Rebecca's Rose (8 page)

Rebecca never felt so wicked in her life as when she had such thoughts. She should love her fater, when all she could muster was tolerance.
Oh, Father in heaven,
she prayed,
forgive me for my stiff neck and hard heart.

Fater had always been stern and of a serious disposition. But when his family was younger, he seemed content with his life and satisfied with his oldest daughter. Before Mamm fell ill, Rebecca was Fater’s best helper. While she was still too young for grade school, she’d followed him all day long, carrying a tiny pail and a screwdriver. He called her “my little Becky” and let her help with his work. She gathered eggs for Mamm and carried lunch for Fater in her little bucket. Even after she entered school, Fater let her tag along in the afternoons while they helped each other with their chores. She longed for his approval, so she worked extra hard on the farm to earn it. Fater handed out praise sparingly, which only motivated Rebecca to try harder. Rebecca would have done anything to please her fater.

“‘Be strong and of a good courage,’” he would tell her. “I depend on you.”

Times had changed. Rebecca must have grown unlovable.

When she thought of Marvin Yutzy, her heart sank. Marvin might not have put his dat up to the visit, but Marvin’s desires most certainly influenced his father’s reasons. Poor, exasperating Marvin. With so many other worthy and available girls in the surrounding districts, how could he find anything attractive about Rebecca?

What would Levi think if he knew Rebecca had a young man interested in her? He would probably laugh or tease her about kissing Amish boys. She loved it when he laughed and she caught a glimpse of those dazzling white teeth.

Was it too soon after their date to send him a text?

Maybe not, but the chores would keep her from her phone past midnight. Levi would have to wait.

Levi stirred the foam on the top of his beer with his finger and stared at the TV on the wall. Some baseball game he couldn’t care less about flashed across the screen as the announcers droned on about batting averages and trade rumors. He ate another pretzel.

“It’ll go flat if you let it sit too long,” said the bartender as he stacked menus on the counter.

Levi nodded noncommittally. How long had he been sitting there? Ten minutes? Twenty?

Why had he come tonight? He wasn’t really in the mood for a drinking party with friends and perfect strangers. Even in the midst of dozens of people at a bar, alcohol left him feeling utterly alone.

Someone slapped him on the back, and he turned to look.

“Levi, my man!”

“Hey, Jason. Hey, Dax.”

His two friends pulled up stools on either side of him. Jason, who was built like an army tank, waved his arm to get the attention of the bartender. “You’re not drinking?” he said.

Levi held up his full glass of beer.

“No,” Jason said, “I mean
drinking
. By this time of night you’re usually on your second or third margarita.”

Levi leaned his elbows on the bar. “Just beer tonight.”

Jason and Dax stared at each other for a long minute. Jason let whatever he was thinking die on his lips.

“Well, I hope you don’t mind if I get totally wasted,” Dax said. “It’s been one of those days.”

Jason ordered a margarita. Dax got a scotch straight up and downed it in five swallows. “Tara texted me,” he said, pausing to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. “She’s coming over.”

“Here?” Levi said.

“Yeah,” Dax said. “She wants to see you.”

Levi groaned. “You told her I was going to be here?”

“Chill out, Cooper. She wants to be friends.”

Levi lifted his glass to his lips then set it down again. “No, she doesn’t.”

Dax ordered another drink. “What’s wrong with that? For the life of me, I can’t figure out why you dumped her.”

Frowning, Levi wrapped his hands around his glass and pretended to study the television. “It’s not her. It’s me.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “I’ve never heard
that
one before.”

Levi didn’t want to have to justify himself, but he did anyway. “You know that nice new truck Eddie Manville bought?”

Jason nodded.

“Guess who I found making out in the back?”

“Tara and that cowboy?”

Dax hooted with glee.

“So what?” Jason said. “That’s just Tara.”

Funny, that’s exactly what Levi had told Beth.

I’m done with cornflake girls.

Levi glanced at Jason out of the corner of his eyes. He had about ten more minutes of coherent conversation left before both friends were useless. “Why didn’t we date any good girls in high school?” he muttered.

Jason laughed out loud. “Because they weren’t any fun.”

Shaking his head, Dax grinned. “They never would have dated us.”

