Redemption and Regrets (Chastity Falls, #4) (28 page)

~

I
busied myself with work but with Max, my colleague, out in the field and no other active cases after a couple of hours of paperwork, I gave in. Ever since I'd gotten the call, unwanted memories had slowly seeped into my mind. Memories I'd fought hard to lay to rest.

When Ana and I first moved out to Tampa, my world had crashed down around me. I hardly recognized myself back then, but finding out that the man who raised me as his own had murdered my father changed me. The need for revenge had burned through my veins like poison until it almost consumed me. But Ana was my anchor. She pulled me out of the darkness and wrapped me up in her light. And we were in a good place now, we were...

"Jackson?"

My head shot up and my eyes connected with a face that would always be my tether to a better life. The life I wanted now—a life far away from Chastity Falls. "You're home early."

"Apparently, morning sickness can kick in at any time." She rubbed gentle circles over her stomach. "What's wrong? And don't tell me nothing. I know you."

She did. Better than anyone did. I couldn't keep this from her; it was foolish to ever think I could. Patting the space next me, I said, "Come here."

Ana crossed the room to me, concern shining in her eyes. "What is it? You're scaring me."

I reached for her hand and pulled her down to the couch. "You know I love you more than anything and that I'd never do anything to hurt you, right?"

"Jackson." Her hand moved to palm my cheek as she searched my eyes for the truth.

"He called. Frankie called."

"Okay."

He did call from time to time; it was probably why Ana looked confused about why this time was such a big deal. It wasn't like she ever imagined this day would come—neither of us had. But as I repeated the conversation I'd had with Frankie this morning, Ana closed down. Her hand drifted away from my face and the loss of her touch stung, burning through me. She didn't understand. How could she? It was too much to ask of her, I knew that, but words tattooed on my chest refused to just ignore Frankie's request.
Blood makes you related, loyalty makes you family.
Deep down, it still meant something to me. I’d chosen Ana, chosen a life with her over a life of lies and secrets, but I would always feel
something
for the family I’d spent so many years a part of.

"When?" Ana said coolly and my heart ached at the thought of her hurting. I would give her space, respect her right to get pissed with me, but I hoped it wouldn't last because I needed her.

I needed her more than she would ever know.

"Tonight."

Her face paled, the color draining from her features. "I- I'm sorry." She leaped up, arms folded across her chest as if she was holding herself together. "I can't, I'm sorry."

I watched the woman I loved, the mother of my unborn child, flee from the room.

From me.

From the stains of our past.

~

I
didn’t go to her. Ana needed to deal with this in her own way, and I was probably the last person she wanted to see. I was the one, after all, who had agreed to Frankie’s crazy plan. Of course, when he’d granted us our own freedom, I never suspected that it might come with a price.

Well, it seemed he was finally cashing in. But given the circumstances, I couldn’t blame him. I took a long pull on the bottled beer and glanced at the clock for the hundredth time. It would be any time now.

Another drink.

Another glance.

It continued that way until the doorbell finally rang. The sound reverberated through me, the room closing in on me, and in slow motion, I rose from the chair and crossed the room to the door. My hand lingered over the handle, but I couldn't open it. It was as if some invisible force was holding me back because it knew once I opened it, everything would change. The life I’d built for myself—for Ana and my unborn child—would spiral out of control. What was I doing? I owed Frankie, more than I cared to admit, but was it really worth risking everything for?

Doubt paralyzed me and I stood staring at the handle, blood pounding in my ears, and my heart ready to explode out of my chest.

And then I felt her.

Ana's small hand slid into mine as she curled into my side. "I’m here. This doesn’t change anything. He can’t hurt us anymore."

"But I thought ..." I couldn't say the words.

"I hate this. Hate that I want to throw up just thinking about it, but a lot of time has passed. We're not the same people anymore, Jackson, and if Frankie is asking you do this, it must be important.”

Ana, my voice of reason.

My everything.

She squeezed my hand and I inhaled a sharp breath. Together, we would face this ... and we would survive. My hand closed around the handle and turned. The door swung open and my eyes fell on a face I never imagined seeing again.

“Hello, Pierce.”

~ Ana ~

The tray shook in my hands, and I felt Cara’s eyes on me. No doubt all of this was a little strange for her. The history, the palpable tension, my nerves. I’d invited her to help me make refreshments for everyone, to give Jackson and Braiden some time. In truth, I needed to be away from him. From the guy who had made my life a living hell at Chastity Falls Academy. Braiden Donohue was someone I never wanted to see again, and now, he was here, sitting in my house.

“Ana? Can I take that?” Cara laid a hand on my arm and my eyes flicked to hers. I had stopped, frozen outside of the door leading into the living room.

“No, no, I’m fine.”

“He told me.” I blinked unsure if I had heard her correctly. “Braiden, he told me about what happened when you were at college together. The things he did to you. I’m sorry. But you should know, Ana, that’s not the guy I fell in love with in Forest Grove.”

Cara was a sweetheart, and I’d warmed to her immediately, but it only made it harder to understand what she saw in Braiden. How someone like her had fallen for someone like him? And more importantly, how they’d ended up in this situation; running from Seattle the way we’d run from Chastity Falls. But I couldn’t deny their connection. The love between them. And for as much as I wanted to hate it, I couldn’t. I wasn’t that girl anymore. Jackson and I had survived so much,
lived
so much, that when I saw the way Cara looked at Braiden, it reminded me of a time when the odds had been stacked against us. We’d been given a second chance—found our redemption.

