Refugee Road (Freedom Fighters Series Book 1) (16 page)

Alec avoided my attempt to look in his eyes. He was not surprised. “I see you already know that.”

“Yes,” he swallowed loudly, “I had hoped to keep that from you, at least until I had a concrete plan in place.”

“Why?” I asked, hurt. Was he keeping secrets so quickly after his declaration to always tell me the truth?

“Because…he’s here.”

I jumped up in shock. “What!?”

“Calm down, please. Sit back down,” he told me with some chagrin, and stretched out his hand.

I took it and sat, running my fingers over his in agitation. “Why is he here?”

“He’s heading up a new task force. The objective is to infiltrate the refugees, find their hidden bases, and crush them, completely.”

“Oh God,” I whispered, suddenly afraid.

“General Haden is not a man to trifle with. He’s smart, cunning, and ruthless. I don’t want you anywhere near him. I mean it.” There was a hard edge to his voice, brooking no refusal.

“I agree, I won’t be.”

He squeezed my fingers, a frown on his face. There was more to say. Judging from his expression, he was not happy to share it with me.

“We have Intelligence. We know where one of the bases are located. They want us to issue a surprise attack, in two days. It will be at night,” he informed me.

I nodded. “We were expecting a retaliation like this, right? I mean, you aren’t surprised.”

“No, I am not surprised. I knew it was coming. It’s the location Lizzie.” He pulled me closer as the fear I felt a moment ago increased. “It’s the mountainside base…where Darren’s group is hiding,” he mumbled, watching my face. He absolutely hated telling me. I heard it in his tone. Was he worried about my reaction? My loyalty?

I gasped, shaking my head vehemently. “Oh no, what will they do? There won’t be any notice. They’ll all be killed. They have to be warned. Alec!?”

He put his arm around me, trying to calm me down.

“Lizzie, it won’t help. It’s too late. Even if I wanted to, there is no way for me to warn them ahead of time. We just have to hope that they are smart enough to prepare and they get out before too many casualties happen. I’m sorry my love.”

I knew he was. I believed him. It wasn’t his fault.

“I don’t know what to say or do. I feel helpless. What if they can’t escape the compound in time? Oh God Alec, all of those people…” I choked up, not able to finish.

“I know. They have to have a plan. It’s been getting hot around there for a while. I doubt this is unexpected. I’m sure things will work out. Trust me darling.”

“Oh Alec, I am still worried. Please try to find out what you can. I need to know.”

“I’ll do what I can,” he promised.

I thought that was the worst. I was wrong. He stood, his hands shoved into his pockets, pacing the room. Sudden fatigue showed on his face and his shoulders drooped slightly, like a man with a heavy burden to carry. I watched him patiently.

“There’s more. I have to leave you.”

He spoke in a whisper, his voice breaking slightly. I shook my head, concerned.

“They are sending us out tomorrow and I will be gone for a week.” A bitter edge to his voice left me baffled. “You are going to be alone and I’m sorry for that. I’m sure the other wives will check on you. Try to appear friendly and not worry too much.”

A lone tear slid down my cheek. A whole week?

“I’m going to miss you terribly,” he admitted, his voice wavering just a little.

“I’ll miss you more.” I jumped up and hugged his waist, feeling forlorn.

He lifted a finger to wipe away the tear. I heard his sigh. Although he said nothing, the sigh spoke volumes.

I turned to look in his eyes. “Are you worried about me? I’ll be all right. I may get bored but I am in no danger. This is a safe place for us. I’m going to miss you. We haven’t been apart since we got married. I’ll be lonely without you here…but I’ll be fine.”

“Not as lonely as I will be, I guarantee it.”

Alec kissed me, a desperate fearful kiss, and picked me up, taking the stairs quickly into our room. He made love to me for most of the night, never releasing me from his arms. I knew he was worried. I knew he hated to leave me all alone. It was his way of calming the two of us, occupying our minds with the need of our bodies, instead of giving in to the uncertainty of the days ahead.

