Redemption and Regrets (Chastity Falls, #4) (20 page)

“Okay, okay, I trust you, I just don’t underst-”

She pressed her lips to my head and rushed out of the room leaving me more confused than ever.

~

I
waited in my room until my nerves calmed and I felt able to put on my mask. Mom hadn’t given me much to work with, and I didn’t know what to expect when I went downstairs to face my father. Did he know about Braiden and me? Was that what Mom meant when she said he had to choose? Or was there more to this whole thing—things I had yet to understand? And where was Jason in all of this? Because I couldn’t imagine he’d agreed to Braiden being invited into the house. Not that it was his decision to make but still.

I creeped down the stairs. Voices traveled through the air and I strained to hear them. Braiden was not among them, or if he was, he was silent. I didn’t know whether to feel relief or anguish. When I hit the bottom step, I paused. I always imagined butting heads with Daddy over every guy I tried to date. Only I hadn’t had a chance to test that theory yet. I’d not met anyone at Forest Grove who I had connected with on that level—no one until Braiden.

“Cara, is that you?” My father’s voice cut through the air like a blade, and I sucked in a sharp breath before heading into the living room.

Mom’s eyes met mine, and she smiled in a way that eased some of the nervous energy somersaulting in my stomach. “Take a seat, baby.”

“Mom, what’s going on?” I asked suddenly aware of the way my parents were seated together forcing me to take the chair opposite them like some parent-child intervention.

“We need to talk about a few things, Cara,” my father said coolly. “Your mother has alerted me to some things, and I wanted to get your side of things. I understand you know Braiden Donohue is here at the house? And that this isn’t the first time you’ve met him?”

I glared at Mom. Was this what she meant when she said for me to trust her? Because it felt like she’d thrown me to the wolves. But strangely, my father didn’t seem full of anger, the way I’d expected should he ever find out about Braiden and me. In fact, he seemed almost too calm. Unnervingly so.

Mom nodded for me to go ahead.

“Yes, I met Braiden in Forest Grove.”

“And you developed feelings for him, did you not?”

“Daddy.” I tried my best to sound sincere. “I’m a grown woman. Who I may or may not spend my time with is my business.”

“Cara, baby, no one is here to blame you. We’re just concerned about how your path ended up crossing with the likes of Braiden Donohue. He’s not good news, sweetie. You told me you didn’t know who he was?”

“I- I didn’t,” I replied going along with my mother’s prompts. “He told me his name was Braiden Kelly. It wasn’t until Jason recognized him that I realized something didn’t add up.”

My father cupped his jaw with his hand, regarding me with his usual pensive mask. “Jason knew you’d been spending time with him?”

Shit.
My heart jackhammered in my chest, and I looked at Mom for some kind of rescue, but she pulled her lips into a tight line. My shoulders sagged; I was on my own now.

“That’s why he called you, no? Because he discovered Braiden was in town?”

“Well, yes, but it would seem he failed to mention this matter.”

Of course, he did. If it came out I knew Braiden, it might also come out that he tried to rape me.

“He probably felt responsible. He should have known, shouldn’t he? It’s his job to protect me, after all.” I felt my voice crack at the end, and I hoped I hadn’t given away my venom toward Jason.

Sensing my discomfort, Mom leaned to my father and whispered something. He nodded and crossed one of his legs over the other. “And now? You know who he is?”

“Braiden? Yes, I know.”

“And so you understand why I did what I did?”

Something flashed across his face. Frankie O’Connor, one of the most unyielding men I’d ever met, looked almost regretful. But that couldn’t be right. Could it? It didn’t make sense.

I shrugged too choked up to reply. Did he really expect me to say I understood why he had tortured and beaten the guy I’d fallen for?

“You need to understand some things, Cara. I’ve tried to keep you separate from my business, but being a part of this family means that certain things can’t go unnoticed. I’m sorry you had to see your friend that way. I’m sorry that you probably hate me right now. But I do what is necessary to protect this family and the business I have worked hard to build. I will
always
do what I feel is necessary.”

“I-” Words failed me. I had nothing. I wanted to scream a million different things at the man sitting in front of me. But it wouldn’t change anything.

“Give your father chance to explain, baby,” Mom urged, clasping a hand over his knee. How had she stuck by him all of these years? Knowing what he did?

You can’t help who you fall in love with.
Her words from my childhood came back to me
.
Would I have cared so much if the guy in the annex, beaten and bruised, wasn’t a guy I’d given my heart to? Would I have been sitting there looking at my father like I no longer recognized him? Probably not. Because I did know my father. I knew who he was and what he stood for. I had listened to the rumors, heard the whispers.

Love changed everything.

It gave you something worth fighting for.

Calmly, I said, “What will happen to him now? To Braiden? Why have you brought him into the house?”

“Your mother reminded me of a few things, but Cara, do not mistake my hospitality for weakness. Braiden has a choice to make.”

“And if he makes the wrong one?”

“Oh, I don’t think he will. I can be rather persuasive.”

“What is that supposed to m-”

“Frank. Just tell her.”

“I need information Braiden has or can get me. A group of men is determined to end everything we’ve built here in Seattle. It doesn’t just affect me; it affects your mother, you, my men, and their families.”

My head spun with the idea that some kind of war was unfolding around us and that somehow, Braiden was at the center of it.

“And he if cooperates?”

“He lives.”

My body relaxed into the chair, relief coursing through my veins. But my father’s eyes darkened as he said, “Cara, this ends now. Whatever crush you’ve developed, whatever you think it is that you have with Braiden Donohue, ends now.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but Mom shot me a look that made me think twice. I nodded, biting down on my tongue to stop the pleas from pouring out. Didn’t he understand he was breaking my heart all over again?

