Ravensong (13 page)

“
You aren’t much of a
drinker. You nursed that one beer all night.”

Joshua looked down at the
table. “My real father was a mean drunk. Every time I saw him as a
kid, he’d wind up putting me in the hospital. I swore I’d never be
like that. So I turned to drugs instead.”

Elena’s brow furrowed at
his words. “When did you see him last?”

“
Nine years ago when I was
in rehab. He came by to visit me and informed me that I was the
biggest disappointment in his life.” Joshua laughed bitterly. “I
told him to go to hell and he gave me a concussion.”

“
I’m sorry,” said Elena,
dropping her eyes.

Joshua shook his head in
annoyance. Damn it, why did he always feel like spilling his guts
when he was with her? He didn’t even tell his psychologist such
personal stuff.

Leaning on the table, he
forced her to look up at him. “I don’t want to talk about me
anymore.” He said it so softly, she had to lean closer to him to
hear. “Tell me how you met John.”

She looked down at her ring
guiltily. “John?”

He nodded. “John, your
fiancé.”

She seemed uncomfortable.
“John lives next door to one of the executives who worked at the
recording studio. We met last year at the Christmas party the exec
threw at his house.”

“
How long before he asked
you to marry him?”

Elena’s eyes widened, then
she laughed. “Second date.”

Joshua frowned in
amusement. “Second date? I guess he was real desperate.”

Elena feigned insult.
“Well, thank you very much, Mr. Ravensong,” she said, then grew
serious. “I think I should have gone in the limo.”

“
Why?”

Elena smiled. “You make me
forget my promises to myself.”

Joshua leaned forward
again. “Such as?”

Elena dropped her eyes.
“You know very well
such
as
. Anyway, why didn’t you offer to take
that blond home?”

For a moment he didn’t
remember what blond, then he smiled. So she had been jealous. “I
don’t usually take women home,” he said coyly.

She stared at him a moment
in surprise. “Oh, please. You’re not going to tell me your
reputation is all made up by the press.”

He understood her meaning
and laughed. “No, I don’t usually lie. I mean I usually don’t take
women to my home. They take me to theirs.”

Her eyes widened in
understanding. “I see.”

“
That way it’s easier to
leave when you want. Besides, I like keeping my home
private...until now.” The words were out before he could think
better of it. She flashed him another surprised look and he held
his breath waiting to see how she would react.

Her eyes locked with his
and he nervously licked at his lips. She followed the motion, then
broke the stare. “I keep wondering if we just let things happen,
maybe we’d get back on track and stop being so
distracted.”

It was Joshua’s turn to
blink in surprise. He rose to his feet and felt her green eyes
flash up to him. “Let’s go,” he said.

“
Where?” she said, grabbing
her purse and rising to her feet.

“
My house,” he answered,
crossing around the table without looking at her. He stopped and
faced the door, waiting to see what she’d do. She didn’t move for a
very long moment and he was beginning to think he knew nothing
about women, but then he heard her take a hesitant step.

Not allowing her to change
her mind, he grabbed her elbow and hurried her to the door.
Dominic, his bodyguard, would be pissed he’d snuck out on him, but
he’d explain it later. The San Francisco fog crept around them both
once they were outside and Joshua breathed deeply, allowing it to
cool his body. Her heels sounded loud in the stillness as they
crossed the parking lot to his car. He pulled the keys out of his
pocket and fumbled to unlock the passenger door.

Only when he’d opened the
door did he permit himself to look into her face. She was staring
at him with huge, dilated eyes, her pulse pounding furiously in her
throat.

“
Y-you’re serious about
this, aren’t you?” she said.

He swallowed and nodded.
“More serious than I’ve ever been, lady.”

She drew a deep breath and held it.
When she exhaled, Joshua could feel the warm fluttering of her
breath against his face. It was almost more than he could
stand.

“
Elena,” he said, shutting
his eyes, “I’ve never wanted a woman like I want you.”

She searched his face with
a look that was either pure terror or disbelief, he wasn’t sure.
“Did you really mean what you said in there? You’ve never taken a
woman to your home.”

“
Yes,” he said, “I
don’t usually stay the night. I’m not much for pretending things
are any different than what they are. I’m not the
hold me ‘til morning
type.” He grimaced as he spoke the words, hating himself for
being so honest with her.
Hell of a way to
seduce a woman, Josh,
he told
himself.

“
I see,” she said, dropping
her eyes.

Impulsively Joshua caught
her under the chin and lifted her face. “I’m not going to lie to
you, Elena. I’m not much good at relationships...” He stopped and
sighed. “Truth, I’m terrible at them. I’m not promising you
anything. But I know I’ve never been so obsessed with a woman
before. I think about you all the time. I just want a chance to
show you that life is so much more than playing it safe with a man
old enough to be your father.”

Tears threatened in her
eyes, but she blinked them away. “I haven’t stopped thinking about
you either and I keep wondering how I can even consider marrying
John when there’s this thing between us. Maybe I just need to have
one wild experience without expecting anything more so I can get
you out of my system.”

Joshua didn’t know why her
words made him feel like arguing with her. Isn’t it what he wanted?
A night with no promise of any more and then to walk away in the
morning without any guilt. Still, part of him bristled at the
casual way she was thinking about sleeping with him, until he
realized he usually thought the same way about all the women he
took to bed.

“
Right,” he said in a
forced light tone, “maybe that would allow us to get beyond this
physical attraction and really be friends.” He looked away. Shit,
it all sounded so clinical and cold.

Turning back to her, he caught her by
the shoulders and pulled her against him, lowering his mouth and
capturing hers. She gasped against him, then gave in to the kiss,
parting her lips and accepting the urgent probing of his tongue. He
drew back just enough to look into her glittering eyes.