I helped him pack in the early morning and made him a big breakfast since we skipped dinner. He ate everything, his hand holding mine, not wanting to let go. His eyes had the look of a misty gray morning, cloudy and moody, like the violent and turbulent foaming froth of a storm at sea. He didn’t want to leave me. And I didn’t want to let him.

He kissed me for several minutes, finally leaving with his supplies strapped on his back. I hugged him tightly, whispering in his ear how much I loved him.

“May God keep you safe and return you to me unharmed. Be careful. I love you Alec.” I told him, my throat tight with unshed tears.

He held me, hugging me back. “Please be safe. I’ll be careful. I have a wife to return home to. I love you with all my heart Lizzie.”

I watched him walk away and join the other officers, long rows of wives waving our goodbyes in the dawning light. I hated it. I hated waving to him like all of this was all right. I hated pretending that I didn’t care he was out fighting refugees for the cause. I wanted to be out there fighting too. It sucked. Bad.

That first day and night was the longest in my entire life, perhaps with the exception of the night my sister died. I was bored. I was alone. The house was large and dark, making me feel edgy. I paced the hall constantly in the middle of the night, unable to sleep without Alec next to my side.

It was agony, pure hell, and I was terribly miserable. My bottom lip was chewed and swollen from my agitation. I was restless and edgy. And worse than that, I think I was coming down with something since my stomach would not stop churning.

Time became my enemy. It crawled at an agonizing pace. I had to force myself to stop looking at the time. In a fit of anger I turned all of the clocks around to face the wall so I wouldn’t keep glancing at them. It depressed me.

My thoughts lingered on places and people better left buried deep inside. Again and again I thought of my family. My mother and sister before the war. My father before he died. Mal and his fate. The uncertainty of the refuges. Anguish tore at my heart. The ache of it stole any happiness or joy. I cried until I could no longer produce tears. I was a walking zombie.

The next two days were the same. On the third day, I decided to take a walk. I couldn’t stand another minute in that house alone. I would go insane. Literally. I passed the library and a coffee shop and headed toward a little strip mall. These used to be everywhere before the war started. Now they were hard to find. Too many had been bombed and obliterated.

Money was scarce for rebuilding. Only what survived was maintained. The war gobbled up money and any available funds until there was nothing left. Even then, the militia spread its propaganda, pushing war bonds, shoving it down the throats of the people. One hand out, always begging, always asking for more.

This strip mall had a packaging and shipping store, a bakery, a clothing consignment shop, a small grocery, and a military surplus store. I walked into the bakery first, beckoned by the smell of freshly baked bread and muffins. I couldn’t resist purchasing a loaf of bread and some chocolate chip cookies. In the grocery I replenished our refrigerator on Alec’s credit. I needed to restock the kitchen.

After I left the store, I went into the consignment shop. It was full of clothing, mostly adult sizes. The ladies section was very large and full of dresses. I looked through the rack, almost deciding there was nothing I liked, until I found a dress that made me gasp. It was almost identical to the one I had worn the night I met Alec, in ivory and mauve pink. It was a fair price. I decided to try it on and see if it fit.

In the dressing room, I was pleasantly surprised to find it fit very well, only a slightly bit big. I thought it looked nice on me and decided to buy it. Taking it to the front, I paused when I saw a baby bassinette for sale. I wasn’t going to buy it until I saw the condition. It was made of oak and excellently carved, hardly used.  I loved it instantly. I decided to purchase them both and paid the cashier.

It was tricky carrying the bassinette home. It was awkward and a little heavy. I put the baked goods and groceries and my dress inside, carefully juggling it home. I let myself inside the house, setting down the bassinette. I cleaned it and rubbed oil on the wood. It was beautiful. I brought it upstairs and into our room, putting it in the corner by our bed.

