Rage to Adore (25 page)

“We still need to make inquiries about Morana,” Antares
reminded them. “She seems to be our best hope of finding Ziad. Who among the sanguini
eldars is sympathetic to the Eunomi cause?”

Cassi took a moment to answer. “Xaphan has always stood up
for us. He might be worth contacting. He has a son who is a member of the
Eunomi Enforcement Squad.”

Tyr was determined that they would do everything in their
power to locate Ziad. “We need to contact him then. He could be very useful
particularly if he has the power of revelation. Perhaps he can pinpoint
something with regard to Morana’s whereabouts,” he said.

Cassi and Antares left to follow up that lead. Ziad was an
important part of the Eunomi brethren and Tyr owed him much, for he had saved
his life, purging poison from his body that should have been fatal. It was
after that service that Ziad had disappeared and Tyr was determined to see his
safe return and pay back the debt. Plus, Irina had a soft spot for the sanguini
healer and Tyr would do everything in his power to make her happy.

Tyr assigned tasks to his men, knowing that The Balance on
Ophiuchus had reached a crisis point. The scales were in flux and it was up to
the Eunomi to ensure they maintained equilibrium. As Esseni of War and a sworn
warrior of the Eunomi, he took his vows seriously. Adrenaline was pumping
through his veins in anticipation of the imminent conflict and Tyr knew his
skill as a strategist and leader would be tested here. He couldn’t wait.

Deceit

Tani was on her knees. She could no longer feel her body. In
fact she didn’t exist at all. With nothing left to live for it seemed easy
enough just to let herself fade away. Dematerialize. Vanish.

Sitri had remained close by, laughing and gossiping with her
ladies. Tani couldn’t fathom the fact that this woman’s own son was lying a few
feet away, dead, yet she was as cold as ice. Instead, she was triumphant as if
all her prayers had been answered in one fell swoop. A spark of anger burned
through the numbness that coated Tani’s skin. Maybe she did have something to
live for after all, even if it was only the hope of watching Sitri suffer as
she was suffering now. A burning sensation in her chest began sparking, embers
sizzling in an effort to build a fire. She felt the fire and with it an
all-consuming rage. Hatred. She had never truly hated anyone before but Sitri
she despised with a vehemence that made her body shake with uncontrollable
fury. Deep down in her bones, she knew with a certainty that shook her very
soul that somehow Sitri had played a part in Jaro’s death.

Footsteps sounded outside the chamber, announcing Phenex’s
arrival. His entourage in tow, the warlord entered the room glowering, his face
a dark thundercloud. “Why have I been called here, my lady?” Irritation plain,
he crossed his arms over his massive chest, turning his head between Sitri and
Tani, demanding an explanation. Sitri appeared discomforted for a moment at the
harsh light in his eyes. Her lord was not so bewitched by her that he would
acquiesce to her demands easily.

“Well, my lord,” said Sitri, walking toward him, the sway of
her hips designed to entrance. Her tone set to beguile, she spoke lightly and
Tani immediately sensed that her words were laced with a persuasive charm. She
recognized it for what it was. The power of persuasion, a rare power, much
sought after but also feared for the obvious control the possessor of it could
wield. Now it made sense how Sitri had inveigled her way into this position and
the way her sons, particularly Lorcan, seemed so bound to her whims. “It seems
your new mistress was entertaining last night,” Sitri continued, reaching
Phenex, pressing her palm against his chest. “Apparently she didn’t care that
much for the company.” She gestured toward the bed at the limp form that lay
there.

Phenex drew his brows together, anger rolling off his skin. “Who
is it?”

“She has very poor taste,” laughed Sitri. “It is…was your
slave—Jaro.” She turned toward Tani, a triumphant expression crossing her
beautiful features.

Phenex raised his eyes from the body, his expression one of
confusion. “That cannot be,” he said, shaking his head, sounding very sure.
Sitri paused, her laughter stifled by the certainty in Phenex’s voice. She
turned toward him slowly. “What do you mean?” For a moment Tani thought she saw
a spark of fear flash in her eyes.

His next words were a benediction. “I just this moment left
Jaro training in the pits. He’s going to meet me tomorrow in battle. I want to
see how that dog fights.” His eyes turned back to the corpse on the bed. “That
is not Jaro.”

Sitri’s eyes clouded over, and she shook her head. Tani
could hardly breathe. If Jaro was alive, then the man in her bed… It was then
that she registered the man’s clothing—the rich brocade of an aristocrat, not
the fighting garb of a slave-gladiator.

