Reasons to Leave (Reasons #1) (33 page)

Ah so this is Miles. The ex-husband.

Miles’ eyes were wild with determination. “Tell him we’re back together then…go on…tell him you still love me. He deserves to know the truth and you deserve better than him.”

Jason contorted his face in disgust. “You’re
back together
?” He ran his hands through his hair. “I’m such an idiot!” His voice was a strangled noise he didn’t recognise as himself.

Miles’ grin was sinister. “We were on our way upstairs, mate. We’d be together in
our bed
right now if you hadn’t showed up!” he barked at Jason only inches from his face.

“What?” Jason widened his eyes and stared at her.

She lunged at Miles and pushed him with as much force as she could. “Why are you doing this? Tell him you’re lying! Tell him we just said goodbye and that you've moved on! Don’t do this to me, Miles! If you care for me like you say you do, then don’t
do
this to me! Please tell him!” Desperation filled her voice and she clung to his coat.

Miles smiled evilly. “Sorry, mate, it’s true. We’ve been sleeping together for weeks…working things out like married couples do, you know.” He made a patronising running gesture with two fingers. “So you’d better run along on back to God knows where you came from and get on with
your
life, because she’s mine!” His face was beet red, and saliva shot from his mouth like a rabid dog as aggression oozed from every pore.

Jason laughed humourlessly, shook his head, and turned to walk away. She slapped Miles hard across the face. “You idiot! After everything you just said to me in there! Why are you doing this now? To prove a point? There are no points to prove! What about Charlie? You admitted we were over! We are DIVORCED and it’s MY bed! I
hate
you right now! If you loved me like you say you do, you would never have done such a cruel and heartless thing! You’d just let me go instead of clinging on and making my life a misery. Because that’s what you do, Miles. You make me
miserable!
Just leave and don’t
ever
come to see me again! If you do, I
swear
I’ll get a restraining order against you!” she sobbed. Jason carried on walking, but her bare footsteps slapped on the pavement as she jogged after him.

“Jason! Please!” He stopped again. The thought crossed his mind that perhaps Miles
was
lying to get him out of Stevie's life. Her reaction had been so dramatic. Was it an elaborate cover up? She reached him and pulled his body around so that he would face her. “Jason, he’s lying. I swear to you. Please. He came to tell me he's met someone else and that he knows we'll never get back together. I don’t love him anymore; that’s why I divorced him. There is
no way
I’m getting back together with him. He's just trying to protect me in his own stupid way...that's all. He doesn't want me to get hurt again and thinks if you're not here that I won't. I don't want him, Jason. I need you to know that. Please, come back to the house.” She cupped his face in her palms.

He could see the truth like a beacon of light in her eyes. But it changed nothing. The sad, painful realisation had hit. His jaw ached from clenching. “The stupid thing is, Stevie... You may not be
his
, but you’re not
mine
either. We’re…temporary…a fling. It hurts too much, and I have enough to deal with right now.”

“Look, you’ve just been through a very emotional talk with Dillon. Just come back and talk. Or just sit and don’t talk. Either way…please, just come back.”

Jason glanced back toward her house where Miles still stood, anger rolling off him in almost tangible waves. “He loves you so much. Why don’t you just give him a chance? He’s fighting for you. And he’s here in London permanently. I’m not.”

“I don’t care, Jason. I don’t love him. I never really did and he knows that. He's met someone and he's moving on but he still cares about me and doesn't want to see me hurt. But I want to be here for
you
. Even if this
is
temporary.” Well, she had confirmed it again.

Temporary
.

She hadn’t contradicted him like he had hoped. But he had no fight left in him anymore. The long talk with Dillon had taken every ounce of emotional and physical strength he had left and had flushed it down the nearest drain. He was spent. He began to walk back with her.

As they got closer to the house, Miles shook his head, turned, and began to walk away. He stopped and turned back to face them. “The thing is, mate,
I’ll
be the one here when
you’ve
gone. And I
know
you’ll be leaving. It’s what you do apparently. And I’ll be the one who gets to pick up the pieces. I did it before and I can do it again. Just remember that.” He turned and left.

Back in the house, Jason could see that she was still shaking. He slumped onto the sofa and rested his head in his hands.

She sat beside him but didn’t touch him. “How bad was it? With Dillon I mean?”

“Like I said earlier after the phone call, open heart surgery without the anaesthetic would probably just about sum it up.”

“Oh dear. Did he believe you?”

“Eventually. Not at first, but the more I talked, the more he understood. Be honest with me…
completely
honest…do you still love your ex-husband? Because he clearly loves you fiercely, and I don’t want to be the guy to break that apart. If you love him I’ll walk—”

“Stop. I told you about me and Miles. I
don’t
love him. And I don’t want to talk about him. I want to hear how
you
are. I want to make the most of being with
you
.”

“But if you have nothing…no one here. Why can’t you come with me? Why can’t we try to make
us
work? I don’t understand. It’s not like we’re continents apart. It’s a few hundred miles. It’s
nothing
. Not if we love each other.”

She sighed heavily. “Jason, we’ve been through all of this. I don’t
want
a long distance thing. They simply don’t work. And it’s over
five hundred
miles. It’s not
nothing
. Plus my mum n—erm...is here too and I love my job. I love
being
here. London is an amazing place. You could love it too if you gave it a chance. You could sell up and move back here now that…now that Mick’s gone.”

