Redemption (16 page)

“Where’d he go?” he roared, pushing his way to look out the door.

Cord looked back from the edge of the yard and waved at his brother. “I’ll find him,” he called. “Rachel, stay with Alicia and Jake. This shouldn’t take long.”

“What did he say to you?” Jake asked, his dark eyes piercing, his tone harsh. “Damn it, Alicia, answer me. I want to know what he said to you. You look like a ghost—like someone just walked across your grave.”

“Well, thank you, sir,” she said. “I know I’m not the prettiest girl in town, but that description beats all, if you ask me.” She turned away from him, unable to repeat the words Jason had uttered, unwilling to tell Jake how cruel the boy had been.

“I’ll tell you,” Rachel said. “Alicia doesn’t want to get Jason in any more trouble than he’s already in, but I have no such qualms, brother dear.”

Jake leaned forward in his chair and his jaw jutted stubbornly. “Let’s have it.”

Rachel reached for a chair and nodded at Alicia. “Why don’t you sit down?” she suggested. “Jake’s right. You look terrible.”

Alicia pulled a chair from the table and sat on the edge of the seat. With swift movements, Jake was beside her, his hand touching hers, clasping it in his palm. “All right, Rachel,” he said. “Tell me.”

Rachel repeated what the boy had said. In her calm voice the words didn’t seem nearly as harsh and cruel, until she told Jake how Jason had designated Alicia’s place in the home. “He said Alicia was lucky that the two of you let her live with you.”

“I didn’t think he’d feel that way about Alicia taking her rightful place in my life.”

“Moving into your life doesn’t seem to be the problem,” Alicia said quietly. “What he objected to is my moving into his mother’s bedroom.”

Jake’s expression turned stormy with anger. “Well, he’ll just have to get over it, Alicia. He isn’t going to tell me, or you either, what we should do with our lives. This is an adult decision, and not up for discussion. A nine-year-old boy is not going to run my household, no matter if he is my son.”

“Maybe we should put off my making such a move for a while, Jake,” she said, her voice trembling. “We could give him time to get used to it.”

“That isn’t going to work, either,” Rachel said quickly. “He needs to know that his word is not law, that he doesn’t make the rules. He’s not allowed to speak to you the way he did.” She bit at her lip. “I’m
sorry. It’s not my place to make a statement like that. It’s not my business, actually.”

“Yes, it is,” Jake told her. “We’re a family, Rachel. You’ve been involved in my life for a lot of years, most of them good years. And throughout the bad times you didn’t give up on me, did you?”

“Never,” she said vehemently.

“Well, I value your opinion, sister of mine, and I totally agree with what you said. The boy owes Alicia an apology, and I owe him a good trouncing.”

“Cord may have already done that by the time he hauls him back here. He was furious when I told him what Jason said to Alicia.”

“He’ll have my blessings, then.” Jake patted the back of Alicia’s hand and rolled his chair to the back door, looking out through the screen. “Which way did he head?”

“Toward town,” Rachel said. “He could be anywhere by now.” Then at Alicia’s soft sob, she backtracked a bit. “Of course, Cord may already be on his way back with him. I doubt Jason will go far.”

“Should I find the sheriff and let him know that Jason is missing?” Alicia asked, feeling a degree of helplessness she’d never before known. “I feel like I should be doing something, not just sitting here.”

“Let’s give Cord a half hour or so and see what he comes up with,” Jake said, turning his chair and moving
to face her. He bent forward and cupped her cheeks with his hands, brushing at the tears she could not control. “This isn’t your fault,” he said forcefully. “It’s mine, in that I didn’t talk to the boy after we got married and prepare him for the eventuality of this happening.”

“My moving into your room?” Alicia asked in a whisper, her eyes wide with surprise at Jake’s words.

He looked at her with a softening in his gaze that touched her heart. “I knew for the past couple of months that this would come about, Alicia. I just didn’t know when, and I didn’t have any idea how it would happen.”