Sitri must have reached the same conclusion. Dropping to her
knees, hands beating her chest, she expelled an anguished cry that shredded the
thick weight of tension in the air. “No! It cannot be…Lorcan! Lorcan!” Sitri
lunged toward the corpse and turned it over. Dull, lifeless gray eyes stared
back. Her body sagged for a second but then she twisted around in a flash, her
wild gaze finding Tani. She screamed a high-pitched sound that shattered the
glass she still held in her hand. “You bitch. You’ve killed my son! It was
meant to be you—you and the slave!”

Brandishing the broken stem of the glass like a knife, Sitri
charged at Tani, a ball of fury so full of hatred it took all four guards to
pull her off. Finally subduing her, they pushed her to her knees before Phenex.
She continued to spit curses and wail, although shedding no tears, while the
assembled spectators stared in horror as the import of her words penetrated and
the meaning became clear.

Sitri’s words rang loud in Tani’s ears, her instincts had
been correct. “It was you!” Tani cried, still shocked by the revelation. “You
did this. You wanted it to be Jaro. You even knew what poison it was.”

The wailing woman stared at her with demented eyes, her
crazed expression wild with uncontrolled venom. “Of course I did it, you bitch!”
she howled, the floodgates opened wide. Sitri’s rage consumed her so that she
had no filter when it came to exposing herself and what she had done. It all
came out. She had set the whole thing up, drugged Tani’s wine in order to
implicate her in the murder. She had used the power of persuasion on Tani to
ensure that when Jaro arrived, she would open the poisoned bottle for him to
drink. But Lorcan had been a glitch in her plans. Sitri obviously hadn’t
expected him to visit Tani but it seemed that for some reason he had.

Tani found herself shivering as she thought back to his
arrival, suddenly realizing why he had come to her.

Sitri was still ranting. “I urged Jaro to go to you. He
should have visited you last night. Not Lorcan!” she spat. “Lorcan was an idiot
and Jaro—Jaro never did as he was told. I should have drowned them both at
birth!”

Tani was repulsed by Sitri’s words. She had used her sons as
pawns in her sick power games. She was truly evil. Tani could only thank Gaia
that Jaro had been too strong-minded to follow his mother’s persuasion and had resisted
her urgings. As for Lorcan, in her mind he had got what he deserved. No doubt
he had arrived full of jealousy, pretending to be Jaro and would have forced
himself on her if she had been in her right mind. If not for Sitri’s poison—she
shuddered to think what would have happened, nausea rising in her throat. He
had tried to seduce her, pretending to be Jaro and that deception had cost him
his life. Surprisingly it seemed that she had something to thank Sitri for. Her
heart soared with the knowledge that Jaro still lived. She could still save
him.

Phenex appeared as horrified as Tani by Sitri’s disclosure,
his mood darkening with every word she spoke. “Lock her in the dungeon!” He
waved to his guards and they dragged a still-howling Sitri away.

Turning to Tani, who was still on her knees, held steady
between two guards, Phenex stared down at her intently, his heavy brows drawing
into a frown. “Lady Tanith,” he said, gesturing the guards to release her. She
rose unsteadily to her feet. “It seems that you are not guilty of this crime.”
His eyes went to the bed. “However, you were entertaining a male.” Her eyes
dropped. Tani knew she needed to play this carefully. She was still unsure how
much Phenex knew about her Esseni status but she did know he wanted her. To
achieve her ultimate goal of liberating Jaro, she had to stay close to Phenex. “I
was drugged, my lord, and under a persuasion spell.”

He drew near and slid his large hand down her arm to capture
her wrist, pulling her close. “That may be true,” he whispered into her ear, “but
I own you now, Tanith Laska, and I do not share my property with others.”
Phenex released her and stepped back. “You will take Sitri’s place tomorrow at
the fights. We will celebrate our engagement. Congratulations, Tanith Laska, I
have decided to take you as my bride.”

* * * * *

Jaro pounced on his opponent, holding nothing back. He heard
yelling in the background as he continued to train and registered movement in
his peripheral vision when Phenex and his entourage moved away. A bone-crunching
smack to his jaw. His sparring partner’s eyes widened in surprise that he had
managed to finally make contact. Jaro spat blood. His muscles ached but the
pain was nothing. He wanted more of it. He welcomed it. Nothing could compare
to the agony he had suffered last night.

