Reasons to Leave (Reasons #1) (5 page)

He laughed humourlessly. “Whatever, sweetheart.” He leaned into her ear. “We both know the truth.”

She shivered and scrunched her face in disgust. “My God, Jason, what the hell
happened
to you?”

He let go of her and scowled. “I had a big dose of life and reality, darlin’. That’s what.”

“Yeah? Now there’s something to be proud of, eh? I’m sure that all those people whom you left behind would be
so
delighted to hear about that. And I am
not
your sweetheart
or
your darling.”

He grabbed her by the arms again, this time with both hands, pulled her against his hard chest and bent so that his nose almost touched hers. “
They
will be hearing
nothing
of the sort because
you
are going to keep your mouth firmly
shut.
Do you hear me?”

Her chest heaved against his. He had changed beyond all recognition and not for the better. The smell of body wash mixed with sweat infiltrated her senses and clouded her mind. It was a heady cocktail that fuelled the lustful feelings she’d had when she had been oblivious to whom he was. Angry with her body for betraying her mind, she closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again her resolve was restored. “Or else
what
? You’ll run away again? Or do you
threaten
and
hit
women now to keep them quiet and get them to do your bidding?”

He recoiled, letting her go and staggering backwards as though she had struck him. His brow furrowed and he looked pained by her words.

She smiled sardonically. “You should be careful, Jason. Lots of things here to…you know…fall over.” She growled as she used his own words against him before turning and walking as fast as she could back to where the coach had parked.

The coach was nowhere to be seen, and suddenly she was overcome with emotion as realisation and the reality of her discovery began to sink in. Her rush to get away had left her winded and she bent double, resting her hands on her knees as tears stung behind her eyes. She gulped the fresh air deeply into her lungs trying her best to rein herself in.

Ten years
he’d been gone, and of all the places she should bump into him, it had to be when she was
completely
out of her comfort zone, in more ways than one. The shock knotted her stomach, and her heart was forming a brand new erratic rhythm all of its own.

The last thing she needed was to have to fabricate something on the spot if she was discovered in her current distraught state. Once she had gathered herself, she wiped her clammy hands down her jeans and made her way in the direction of the log cabins.

“There you are! I’ve been worried sick! I thought you’d been dragged off by a mountain lion or something.” David looked relieved.

“David, we’re in the Cairngorms, not the Yukon,” she snapped.

Her colleague raised his eyebrows. “Sorry…I…I was just worried.”

She softened her face. “I’m sorry. I got a bit…lost…but don’t tell the kids, okay? I’d never live that down.”

He smiled. “My lips are sealed. Hang on… Did you fall or something? Your knees are all scuffed and dirty.”

She bent and tried in vain to brush the dirt from her jeans. “Yes. I tripped over a stupid branch. I’m fine though.”

“Okay…if you’re sure… Look, I hope you don’t mind but rather than leaving it outside I took your bag into your cabin. Come on, I’ll show you the way.”

She followed him to a row of log cabin dorm rooms where their charges were happily unpacking their belongings. They were surprisingly quiet, probably exhausted from their long journey. David kept his hand at the bottom of her back, a gesture that seemed a little too familiar and intimate for work colleagues, but she let it ride for now, seeing as she was devoid of the energy to protest. He gestured to a small cabin at the end of the row, which sat opposite a cabin of the same size. “This is you, and I’m opposite.”

“Thanks, David.”

“No worries. Your bag’s on your bed. I drew the line at unpacking for you. Didn’t think you’d like me going through your smalls.” He grinned and blushed.

She shook her head without smiling. “No. I wouldn’t. I’ll just get unpacked. What are the arrangements for dinner?”

“Dorcas says there’ll be a barbecue in about an hour. She’ll come and collect us before that though, as there’s a briefing first.”

She scrunched her face. “
Dorcas
? What kind of name is
Dorcas
?”

“A biblical one,” David replied, looking rather proud for knowing that little snippet of useless trivia. “She was the little blonde girl who greeted us. She’s very sweet, and I think a couple of the boys already have the hots for her, so we’ll have to watch them. Anyway, I’ll leave you to it.”

He turned on his heels and made his way over to a group of kids who were messing around with cups of water and squealing like banshees. Turning her back on the ridiculous scene, she climbed the steps into her small cabin and closed the door. She walked over to the bed and sat, glancing around at her new surroundings. The cabin was simply furnished but comfortable with a single bed, bedside table, dressing table, and chair. There was a small en-suite shower room at the end too, which she was relieved to discover.

Inhaling a deep breath, her mind wandered back to the startling encounter that took place only minutes before. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and she would
not
have boarded the bus if she’d known that
he
would be here.

Or
would
she?

Ten years was a long time to nurse the wounds left after being abandoned by the man you thought you were going to spend your life with. Ten years and not a word. Not knowing if he was alive or dead. Not knowing if he was happy or if he had met someone else. Ten years without his touch, his kiss, his voice. Ten years that had left her a shell of her former self, unable to trust
anyone
.

The whole damned situation had caused her to lose her friends, her heart, her self-esteem, and her confidence, along with her faith in men; or the tiny shred that she’d had left. All gone. And here he was. Large as life.

