Redheads are Soulless (10 page)

What am I doing here
?

“You can’t come in here. It’s not safe,” he paused for a moment before adding, “I’m not safe.”

“I don’t believe you,” I said softly as I made my way towards his bed.

Yep, it’s official – I have completely lost it.

“I’m serious,” he warned me. “Jason is the one who can keep you safe. Forget about me.”

I looked him in the eyes. I wanted so badly to lie down beside him. It took all my strength to resist. “I can’t forget about you,” it came out barely above a whisper. “I don’t care if I’m safe or not.”

Robbie stood up. He towered at least 6 inches over me. He looked at me longingly as he pushed my bangs behind my ears. The second his hand left me, I missed his touch. I wanted him to touch me more.

“I can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt.”

“I can’t stand being away from you anymore.”

He sighed. “No, Sofia, you can’t. You have to stay away from me. I’m serious. I am bad for you. Jason is the good one, he deserves you.”

“But I don’t want him,” I admitted boldly. “I want you.”

With my words, all of his resistance melted. He hungrily made his way to my lips. His lips covered mine, and I groaned as I gave into him.

Robbie – my Robbie.

I loved the
feeling of his hands on my back.
H
e gently pulled me closer to him. He kissed me harder, yet it wasn’t hard enough. I wanted more. I needed more. Now that I had him, I was going to be selfish.

Suddenly, he stopped kissing me. I instantly missed the warmth of his lips. He slowly backed away.
He was breathing just as heavily as I was. It was good to know he was just as affected by that kiss as I was.

“Go to Jason,” he demanded. “Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“But I…” I started to protest, but he cut me off.

“Go now!”

His words stung worse than if I had been slapped in the face. How could he kiss me like that and just tell me to go?

I ran out of his room, and back to Jason’s. Tears ran fre
ely down my face as I gently laid
down beside
Jason
. In his slumber,
he
put his arm protectively around me.

Safe… Jason made me feel safe.

Too bad that just
isn’t enough anymore.

Now that I knew how it fe
l
t to have
Robbie against me,
to feel the warmth of his body,
and t
o
taste
his lips, he
was going to be harder than ever to resis
t.

Eleven

Don’t stare

Now, more than ever, I wish
ed that
I had a mom to talk to, a real mom wh
o loved me more than alcohol, and more than
her new boyfriend.

I wish
ed my dad wasn’t dead. I had
so many questions
that
I want
ed
and need
ed
to ask him about
what
I am. Sure, Jason answers
most
of my questions, but I know
he leaves out a lot of stuff for my
safety
.

I don’t even have any girl friends, but would it
make any difference
if I did
? What would I say to them if I did? They would think I was completely crazy if I told them the truth.

I’m not really human
…
And the thing is I’m still trying to accept it myself.

Yep, crazy.

I at least wish I had somebody to talk to about Robbie. I mean, I can’t talk to Jason… I’m technically
cheating
on him.
Ugh. I hate that. Cheaters are the worst, and I am kissing his BROTHER behind his back. That makes it way worse.

Just the
thought of Robbie
made my heart race
, and
that
made me nauseous. He murdered my father. This is not something I should be feeling towards
the person who killed my father.

I put a cold, wet wash
cloth on my forehead. “What am I doing?” I asked myself out loud.

First: I
absolutely have to get over Robbie. Second: I have to figure out what he is hiding from Jason and
me.
Whatever it is, I have a feeling it could save my life.

Well, here goes
nothing
.

As I walked out of the bathroom, I bumped into a shirtless Robbie.

Don’t stare, don’t stare, don’t stare,
I repeated to myself over and over.

“Are you done in there?” he asked calmly. “I need to take a shower.”

I nodded, unable to speak. His abs
w
ere
as beautiful as I
had
pictured
them
in my head. I wanted nothing more than to run my hands over his stomach and chest.

“Can you move?” he asked a few seconds later. The look on his face told me he was amused.

I cleared my throat and stepped out of the way. I tried to pretend I wasn’t affected by him. I failed.