After his mother left his cell, Jaro had spent hours
debating what to do. Should he go to her? Why had his mother come to him? In
the end the compulsion to go to Tani was too strong to ignore. He ground his
teeth, remembering the sizzle of anticipation burning through his veins as he
pushed open the door to her room slowly so as not to frighten her, the key his
mother had given him burning heavily in his palm.

His mother had said that Tani would be expecting him and
again he wondered why she hadn’t just visited him in his cell like before. His
heart beat faster with every step he took in her direction. Tani was his
heartbeat. He knew it as surely as he knew the three Ophiuchi suns would rise
every morn and fall every eve. He just had to make her see it. Knowing that she
cared for him but that she still believed Lorcan her Esseni partner was ripping
his soul to shreds. He had to make her see the truth, that Lorcan could not be
trusted. His mother had given him this chance and he would use it. Strangely
his mother had also made him believe that perhaps she had changed. But then
again, how could he possibly trust his mother?

The living room was empty but as he entered, Jaro heard a
faint sound from within the bedchamber. Tani’s voice. It sounded strange,
slightly slurred. A man’s voice replied and Jaro drew in a deep gulp of air at
the sound of the masculine tones. It couldn’t be, could it? He drew closer, not
wanting to look but knowing he needed to verify the truth.

“Drink,” he heard her say, “then make love to me.” The words
tore like bullets into his flesh, giving him no chance to recover before his
eyes watched the painful scene unfolding in Technicolor before him. He watched
as Tani’s lover, his brother, drank from a wineglass and then kissed her,
lowering her lithe form to the bed. He watched her wrap her arms around him and
pull his body closer as she kissed him back. He watched until he could watch no
more.

Rage. Fury. Hatred. Not just for Lorcan but for her. She’d
lied to him. Played him for a fool. She had made love to him not long ago and
now she was with his brother! How could he have believed in her? He would have
sold his soul to the devil ten times over and agreed to spend eternity in hell
for just one more kiss. He would hate her forever because even witnessing what
he had, he still couldn’t help loving her. No. It wasn’t her he hated. It was
himself that he could think for even a minute that she would want someone like
him.

Lies. Deceit. Betrayal. It was enough. No more. There was
only one thing left for him to do now, only one thing he could do now. Jaro
turned his eyes, still burning from the sight of her on the bed with his
brother, red hair splayed across the pillow, moans of passion vibrating in his
ears. It was over. She was dead to him and he had no brother. It took all he
had to walk away but he did it knowing he would be back and when he returned he
would make them pay. He would wreak havoc on them all.

Blood surged through his veins, every cell burning with rage
bubbling under the surface, his barghesti self itching to break through. Jaro
returned to the present to find his sparring partner an unconscious bloody mess
lying at his feet. In the distance he became aware of a surge of tension flying
through the air. Guards running in all directions and gruff shouts from the
balcony surrounding the arena. Gradually the sounds formed into words. Words
that turned Jaro’s world on its axis. Lorcan Rodach was dead. Murdered. His
mother and Tanith Laska implicated in the crime. Jaro’s legs gave way and he
fell to his knees.

Sacrifice

The arena was full to capacity the following evening. It
seemed the whole of Serpens had turned out, wanting to watch a barghesti fight.
Anticipation swirled thickly in the air, a tangible weight so thick a knife
could cut through it. Tani had no doubt that the frenzied interest of the crowd
was because the barghesti involved was Jaro and his opponent was Phenex.

She had been kept secluded all day, a guard constantly
posted outside her door but she could still feel the tension that blanketed the
city, the emotions of the population so strong her skin prickled with heat all
day.

Phenex had left her alone in order to train and she had no
way of getting a message to Jaro or the Eunomi. She didn’t even know if news of
her engagement was common knowledge yet. What it did mean was that she could at
some point get close enough to Phenex that she could kill him, but that hope
was futile if he fought and killed Jaro first or, Gaia forbid, if Jaro killed
him. Fear kept her in a high state of alert until finally, after being bathed and
dressed by two of the ladies-in-waiting, Tanith was finally led into the arena.
She found herself sitting to the right of Phenex in the seat previously
reserved for Sitri. It was a blatant show of ownership and the assembled throng
could not fail to understand what it meant.

News of Sitri’s disgrace had spread like wildfire. So unpopular
was she that Tani’s presence at Phenex’s side was met with a few cheers from
the crowd, happy that their overlord’s former mistress had been toppled from
her position of power. It was clear she had been hated and it was also clear
that the citizens of Serpens were curious about the new woman at their master’s
side.

