Ravensong (27 page)

“
I think you are the band –
the four of you. Ravensong is a novelty…was a novelty. His time is
coming to an end.”

“
And yet we’re drawing
bigger crowds with every concert. How do you explain that?” said
Robert, leaning back in his chair.

“
Avalanche
has made the big time, Bob –
Avalanche
, not
Ravensong.”

“
Ravensong is
Avalanche
,” said
Ralph.

Julian’s eyes whipped to
his face. “No, he isn’t. They don’t come to see him. They come to
see you.”

This was where Ralph
usually lapsed into a sarcastic retort, but not this time. He
leaned forward on the table and glared at Julian. “You aren’t that
stupid. Why do you say such stupid things?
Avalanche
was nothing before Joshua
and it’ll be nothing after him. I agree with Bob. This whole
meeting sucks. I hate the whole thing.”

Julian didn’t answer for a moment,
simply stared at Ralph. Elena realized she was holding her breath.
She wondered which hand Julian would play next. His eyes moved
around the table to Elliot.

“
Is that right,
Elliot? Is
Avalanche
just the backup band for a two-bit junkie and
whore-monger?”

Elliot shot to his feet, startling
everyone. He whipped away from the table, knocking over his chair,
and moved to the windows, looking out onto the street. Elena
studied the tight angle of his back, then shifted in her chair and
gave Julian a cold stare.

“
If you call him a junkie
or any other names again, I will walk out of here and never return.
I told you my personal life was off limits. Since that now involves
Joshua, his personal life is also banned. Do not bring it up
again.”

Julian gave her a chilling smile.
“Fine, you win, but that doesn’t change my position. Ravensong has
driven the band apart. He is the cause and therefore, he’s the one
that must go.”

Michael shut his eyes and heaved a
weary sigh. Robert and Ralph exchanged disgusted looks. Only Elliot
gave no indication as to what he was thinking. Elena felt sick
inside, and responsible. She’d made Joshua keep this secret just to
protect her job. She needed Elliot to know that. She needed a
chance to talk to him before this went any farther.

“
I say we take a vote,”
said Julian, interrupting her thoughts. “We’ll vote on it and the
majority will prevail.” His gaze shifted to Elena. “Obviously, you
will have to abstain since you’re so intimately involved in
this.”

“
So is Elliot,” snapped
Ralph. “Are you going to eliminate him?”

“
Only those sharing a bed
with the man in question. That’s a lot more intimate than anyone
else, Ralph.”

Ralph shook his head and looked
away.

Robert’s fingers drummed on the table.
“This is a hell of a time to do this, Julian.” His gaze narrowed on
the manager. “But I suspect you know that.”

“
I’m acting in the best
interest of the band. That’s all I’m doing, Bob.”

“
Not by a long shot,”
returned the keyboardist. “If so, you’d wait for this to blow over.
This is low, Julian. Even for you.”

Julian shrugged. “You still have a
vote, my friend. Use it wisely.” He extended his arms. “Let’s not
discuss this anymore. I vote that Ravensong quit the band
immediately. Robert?”

“
No,” he answered, glaring
at Julian.

“
Ralph?”

“
No,” said Ralph without
hesitation.

“
Fine. Michael?”

Michael squirmed in his seat. “I don’t
like this, Julian. It doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to be part
of this.”

“
God’s blood, grow a pair,
Michael. Shit. Why can’t you ever make up your mind?”

Michael shrank in on
himself.

“
Back off, Julian,” snapped
Ralph.

“
Just make a decision,
Michael,” Julian persisted. “Yes or no.”

“
I’m not going to vote. I
won’t be a part of this. It’s wrong. It’s always been wrong. How
can you use Joshua the way you do, but never give him a voting role
in the band?”

“
That isn’t up for
discussion. He’s not a voting member. He’s not a co-owner, but you
are. As a co-owner, you have an obligation to help us make this
decision. Vote, damn it.”

“
No, I won’t.”

Julian raked a hand through his hair.
“Fine. Don’t vote, you spineless prick, but you’re going to be the
tie-breaker. If you refuse, then I get a second vote in lieu of
David’s absence.” The others started to protest, but Julian held up
a hand. “I gave him a choice. This has to be decided today. He can
either act like a man and vote, or I make the decision.”

They continued to mutter, but Julian
turned to Elliot.

“
Your turn. How do you
vote? Does Ravensong go or stay?”

Elliot looked over his shoulder. His
eyes made a circuit of the table, glancing briefly at Elena, then
sliding away.

“
You don’t have to do this
right now, El,” said Robert.

Elliot made a scoffing noise. “Like
you didn’t have to tell me what you obviously knew? Some friend you
are, Bob.”

“
It wasn’t like that, El…”
began Robert, but Elliot looked away from him.

Elena felt her heart sink. Elliot was
too hurt at the moment to think this through clearly. Julian had
planned it all so perfectly, as if he knew the outcome of this
game.

“
Well, Elliot? Stay or go?
Cast your vote?”

“
Elliot…” began
Robert.

Elliot shot him a furious look, then
faced Julian. “Stay,” he said, then strode for the door.

* * *

Joshua paused on the edge of the stage
and watched Elliot trying to tune his guitar. Elliot was frowning
in annoyance. He hated to spend the time it took to really get each
string in key. He had too volatile a personality for such fine,
aggravating work.

Joshua moved onto the stage. “I’ll
tune it,” he offered.

Elliot didn’t even look up at him. “Go
to hell,” he muttered under his breath.

Joshua came to halt, stunned. Elliot
had never talked to him like that before. “El, listen to
me.”