He stepped past me, as he did his shoulder brushed mine. “See you at school, Sofie.” He winked at me
, and shut the bathroom door.

I stood there for a few more moments, staring at the door. It was going to take a lot to get the image of Robbie shirtless out of my head.

“Hey, Sofie,” Jason greeted me. “You ready for school?”

I looked up at him. I was sure my face was flushed, but I tried to act normal. “Yeah
,” I nodded.

I followed him out to his car and got in. The ride to school was extra quiet.

“Are you ok?” Jason asked me, breaking the silence.

I
nodded my head
. “
Yeah,
I’m fine.”

“You can talk to me about anything, you know,” he encouraged me.

“I know. I guess maybe I’m worried about my mom,” it was
the truth
, but only half the truth. “I think she is making a huge mistake by moving in with her new boyfriend.”

He
shook
his head. “Your mom is an adult. She can take care of herself. You shouldn’t worry so much.”

“I know, I know. I can’t help it though. She’s my mom. I will always worry about her.”

When I looked over at Jason, he was looking at me intensively. He reached his hand to my face and gently caressed my cheek with his thumb. “I’m really sorry about everything that is happening with my brother. Once he leaves, things will go back to the way they were.”

I instantly felt panicked at the thought of Robbie leaving, but I
forced a
smile. “I don’t
think
things will ever be the way they were.”

“You’re right,” he smiled. “They will only get better.”

I tried to smile back, but I just couldn’t. It was a lie, and I had lied enough lately.

When I tried to take a deep breath, I couldn
’t. My heart felt like it weighed
a thousand pounds in my chest. I pushed my stress as far to the back of my mind as I could. I had to focus on school.

When we got to class, I noticed the blonde girl I saw yesterday was sitting in the row directly in front of me. She turned around and actually winked at me. My breath caught in my throat. Her eyes were even lighter colored than they were yesterday. They were such a light blue, they almost looked white.
I was certain then that I had never seen her before. I know everybody in Peckville, and she isn’t like anybody I’ve ever seen before.

“Who is that girl?” I whispered to Jason.

Jason looked up, but the girl was facing forward so he only saw the back of her head. He shrugged his shoulders.

Robbie took the seat on the other side of me just as the second bell rang.

When Mr. Franks took roll, I paid extra attention to hear the girl’s name…
Adrianne
.

I was determined to learn more about Adr
ianne. Who i
s she? How did she just magically appear here, and fit in perfectly from day one? How long ha
s
she been here?
Maybe I am
just
being paranoid, but something about
this girl gives me the creeps.

When the bell rang, I went to find the girl to introduce myself, but she always seemed to disappear every time I looked away.

Finally, at the last class of the day, I was more than determined than ever to talk to Adrianne. I didn’t take my eyes off her all class. As soon as the bell rang, I started to walk up to her, but was disrupted by Marie.

“Hey, Sofia,” she greeted me cheerfully. Her head til
t
ed to the side
s
lightly as she looked at me. “I love what you’ve done with your hair. It used to be so frizzy, what do you do differently?”

I couldn’t figure out why Marie, the head cheerleader, was talking to
me
. She has never said more than two words to me, ever. Why did she
have to
start today? “Nothing.”

“Well, I like it,” she smiled. “You’re really pretty. You should try out for the cheerleading squad.”

I was sure my face looked shocked. “Look, Marie, I’m flattered, really, but senior year is half over. Plus, we have never been friends before. Why are you trying to talk to me now?”

Now she looked confused. “I really don’t know. I just had this overwhelming desire to come talk to you. I’ll see you later, Sofia.”

With that, she turned and walked away. I turned to look for Adrianne again, but
once again, she was gone.

“Sof
, you ready?” I heard Jason call from behind me.

I wasn’t ready, but I didn’t want to bring the girl up anymore to Jason. I just followed him out to his car
.

We drove home, and hung out watching TV. Jason ordered pizza, and Robbie had been out all afternoon. He got back around seven that night. He looked really annoyed when he walked in, so I didn’t say anything. He just walked to his room and shut the door.