Tani met the speculative glances with what she hoped was
blank indifference. Her emotional state was fragile. She still felt numb from
the pain of having believed Jaro was dead but at the same time fear kept a
steady hand, clawing in her chest every time she considered the upcoming fight
and the possible outcomes. Fighting to project impartiality and give Phenex no
cause to suspect the strength of her feelings toward his opponent was a strain
on her resolve. Seeing Lorcan dead at her feet, thinking he was Jaro, had
shaken her to the core and no matter her loathing for his actions, he had been
a part of Jaro and for some reason Jaro had sought to protect him. She couldn’t
begin to process how he must be feeling and the fact that his mother was
responsible. Tani just needed to see him. To reassure him. To reforge the
connection that was still there but had faded to a faint throb rather than the
pulsing static buzz that had existed between them previously.

She registered his presence the moment he entered the arena.
Not just because the cheers of the crowd were so loud the roof was nearly
elevated from the force of their cries but because of the sudden quickening of
her pulse and the mad dash of blood through her veins. He was escorted by a
large contingent of shedu guards and accompanying warloki who were frantically
chanting whatever suppression or shielding spells were needed to keep him from
shifting and ensure the safety of the crowd. Tani could barely make out
anything other than his dark head until they reached the center of the space
and finally he came into view. The escort parted to leave Jaro standing alone. He
was breathtaking. Tani was not alone in her awe at the sight of him, a ripple
of gasps spreading through the crowd in admiration of the warrior standing
before them.

Jaro as always stood proud, a defiant rock in the midst of a
swirling sea of sycophants. He was dissension, the thorn in Phenex’s side. The
one man who dared to defy his overlord time and time again. Phenex knew it. All
of Serpens knew it. Tani’s blood heated as she drank in her first sight of him
in days, his athletic frame taut, a coiled spring ready to unravel at a moment’s
notice. He was barefoot and wore nothing but a loincloth, his skin a sun-kissed
caramel glistening with the oils warriors used to accentuate their muscular
attributes. And his were utter perfection. Corded ridges defined abdominals
that Tani knew from experience were rock hard. The delicious V where hips met
groin leading to muscled thighs, curved with contours that spoke of hours of
training. His broad chest cut by chiseled pectorals and arms that held strength
that could not only cause damage but were also a haven of safety. Fists
clenched, lines straining his forearms, his warrior blood seeping from every
pore. Phenex had allowed him no weapon, his barghesti form to be his only
ammunition in this fight.

Her eyes were drawn to his face and what she found there was
pure darkness. The seething hatred she had encountered the first time she saw
him in the battles had multiplied a thousandfold. Tani struggled against the
waves of anger rolling off him to grasp fraying threads and sought to forge a
connection that had once seemed so strong. His resistance was a battering ram
to her soul. He lashed out in fury and shredded her to pieces. She could only
imagine what he must be thinking. Did he blame her for Lorcan’s death? Did he
think she was at Phenex’s side willingly? Tani tried to soothe his pain with
her comforting embrace but to no avail. Jaro stood impenetrable before her.
Fear gnawed her heart as she realized what Jaro meant to do. He was resolved to
win this fight and in doing so he would die.

Jaro tried to control his anger, knowing this would be his
only chance to succeed in his quest for vengeance. His only chance to pay
Phenex back for the years of torture he had inflicted, not just on him but on
thousands of innocents who were also tied to him through the bonds of slavery.
The urge to transform roared to life, urgent and explosive. Damn Phenex! Jaro
was a performing animal, a pet on a leash. If this was to be the remainder of
his existence then he would make sure it was a short one by making sure he took
Phenex down. Death could not be worse than the hell he was in now.

No matter how much he tried to focus his fury, his never-ending
rage—there was always something within, buried deep that surfaced—a compassion
that led him to lay himself bare for others. The masochistic vein of pity that
cast him as a sacrificial lamb. He had done the same thing time and time again.
He remembered Tyr Bellor and his woman. He should have killed them both but
that spark in his gut would not allow it and he had been punished for it. Other
faces scrolled through his memory as other recollections of times when he
should have focused on himself instead of others came into view. Damn it! He
was a world-class idiot but this ultimate sacrifice was worth it. Phenex could
not be allowed to continue his reign of terror.