“
Are you ready?”

She swallowed, then lowered
her eyes to his lips again. “Yes,” she said.

CHAPTER 6

Elena’s heart was hammering and her
palms felt sweaty. Oh God, what had she agreed to do? She glanced
at Joshua from the corner of her eyes. Since they’d left the pizza
parlor, he hadn’t said anything to her. She looked down at the
speedometer. He’d been keeping to speeds of seventy since they got
onto the bridge.

She’d never had a one night stand
before. What the hell was she thinking? This was Joshua Ravensong.
The man had bedded more women than she cared to believe.

Shaking her head, she shut her eyes
and tried to relax. Oh God, what was she doing? She’d so casually
agreed to go home with him as if this was something she did every
day. She couldn’t look down at her engagement ring for all the
guilt she felt. She knew she was betraying John’s trust, so why
didn’t she call it off?

She looked at the rock star sitting
next to her again. He was so damn handsome and he knew it. She had
watched him flash a lazy smile at those two blonds, knowing he
could have them if he wanted. They’d melted under his absent
attention like ice in the sun. It was disgusting. But she was no
better. When he gave her one of those looks that made her wonder if
she’d forgotten to dress, she thought the most wanton
thoughts.

Her heart beat faster. God, this was
wrong. She was truly terrified of what she’d agreed to do. She
hadn’t been with a man since...no, she wouldn’t allow herself to
think about that now. There was a world of difference between
agreeing to sleep with a man and...

Before she could get her thoughts
under control, he pulled into the driveway of a large, handsome
white house. She glanced frantically out the window at the quiet
neighborhood with its white houses and wrought iron fences. It
wasn’t what she’d expected from Joshua. Looking through the window,
she marveled again at the opulent beauty of his home with the ivy
growing up the front of it and the columned entrance. He turned in
the seat and looked at her.

“
It’s beautiful,” she
breathed, her heart thudding loud enough for him to
hear.

“
It backs up to the ocean,”
he said, looking up at it, pride evident in his voice.

“
I didn’t...I mean it’s not
what...” She paused, not sure she wouldn’t offend him.

“
It’s not what you’d
expected?”

She nodded.

He gave her a wry smile. “That’s what
my neighbors thought. I worried they’d burn a cross in my front
yard at first, but when I didn’t have any drug parties or hookers
over, they learned to accept me.”

She looked down, unable to meet his
gaze. He was silent for a moment, then reached for the handle on
the door. “Come on,” he said brightly. “Let’s go for a walk on the
beach.”

She lifted her eyes to him gratefully
and opened the door, stepping into the cool ocean breeze. He held
his hand out to her and she took it, following him to the side of
the house. He pulled out his keys and unlocked the gate. She moved
closer to him, feeling a little uneasy in the darkness, but he led
her surely around the side of the house and out onto the
beach.

She gasped in delight, taking in the
pounding surf and the enormous extent of clean sand. He led her
down to the breakers and she turned around, staring at the backs of
the houses with their intricate balconies and myriad of
windows.

“
Oh, Joshua, this is so
beautiful.”

He smiled at her, turning to look out
over the surf. She moved close beside him, surprisingly glad for
his warmth. “When I saw this view, I just had to have the house, no
matter how much the neighbors hated me.” He looked down at her with
a wistful smile. “You should see Tiffany out here. God, she loves
it so much.”

“
Why don’t you have her
this weekend?”

His jaw hardened. “Terry’s punishing
one of us, I’m just not sure which one.”

“
I’m sorry,” she said, but
he shrugged.

“
That’s life as they say.
Come on.”

He caught her hand and pulled her with
him down the beach, away from his house. He took her to an outcrop
of boulders and helped her climb to the top. They took a seat and
looked out over the waves. Elena threw back her head and allowed
the ocean spray to bathe her face and gather in her bound hair. She
felt Joshua’s eyes on her and looked down.

“
I’ve always loved the
ocean. When I was younger, I’d come to the beach whenever I was
upset about something and think it through.”

Joshua smiled. “That’s what I do now.”
Then his look became introspective. “Why are you afraid of the
dark, Elena?”

She was stunned. “Why do you say
that?”

“
The night at your place
when you opened the door, I knew you were afraid to go inside and
tonight at the gate, I felt the tension in your body when you saw
how dark it was.”

She wrapped her arms around
her knees and hugged them. “It’s not that. It’s just a woman
alone...” She couldn’t finish. He didn’t press her.

Reaching out, his fingers brushed
lightly across her hair. “I keep remembering the morning that I saw
you sweeping up glass with this mane of hair falling all around
your shoulders.”

His questing fingers found the tie and
he gently worked it free. Her hair fell down around her in a
sensual wave, tickling her face. Joshua leaned close and breathed
deeply of the scent. His body brushing against her sent a wave of
longing through her. Suddenly she knew she wanted this night more
than she’d ever wanted anything else.

She turned to him. “I keep remembering
your hair loose,” she said, fingering a strand that had fallen over
his shoulder. It was so black and silky. Impulsively she reached
for the braid and unbound it, running her fingers through the dense
wealth of his hair.

He watched her with narrowed eyes,
then caught her hand and brought it to his mouth. Slowly he kissed
each of her fingers, his tongue running sensually over the tips.
Elena shuddered and parted her lips.

“
Come on,” he said huskily,
pulling her to her feet. She swayed against him. He half-carried
her down from the boulders and then once on the sand, he put his
arm around her waist and held her close. Elena found herself
sinking into his arms, wishing it wasn’t so far back to his
house.