“And do what? My business is in Scotland. My
home
is there. I
belong
there. I don’t belong here. I never really did.”

“But you said you belong with me. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

“Of course it does. But just being here…it’s…I can’t…”

Her face lit up suddenly. “Let’s go out. Let me show you how things have changed here. All the things you ran from have gone now. Don’t you see that? Let me try…please?”

He shook his head. “It won’t change my mind, Stevie. This place isn’t home for me. But I’m happy to spend time with you. Every second with you is precious. I sincerely hope you know that.”

She smiled. “So you’ll let me show you
my
London?”

“On one condition.”

“Oh? And what might that be?”

“That I take you on the bike.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The following day, Stevie sat on her sofa nervously picking at her nails. Jason was due to arrive any second. He had requested that she wear old jeans with leggings underneath, a thick jumper with a T-shirt under that, and a thick jacket too. She felt trussed up like a turkey on Christmas day. She had tried her best to get out of being Jason’s pillion passenger. Her favourite and
best
excuse was her lack of helmet. He had laughed heartily and told her it was no issue after all.

Dammit!

He hadn’t said much about the talk he’d had with Dillon. She got the impression he would talk when he was ready, and so she hadn’t pushed him. She knew that the situation had pained him and then witnessing the débâcle with Miles had just about finished him off. Thankfully, she had been able to convince him that the whole scenario was Miles’ back to front way of looking out for her. Not that any of it mattered. At some point, he was determined to go back up north.

The roar of a motorbike engine rumbled outside, and her heart almost leapt out of her chest.
Oh no…oh no…why did I agree to this?
The anticipated knock on the door came loud and clear, and she nervously made her way to answer it.

Jason stood beaming at her in his black leathers, looking incredibly hot—in all senses of the word. His hair was tied back in a messy ponytail at the back of his head and sweat beaded above his brow. She wanted to lick it off and peel him out of his clothing. Her nipples stood to attention, but luckily it wasn’t obvious, thanks to the number of layers making her feel like the Michelin Man.
Good grief, Stevie, get a grip!
She forgot how to speak for a moment.

He grinned at her knowingly, and her legs almost gave way beneath her.
Probably nerves…nothing to do with that smile…or lust…or the fact that under those leathers he’s toned…tight…tempting…oh shit.

He gestured to the bike. “You ready to go?”

“Erm…I can’t do this, and besides I told you yesterday I don’t have a helmet so—”

“Ta-daaaa!” Jason held out a brand new helmet complete with teddy bear ears.

She stared open mouthed, but this time it was at the ridiculous item he was presenting to her. “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m not wearing
that
!”

“Oh, come on. I thought it was really cute. Try it on…please?” He pouted and fluttered his eyelids, and of course, she melted like an ice-lolly in the sunshine. Seeing him looking so excited made her adore him even more. She surmised that she would have ridden a ravenous tiger down the street if it got this reaction from him. His chocolate eyes sparkled as he stood there waiting for her.

She rolled her eyes and turned to lock the door behind her, chuntering under her breath about being treated like a five-year-old. She reluctantly grabbed the helmet from his grasp and pulled it down over her ears. She felt like her head was in a vice and glanced up to Jason, who stood there with a look of pure pride on his face.

“Awww, my Stevie, the bike virgin. You look so cute. But like I said before, add a set of leathers and…” His words trailed off, and she could pretty much read his smutty mind, thanks to the fact that he bit his bottom lip and then licked it as he raked his eyes over her denim clad body.

“I feel like I’ve been bloody mummified. All these bloody layers.”

“Hmmm, think of the fun we’ll have peeling them off later.”

Ignoring his mischievousness, she continued. “And I’m scared to death, Jason.”

He stepped toward her and rested his forehead on her helmet. “You’re perfectly safe with me, but only because you’re not wearing leathers.” His slow smile made her squeeze her legs together. He took her hand and led her to the huge hunk of metal he called a bike and climbed on.

He held his hand out to her. “Climb aboard, gorgeous, and I’ll give you the ride of your life.” He grinned at her as she took his hand and swung her leg over to straddle the bike. He glanced over his shoulder at her. “Get comfy, sweetheart, and hold on tight.” His accent sounded more Scottish than usual and her heart and stomach did simultaneous somersaults. He pulled his helmet over his head and strapped it in place. She slipped her hands around his waist and held on for dear life. “Erm…Stevie…I know I said hold on tight, but breathing is quite imperative to riding safely. Can you let up a little?”

She loosened her vice-like grip. “Whoops…sorry about that…nerves.”

He patted her hand where it lay across his stomach. “Relax. You’ll be fine. Trust me.”

He turned the key in the ignition and hit the accelerator. Stevie let out a high-pitched squeal, and tucked her head into Jason’s back, clenching her eyes shut. She could feel Jason’s chest vibrating.
The rotten shit’s laughing at me!

Eventually, she began to relax and the whole thing was quite exhilarating. She dared to lift her head up and realised that Jason had taken quite the scenic route to get into the part of London she had mentioned to him the night before. Around thirty minutes later, they pulled up in a small car park off the main road of the leafy suburb she loved so much. She climbed from the bike and pulled off her helmet shaking her long, auburn hair out and running her hands through it.