A whisper of satin caressed his soul. It was her. Sitting at
Phenex’s right hand, her position announcing to all and sundry that she was now
his favored whore. She couldn’t have betrayed him. Could she? His brother was
dead, his mother accused of the murder and she was rewarded with Phenex’s hand.
The whole of Serpens knew she was to be his bride. No. She was the only truth
in his existence. The sight of her with his master, pure torture. He wanted to
believe she had been coerced into this position, that what he thought he’d seen
that night was an illusion. That she hadn’t fucked his brother. She was still
trying to offer him her blanket of compassion and love. His soul clawed at the
silky embrace, howling that her deception was a lie. His wanted to grab her and
never let her go. He hated that she made him feel this way. The best he could
do was to save her from Phenex but for her freedom he would sacrifice his life.

Phenex stood before him and waved the crowd to silence. He
wore full armor, a leather cuirass breastplate bearing his sigil of a
double-headed serpent twisting a knot around a sword. Vambraces and greaves
protecting his arms and legs, he carried a spear, sword and shield. It seemed
Jaro’s adversary was taking no chances. This was reinforced moments later when
two warloki approached Jaro, one chanting spells to keep him immobile. Jaro
fought their magick but it was too strong. As he struggled in vain, the other
warloki encased his ankle in a metal cuff with a length of chain that led to a
stake in the middle of the arena. The crowd roared when they saw what was
happening but whether their clamoring expressed their disapproval for the
restriction, Jaro couldn’t be sure. Phenex would deny him any advantage, but
his handicapping of Jaro revealed only his fear.

He looked toward his opponent. Phenex had his spear in hand
overhead, commanding the spectators to silence for the start of the battle.
Once the crowd had quieted, he spun to face Jaro, his expression one of
arrogance and superiority.

“Let’s see how this dog fights!” His cry reverberated around
the arena, whipping the already electric atmosphere to a static high. The crowd
echoed Phenex’s roar but Jaro’s attention was focused only on the one spectator
who mattered. Even though he had previously rejected her attempts to fix the
threads of their connection, they were still there, fragile and frayed and
almost at the breaking point. But not broken yet. It was as if neither one of
them was willing to let go, both clinging to something that had been doomed
from the very beginning. Love and Hate. Millimeters separating one from the
other but those millimeters were a great wall. Solid and impenetrable.

Jaro’s control was stretched tight. He didn’t know if he
could contain the violence that seethed beneath his skin, threatening to break
the surface. Heat spread through veins that bubbled, his blood hot lava thick
with rage. He could see her agitation. She was scared, as she should be. She
had driven him to this. For her he would become a monster. A black curtain
shrouded his vision, crimson splashes erupted, the beast inside spinning out of
control.

Before Phenex could give the order to lift the suppression
spell, a commotion at the entrance to arena drew the crowd’s attention. A
contingent of shedu, Phenex’s personal guard, charged forward, seeking their
overlord. “My Lord Phenex!” The leader’s voice held the crowd’s disappointment
at bay. It was obvious his news was momentous. “Belial’s army is approaching
the city, five thousand strong and more on the way.” Those words caused a
tsunami, the crowd surging as fear and panic spread.

Phenex’s expression was one of shock. A fragile truce had
existed between the two warlords but was apparently no match for the hatred
that lay between them. Belial’s recent humiliation and failed kidnapping of
Tanith Laska had given him the impetus to strike. He wanted retribution.

Jaro watched the ensuing pandemonium from the center of the
arena. He alone remained still while all around him spun in motion. Phenex was
barking orders, the spectators scrambling to leave and return to their homes.
With Belial’s army at their door, a barghesti fight was of little importance. He
was forgotten. But not by all. His gaze locked on to the redhead as hers locked
on to his. For a brief moment he felt his soul, all his years of existence
solidify and fuse with the vibrancy that was this woman. She was the spark, the
catalyst, his raison d’être. The commotion ceased to exist and his only reality
was her. He saw her move forward, as if she were considering running to him and
his heart swelled with that foreign emotion that kept tantalizing his mind.
Hope.

But hope was dashed when he watched her falter and turn to
Phenex. Reality broke the spell and he flinched, anticipating a fresh betrayal.
At the same time he felt a lightness in his cells as pressure lifted and he
realized Phenex’s warloki must be distracted. Their suppression spells were
weakening and his body began to take back control. This was it. His chance to
shift. The barghesti inside howled in triumph. He would kill Phenex and then it
would be over. He would die and she would be lost to him. Jaro’s eyes focused
on his prey.