Redemption and Regrets (Chastity Falls, #4) (24 page)

“Watch your mouth, young lady, I won’t-”

“I’ll do it.”

My eyes snapped down to Braiden and my mouth dropped open. I was fully aware that he was distracting my father—and saving me from an impossible situation. But that wasn’t the reason I was so shocked. It was the fact he’d chosen, at all.

Braiden was choosing to live.

He was choosing my father. My family.

Me.

My father inhaled, and I saw the relief in his eyes. He wore his mask well, but it was these rare moments that he displayed the fears of a family man. Moments like these made me remember the man I’d known him to be once.

My father.

“Thank you. You have my word that when it’s done, I’ll arrange for you to have a fresh start.” He glanced back and forth between us and pulled his lips into a thin line. “Braiden, I’d like to see you in my private office. The sooner you make contact, the better. It’s been long enough. I’ll give you some time to say goodbye.”

My father’s eyes lingered on me, and I felt them burning into the side of my face. But I refused to look away. I could only stare at the guy who was everything to me.

And would soon be nothing.

Braiden had made his choice—he had chosen me.

But in the end, it didn’t matter because soon, he would leave.

And he wouldn’t ever be coming back.

~ Braiden ~

M
y eyes kept flicking to the door wondering if she was okay. Stupid question. Of course, she’s not fucking okay.

“Is it true?”

“What?” I met O’Connor’s glare, and he blew out an exasperated breath. “Did he try to r- rape her?”

Rage exploded in my chest, and I clenched my fists tight. “Tried. He didn’t. Like she said, I got there just in time.”

O’Connor tugged at his tie and craned his neck from side to side as if he couldn’t breathe, and a part of me couldn’t help but think it served him right. “Sonofabitch,” he hissed. “I trusted him. I trusted him with her life.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes we trust the wrong people. And jealousy is a powerful motivator.”

Despite his stalker tendencies, I didn’t get the impression from Cara that Jason had tried anything before, which suggested that my arrival pushed his buttons a little too far. Some guys lost their shit over being threatened. Didn’t justify it, but it did explain his move into crazy land. He felt threatened, wanted Cara to himself, but instead of trying to win her affection, he tried to take it. I should have punched him harder the first time around.

“Well, he’s being taken care of. And I suppose I’ll have some fixing to do with my daughter.”

I gave him a pointed look. Was he for real? Cara had stood before him only minutes ago and opened her heart for all of us to see, and he was acting as if it had been a meager misunderstanding.

“You might need to work harder than that.”

O’Connor regarded me, and for the first time since meeting him, I actually felt like he saw someone besides the guy he thought he knew. The Braiden Donohue he knew through rumor and reputation. The guy I used to be.

“Thank you.” He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. “Cara thinks I do all of this to hurt her, but I don’t. I have only ever had her best interests at heart. Growing up in this world isn’t easy, and I only ever wanted to keep her safe. I failed, and it would seem you were there when I couldn’t be, so for that I owe you.”

I tipped my chin, taken aback by the sentiment. I didn’t know what I’d expected if it ever did come out that Jason tried to hurt her, but it wasn’t this, that was for sure.

“It doesn’t change anything. I still refuse to give you my blessing, but I am grateful that you were there.”

I wanted to hate the man sitting in front of me. Part of me did, for what he’d done to my family, for keeping Cara from me, but I also understood his position. He wanted to protect Cara from the world he lived in.
Our
world. And he was prepared to do whatever it took—even if she hated him for it. That was something we could agree on because her life was everything.

Because she was better.

Better than her father, better than me. Cara deserved so much better.

“And now, it’s time for you to tell me what you know. You have my word, Braiden. After all of this is done, I’ll see to it that you have a chance to start over.”

“I don’t have anything yet.” I looked him straight in the eye and said, “But I can get it for you.”

~

M
y hand hovered on Cara’s door. All night I’d wrestled with what I was going to do when morning arrived. The coward in me wanted to walk away; to leave without saying goodbye, but I was trying to be better. To be the guy she believed I could be, so I knocked and waited. I heard her shuffle to the door and then it opened and she was staring up at me with complete devastation. I opened my arms and caught her as she collapsed against me.

“Shh,” I said over the thick lump in my throat. “I’ve got you.”

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? I didn’t have her—I couldn’t. O’Connor was offering me a one-time deal; a fresh start that didn’t include his daughter. And for as much as I wanted to take her with me—to haul her over my shoulder and make a break for it—part of me wondered if he was right. Could I really give her the life she deserved? We could move away—leave behind the memories of this place, Forest Grove, even Chastity Falls—but the sins of my past would still be there living inside me. I had to live with the things I’d done, the knowledge that I’d almost killed someone, every day of my life. She loved me now, but what if one day the truth of who I was became too much?

What if it destroyed us?

I couldn’t live with that—do that to her—which was why this was the better alternative. It felt wrong and hurt like a motherfucker now, but one day, I would be a distant memory in Cara’s mind.

The door closed behind us as I carried her to the bed and sat down with her cradled in my lap. “Whe-when do you leave?” Cara pulled away from my shoulder and met my eyes.

“Now.”

“Now? No, no, there isn’t enough time. It’s not enough time,” she cried burying her head in my chest.

“Hey, hey.” My fingers drifted under her chin, tilting her head back. “Everything’s going to be okay. This, us, it wasn’t meant to last. I wasn’t ever meant to be in Forest Grove at the stadium. Our paths were never supposed to cross.”

Hurt clouded her eyes and I realized I was fucking everything up again. I was shit at this kind of thing, but I had to say something to take that look off her face—to reassure her that this was the right thing. I swallowed hard.