Her immediate thought was that she wanted to leave, to get away rather than face this thing head on. It was one of those fight or flight scenarios she’d heard about. The trouble is, the more she played it over in her mind, the more she wanted to go with
both
. To slap him and demand answers,
and
to phone for a cab to take her back down to London. But duty wouldn’t allow that. She was trapped here.

Trapped
.

For. A. Whole. Week.

And shit, he
owned
the damn place. There was no escaping him. At all. There was a knock on her cabin door, and she turned to face it, staring, as if by doing so it would reveal who was on the other side. Was it him?
Oh shitty shit! Calm, Stevie. Calm
. After a few moments, she stood and slowly, reluctantly made her way over to open it, fearing who stood beyond.

It was David. Relief washed over her and she smiled widely.

He responded with a wide grin. “Dorcas has asked that we make our way over to the clubhouse hut now. Apparently, the safety briefing is happening very soon.”

Almost breezily she answered, “Oh…right, yes. Give me a minute to change my jeans.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t bother.” He looked her up and down. “You look fine. You look the part, all…you know…rugged and…wilderness.” His cheeks coloured.
Poor guy, he must be getting whiplash from my change in mood.

“Okay, well, I’ll just brush my hair. Two minutes.” She closed the door before he could drool over her further and rifled through her bag for her hairbrush. Releasing the clip, she allowed her long, auburn tresses to fall loosely in waves around her shoulders. She brushed out the knots, dropped the brush onto the bed, and checked her appearance in the full-length wall mirror before making her way out to join David.

He looked a little put out, standing there with his arms folded over his chest. “Come on…the kids have already gone over.” She rolled her eyes and followed.

They walked to the largest of the log cabins where the kids were filing in remarkably quietly again. It seemed as if she had wandered into the Twilight Zone. She and David followed behind and waited until all the teens were seated before she glanced to the front where a now showered and changed Jason stood.

His hair was damp and was no longer tied back at the top. It hung loosely around his face, and it was now evident why he’d needed to scrape it back earlier. His stubble remained and he was wearing clean jeans and a fitted T-Shirt with the
Wild Front Here
logo on his left pec. It clung to the muscles she had felt, and seen, at first hand earlier today. Her heart skipped, and inwardly she cursed herself as her body reacted against her will once again.

She had to admit that he looked every bit as stunning as she remembered, although more rugged, mature, and masculine. Definitely broader. He glanced up and caught her looking at him. She froze. Should she look away? Should she smile? Should she make a face? All too soon, his smouldering gaze was torn away as Dorcas placed her hand on his arm and leaned in to whisper something. He smiled widely at her, placing his hand on her shoulder as he nodded.

Bitch.

The word popped unwelcomed into her mind.
Whoa, Stevie, what was that?
She shook her head to eradicate the thought. She had no right, nor any
desire
for that matter, to be possessive over the man. Well, at least her
right
mind hadn’t. Her subconscious appeared to think differently
.

Great.

Once the chatter had died down, Jason glanced around the room. “Good evening, everyone. My name is Jason Reynolds, and I’m the owner of
Wild Front Here
. I just want to run through a few rules and introduce you to the rest of the staff. That way you all stay safe and your teachers stay almost sane.” A rumble of laughter traversed the room. He continued on, informing the kids of the no go areas on camp, where the fire assembly points and first aid rooms were, and what to do in the event of any emergency.

“Remember guys, we
never
ask you to do anything we don’t think you’re
all
capable of. You have to believe in
yourselves
like
we
all believe in you. Some of the things we’ll do will be scary and some of them will be physically tough. But know that we—my staff, myself, and your teachers—have the utmost faith in your abilities. Not many kids get this opportunity so please make the most of being here. Take the opportunity to conquer your fears. Face them with your head held high. And don’t forget, we’re all here to support you. So all that remains to be said now is that you should be very grateful to your teachers for taking time out of their busy lives to be here with you. Make sure you say thank you. Have fun. Don’t do anything stupid and above all, be safe.”

Jason’s deep voice resonated throughout the room, and she found herself staring at his mouth. She had always loved his mouth. He had such plump, kissable lips, and she had often wondered what it would feel like to have his mouth trailing kisses down her naked body. But things had just never got that far between them. He left on the very day she was hoping they would take that next step together.

His words were touching, and her throat tightened at hearing his passion and belief in the group of disaffected kids that she was accompanying. She was impressed with his air of authority and secretly very proud of the man he was, standing in front of the group, rousing them up and instilling his confidence in them. It was just a shame that he was such an arrogant arse outside of the situation.

She was snatched from her reverie when the room of teens erupted into applause. Her head snapped up, and she found herself peering straight into the dark eyes of her former boyfriend and first love, whose gaze was also fixed on her. The heat rose in her cheeks as she nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Dorcas with the sweet Scottish accent and over-excited, breezy manner addressed the crowd, “Okay, gang! The barbecue should be just about ready, so if you’d like to make your way out of the main door and down to the left, you’ll see where the tables are set up.” Her blonde hair bounced as she spoke enthusiastically. She reminded Stevie of an eager-to-please puppy dog. The teens began to file out of the room with David heading up the line. Several of the boys stared dreamily at Dorcas, taking the journey slowly in order to try and walk along with her. She hung back to ensure that everyone knew where they were going, and Dorcas smiled at her as she passed.