A few minutes later, he came back in the living ro
om wearing only a pair of sweat
pants. I stiffened when I saw him with his shirt off again. He shot me a knowing look.

What a tease,
I thought.

“It’s really hot in here.” I fanned myself with my hands, even though it was no help with cooling me down.

“I’m comfortable,” Robbie smiled at me.

Jason rolled his eyes. “Can you at least wear a shirt?”

“Jealous?”

“Of
you
? Why would
I
be jealous of
you
?”

Robbie’s eyes met mine for a minute. “Maybe because your girlfriend can’t take her eyes off me.”

I looked toward Jason. He was looking at me, and for a moment I thought I saw jealousy in his eyes. It disappeared as soon as it appeared. “Seriously, just put on a shirt.” Jason got up and turned the air up.

Robbie didn’t move. He stayed in his seat, topless. Jason didn’t
say another word. We watched re
runs of the Vampire Diaries
in silence
.

That night, I lay in bed awake again, but no matter how bad I wanted to go to Robbie’s room, I didn’t.

“Sofie,” Jason whispered.

“Yes,” I answered.

“I do see the way you look at Robbie.”

I lay there uncomfortably. I was unsure of what I should say back. I knew the conversation would come at some point, but I was hoping to delay it as long as possible.

“I just wanted to let you know that I won’t stop fighting for you.” It was dark, but I could tell he was facing me. “I won’t let him have you, not without a fight.”

“Jason…” I was still unsure of what to say to him.

I felt his hand on the side of my face, and before I knew what he was doing, I felt his lip
s
on mine. His kiss wasn’t hungry like Robbie’s, but it was soft and sweet.

Jason is a hopeless romantic.
He takes me on dates… h
e always makes me feel safe, and always puts my needs before his own.
He was the first person that I truly trusted since my father’s death.

He pulled back from
my lips, and he pulled me close
. I held his hand, and the two of us lay there. We didn’t say anything, but no words were needed.

Jason was going to fight for me, and I liked that. I sure wasn’t ready for him to give up, but unfortunately, the kiss made me more confused than ever.

…

When I walked into the kitchen the next morning, the smell of coffee and bacon was in th
e air. I was surprised to see a shirtless
Jason
standing by the kitchen stove cooking.

“Good morning, Sof,” he greeted me. “Breakfast will be ready soon if you want to grab some coffee.”

I couldn’t help but smile as I poured myself a cup of coffee. I added extra cream and sugar.
“You really don’t have to cook me breakfast.”

“I know. But I meant what I said last night. I am going to fight for you.” He sat down a plate of bacon, eggs and toast in front of me.

“Seriously, if you cook for me like this all the time, there will be no competition,” I joked.

As I ate, I watched Jason cooking. His muscles
are
n’t as big as Robbie’s, but he
definitely look
ed
nice.
His beauty was
very breath
taking in every way.

He
winked
at me when he caught me watching him. “I was thinking I could start teaching you the guitar today.”

I was sure he had forgotten his promise to teach me how to play. “I would
love
that, b
ut what about school?”

“There is a teacher’s workshop. We’re out today
,” he reminded me.

So why am I up before noon then?

Jason got out a red electric guitar. It looked very nice and expensive. The head said
Gibson
, and I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I was scared to even touch it.

First he caught me a few basic chords:
G, C, D,
and
E minor
. I played with those for about an hour. At that point, my fingers were red and throbbing from holding the strings down.

Jason pulled my fingers to his mouth and kissed them gently. I heard a grunt from behind me. I turned around to see Robbie standing there staring at us.

“You two are sickening,” he said sarcastically.
He grabbed the guitar that I leaned against the amp and started playing it. I was amazed.

His fingers moved gracefully up and down the neck as he played. I had never heard anybody play so well or fast.

“How long have you played?” I asked Robbie once he put down the guitar.

He shrugged his shoulders. “A while,” was his answer. “I taught Jason how to play.
”