“Cara O’Connor, you are stubborn and annoying and that bubble gum habit you have is fucking disgusting, but I wouldn’t change a single moment with you. The good, the bad, and the downright ugly, I’ll remember every second I spent with you. You taught me how to love.” I leaned down to touch my nose to hers, breathing her in, imprinting the moment on my mind ... my soul ... my newly beating heart. “I will never forget you, but I want you to live your life. Go back to college, learn art, meet guys, travel, make mistakes, bring home a guy that your father can’t stand, but most of all, love. Promise me.”

Tears spilled out of her eyes as she clutched my hoodie. “I- I can’t, Braiden, what you’re asking ... I- I’m not sure I-”

“Shh.” I ducked and captured her lips. “You have to. Goodbye, Cara.”

My tongue swept into her mouth, and I only hoped that the feel of my lips moving against hers told her everything I wanted to say and didn’t have time to. She was it for me. Maybe one day, I’d find someone, meet a girl and settle down, but Cara O’Connor would always be the girl who taught me how to love.

Untangling Cara from my body, I placed her down on the bed beside me and ran my eyes over her one last time. I wanted to remember everything, every curve, her smile, the way she narrowed her eyes when she was pissed, and how her hair grazed her shoulders every time she moved.

Slowly, I stood and started backing out of the room. Cara wrapped her arms around her knees and followed me with her swollen, tear-stained eyes. I felt the door come up behind me and reached back to grab the handle. She was right; there wasn’t enough time. This couldn’t be it. But it was. This was it. I was going to turn the handle, walk out of her room ... and out of her life.

Forever.

~

A
fter reuniting me with my cell and handing me an envelope of bills, O’Connor had given me the keys to one of the cars locked up in the double garage adjoining the house. I had a long ride ahead of me, and a bucket load of regrets to dwell on. Of all people to wave me off, Annie O’Connor had slipped out of the house and appeared in the garage to say goodbye. I saw the regret in her eyes and wondered if she wished things could have been different for her daughter and the guy she loved.

Loved.

It was something I wouldn’t ever have a chance to get used to, the idea that someone like Cara could possibly love someone like me. But I had to put her out of my mind and focus on the task ahead.

When I’d turned on my cell phone, the notifications went crazy with eight days’ worth of messages. Briony and Luke had left voicemail after voicemail. Even Jack Doyle had called a couple of times. O’Connor had asked me what I planned to do, but I told him it didn’t matter. I would get the job done, and that was all he needed to be concerned about.

Actually, I had no fucking clue what I was going to do when I rolled into Astoria, but one thing was crystal clear; I was done being anyone’s puppet. Although hatred still burned deep for O’Connor and he’d manipulated me with the truth, he’d still been the one to give it to me. He had been the one to reveal details of my life and the lies it was built upon. Not Briony or Jack Doyle—the man who claimed to be a great friend to my family—no, it was the man who once wanted me dead.

Fueled by anger and frustration and hurt, three hours and one-hundred-and-eighty miles passed by in a blur, and before I had time to formulate a solid plan, I saw the signs for Astoria. I exited the highway a couple of miles out and pulled into a motel to rent a room and dump the car. Briony and Luke needed to believe I’d been dealing with my own shit. If they so much as got a scent of my time with O’Connor, I was toast.

The room wasn’t much to look at, but it had hot water and a mini bar, so I took a shower to work out the kinks in my neck and arms from the drive, and then grabbed a beer and laid out on the bed. My mind was a fucking mess. A swamp of what-ifs and could-have-beens.

Jackson.

Cara.

My father.

Cara.

O’Connor.

Cara.

Everything came back to her. The pain in my chest sucked the wind right out of me every time I let myself think about her. About what she was doing right now. Was she okay? Did she hate me?

Did she understand?

My cell vibrated and I retrieved it from the small table next to the bed.

“Hello.”

“God, Braiden. You gave me a fucking heart attack. When Luke said you’d called, I almost cried. And I never fucking cry. Where are you? He said you’re coming back? Soon? God, tell me everything.”

I sank back into the thin motel issue pillows and took a swig of beer before answering. “Calm down, B. I’m okay. Like I told you, I needed time.”

“Time? Braiden, it’s been days. We’ve been going out of our damn minds.”

“I had stuff I needed to do. I went back.”

“Went back wh ... wait, you mean you went home?”

Home.
Something pulsed through me, but I shut it down. Chastity Falls was no longer my home. Deep down, it hadn’t been for some time.

“Yeah. I needed to see it. Be there. I can’t explain it, but it was something I needed to do. Alone.”

“Well, yeah.” My sister’s voice softened. “I get that, but geez, you could have given us a heads-up.”

“I’m sorry, okay. It hit me pretty hard. I left, hit a couple of towns, got trashed, hooked up with so-”

“Okay, okay, spare me the details. But you’re back, for real? You’re coming back?”

I propped the beer bottle between my legs and dragged my hand over my head. The lies were coming too easily.
Is it supposed to be this easy?
“Yeah, I’m back. I just checked into a room for the night. I need a shower and some shuteye, but I should arrive in town tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay? Of course, it’s okay. It’s what we’ve all been waiting for.” I heard the relief in her voice, and it made my chest constrict. I had made my choice, and it was one I was sticking to, but she was still family.

“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow.” I ended the call and threw the cell phone onto the bed beside me.

I thought prison changed me, and it did in many ways. But tomorrow was different. Tomorrow wouldn’t just change everything; it would end everything.

Tomorrow, Braiden Donohue disappeared forever.