Redemption and Regrets (Chastity Falls, #4) (21 page)

“Show me. Show me how much you hate me.”

Cara broke off the kiss and pulled back to glare at me. “Bastard.” Her hand collided with my cheek and fire pulsed through me. She raised her hand again, but I caught it and tugged her forward capturing her mouth again. We could do this all night—her telling me how much of a fucker I was and how I didn’t deserve her, but she wouldn’t be telling me anything I didn’t already know. And this time, I wasn’t going anywhere.

My hands found the hem of her hoodie and wound their way inside, skating up her warm stomach and around her waist. She arched into my touch, moaning softly into my mouth. “We have to be quiet, Braiden. No one can know I’m in here.”

If I had my way, everyone would know Cara was in here. Especially that fucker Jason. If he was anywhere in the house, I wanted him outside the door hearing every moan and scream I was going to draw from her. But I didn’t want to make things any worse for Cara than they already were, so I anchored one arm under her ass and lifted her up.

“Braiden,” she shrieked her voice trailing off into a whisper when she realized where I was heading. The bathroom door closed behind us. It was small, hardly enough room for the both of us, but I didn’t care. I didn’t plan on her being out of touching distance from me. Cara continued kissing me, nipping at my tongue and soothing the sting with her lips while I fumbled with the shower stall door. Finally, I managed to open it, reach inside, and turn the dial. Water streamed down bouncing off the glass and splashing us. Cara shrieked again, but the sound of the jets drowned out her voice as I stepped inside taking her with me.

Pushing her against the tiles, I trapped her between my body and the wall, freeing up my hands. They made quick work of unzipping her soaked hoodie, and my already hard dick strained at the sight of her tits underneath her now see-through tank. Ducking my head, I drew one of her peaks into my mouth and sucked gently. Cara yelped and her hands went to my hair, yanking. Pulling my face level with hers, she panted. “What are we doing, Braiden?”

“What we should have been doing all along,” I replied, locking my eyes on hers, trying to tell her everything I should have already had the balls to say. Letting my hands fall to the waistband of her sweatpants, I realized I would have to release her to get her out of them. “Hop down,” I commanded.

She blinked, confusion shining in her hooded eyes, but when I dropped my eyes to her pants, she smiled and lowered her legs for me to inch the material down her legs. Once she had stepped out of them, I lifted her back up and leaned in to kiss her again. Slow and steady, I traced my tongue along her jaw and collarbone working my way up to her earlobe. Her body shuddered against me, and I pulled the hand-me-down t-shirt over my head. Cara’s hands traced over my abs and up across my pecs as my head dropped back into the stream of water. Feather kisses tracked the column of my neck until her lips kissed my scar, and my whole body tingled with need. Nothing felt better than her touching me did.

Okay, maybe one thing.

With one hand, I pushed the track pants and boxers off my hips. My dick sprung free as I clawed at the edge of Cara’s panties, pushing them aside and lining up my dick with her center. I buried one hand in the hair at the nape of her neck, forcing her to look at me as she slid down on me like silk. The feel of her, the water, her eyes full of desire, it was all too much and I stilled inside her, trying to gain some control. My body, still sore and throbbing with pain, couldn’t handle too much, but I didn’t need to worry. Cara gripped onto my shoulders and started moving up and down, riding me. I hooked my arms around her thighs and pulled her off the wall pressing my back against the slick glass.

Eyes still locked on mine, Cara didn’t stop. Pushing up and slamming back down on me, I matched her rhythm, thrusting inside her and drawing breathless moans from her. Everything hurt like a motherfucker. My ribs, my arms, even my dick ached, but I didn’t stop, anchoring her to me, harder and faster. Cara’s moans grew louder but remained muffled by the sound of the shower, and I knew when she was close. Her head dropped back and her eyes fluttered shut as she tightened around me.

“Br-Braiden, don’t stop. God, don’t stop.”

