Refuge (42 page)

“Good,” I said hoarsely. “Considering.”

“Considering the gallon of alcohol you threw
up, you mean?” I didn’t need to see his face to know he was
smiling. I scowled at his chest. Good to know one of us was
enjoying this.

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” I pushed away from
him and sat up, unable to meet his eyes. Smoothing my hair back
from my face, I wondered how things would be between us now.
Emotions had run high last night, and we’d said too much, shared
too much, for us to go back to the relationship we’d had a day ago.
I was happy with that, but I had no idea how Nikolas felt in the
light of day.

“Are you going to look at me?”

“I hadn’t planned on it.”

He laughed softly and sat up. “You know you
can’t avoid me forever.”

I focused on the blue sky outside the window.
“What makes you think I can’t?”

“Because you like me . . .
a lot.
”

My face grew hot and I turned to glare at
him, but whatever I was going to say was forgotten when I took in
his tousled hair, warm eyes, and sensual smile. My stomach did a
somersault, and my only thought was that I wanted to go back and
wake up in his arms all over again.

His smile grew as if he knew exactly what I
was thinking. “See, that didn’t take long.”

“Shut up,” I retorted, and he laughed
again.

He put a hand through his dark hair, and my
insides squeezed again. It was so unfair for him to look this good
in the morning when I probably looked like crap, especially after
last night. And I didn’t even want to think about what my breath
must smell like. I could probably take down a vampire just by
breathing on him.

“Are you okay?” he asked with more
seriousness. “With us?” The uncertainty in his eyes made me want to
hug him. God, one night on the couch with him and I was a
sentimental mess.

I nodded. “Are you . . . okay with it?”

“Yes.” His smile was so tender, I suddenly
felt shy.

I got to my feet. “Excuse me; I need to use
your bathroom and about a bottle of mouthwash.”

He smirked. “Help yourself.”

Standing before the bathroom mirror, I
grimaced at my tangled hair and puffy eyes. I splashed cold water
on my face and did my best to comb through my hair with my fingers.
Nikolas’s brush lay on a shelf, but it felt too intimate to use his
personal things.

Yeah, because using him for a bed wasn’t personal at
all.

I was gargling my second mouthful of
mouthwash when I heard a knock on the outer door, followed by male
voices. The last thing I wanted was for someone to know I had spent
the night here with Nikolas. I quietly spat out the mouthwash and
wiped my mouth with a towel, waiting for his visitor to leave.

I did not expect the knock on the bathroom
door. “Sara, do you mind coming out here for a minute?” Nikolas
called through the door.

Oh crap! Nikolas wouldn’t expose me to gossip
so that meant there was only one person who could be out there with
him. “Sure,” I said nervously and smoothed my hair again before I
opened the door.

Tristan stood in the living room, looking
equal parts worried and angry as he took in my disheveled
appearance. At least my wrinkled clothes were evidence that I had
slept in them. I glanced at Nikolas’s tousled hair and bare feet
that suggested he had just woken up. Seeing us together, I could
only imagine what Tristan thought.

“Nothing happened,” I blurted out. “I got
drunk and Nikolas took care of me. That’s it.”

He nodded, but his expression did not change.
“Nikolas already explained it to me, and I told him he should have
brought you back to your own room or to my apartment down the
hall.”

Nikolas smiled, completely unfazed by
Tristan’s scolding. “And I told him that whatever transpires
between the two of us is no one’s business but ours.”

“Sara is not yet eighteen, Nikolas, and her
uncle trusts me to take care of her. That includes her virtue and –
”

“Oh my God, you did not just go there,” I
croaked in mortification. Nikolas coughed, and I shot him a warning
look. If I heard even one snicker out of him, the bond wasn’t the
only thing he had to worry about me breaking.

Tristan raised his hands. “I’m sorry. I don’t
mean to embarrass you, but in your situation, you cannot take sex
lightly. It would – ”

“Gah!” I made a beeline for the door. Both of
them called to me, but it would take a legion of demons to keep me
in that apartment. I slammed the door behind me and ran down the
hallway. Who the hell gets a sex talk from their grandfather, and
in front of the guy she spent the night with? Tristan and I were
going to have a serious talk about boundaries. At least Nate never
tried to step into that territory.