“You knew?” She felt stunned by his disclosure. “I didn’t know,” she said. “It didn’t even enter my mind.” Then she blushed. “Well, that’s not entirely true. I wondered what it would be like to…” She whispered the final few words and then decided she’d said enough. This might be confession time for her and for Jake, but getting Rachel involved in their conversation was probably not a good idea.

Rachel seemed to share her thoughts, for she rose and walked to the back door. “Don’t pay me any mind,” she said with a chuckle. “I’m going out in the yard.”

Jake moved his chair, rolling it to sit beside Alicia. His arm circled her shoulders and he tugged her against him. “Kiss me, sweetheart,” he said, and she turned her tear-stained face toward him. “I need to
know you care about me.” His words were husky, as if they were hard to come by, and she recognized the amount of pride he’d shed in order to admit his need.

She reached up to touch his face, then her lips met his, and she put her heart and soul into the kiss. His big hand cupped the back of her head and he held her in place for a gentle assault. She may have begun the kiss, but Jake was taking control, and doing it well, she decided. Her mouth was invaded by his tongue and she opened to him gladly, having learned well the intimate play he instigated.

Then he leaned back a bit. “Does that tell you anything?” he asked. “Do you believe what I’m telling you, Alicia? I need you in my life, I want you in my bed, and my son is not going to lead me around by the nose.”

She was breathless, her mouth feeling swollen by the thoroughness of his kiss. “Yes,” she murmured. “I believe you, Jake. I also believe that Jason is terribly hurt right now and we need to try to understand his side of this.”

“I married you so that he would have a stable home life,” Jake told her. “But everything changed over the summer, and our own wants and needs became just as important. Jason has not suffered by our marriage.”

“He misses his mother.” Alicia spoke the simple words, remembering Jason’s contempt as he spoke his mind. “You’re not my mother.” He’d been so vehement
in his statement, effectively putting her in her place. “I can’t take Rena’s place with him.”

“Nor with me,” Jake said quietly. “But you’ve made a place of your own. I’ll always have a spot in my heart for Rena. But life goes on—and if that sounds trite, I can’t help it. It’s the truth. I mourned for more than two years and what did it get me? A lousy reputation in town and a dirty house. A boy who was the town terror and a whole string of housekeepers and cooks who were half afraid of me and refused to work here.”

“And how has Jason coped with the loss of his mother?” she asked. “He was crying out for his father’s attention, doing everything he could to make you sit up and take notice, Jake. He was destructive and mischievous. He was mean to the little girls and fought with the boys. Then what did we do? We gave him someone to take care of him and see to it that he had a stable home life. Now we’ve asked him to set aside the memory of his mother and watch me take her place.”

“That’s not true,” Jake said. “I don’t want him to forget Rena.”

“Nor do I,” she told him, “but he thinks we do. So long as I was upstairs, I was the cook and the housekeeper. Once you decided I should sleep in your room, I became a threat to him.”

“You’re making too big an issue of it,” Jake told her. “It’s much simpler than that.”

She rose and walked to the kitchen window, looking out into the yard. Rachel stood by the back fence, looking down as if she were deep in thought…or perhaps praying, Alicia thought. The sun was sinking below the horizon and the moon was a faint glow in the sky.

And Jason was not yet home.

“H
E
’
S IN JAIL
.” C
ORD
stood in the kitchen, tired and irritated after the day’s events. “I can’t believe what the boy did. Went up to the sheriff’s office and banged on the door. Somebody told him the sheriff was gone home for supper, so Jason just broke in the door, anyway, and got inside.”

“How’d he do that?” Jake asked. “Why would he do such a stupid thing, anyway?”

Cord shrugged. “Who knows why kids do the things they do sometimes? As to how, he picked up a rock and smashed the lock. I shudder to think that our jail was secured by a lock that a nine-year-old managed to break so easily.”

“Were there prisoners in the cells?” Alicia asked, already dreading the reply.

