caress sent his lust on a rocket to the stars. The white lace at the bottom of her nightgown moved upward as he stroked up her calf, and he felt her shift as she tried to hide the shiver.

“Besides, before you, I never thought of a different life. Sure, there was shit I hated here. But, I didn’t ever care enough to plan anything else. I just didn’t care. About anything, really. Sure, there’s money, but it’s not like I have some bank account with my name on it. I’ve got enough, but I never gave enough of a shit to do anything different. Until now. Until you.”

Her eyes turned down to where his hand connected them. She curved her leg and pulled it slightly up and back down in his hand, and Flynn felt the room start to spin.

No woman ever held the power she had. With just a shift of her hips, he was harder than he ever had been before. He wanted to give her every part of himself and feel her body under his. He wanted to look into her eyes as he slipped himself into her for the first time.

“Your letter was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read. And, the saddest. I wish I knew you before. When you were young..”

“No, you don’t. I think that was when I was worse. Cold. Completely disconnected. I didn’t care about anyone. The only thing that ever made sense to me until now was the fight. It’s the only time I ever remember feeling anything.”

“Like when you told me that you —” Flynn saw her look at him, testing to see if she should continue.

“You don’t ever have to be afraid of me, Lilly. You can say what you need to say with me, always. Just don’t ever lie to me.”

“When you killed that boy. You said you felt the happiest you had ever been.” Her eyes lifted slowly.

“I’ve never told anyone about that. I shouldn’t have told you either.”

“I wanted to know. I’m glad you told me.”

“Yeah, but you don’t understand what I meant. I wasn’t fucking ‘happy’ about killing someone. Especially that kid. He didn’t deserve to die, and I didn’t mean to kill him.”
Flynn shook his head.

This is not what I want to fucking be talking about right now. No one but her could ever get me to override my control and let that little happy family memory out. My hand isn’t going to stay below the knee for much longer. But, something about her, if she needs to know, I’ll fucking tell her.

“I wanted to show my dad he couldn’t control me. I wasn’t going to be his bitch anymore. So, instead of losing like a good soldier and making the family another dump of money, I knocked his head practically off his shoulders. Honestly, I barely remember the kick. I just remember the sound of him hitting the mat, and then when I looked down, I knew. Dead people look dead. And, his head was spun almost looking backward. It was fucked up, Lilly. I’m not a killer. I would kill, don't get that confused. Those are two very different animals. I’d kill someone who deserved it. I’d kill anyone who tried to hurt you again. No remorse. But, that shit that happened, the only happiness I felt was knowing it was just a big ol’ ‘fuck you’ to my dad. He kept putting me in those shitty, money fights instead of letting me get serious and go pro. But, I took it, I gotta own it. For some reason, I stuck around. Did what I was told —” Flynn’s hand stopped moving.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I brought it up again —”

“No. It’s all right. I know. Now I know why I’m still here.”

He lifted his head, turning his body and putting her one foot behind his back and leaning over, opening her legs with his hips as he maneuvered.

“Why?”

“You.”

Heat was already coming down from between the lush softness of her thighs and Flynn couldn’t fight the moan that escaped his chest as his lips locked with hers.

Flynn held himself over her, one hand at the back of her neck as he struggled for control. This time, her lips took him willingly, her tongue gliding across his lips and finding the dance with his in haste as her breath warmed his cheek.

If she had known me before, she wouldn’t be here. Who I was before her wasn’t anyone any right-minded person would want to know. My indifference toward the world and everyone in it was absolute. My behavior toward most other humans atrocious. But, this little she-devil in white spun me on my damn axis, and now here I am. Taking it slow when all I can think of is riding her like a rutting boar.

Her mouth was the most delicious thing he ever tasted. He couldn’t bear the thought of what he would do when his tongue took over and glided into her heaven. She was already his drug, and he hadn’t even breached her yet.

Nothing about her said ‘quickly’, and they had all night. The assumption was that she would be tucked-in behind her door, and no one would bother to check on her unless she missed breakfast and failed to turn up to her duties at SPIN Corp. by 9 am.

The primal need to capture every bit of her overwhelmed him. He felt like a circuit on overload, an almost painful vibration coursing through him and lodging itself firmly on the thick length beneath his straining zipper.

Her breath was coming in uneven gasps as their lips translated the months of denial.

This was their beginning and Flynn wanted to give her more of himself than he ever knew existed before. Thinking of taking her, feeling the essence of her around him sent a jolt of predatory instinct coursing through his blood.

His veins felt heated, the pounding in his head matched by the pounding from below.

Flynn retreated, her breath fresh and sweet and her eyes darted over his face, looking like a child desperate to be sure they were safe.

“I’m taking you tonight. But, it’s more, you get that, right? I’m not going to be satisfied until it’s us, 100%.”

Her eyelashes fluttered, and Flynn felt his gut clench, a wave of doubt passing over her blushing warm cheeks.

“I don’t know how we can ever—”
Lilly’s words faltered.

Her resolve was breaking, and Flynn felt his own desperation. He had to keep her here, right now, chase away the shadows and the fear.

“Don’t. You don’t worry about anything. I’ll figure this out. Tonight is for us, stay here —” His fingers gripped her chin, forcing her eyes to his. “Right here is everything. Tonight can be our little eternity. Don’t ruin it by letting anyone else be here with us. You get it? If they’re in your head, they’re here. I want to give you something, Lilly, something I’ve never wanted to give anyone before. Please, don’t go away. And, I don’t fucking mean like leave down the damn ladder, I mean in here.” He took his fingers from her chin and opened his palm to lay it across the swell of her chest.

The force of her heartbeat told him exactly what he needed to know.

It wasn’t her heart that felt the fear; it was her head.

Those memories, those fucks who’d tossed her aside into a life where no one worried about a scared, hurt, little girl and it made Flynn want to tear the fucking roof down.

Tonight, it would be all about loving her. Showing her what that meant. Flynn knew his nature was to fuck and fuck hard. Even with her, his need to take what belonged to him with a roar still rumbled in the back of his mind.

She needs me to show her the beauty of this. When someone fucking loves her like blue loves the damn sky.

She’s knotted into me, and something like this does not come undone. Slow, boy, easy this time, the fucking will come, but she needs the love and I’m going to show it to her until she screams the white off the sheets.

“Is it locked?” Lilly looked over toward the closed hatch in the floor.

“Babe, I’m your damn lock. You don’t need locks anymore.”

“But, I told you, I like locks. I feel safer. I actually liked it when your dad put those dead bolts on my door. I slept better knowing I was locked inside.”

She’s got a damn thing for locks. I get it, after what she told me about that fuck of an uncle back home. Damn, some people don’t deserve to live. That waste of life used to come into her room at night when her mom was off working, and that shit of a stepfather was too drunk to notice his brother sneaking off in his own damn house. Thank fuck, that piece of shit never took it all the way, but it was bad enough, that smart little firecracker stole an old lock off a stall door in an abandoned barn and managed to get it screwed into her bedroom door.