“You’re right,” Levi said, suddenly glad Rebecca hadn’t known him in high school. “The good girls wouldn’t have been caught dead associating with us.”

“Who wants ’em, when you’ve got girls like Tara?” Jason said.

“Maybe you could actually have a meaningful relationship with a good girl.”

Jason grabbed Levi’s arm. “What’s gotten into you, man?”

“Nothing. Just thinking.”

“Well, quit thinking and start drinking.”

Jason and Dax roared with laughter until Jason started into a coughing fit and Dax stood up and pounded him on the back.

Meaningful communication was at an end. Levi surrendered his place at the bar and wandered to the pool table, where a guy was teaching a girl how to hold the cue.

I’ll bet Rebecca would like to learn how to play.

Levi shook his head. That girl popped into his mind at the most random moments.

Even amid the noise Levi heard the door squeak open, and he looked over to see Tara saunter in, holding hands with that Eddie guy. Eddie wore a very impressive chocolate-brown cowboy hat complete with a pair of hand-stitched boots and a belt buckle the diameter of a small grapefruit.

Tara was what Beth would call “high-maintenance.” Her bright-red fingernails were expertly manicured, and not a strand of her bleached-blond hair was out of place. Her bright-red shoes had impossibly high heels. Levi had no idea how she walked in them. Not easily, because with them on her feet, she bent forward slightly and sort of waddled like a duck. Levi hadn’t really thought before about how ridiculous that looked.

Tara quickly surveyed the bar stools and then, not seeing what she came for, scanned the faces around the room.

Levi wasn’t a coward, but he didn’t want to talk to her. Two dates with Rebecca were enough to compel him to rethink his choices. He didn’t want to get back together with Tara again.

But if he informed Tara of that, she’d make a scene and embarrass herself and then he’d feel guilty and angry and trapped all at the same time. No doubt Eddie’s presence was meant to provoke jealousy and pressure Levi to beg Tara to take him back. He felt almost sorry for her. How could she know her strategy wasn’t going to work?

Levi recognized the moment when Tara spotted him. Her eyes locked briefly on his and then she immediately looked away as if he wasn’t anybody she knew. Dragging Eddie along with her, she strode not toward Levi but to the bar, where she greeted Jason and Dax and visited with exaggerated enthusiasm.

Might as well get it over with.
Levi hadn’t talked to Tara for three weeks. He hadn’t called her as he’d intended, hadn’t wanted to. At the time, he had left her with every expectation that they would get back together. Man, how things had changed.

Levi marched to the bar and put a hand on Dax’s shoulder. “Hey, Tara,” he said.

Tara fixed a look of surprise on her face and threw her arms around Levi. “Levi, hi! How are you?”

Eddie looked confused and uncertain at the same time. Levi could see the wheels turning in his head as he wondered whether he should act jealous or angry or neither that Tara hugged another guy. Eddie opted to appear indifferent to Levi’s presence. Levi thought that was a good idea. Tara’s power increased when she knew she could manipulate someone’s feelings.

Nudging her away, Levi told a small lie. “It’s good to see you.”

“How was the Sports Expo?” Tara asked. “Jason said you had to work it for like twelve hours a day.”

“It was fine. Good overtime pay.”

“My brother went, but he didn’t see you,” Tara said.

Eddie, who stood behind Tara, pulled her a little closer to him and put his hands around her waist. Levi looked at Eddie and nodded. “Hey, Eddie.”

“Hey.”

“I saw the new hubcaps on your truck. Sweet.” Levi said.

Eddie kind of smiled. “Birthday present from my dad.” He nuzzled his face into Tara’s hair.

She pulled away from him and giggled. “Eddie, stop!”

Levi thumped Dax on the shoulder. “I’m leaving. I’ve got to get up early tomorrow.”

“But we just got here,” Jason said.

“You’re getting along fine without me,” Levi said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wait,” Tara said, grabbing his arm. She quickly ordered a beer and pushed Eddie onto the bar stool between Jason and Dax. “I want to talk to Levi alone for a minute. Okay, Eddie? Wait here.”

The look of confusion returned to Eddie’s face. Tara picked up her beer and tried to take Levi’s hand. He avoided her touch. She pretended not to notice then headed for the nearest empty table.

“I don’t have much time,” Levi said, preparing her for what he hoped was a gentle letdown.