Thinking about Nate reminded me today was
Thanksgiving and he wasn’t going to be here. I could smell the
delicious aromas already coming from the kitchen, but it meant
nothing knowing Nate could not enjoy them with me. How could I
enjoy dinner knowing he was alone and sick?

“Sara, you missed the rest of the party and .
. . Hey, where are your shoes?” Josh said when I passed him on the
stairs.

I stared down at my stockinged feet and
realized that my shoes were still in Nikolas’s living room, where
I’d kicked them off last night. “Don’t ask,” I mumbled and hurried
past him to hide the heat rising in my cheeks.

“Nate, it’s me again. Just calling to see how
you’re feeling. I know you’re probably asleep right now, but give
me a call when you get this. Okay?”

I laid down the phone and stared at it for a
long moment. It was the third time I’d called him today and he
hadn’t picked up once. Yesterday, I’d spoken to him for a few
minutes after lunch and he’d said he was sleeping a lot because of
the drugs prescribed by his doctor. He hadn’t sounded like himself
at all. Worry gnawed at me. Was it normal to sleep this much with
pneumonia? Was he eating enough? I decided to call him in another
two hours, and if he didn’t pick up, I would be on the next plane
east whether he wanted me to or not.

I walked over to the window to stare out at
the thick blanket of snow sparkling in the last rays of the evening
sun. I had never seen snow at Thanksgiving, and I couldn’t help but
admire the breathtaking picture created by the snow-laden forest
with the mountains rising in the distance. It looked like something
out of a fairytale.

Turning from the window, I glanced at my
alarm clock and saw it was after five. Everyone else was most
likely downstairs for the big dinner. I exchanged my T-shirt for a
nice top and brushed out my hair. I wasn’t feeling the holiday
spirit, but Tristan was looking forward to our first Thanksgiving
together and he would be hurt if I didn’t go. I would not do that
to him just because I was down in the dumps about Nate.

It would be my first Thanksgiving with
Nikolas too. Warmth filled me when I thought about waking up in his
arms. He had been so tender and open last night, and he said we
would take our time and figure this out together. What did that
mean? Would he kiss me again? My stomach fluttered wildly and I
touched my lips, remembering our first kiss, his mouth exploring
mine and his heady scent. I definitely hoped he would do that
again.

A knock at my door tore me from my daydream,
and I blushed at how much one kiss could affect me. “One minute,” I
called, trying to compose myself. When I’d seen Jordan at lunch,
I’d made the mistake of telling her I was not in the mood for
Thanksgiving dinner. She’d told me if I didn’t show up, she was
coming to get me. Apparently, she decided not to wait.

“What are you doing here?” I stammered,
staring at the last person I had expected to find at my door.

“I don’t think that is the proper way to
greet the person escorting you to dinner, little one.”

I stepped outside. “Dinner? In the
library?”

Desmund smiled with an ease I had never seen
in him. “Tristan would not forgive me if I kept you all to myself
today. Not to mention a certain warrior who would take umbrage with
me as well.” He reached around me and shut my door. “Tristan told
me how disappointed you were that your uncle could not be here. I
know I am a poor replacement for him, but I hope you’ll allow me to
keep you company in his stead.”

A lump formed in my throat. Desmund had left
his sanctuary and was willing to go among all those people for me?
Was this really the same man I’d met just three short weeks ago? He
appeared strong and self-assured, and he looked a lot healthier
than he had in weeks. But was he ready to face all those people so
soon?

“You are so sweet, but you don’t have to do
that. I know how much you dislike crowds.”

His mouth turned up in an arrogant smirk.
“Correction, my dear, I dislike everyone. Present company excluded,
of course.” He presented his arm to me. “Shall we?”

I took his arm. “Okay, but you have to
promise to try to be nice to my friends.”

He made a harumph sound. “Let’s not push
it.”

Laughter and the rumble of voices reached us
as we neared the first floor. Desmund paused for a moment at the
bottom of the stairs and I worried again that this was too much for
him to take on all at once.

“You know, I wouldn’t mind having dinner
upstairs. I’m not that good with crowds.”