The next few days were unbearable. It was hot outside and the townhouse was a little uncomfortable. I hated being alone. I felt stifled and started feeling uneasy. I walked often, to clear my head and get fresh air. I felt off, dizzy and lightheaded sometimes, and restless. Even with all of the windows open I felt overly heated and agitated. Maybe I was coming down with a cold.

Exactly one week after Alec left, I put on my new dress. I curled my hair, rolling the waves and sweeping them back, and added flowers. I wanted to look irresistible. I had missed him terribly this last week. I paced the house all morning, hoping for his return. At lunch, I barely ate, too anxious for his arrival to have an appetite. I was doing the dishes, humming to myself, when I heard the front door open.

“Lizzie!? Lizzie, come here!” Alec yelled.

I ran from the kitchen, a huge smile on my face. He grinned when he saw me, holding his arms open wide. I ran into them as he twirled me around, looking into my eyes.

“Lizzie, you look beautiful. Where did you find that dress? It looks just like the one you wore the night we met,” he asked, pleased and surprised.

“I know. That’s exactly what I thought when I saw it. I had to have it, thinking you would like it. What do you think?” I asked, swirling around in front of him.

He pulled me close. “It’s perfect. I missed you, so very much. How have you been? You look tired my darling.”

I laughed as all of his words tumbled out in a rush.

“I couldn’t sleep without you here. It’s been a long week.”

“I know what you mean,” he responded, squeezing me tight.

“How did things go? I’ve been anxious, trying not to worry.”

“The bombing was a success. The militia destroyed the base but the place was abandoned before we arrived. The refugees must have been warned. No casualties. I was relieved when they told us.”

Relief washed through me too. “What else happened?”

“We had to interrogate some prisoners and try to find other refugee camps. I…really don’t want to talk about it.” He looked uncomfortable.

“All right,” I responded, watching his face.

I wondered what happened. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it right now and I was fine with that. Some aspects of his position I was better off not knowing.

“Lizzie,” he paused and looked at me, “are you sure you feel all right?”

I looked at him questioningly. “Yes, I think so. I’ve just been tired and restless…and a little dizzy. Maybe I am coming down with a cold.”

He nodded. “Let’s have you rest. I’m tired anyway. I want to hold you. My arms have been so empty lately.”

He picked me up, taking the stairs quickly, and laying me down on the bed. His eyes landed on the baby bassinette and he raised an eyebrow at me in wonder.

“I saw it at the consignment shop and I couldn’t resist. I know we don’t need it yet but it was so beautiful I had to have it. Do you mind?”

“Oh no, my love, I was just curious. You can buy whatever you like. I love the dress. It makes me think of that night, of our attraction, and dancing in the moonlight. Do you remember?” He asked, his voice wistful.

“Yes, I looked in your eyes and I knew I was in love. I told Angela you were the most handsome boy I had ever met. She knew I was head over heels for you. She laughed and teased me about it you know,” I admitted.

“Boy? I guess I was three years ago.” He laughed lightly. “What do you think now?”

His eyes were smoky again, filling with desire, almost instantly.

“You are definitely a man now. What do you think? Have I changed?” I teased him.

“You are still as beautiful but you have…filled out and become curvy, it is very sexy. I can’t keep my hands away…”

His lips were moving down my throat, over my shoulder, and across my right breast. My breathing accelerated, desire coursing through my veins, matching the heat in his gaze. He smiled knowingly.

“I love you Alec…”

He helped me out of my dress, his fingers lingering on my bare skin. Everywhere his fingers went his lips followed. My neck. My ear. Down to my breasts. Across my stomach where he lingered, pushing my thighs open so he could rest between them.

I removed his shirt and kissed along his collarbone, across the broad expanse of muscle, trailing with deliberate care, the wet flick of my tongue brushing the tiny dark hairs on his chest. A sigh escaped my lips. I loved the feel of him. The hard strength beneath my touch. His fingers rested against my lower back, pulling me closer. He moaned.