I released one hand to touch her body. I wanted to feel all of her. Every inch. My hands smoothed over her waist, up her back, and eventually came around to squeeze her tits. Rolling her nipple between my fingers, I watched as she came undone. It was the green light I needed, and I pumped into her a couple of more times, forcing her down on my dick until I felt the tingle at the bottom of my spine.

Pleasure rushed through me as I pulled her close, burying my head in her shoulder, water still cascading down around us. I’d been lying to myself when I ever thought I could give this up. She was perfection. Cara O’Connor was everything I ever needed but didn’t know I wanted.

I let my pulse slow down before reaching around her and turning off the shower.

“Shit, Braiden,” she hissed slapping her hand against my chest as I lowered her to the floor. “You didn’t wear a condom.”

“Fuck.” I ran a hand through my hair to drain off the excess water, feeling too damn good to let this be an issue.

“Yeah, fuck.” Cara scowled up at me, and if it weren't so fucking cute, it would have scared me. “If you knock me up, my father will kill you.”

“Blondie.” I pulled her back into the shower as she tried to leave and spun her around. “Your father wants me dead anyway.”

And just like that, one moment of perfection exploded into a perfect fucking mess, but as I followed her out of the shower, I couldn’t wipe the smirk off my face. Because Cara O’Connor was mine.

Now, I just had to find a way to keep her.

~

“Y
ou do realize they probably know you’re in here?” I traced lazy patterns on Cara’s bare shoulder. “Maybe you should-”

She pulled her head up to meet my eyes. “So help me God, do not finish that sentence, Braiden Donohue. I just got you back, so I’m not leaving yet. Besides, of course, they probably know; I’m pretty sure it’s all part of Daddy’s grand plan,” she mused, leaning down to kiss the corner of my mouth.

But something about her remark bothered me. “Grand plan? What the fuck does that mean?”

Cara sighed and flopped back against the pillows, tucking her head into the crook of my arm. “He knows. Mom told him. I’m not sure he knows everything, but he knows enough, and he knows his daughter. I’ve never dated, Braiden. Ever. So for me to like someone, well, it’s kind of a big deal. I’m pretty sure after our little father-daughter talk, he was banking on his stubborn-ass daughter finding a way to pay a late-night visit to her forbidden ...” She tensed and I waited, wondering what she would label us as. “Well, whatever we are. He wants you to choose, Braiden. And there’s only one answer he’ll accept.”

The room zeroed in around us, the pieces all slotting into place. It was O’Connor’s way or nothing. I twisted around to my side and stared down at the girl who owned me. “And us? Are you a part of the deal?”

I knew—of course, I fucking knew, but I had to ask. The tiny seed of hope that tonight had planted; I needed to believe there might have been a chance for us. That maybe, just maybe, we could be together after the dust settled.

Closing her eyes, Cara blinked back the tears, and I reached up and brushed away the ones that escaped. “It’s okay.”

“Okay?” Her eyes opened, widening with disbelief. “How is any of this okay? I can’t imagine never seeing you again.”

A new pain crashed over me and I pulled her closer, inhaling her sweet scent. “Shh, don’t. Let’s just enjoy this, okay?”

“What will you do?”

“Geez, Cara.”

“Sorry, okay. I’m sorry, but time is running out, and I can’t stand it. I need to know what you’ll do.” She pushed up onto her elbow, angling herself to face me. “Will you give him the information he wants?”

“There’s so much you don’t understand, Cara. My sister, my twin sister, is involved with the men who want to bring down your father. Even if I had information to give him, she’s my blood, my only family.” Something bolted through me. “How can I give her up?”

Hurt shone in Cara’s eyes and I heard her unspoken question ...
would you give her up for me?
But that wasn’t the trade-off. If I gave up Doyle and Luke and my sister, I wasn’t getting Cara in return. So what was the point?

“I didn’t realize you had a twin. You never talked about her.”

I leaned down and captured her lips. “It doesn’t change how I feel about you. Nothing about any of this changes how I feel about you. Promise me you’ll always remember that. Whatever happens, know that you’re the only girl I’ve ever loved.”