He patted my arm. “I’ve dined with kings and
czars. A few warriors are nothing. Just follow my lead.”

When we entered the dining hall no one seemed
to notice us, and I gave a little sigh of relief. It did not last
long. Olivia saw us first, and I watched her eyes widen as she
forgot what she was saying to Mark. He turned around to see what
had distracted her, and his mouth fell open. One by one, people
stopped talking and heads turned our way until silence fell over
most of the room.

Desmund led me across the floor, and people
parted like the Red Sea to let us pass. To avoid their questioning
stares, I looked at the tables that were set with nice linens and
china for the holiday with candles flickering in pretty
centerpieces. At home, Nate and I did the turkey and trimmings, but
we didn’t make a big deal of decorating or pulling out the good
china. This was a lot more festive than any holiday dinner I’d been
to.

We stopped at a table at the end of the room.
Ignoring our audience, Desmund pulled out a chair for me facing the
room. I sat, and he took the one next to me then leaned in close
and said, “You see; nothing to it.”

Before I could answer, Tristan joined us.
“Desmund, I’m glad you decided to dine with us this evening.”

“I thought a change of scenery was overdue,
my friend.” Desmund perused the occupants of the room and I noticed
his gaze lingered appreciatively on Terrence. I couldn’t blame him;
Terrence was gorgeous. I debated whether or not to tell him
Terrence was straight, but then I thought, who was I to ruin his
fun?

Tristan took the seat on my right. “I’m happy
you joined us,” he said in a lowered voice. “I know it’s not the
same for you without Nate.”

“No, but I still have family here with
me.”

He smiled, and then his eyes slid to Desmund.
“Did you . . . ?”

I gave the smallest shake of my head. “His
idea,” I mouthed.

“Well, this should make for a fun evening.”
Chris pulled out the chair across from Tristan and winked at me
like I should be in on some private joke. “I see you’re still
kicking, Desmund.”

Desmund inclined his head. “Christian, it is
good to see you again.”

Chris looked from Desmund to me, and I
ignored the question burning in his eyes. Like everyone else here,
he wanted to know what I was doing with Desmund. I had no intention
of satisfying their curiosity at the moment.

The noise level in the room began to rise
again as people got over their shock and started to talk quietly
among themselves. Someone came by and filled our water glasses, and
I sipped my water as Desmund and Tristan talked about people they
knew from a long time ago. A waving arm caught my eye and I spotted
Jordan, who was giving me the “you have some explaining to do” look
from the other side of the room. I smiled and shrugged, and she
shot me the “don’t even think you are getting out of this”
look.

One person was noticeably absent. I was
wondering if Nikolas was going to join us when he walked into the
room. My heart did a little skip when his eyes found mine and he
started toward us. Then his gaze shifted to my left and surprise
registered on his face when he saw my dinner companion. It was
quickly followed by a scowl, and it was obvious he was not happy to
see Desmund beside me. I hoped he was not going to make a big deal
of it. Bond or no bond, I was still going to pick my own friends
whether he liked them or not.

“Hey,” I said breathlessly when he sat across
from me. I gave him a timid smile, not sure how to act around him
now.

“Hey,” he replied, his eyes noticeably
softer. He greeted Tristan and Chris then looked at Desmund. “I’m
surprised to see you here.”

Desmund chuckled. “As am I, but I am feeling
quite like my old self again of late. It’s miraculous really.”

“Is that so?” Nikolas gave me a suspicious
glance. “I wonder what could have caused it.” The look in his eyes
promised we would talk later.

“If I could credit it to anything, it would
be my charming little friend here.” Desmund laid a hand over mine
on the table, and Nikolas’s eyes narrowed. I could tell by
Desmund’s tone that he was enjoying himself immensely, and I
groaned silently. “I cannot tell you how much I have enjoyed our
evenings together.”

Nikolas eyes glinted dangerously, and I
wanted to kick Desmund for his devilry. Surely Nikolas knew Desmund
was gay and only messing with him, right? I gave Chris a helpless
look and found him trying to suppress a grin. Now I knew what he’d
meant when he said this was going to be fun. At this rate, we
weren’t going to make it to the first course.