Elliot’s head snapped up and fixed on
Joshua’s face. “Nothing you say will ever make this okay. We’re
done.”

“
I see.”

“
No, you don’t see
anything. Was it just because I wanted her? Did you really have to
show me that I couldn’t compete? I knew that already. You didn’t
have to prove it to me.” His features contorted. “Was it worth it?
Really, was it worth the loss of our friendship, the breakup of the
band? Was it worth it just to show me?”

Joshua drew a deep breath and exhaled.
“I love her, El,” he said.

Elliot blink in surprise and his hands
tightened on the guitar. “What?”

“
You heard me. I didn’t
want to hurt our friendship, I didn’t want to break up the band. I
should have told you, but it didn’t have anything else to do with
you. It had to do with me and her. I love her and I’m not going to
apologize for that.”

Without another word, Joshua turned on
his heel and left the stage.

* * *

Standing in the wings,
watching
Rage
perform, Joshua couldn’t deny his shoulders tensed whenever
the crowd surged toward the stage. Once or twice a fan had climbed
onto the stage in a past concert, but never like the show where
he’d been knocked to the ground. His memory of the event was hazy.
The doctor said concussions sometimes caused memory loss, but he
could clearly recall the moment before they made it to the
stage.

It had been a moment of surreal
clarity. Bodies writhing, swarming, then colliding. He’d felt their
hands on him, tearing at his clothes, reaching for his hair.
Somewhere in his mind, he’d known he should try to stay on his
feet, but the weight of them had forced him back and then his shoes
had slipped on the stage.

He tried to twist and break his fall,
but he’d smacked his head on the edge of Michael’s elevated
platform and beyond that everything had become unclear. Except one
thing. Elliot’s voice in his ear, Elliot’s shoulder bracing him,
Elliot’s strength pushing through the crowd. Elliot.

Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply.
He hated the rift between him and Elliot. He didn’t count many
people as friends, but Elliot had been one, closer even. Elliot was
family. And Joshua didn’t know how to fix it. He wasn’t going to
give up Elena and he wasn’t going to apologize for their
relationship. He couldn’t even tell Elliot that he’d kept the
secret because of her job. He wouldn’t put any of the blame on her,
but still, it was hard to see Elliot everyday and not be able to
talk with him as he had in the past.

Joshua opened his eyes
as
Rage
took their
final bow and the lights went out on the stage. The band members
crowded into the wings around him, laughing and joking in an
adrenaline rush. The crowd was chanting, demanding an
encore.

“
Man, that’s wild,” said
Evan, throwing his arm around Joshua’s shoulder. “Better than any
drug.”

Joshua offered him a half-hearted
smile.

The cacophony grew. People stomped
their feet, shouted, clapped their hands together. Joshua
understood what Evan was feeling. He’d felt it so many times
before. It was intoxicating to have your name chanted by thousands
of people, and yet, he found himself shifting uneasily.

The other band members started moving
toward the stage and the house lights came up. Evan turned to
Joshua. “Do the encore with us. You can use my guitar.”

Joshua shook his head, panic suddenly
filling him.

“
Come on. Give them a
treat. They’ll go crazy!”

Joshua glanced over his
shoulder at the
Avalanche
band members. They were sitting around the
backstage area, watching him. He couldn’t read their expressions,
but he didn’t think they’d appreciate him playing for another band
right now when their band was in jeopardy.

“
Not a good idea,
Evan,” he said, nodding at
Avalanche
.

Evan studied them also. “I guess
you’re right,” he said. Then he slapped Joshua on the shoulder and
stepped into the spotlight.

Joshua shifted so he could
watch the crowd. They were moving in abandon, waving their arms in
the air, and bopping to the pulsing thrum of
Rage’s
sound.

“
It’s got to make you
think,” came a voice behind him.

Joshua tensed, his jaw
clenching.

“
The music makes them act
like animals. Look at them, they don’t even know where they
are.”

Joshua wasn’t going to turn and give
Julian the satisfaction of knowing he could hear him.

“
One moment they’re
civilized, the next, they’re like sharks who’ve smelt blood. And
once they’ve got a taste for human flesh, they will take any
opportunity that presents itself to devour you.”

Joshua could feel a cold sweat
breaking out across his forehead and he clenched his hands to stop
their trembling. God, he didn’t want Julian to know what he was
doing to him.

“
They say they love you.
They worship you like a god, but given the chance, they’ll tear you
apart. Isn’t that how it is, they all want a part of you, just a
small part? They take and take and soon nothing is
left.”

Joshua realized he was starting to
breathe faster. He had to slow his heart rate.

“
God, look at them, just
look. Any opening and they’ll be up there on the stage, and they
won’t care who they take out. Remember…remember what it felt like.
Their hands tearing at you, trying to get a piece, their bodies
smothering you…”

Joshua whipped away,
knocking Julian back. The other
Avalanche
members were a blur as he
headed for the bathroom. Dominic’s voice buzzed in his head, but he
slammed the door shut behind him and fumbled to lock it.

Moving to the sink, he turned the
handle on the cold water as far as he could, watching the water
pour into the bowl, then he thrust his hands into it and filled
them, bending to throw it into his face. The cold startled him and
he gasped, but he cupped some more and washed his face with
it.

His hands were trembling as he turned
off the nozzle, his legs weak beneath him. He leaned on the wall
beside the sink and slid down until he was sitting on the floor.
Letting his hands dangle over his knees, he stared at the scars on
his wrist.

Why had he let Julian unsettle him
like that? He knew Julian had achieved exactly what he
wanted.

A loud knock on the door startled him
and set his heart to pounding again.

“
You okay, man,” shouted
Dominic.