“You’re not drinking?” she said.

“I left my beer at the bar.”

“Sit,” she said. “Just sit for a minute.”

He eased slowly into the chair, hoping to make his lack of enthusiasm blatantly evident.

She took a sip of her beer and leaned closer to Levi. “Eddie wants me to get serious with him.”

“From what I’ve seen, you’re pretty serious already.” He sounded like a bitter ex-boyfriend. He didn’t want to sound bitter. He wanted to be done with Tara.

With cornflake girls.

“That was just playing around, Levi. I don’t like him like that.”

“I don’t want to be with you anymore, Tara.”

“That’s not what you said when we broke up.” She clicked her fingernails against the table as if eager to get this chore over so she could move on to something more important. “I’ve learned my lesson. I’m sorry, and I want you back.”

“I’ve had time to think things out. I’m not mad anymore, and I think you’re better off without me. That’s all.”

Tara folded her arms. “Do you want me to admit that I’m jealous? Okay, I’m jealous. Megan said you were out with some girl the other night.”

“I didn’t do that to make you jealous.” Not entirely true
then
, but entirely true now.

Tara’s voice rose with her frustration. “Oh, sure you didn’t,” she said sarcastically. “That’s why you took her to our hangout. You knew at least one of my friends would see you.”

Levi stood up. “It’s over, Tara. Sorry.”

The venom shooting out of her eyes could have killed him. “Maybe I should warn this new girl about you. It’s not every day you date a guy with a police record.”

Tara knew him too well. Pain scrubbed itself over every surface of his body.

She saw his expression and must have realized she’d gone too far. Jumping to her feet, she grabbed his arm with both her hands. “I didn’t mean it, Levi. You know I love you. Sometimes I want to hurt you as bad as you’ve hurt me.”

She snaked her arms around his neck. He was too stunned from her first blow to resist. Pulling him close with amazing strength, she kissed him hard on the mouth.

To avoid touching her, he held up his hands like a bank robber in the sights of a policeman’s gun.

When he didn’t kiss her back, she took her lips off his but still clung tightly to his neck with her tentacle-like grip. “Come on, Levi.”

Levi felt, rather than saw, Eddie behind him. He might have heard Tara scream. Eddie yanked Levi’s shoulder and spun him around violently then swung his fist and caught Levi hard in the nose. That was Eddie’s first mistake. He should have known that Levi didn’t take crap from anybody.

Levi snatched the collar of Eddie’s mighty fine Western-style shirt and half-dragged, half-pushed him to the far wall. All it took was one punch to the jaw to lay Eddie flat. Levi had a good right hook.

He shook his hand to drive away the pain and looked down at Eddie on the floor. “You can have her,” he said. “But leave me alone.”

He grabbed some napkins from the nearest table to soak up the blood pouring from his nose. It stung something awful.

As Levi would have expected, the bartender wasted no time in throwing both of them out of his bar. He dragged Eddie from the floor with one hand and grasped Levi’s arm with the other. “No fighting,” was all he said as he escorted both men to the door and pushed them out into the night.

As the door slammed behind them, Eddie gave Levi a halfhearted shove before weaving unsteadily to his truck, getting in, and speeding away—his souped-up engine rumbling all the way into the next county. He apparently didn’t care that he had brought Tara with him or how she would get home.

“You okay, man?”

Levi turned. He hadn’t even heard Jason come out. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Jason already possessed that glassy stare that indicated he wouldn’t remember much of anything that happened tonight. “Oh, man. Your nose is bleeding, man. Come in and get some ice or something.”

“They won’t let me back in,” Levi said.

“Oh.”

Levi opened the door for Jason and pushed him toward the inside. “I’m good,” he said. “Go back inside. I’ll call my sister to come get me.”

“Okay, man. Take care. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Levi sat down on the curb, leaned his head forward, and pinched the bridge of his nose. His blood dripped into the gutter as he peeked through his fingers to dial his sister’s cell. He’d sunk pretty low, being forced to call his sister to pick him up like some sixth grader after a playground fight.

His only prayer was that Rebecca wouldn’t suddenly decide to drive by in her buggy and see him sitting there.

“Hello, Beth. I’m an idiot. Could you come and get me?”