Maybe Cara was his.

“Ana?”

“Sorry,” I said shaking clear the thoughts. “It’s ... it’s been a long time.”

Cara smiled softly, understanding flashing in her eyes, and moved ahead of me to enter the room. The atmosphere was suffocating, but when Jackson’s eyes met mine, I knew that this was just another obstacle we would overcome.

Together, we could survive anything.

~ Braiden ~

“So Cara O’Connor, huh? Didn’t see that coming, but she seems nice.”

We’d left Ana and Cara inside. Ana felt sick from the pregnancy, and I think Cara knew we needed to talk. It was as awkward as fuck, though, and I was beginning to think this whole plan of O’Connor’s was as screwed up as everything else in my life.

“She’s a handful.”

Jackson laughed, and it stirred something in me. Memories I’d long pushed down. Inside Oregon State, I’d tried not to dwell on Jackson too much. He had been my best friend, brother ... family, and it stung too damn much to let myself go there. But sitting in his yard, drinking beer and talking like old times, I realized just how much I’d missed it.

Him.

“She loves you,” he stated like it was the most normal thing in the world when I was still adjusting to the very idea that someone as good as her could love someone as fucked up as me.

“Yeah.” I leaned back in the lawn chair. “I guess she does. I just hope I get this right.” My voice was thick with regret, of apologies left unsaid, and I held Jackson’s stare trying to convey everything I wanted to say but couldn’t. It felt wrong. How could I ever look him in the eye after everything I’d done? The pain I’d caused. But, at the same time, I needed to try to make him see.

Maybe another day somewhere down the line I’d be ready to say the words. To tell him how sorry I was for everything. His father. Ana. All of the ugly things I did to him. But today was not that day.

I needed to make peace with myself first—and there was still a long way to go.

“What went down? Frankie gave me the CliffsNotes, but I’m guessing it’s bad if you’re here with his daughter.”

“Honestly? I’m still not one hundred percent sure what the hell is going on. I spent four years of my life inside, rotting, only to be released and thrown into the middle of a war I know nothing about and all because of my name. Things are fucked up, but one thing is for sure, O’Connor is gunning for blood now.”

Jackson’s eyes bore into me waiting for more details, but O’Connor had sent us to Tampa in hopes of us finding a fresh start. He wanted Cara to have a life away from the organization, from his business. The envelope he had given me at the diner contained everything we needed to make that happen. Falsified documents, enough money to get us on our feet, and transfer papers for Cara. The man worked quick, and it made me wonder if he knew things were going to get a lot worse before they got better.

“And you’re okay with that? Knowing that people will get hurt? That Briony might get hurt?”

My throat dried. “I’ve made my peace with it.” And I had. I’d asked O’Connor to try to keep my sister out of it, but truth be told, she’d made her bed. She was driven by the need for revenge and chances were it would get her killed.

“It’s her, isn’t it?”

“Who? Cara?”

“Yeah. It all changed when you met her?”

I nodded stiffly uncomfortable with how Jackson could see straight through me. “Yeah, she was the game changer. I never got it before, but she shifted everything. How did you know?”

“Because I’ve been there.” His eyes flickered over to the house where Ana and Cara were. He reached into the cooler and handed me another beer. “So what now?”

That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it.

“Now, it’s time to find out who Braiden Donohue really is.”

––––––––

THE END

You can listen to the playlist at

www.lacotton.com

Outcast – Shinedown

Monster – Paramore

Jet Black Heart – 5 Seconds of Summer

Dance With The Devil – Breaking Benjamin

Only If For A Night – Florence and the Machine

The Real Me – Giosada

Numbers – Daughter

Going Under – Evanescence

24 Hours – Sky Ferreira

Ashes of Eden – Breaking Benjamin

Redemption – Rob Baird

End Of All Days – Thirty Seconds to Mars

Nothing Else Matters - Metallica

Contemporary romance and romantic suspense

... written with feeling

L.A is author of contemporary romance novels ranging from sweet with just a hint of steam, to suspenseful reads full of angst, tension, twists and turns. Home is a small town in the middle of England where she currently juggles being a full-time mum to two little people with writing. In her spare time (and when she’s not camped out in front of the laptop) you’ll most likely find L. A immersed in a book, escaping the chaos that is life.

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W
riting the ending of any book is always bittersweet, but writing ‘the end’ on a series that has consumed your life for the past eighteen months is very sad indeed. When I first published Loyalty and Lies, I didn’t know if people would love it or hate, or if it would just be one of those ‘okay’ stories that people picked up and read and then moved onto the next book. Of course, I hoped people would connect to the characters and the mysterious goings on of Chastity Falls the way I had, but I didn’t really know what to expect.

Chastity Falls quite literally changed my life. It was the first time I realized that I had a shot at making a career out of doing something I love ... and it still makes me smile when I receive a message or review from somebody that read and loved the series. I never anticipated writing Braiden’s story – I always planned to write a spin-off series for Dennis (watch this space), but one day I started to listen to him and Redemption and Regrets was born. But it really wouldn’t have happened without so many of you getting behind this series. And so, I dedicate this acknowledgment to every reader, blogger, and author that has picked up, shared, reviewed, told a friend about, messaged me about, spread the word about, or just fallen in love with these books and characters the way I have.

Thank you all so much.

Thank you for taking a chance on my stories, thank you for loving (and hating) these characters, and thank you for being there for the last year or so. It really does mean the world!