“Oh, yeah,” Cord said. “There sure were. Three of ’em. And they’re all on the loose right now. Jason took the keys from the sheriff’s desk drawer and unlocked the cells. They all skedaddled like white lightning.”

“Have you seen him?” Jake asked, his face pale and drawn as if he could not bear the message Cord had brought him. “Is he all right?”

“Cocky as hell,” Cord said. “When the sheriff came running back after somebody went and dragged him away from his supper table, he found Jason perched on his desk. Apparently he admitted right off what he’d done, and asked the sheriff what he was gonna do about it.”

“He put him in jail.” Alicia said the words before Cord could repeat them to Jake. “Now what do we do?”

“He’s only nine years old,” Rachel said quietly. “Can they do this to him?”

“He broke the law,” Jake said. “This isn’t just mischief any longer, Rachel. He’s in real trouble, I’m afraid.”

“I’d say so,” Cord agreed. “I talked to the sheriff and he’s got six men out right now trying to follow the tracks of the men who walked out of the jail.”

“Why were they there to begin with? Are they really bad men?” Alicia asked, hoping against hope that charges levied against the prisoners were along the lines of drunk and disorderly, rather than cattle-rustling or murder.

“Well, Tom Erickson struck his wife once too often and she filed charges. Another is one of the rustlers who stole horses from Simon’s place. He was still waiting for the judge to show up and sentence him. The
third fella was arrested for a shooting at the saloon the other night. They don’t know if the man he shot is gonna live or not.”

“They’re all long gone, I’ll warrant,” Jake said. He looked up at Alicia and his eyes were dark with pain. “What will happen to him, do you suppose?”

“I’ll go see the sheriff and find out if he’ll let us bring him home if we’ll guarantee his appearance in court when the judge gets here.” It seemed like the logical thing to do, she thought, but Cord disagreed, shaking his head.

“Doubt if he’ll hear of it, Alicia. This is serious stuff. The boy has really done it this time.”

“Have you seen him?” Jake asked.

Cord nodded. “I went in the jail and back to the cell where he’s cooped up and he wouldn’t even look at me. Just lay down on the bunk and faced the wall.”

“He’s safe enough there, isn’t he, Cord?” Rachel asked. “No one can get to him, can they?”

“I doubt it, honey,” he said. “There’s gonna be some folks awfully mad at him, but they aren’t going to face down the sheriff to do Jason any harm.”

“I think he needs to be given a good dose of being left alone to take his medicine,” Jake said quietly. “He thinks someone will come to his rescue, and we’re not going to do it, Cord. He’ll just have to stew over this, all on his own.”

“Oh, Jake,” Alicia said, her heart aching for the boy who had been so hurt. “He’s only angry because he thinks you’ve turned against him. Telling him…” She hesitated and then plowed on. “When you told him I was moving into your room, he took it to be a rejection of his mother, and he couldn’t handle it. He thinks you’ve forgotten Rena.”

“I told him differently,” Jake said firmly. “It was his choice not to believe me.”

“He’s only nine years old,” Alicia said. “A child who’s still missing his mother, and terrified that he’s the only one who cares that she’s gone.”

“He knows better than that,” Cord said. “You’d think he’d be tickled to death that things are getting more cheerful around here.”

“But he doesn’t
care
about that,” Alicia said, determined that she was right in this. “All he cares is that I came in and tried to take the place of his mother. As long as I stayed upstairs, he could tell himself that I was the cook and his father had married me to look after the two of them.” She looked at Rachel appealingly. “You heard what he said, Rachel.”

“I think Jake’s right, though,” Rachel told her. “You can’t let Jason run this household. He’s only a child and he needs to learn who’s in charge.”

“Well, right now, that’s neither here nor there. Jason is stuck in a jail cell until the judge comes to town or
the sheriff decides to let him come home on parole,” Cord said.

“Do you think he will?” Alicia asked hopefully.

“I wouldn’t hold my breath.” Cord looked grim as he rose and walked to the back door. It was fully dark outside, the stars out in profusion and the moon shining in a cloudless sky. “We need to head for home, Rachel,” he said. “We can’t do anything more here. Jason is stuck right where he is for tonight.”

“I hate to leave,” Rachel said slowly, touching Alicia’s hand in a comforting gesture. “Do you need me to stay?” she asked.

Alicia shook her head. “No, we’ll be fine.” Then she looked at Jake and wondered at the truth of those words. Jake looked anything but fine. His face was drawn and his jaw was firmly set.

“Go on,” Jake said, with more than a trace of his old harshness. He waved dismissively at his brother. “You can’t accomplish anything here, Cord. You’ve found the boy, that was the most important thing. He’s got himself in a mess, but there isn’t a damn thing any of us can do to change things for tonight.”

“You’re probably right,” Cord agreed. He took Rachel’s arm. “Come on, honey.”

“My brother Jay is at home,” she said. “He’ll be looking after Matthew and Melody.” She allowed Cord to hustle her to the door and then looked over her
shoulder at Alicia. “Will you send someone out to get us if anything happens?” she asked.

Alicia nodded, hoping against hope that no such event would occur.

She closed up the house as soon as Cord’s surrey rolled down the street, checking to be sure the parlor windows were shut, although the sky looked clear enough. It probably wouldn’t rain, but the nights were cooling off rapidly. Jake didn’t need to take a chill. He was barely over the attack that had precipitated this whole mess, and she couldn’t take the chance of him having a relapse.

“Leave one of my windows open,” he said, rolling into his bedroom and then turning to face her. “Go get your nightgown, Alicia. You’re sleeping here with me tonight.”

She opened her mouth to protest, aware that this was the very thing that had brought about Jason’s run-in with the law, but the look on Jake’s face silenced her. He wasn’t in the mood to argue, she decided. His eyes were piercing, his jaw set aggressively and his knuckles were white as he gripped the arms of his chair.

No power on earth could make her defy him tonight, she decided. It was too important for Jake to feel in control right now. He’d lost his authority over Jason, and that was something he was trying to deal with, a
burden he was barely equipped to bear. All that was left to him was the wife he’d chosen to protect and establish in her proper place, over the protests of his son. She had no intention of hurting him further.

“I’ll be there in a minute, Jake.” After lighting a candle to light her way, she climbed the stairs and paused in the doorway of Jason’s room. He’d thrown the quilt over his bed in a haphazard manner, but most of his things were in fairly tidy condition. The boy was trying, she decided. Her own room was spick-and-span, the bed neatly made, her clothing in good order, her nightgown tucked beneath her pillow.

She snatched it up, gathered her brush and clean undergarments for tomorrow and, picking up her candle, left the room. Jake had lit a lamp beside the bed and pulled back the sheet and quilt, preparatory to undressing. He looked up at her and hesitated.

“Would you rather I get undressed in the dark?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No, of course not.” Her smile was quick. “However, if you’d rather not be exposed to
my
particular set of imperfections, I’ll be happy to blow out the lamp for you.”

“You know better,” he said gruffly, pulling his shirt off and tossing it toward the laundry basket she kept in his room.

She felt constricted by his attention, wished he
would turn his gaze elsewhere as she undid her buttons and slid the dress from her shoulders to drape at her waist. Her vest was quickly removed and for a few unguarded moments her upper body was bare of covering before him. Then the nightgown was pulled over her head and she undid the rest of her clothing beneath its sheltering folds.

“That’s unfair,” Jake told her, undoing his trousers.

She buttoned the gown and stepped out of the circle of clothing she’d shed. “It’s the way I get undressed every night.”

“I can see we’ll have to make some changes in your routine,” he told her. And then his expression softened, as if he were setting aside for a moment his anger at Jason. “I know you think I’m harsh and unfeeling about my son, Alicia. I haven’t forgotten about Jason and where he’s spending the night. But right now, I need you with me. I need you in my bed.”

“If having me with you is any comfort, then I’m here, Jake.” She meant the words from the bottom of her heart. Her throat tightened with emotion as she offered herself as consolation to the man who bore wounds of the spirit as well as the body, whose aching heart might be eased by her presence.

He reached out his hand to her and she walked toward him, accepting the touch of his fingers, leaning over him to press her lips against his forehead, then his
jaw, where whiskers had formed during his illness, making him seem dangerous and disreputable. Jake was a good-looking man—clean shaven, he had proud and noble features.

Now, with the shadow of a beard present, his face took on a darker image as though the stronger facets of his personality were given leave to emerge. A twinge of apprehension gripped her, even as a thrill she could not describe sent a shiver down her spine.

She noted the difference with senses more acute than ever in her life. It seemed he lacked the delicacy of the night before, for he looked at her with eyes that glittered, touched her with hands that demanded rather than coaxed her submission.

“Come to bed,” he said, his tone urgent, his fingers firm around her wrist as he guided her toward the turned-down sheet. She obeyed, sliding to the opposite side of the bed and pulling the sheet up to her breasts.

He stripped from his trousers and reached for the trapeze that hung over his bed. With practiced movements, he lifted himself from the chair, balancing himself with the remnants of his legs and sank into the mattress beside her. His chest was bare of covering, but his drawers hid the lower part of his body.

Alicia lay quietly beside him, unable to decipher his thoughts. If he needed the possession of her body to
give him some sort of comfort tonight, she was willing to oblige. If he only needed her presence beside him, she would be pleased to do as he asked. Then he turned to her swiftly, raising himself on one elbow to loom over her, and her breath caught in a gasp of surprise at his sudden movement.

His hair was ruffled, his face shadowed and his voice when he spoke was ragged. She felt his pain as he spoke, fearful that his son’s betrayal had hurt him deeply. “I won’t blow out the lamp, Alicia,” he said gruffly. “You can’t hide beneath that gown tonight. I won’t let you. Any more than I’m planning to wear these damn drawers for any longer than it’ll take me to get them off.”

“All right,” she said, reluctant to shed the gown but unwilling to put up a fuss when Jake was so obviously agitated. She sat up and unbuttoned her bodice, then pushed it from her arms and to her waist. Wiggling beneath the sheet, she pushed it to the foot of the bed, then kicked it from beneath the covers.

She’d never felt so naked in her life. Last night shedding her clothing had made her self-conscious, but at least the room had been dark. Tonight was altogether different. And Jake was making no effort to put her at ease; his gaze was all-encompassing as his hand pulled back the sheet from her breasts. Then he made a demand she could barely countenance.

“Take off my drawers, Alicia. Unbutton them and push them off.”

“What if someone comes, Jake? We’ll both be…” She could not bring herself to speak the word. But apparently the situation would not be a problem, should it occur, so far as he was concerned.

“No one will be knocking at the door tonight,” he said. “We know where Jason is, and the sheriff is aware of it. Nothing is going to change before morning.” He lay back on the mattress and waited.

Alicia felt for the buttons that held his drawers in place and her fingers trembled as she undid the fastenings. He raised his hips, allowing her to push the soft knit fabric from him. She touched his upper leg, then moved downward till she came to the abrupt end of his thigh. Alicia looked up at him inquiringly, but his dark gaze was inscrutable. She was on her own.

She ran her fingertips lightly over the scarred flesh, her palm covering the area where once skin and bone had formed a knee. Their eyes met and held, seeming to form a bridge across which flowed her aching need to reassure him. He flinched once as her fingers explored the rough ridges of flesh where once a cruel saw had deprived him of the power to stand and walk as a man.

“Do I repel you?” he asked, his words harsh and biting. She felt him withdraw from her, and then he reached to push her hand from his leg.

She would not have it, would not allow him to force her from the path she had chosen. “No, you don’t repel me,” she said smartly. “Quite the opposite, in fact. You have my admiration, Jake. With all of your pain and the sorrow you’ve lived with the past years, you’re still more a man than any other I’ve ever known.”