Of course, he did; that was part of the reason I was sitting here. He was stamping down his authority, laying down yet more rules for me to follow. I was to be grateful he was offering Braiden an out—as long as I fell into line and never mentioned his name again.

A rush of tears burned at the back of my eyes, and I quickly excused myself, ignoring their calls. I ran through the house, up the stairs, and into my room, slamming the door behind me. I felt like the teenager who got caught sneaking out to meet her boyfriend and then was grounded for a month. Only this was worse. Far worse.

Because back when I was in high school, it hadn’t been a case of life and death.

~

M
om came by at some point to check in on me, but I refused to open the door. It was childish, but I needed time. This wasn’t just some schoolgirl crush. It was fate. Braiden walked into my life for a reason, and I refused to believe that it was only to break my heart. It hurt too much to accept that.

I sat against my bed watching the sun set over Washington Park. It was beautiful, the orange glow illuminating the tops of the trees. It was one of my favorite places, one of my fonder memories of growing up here. Even after the moon replaced the sun, I remained in the spot on the carpet just staring out the window. I hated the feeling of powerlessness weighing me down. It had been the same way my whole life. I was born to learn and explore and make mistakes; that much was obvious when I broke my leg the first time I tried to make the jump from the balcony to the oak tree. I’d almost made it, but a bird spooked me and I fell knocking myself unconscious and breaking my leg in two places. Mom had wanted to change the whole window, but Daddy insisted I’d learned my lesson. And he was right, to some degree. I didn’t try to make the jump again until I was in my junior year. It was as if he gave me freedom to find my own way on one hand and took it away on the other.

And I hated him for it.

The more he pushed, the more I pulled. We’d argue and I’d spend days not talking to him until Mom would intervene and mediate a compromise. But there was no compromise this time. I wouldn’t be getting what I wanted out of this shitty situation.
But when has that ever stopped me?

Checking the clock on my nightstand, I stood up and moved to the door, opening it slightly. Greeted with silence, I waited, listening for any signs that anyone was still awake. My father operated on little sleep, often returning from his club in the city in the middle of the night. Mom, on the other hand, liked her beauty sleep, and unless she was accompanying Daddy to one of his meetings, she was usually lights out by ten. It was just past midnight.

It was a risk.

But then, what did I have left to lose?

~ Braiden ~

N
o one came.

I waited.

And waited.

I waited all fucking afternoon, and no one returned to the room. The housekeeper stopped by to bring me some more soda and a turkey sub, but that was it. No O’Connor, no Annie, no Cara. Not that I expected to see her. Not after I’d told her we were done. Fuck. The look in her eyes when I’d forced myself to say the words had gutted me.

I was a bastard.

And I deserved to rot in hell.

At least, my new prison came without the beatings. A whole day without any fresh injuries and I was finally starting to feel like my old self. Even my eye had started to improve, thanks to the cream I found in the cabinet in the small bathroom. But, if it was possible, time passed even slower holed up in the bedroom, knowing Cara was somewhere in the house. So close I could almost feel her. I’d thought I had heard her earlier, but by the time I shot to the door to listen, everything had gone quiet. So here I was lying on my bed unable to sleep because my mind refused to quiet.

She consumed me. Every thought, breath, ache. It was all her. Deep regret for the way I had treated her, how I had discarded her as if she meant nothing to me. I did it with the best intentions, but now—being in this impossible situation—I was beginning to think I’d been wrong. What if I never laid eyes on her again? What if I never got to explain that I meant none of it, that she was so much more to me than she could ever understand? That she’d made me realize the type of guy I wanted to be.

Bottom line—Cara O’Connor made me want to be better.

She
made
me a better guy.

Lying there in the darkness, I felt myself start to slip into oblivion. Finally, sleep would come, and maybe, just maybe, when I awoke, things would seem a little bit better than the shitstorm raging around me at that moment.

~

“B
raiden, Braiden.” Her voice was like soft silk gliding over my skin, and I turned into its comfort needing more. “Braiden ...”

I bolted upright and found myself staring into eyes I thought I’d never see again. “What the fuck, Cara?” I hissed sounding far more pissed than I intended.

Her face paled in the darkness and guilt sliced through me. Why couldn’t I just say the right thing? Why did I always have to fuck things up? Hesitating at the side of the bed, Cara pulled nervously at the sleeves of her hoodie. “I- I had to see you.”

Without thinking, I shuffled forward dropping my feet over the side of the bed and pulled her into me, burying my hands in her short hair, relishing the feel of it against my skin. “I am so sorry. I fucked up, Cara. You have to forgive me. Forgive me, please.”

Her arms wound around my shoulders and we held each other as tight as possible, knowing it would never be close enough. I flinched as my ribs protested at being crushed by a one-hundred-and-twenty-pound girl. Cara pulled away, her eyes filled with alarm. “You’re hurting. Crap, I’m sorry.”

“Listen to us with all the apologies,” I said trying to cut through some of the tension zapping between us. Brushing her hair away from her face, I searched her eyes for some sign that things between us were okay. It was a lot to ask—after everything—but I needed to know I hadn’t fucked things up too much. “Come here.”

I brushed my nose across the tip of hers causing Cara to suck in a sharp breath, her chest rising between us. Our lips found each other’s and I cupped the back of her neck, cementing her to me. Everything I felt—anger, frustration, pain—poured into the kiss. Each stroke, lick, and breath filled with my apology. Cara matched my aggression with her own—clawing at my shoulders, biting my lip, and pushing herself into me so hard that I had to readjust to keep us upright.

“I should hate you,” she murmured into my mouth. I swallowed her words. Letting them burn through me. Making a silent promise to her—to myself—that I would never hurt her again.