~ Cara ~

I
waited until sunrise to return to my room. Braiden's t-shirt, the one he'd been wearing at the motel, had been left clean and ironed, by Miranda I suspected. He said I could have it, but the sentiment was lost on me, and hurt had filled my chest leaving me dejected as if it was supposed to be some great gift as we parted ways. But when he'd enveloped me in his strong arms and gazed at me with absolute awe, I wrapped myself around him and refused to let him go. In the end, he had to peel me off him and insist I go back to my room. Each step away from his door and closer to mine felt wrong, stealing away a tiny bit more of my soul. But I managed to wait until I was inside my room before I fell apart. 

I'd promised him I wouldn't cry. Promised I wouldn't go back to my room and break down.

I was a liar.

Did he not realize that leaving him was one of the hardest things I'd ever done, knowing that it could be the last time I ever saw him?

He wasn't ready to choose. He had a sister, a twin. Someone out there with his DNA. His memories, his blood. They shared more than just the same name. How could he ever choose to betray that? A small part of me hoped he would value his own survival over his family, but he wouldn't be the guy I fell in love with if he did.

I moved around my room listlessly. I showered, washing away the memories of Braiden's touch. I didn't need them, not when they were imprinted on my heart. That was where I planned to store everything. Every kiss, touch, the times spent loving him. 

It wasn't enough, yet it was all I had. 

After I had dried myself and dressed, I combed my hair out in front of the mirror. Red and puffy, my eyes no longer shined. Perhaps they never would again. A knock on my door startled me, and for a foolish second, a seed of hope burst in my chest. But Braiden wouldn't come to me. Not now. Not after we'd said goodbye. 

"Baby, can I come in?" Mom was standing in the doorway as I exited my bathroom. "Oh, sweetie, come here." She extended her arms, and I collapsed on her. "It hurts, it hurts so much," I cried feeling my chest crack.

"Shh, baby, shh." She smoothed my damp hair out of my face and led us to my bed.

"It's not fair. None of this is fair."

"Life isn't always fair, Cara."

I cried until my eyes were sore and my body ached. And when there were no more tears left, I pulled away from my mother and said, "Why does it have to be this way? I could just run away with him. I could run away, and
he
couldn't do a damn thing about it."

"Cara," she scolded. "You don't mean that. This is for the best, baby. I know it hurts now and probably feels as if you’ll never get over him, but you were never supposed to meet."

But we did, and I would never be the same again.

No one could take that away from us. From me.

"You could talk to him again. You fell in love with him and stuck by him even when you knew who he was." The words rushed out as I gripped her arm desperately, but sadness washed over my mother's face, and she said, "Baby, that was different. It was a different time."

Defeated, I dropped my eyes. She wasn't on my side. Not now. Mom had done her bit in appealing to her husband to move Braiden out of the annex. But from the regret glistening in her eyes, that was the extent of her willingness to help me.

"One day, you'll understand."

I released her arm and shuffled back to my bed. She was wrong; I would never understand. Broken, I turned away from her and let the tears fall.

“Cara, baby, have I ever told you how your father and I met? The real story?”

I turned slowly, looking over at my mother who was staring at nothing, lost in her memories.

“I thought you met in college?”

Her eyes met mine, and she smiled wistfully. “We did; except I was in college and your father wasn’t.”

“He didn’t go to college? But I always thought-”

“We know you’re not blind to the nature of your father’s business, baby, but there are some things we wanted to protect you from.”

“So you lied?”

“Would you lie if it meant protecting those most important to you?”

My mind went to Braiden, and I sighed. Yes. I’d lie in an instant.

“By the time I was a junior, your father was already moving up the organization. I’d heard his name around campus. Frankie O’Connor, the guy you called if you needed to get your hands on something; drugs, alcohol, cheap electronics.” I winced at my mother’s words. Knowing about their past and hearing it were two very different things. “He had quite the reputation, but he wasn’t a student. He just enjoyed the student lifestyle. The parties, the adventures, the girls.”