Renegade (34 page)

Gavin pulls out his plasma pistol and shoots both men. They disappear in a burst of flames. Then Gavin sweeps me up and over his shoulder. He runs with me down the corridor, while I fight to get down.

Anger swiftly flows into me as another horde of Mother’s mistakes file into the hallway, instantly giving chase.

Trying to channel the anger into something other than shooting Gavin in the head, I pull my pistol out and start shooting behind him. One by one, the experiments fall, but for every hit there’s a dozen more chasing after us.

Gavin jumps nimbly over the piles of dead bodies, somehow making sure to avoid stepping on anyone, or slipping on the slick floors.

I don’t know where all this is coming from, but I’m not complaining, since he’s saving my life.

Gavin flies into the stairwell and up the flights of stairs. By the time we reach the top, he’s winded and wheezing, and I can tell his legs are weak and shaking, but he doesn’t stop to catch his breath. He continues down the corridors the way we came until we’re back in the submarines’ bay.

All in all, we’ve only been gone maybe thirty minutes. How did he know how to work the power generator? What else hasn’t he told me?

I shake my head furiously. It’s only the Conditioning. He saved me.

There’s shouting and running feet from the corridor and I know it won’t be long before those things find us.

Gavin sets me down on my feet, then goes to the control panel. “Evie, I need your help. We need to lock ourselves into the room until we can get in the subs. Do you remember how?”

I try, but I can’t. “No. I’m sorry.”

The shouts come closer and I panic. We’ll be trapped if I don’t remember how to work the controls.

My heart careens around in my chest and I can’t catch my breath as the entire room spins.

I stare at Gavin in horror. He’s going to die if I don’t do something. I rip off the bandage, shove my thumb into the wound in my shoulder and twist, hoping the pain will help clear my head. Then, suddenly, I hear that click again. The click of my Enforcer training. And I
do
remember. I remember
everything
Mother taught me. I walk to the control panel and lay my palm flat on the hand plate, then flip the switch for the doors to lock.

Gavin exhales in relief. “Can you work the subs? We need to get the hell out of here.” His eyes are wild with fear, but all I see is a dirty, manipulative, and dangerous Surface Dweller.
One who killed your best friend and her boyfriend,
a voice says in my head.

No, that’s not right. I did it. Nick killed Macie and
I
killed Nick.

No. He did. You remember. He killed them—he only made sure you thought he did. And he let that little girl die. He could have saved her, but he didn’t.

“No,” I whisper, pressing a hand to the sharp pain forming above my right eye.

Yes. He’s the one who let that poor little girl die in the power control room. She couldn’t have been any older than seven. A promising young Enforcer snuffed out by a vile Surface Dweller. He’ll kill you next. He’s been lying to you this whole time. He was sent to destroy Elysium. That’s how he knew how to work the generator. He’s just manipulating you.

“Yes, of course,” I say out loud. “I remember now.” The pain disappears as I listen to the voice.

“Evie? We have to go,” Gavin says, turning to face me.

I slowly raise my plasma pistol and aim it at his heart. “No. We don’t need to go anywhere,” I say. “The only thing that needs to be done is my duty.”

His eyes widen and I see myself in them. I see the hate I feel for him as I tighten my finger on the trigger.

C
HAPTER
T
WENTY-EIGHT

Now I lay me down to sleep, Elysium, my heart to keep. If I should stray from Mother’s eyes, I pray my mind erase its lies.

—CHILDREN’S BEDTIME PRAYER

The gun clicks and I realize the plasma cartridge is empty again. I quickly pull it out and slam in another.

“Evie,” Gavin says, his voice calm. His eyes and face are blank. “Don’t do this.”

“Why not?” I spit out. “You caused all this. Just like your people ruined the Surface. You’re the ones who forced us down here, now you’re trying to destroy us again. You’ve brought your hate and misery with you and it’s contagious.”

His eyes narrow and he takes a step toward me. I lift the gun higher.

“No, Evie, I didn’t come here to destroy you. The only one doing this is your mother. Remember? She Conditioned you. She’s controlled you your whole life. Not me.”

I pause. Something rings true about that. But my head keeps telling me it’s a lie. “You’re just saying that so I’ll help you.
Surface Dwellers are manipulative and dangerous.
”

He takes an imploring step forward. I pull the hammer back on the pistol. “Don’t. Move.”

He stops immediately, but his hands are still out. “You know I’m not just saying it. You saw it with your own eyes. Remember, Evie. Remember what happened to Macie.”

I frown at him. “Who’s Macie?”

His eyebrows wing up. “She’s your best friend, remember?”

I shake my head rapidly as contradictory memories collide in my head. “No. I don’t have any friends. I’m an Enforcer. All I need are my sisters.” But a tear trickles down my cheek as a memory forces its way to the surface. She took me into her quarters one night after my failure. She wasn’t supposed to, but I needed a friend more than anything.

Another memory, of us going to Festival together last year. Her telling me all about the fun things she’d done with Nick and how she thought she was falling in love and it was all thanks to me.

Of her lying on the floor, surrounded by her own blood, with her boyfriend meters away, eyes glassed over with death.

“No,” I whisper.

It’s a lie, Evie. All a lie. He’s tricking you
. Surface Dwellers are manipulative and dangerous.
He deserves to die for what he did to your city. Your people. Macie
,
Mother’s voice screams in my head.

Macie’s the lie. She didn’t exist. She wasn’t real
,
I think.

No, she’s real, but he killed her. Not you. Not Nick. It was him the whole time. He’s just made you think it was you.

He did?

Yes.
He’s just a Surface Dweller; he deserves to die
.

“Yes,” I repeat after the voice in my head. “You’re just a Surface Dweller and you deserve to die.”

I put pressure on the trigger, pulling it toward me with my fingertip, just as I was taught.

Do it now, Evelyn! Now, before he tricks you again. Before he can get it away from you
. Surface Dwellers are manipulative and dangerous.
Do it
now
!

I pull the trigger, but my hand jerks down at the last second, as if someone is pushing down on my arms, sending the plasma ball into the floor. It melts a small divot into the floor by my foot, startling me.

I curse and line up my next shot, but before I can wrap my finger around the trigger again, Gavin is wrapping his hands around mine, and the gun. “Don’t listen to her, Evie. She’s lying. