Redheads are Soulless (5 page)

“
What can I say? You’re very convincing.”

I rolled my eyes playfully and took a sip of my Orange Crush soda.

“You have beautiful eyes.”

I put my head down a little, as if I could hide them. “They’re so plain and ordinary,” I responded.

“They’re unique and
extraordinary
. They’re dark brown, but they have the slightest hint of hazel in them.” I looked up to meet his gaze. “Your eyes were so sad when we first met.”

“And they’re not sad now?”

“No.
In fact, they sparkle.
”

I cleared my throat. “Well, my mom has been spending more time with me. Tomorrow, we are actually going to go shopping together.”

“Isn’t that what mother
s and daughters do, shop together?” he asked.

“I’ve actually never been shopping with my mom.”
The conversation had taken an awkward turn.

“What do you like to do in your free time?” Jason changed the subject.

“I study – a lot,” I shrugged my shoulders. “I also listen to music when I can. My CD player broke, and we haven’t been able to afford a new one.”

“So you like music?”

“Very much,” I replied. “I have always wanted to learn the guitar.”

“I could teach you,” he offered.

“You play guitar?”

He nodded.

Wow – that is kind of… hot
.
I’ve always dreamed of dating a musician. Something about
a guy
who play
s…
i
t’
s just so irresistible to me.

“Can I play for you sometime?”

Unable to speak, I just nodded my head. At that moment, our waitress came with the pizza. I was glad for the distraction.

Jason took a bite of the pizza and swallowed before speaking. “You were right. This is very good.”

“Told ya,” I winked playfully at him.

“I do believe you’ve stolen my heart.”

Wait, is he talking about me, or the pizza?
“Yes, the pizza is good,” I said, going with the pizza theory.

“I wasn’t talking about the pizza… It’s good, but you, Sofia Black, have stolen my heart.”

My heart sped up.
“I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“I’m not,” he grinned at me.

I took a bite of my pizza, trying to avoid saying anything else… I cannot allow Jason to steal
my
heart
… Though, it may be too late for that.

Jason brought me home by 11:45 that night. I didn’t want to stop hanging out, but I figured that I would need sleep for the next day… I wondered how early we would get up to go shopping. I smiled at the thought of spending the whole day with my mom.

“I had a nice time tonight,” I told Jason as I reached for my door handle.

“I’ll walk you to your door,” he walked around the car and opened my door.
He held out his hand and I accepted it.

Wow, what a gentleman
, I thought as he helped me out of the car.

Once we reached my front door, I turned around towards him. I suddenly felt shy and awkward. My heart was beating so fast in my chest. I knew if I tried to speak I couldn’t.

“I don’t want to push you, but I would love to do this again, Sof. I like you, a lot,” he said before kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon.”

With that, he left me standing by my front door. I watched him get in his car and drive away. My cheek was still tingling from his kiss.

Jason Morgan – what are you doing to me?

Five

Relapse

After a few minutes of staring down the road, I walked inside my house.
Once inside, I leaned against the closed door, unable to move.
I touched my cheek in remembrance of the kiss that had just occurred, and smiled.

Finally, I pushed myself off the door and started to head towards my room.

“Sofie, is that you?” I hear
d
my mom yell.

My heart dropped.

Her voice was slurred.

I looked over to the couch, and saw her sitting there with a half empty bottle of
whiskey in her hand
. I was mad. I looked down at my hand, and saw that it was trembling.

How could my mom do this to me? After she promised she wouldn’t… It was all a lie. I should have known better than to believe that she would change.

My mom picked up the bottle to take another drink, and suddenly, the glass bottle shattered into a million tiny pieces, whisk
ey, glass and blood all fel
l to the carpet.

My mom slurred curse words as she held her hand. “Don’t just stand there. Get me something!”
She yelled.

I stood there frozen. I was staring at the woman who wasn’t really my mom… I was sick of this person – I just wanted my mom back.

I turned my back towards her and
headed to
the front door, unwilling to talk to her, or help her.
I just wanted to get out of there, away from her. I had to think.

“Don’t walk out that door!”
She screamed behind me.

I didn’t waiver, I walked out, slamming the door behind me. When I slammed the door, the light bulb on the front porch shattered… I didn’t think I shut the door
that
hard, bu
t I
was
pretty mad, so maybe I shut it harder than I realized.
I started walking down the street. I didn’t know where I was going, but I had to go somewhere.

My phone in my pocket started buzzing. I figured it was my mom calling from our house phone. As I went to hit “ignore”, I realized it was Jason calling, so I answered.

“Hello,” my voice was shaky.

“What’s wrong?” I could hear the panic i
n
Jason’s voice.

“It’s just… my mom!” I yelled through the phone at him. “She’s drunk again, and I just can’
t take it anymore. I want
my real mom back
… I just left. I can’t go back there tonight, I just can’t.”

“Where are you?” he asked.

“I’m a couple blocks away from my house,” I answered.

“Stay there,” he demanded, and hung up the phone.

2 minutes later, Jason pulled up beside me in
his car and I got in. Unable to hold the tears any longer, I cried into his shoulder while he held me.
I cried there for about 5 minutes before I said anything.

“I’m sorry.
”

He pushed my hair behind my ear. “It’s ok, Sof, I promise.”

“You don’t have to stay here with me. You can go home. I’ll go somewhere and sleep in my truck.”

He put his car
in first gear
and
sped
off. “You are not sleeping in your car. You’re coming to my house.”

“What about your parents?”

“They’re never home.” I could hear a double meaning in his voice, but I didn’t push the subject. “You can sleep in my bed.”

I gasped.

“I will sleep on the couch,” he promised.

“That doesn’t seem very fair to you,” I protested.

“Haven’t you realized by now that I would do
anything
for you?” His voice was soft and sincere. I knew that he truly meant what he said.

“Thank you,” I said back lamely.

What do you say to somebody who says that to you? Really, since the death of my father, nobody has truly cared about me. Sure, I know my mom
cares
, but she cares about her addictions more than me
… 
All I’ve wanted in life was for somebody to truly care about me, and for somebody to love me. And here he is, right in front of me, and all I can think is: I hope he doesn’t hurt me.

I’ve put up walls and barriers around my heart, and I’ve done it for a reason. It sucks losing somebody you love to death… Not only did I lose my dad, but I lost my mom too.
Drugs and alcohol have changed her for the worst, and there is nothing that I can do to help her.

It sucks. Period.

…

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I was in a strange
bed. I tried to think where I was. The last thing I remember
ed w
as
being
in Jason’s car.

Did he carry me in here?
Surely not.

I looked around the large room. I lay in the middle of the softest king sized bed, ever. It had a
gray
comforter and
white
sheets. I could stay here all day.

The walls were plain white, but had several posters of different bands I didn’t recognize.
In the corner was an electric guitar. I would have gone to pick it up, but it looked expensive.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Jason greeted me
as he walked in
. “I was wondering when you were going to wake up.”

I glanced at the clock on the wall.
10:30
.

“I don’t remember coming to bed last night.”

“You were asleep, so I carried you
,” he smiled. “You’re really cute when you sleep.”

I had a
sudden urge to hide my face in a pillow. “Ugh, that’s so embarrassing. Why didn’t you wake me?”

“And miss out
on all the fun?” He
slightly
raised
his
eye
brow.

Suddenly, I remembered my mom’s hand and how it was bleeding. “When I left, my mom was hurt. I should probably check on her.”

“She was hurt?”

“Yeah… It was really weird. She picked up a half empty bottle of whiskey and it just shattered into
a thousand
pieces
in
her hand. I think one of the pieces must have cut her,” I explained.

“It shattered?” He asked. “How is that possible? Do
you know how thick the glass is
on those bottles?”

I shook my head. “I don’t go near the stuff.”

“Were you mad right before it happened?”

I nodded my head. “Yeah, of course I was mad. My mom has been alcohol and drug free for a month, and I walked in to find her completely wasted. You’d be mad too.”

“Did anything else strange happen? Anything else break?” His questions were starting to get a little odd.

“Umm, well, when I left I slammed the door hard and I broke the light bulb on the front porch,” I answered. “Why are you asking me these questions?”

“No reason,” he shrugged.

I grabbed my cell phone off the night stand. “I’m going to call her real quick.”

“Ok,” he started to step out. “I’ll be in the living room when you’re done.”

After the door shut, I dialed my home number.
The phone rang about 12 times before she answered.

“Hello,” she said, her voice was slurred. I could tell that she was still drunk.

“Mom, its Sof. How are you?” I asked.

“Never better,” she answered.

“How is your hand?”

“It’s fine. I’ve got a Hello Kitty band aid on it. Are we still goin
’
to the mall today?”

“Mom, you’re drunk. I’m not going anywhere with you. I’ll see you later, ok?”

I heard her knock something over. “
Bye.” She pushed a few numbers before finally hanging up. I rolled my eyes, even though she wasn’t there to see.

I got off the bed, and walked into the living room where Jason was sitting on the
brown leather couch
.
Directly in front of the couch was a large entertainment center that held a ton of gaming systems, an amp for the surround sound, and the biggest TV I had ever seen in my life.

“How’s your mom?”
Jason asked
with
his voice full
of concern.

“Drunk,” I answered bitterly.

A soda can on the coffee tab started to rattle. He quickly picked it up and took a drink out of it.

“Did you… hear that?”

“Hear what?”

I sighed. “Never mind, I think I’m going crazy
,” I sat down beside him. “Let’s talk about something, anything, other than my mother.”

“I was thinking that maybe we could go to
Mobile
today,” he suggested.

“What would we do there?” I asked.

“You’ll see.”

I eyed him suspiciously, but I didn’t push it. I
just
followed him out to his car.
I would do anything to get my mind off my mom.

“Can we stop by my place real quick? I want to at least change my clothes,” I said motioning towards the outfit I had on yesterday.

When we got to my house, my mom was passed out on the couch. The living room reeked of stale whiskey and cheap beer.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized as we stepped over a pile of beer cans. I led him into my bedroom, since there was nowhere else for him to go.

I suddenly felt embarrassed by my room. The sheets on my bed were the same ones I got for my tenth birthday, pink with purple hearts all over. A small purple dinosaur set in the middle of my bed – it was the last present my dad ever gave me.

Jason didn’t say a word about my room. I think he sensed my embarrassment about the whole situation. He sat down on
the edge of
my bed.

I grabbed my favorite pair of jeans and a purple hoodie from my closet. “Be right back,” I said before heading towards the bathroom down the hall.

Once in the bathroom
,
I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair into a ponytail. My curls were still intact, which surprised me, so my hair actually looked
good
. After putting on my clean clothes, I quickly walked back to my room.

“Ready?” I asked Jason. He was standing by my nightstand, holding the picture of my dad and me. I cleared my throat. “That was my dad.”

“What happened to him?” he asked, genuinely concerned.

I could feel the tears that threatened to escape. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

He put the picture down, and walked towards me, giving me a hug. I allowed him to comfort me in that moment. It felt nice to be
embraced
.

Since my dad’s death, nobody had ever comforted me, not really. My mom abandoned ship, and I was left alone.
I was scared. I wanted my mom to be there for me, but she wasn’t. It was like she couldn’t stand the sight of her own daughter.

I took a step back. “I’m sorry.” I wiped the fresh tears from my eyes. “I’m ready to go.”

Jason grabbed my hand as we walked out of the house. I shut the door softly so I wouldn’t wake up my mom. He once again opened the car door for me. I liked being treated like this – he made me feel special.

Once we were on the road,
Jason reached for my hand
. I let him hold it. I loved the butterflies that came to my stomach whenever we touched.

I couldn’t understand why he liked me so much. There was nothing special about me… I’m tall and scrawny – 5’9”, and barely over 100 pounds. My skin is pale, even during the summer months. I couldn’t get a tan, even if I wanted one. It’s true what they say about redheads not being able to tan. I burn easily.
My face has
a few freckles, spread from my cheeks and across my nose.

Jason on the other hand looks like a freaking Greek god. He has this natural tan, and muscular arms
. He definitely does
not have the body of a 17 year old boy. I assumed under his shirt he had a six pack, but I had yet to see him with his shirt off
.

My heart beat erotically at the thought of seeing Jason with his shirt off. I took a deep breath to calm myself down
.

“
Do you feel sorry for me
?” I asked.

He seemed caught off guard by my question. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,
why are you trying so hard to be my friend
?”

He shook his head. “I’m not
trying
to be your friend.”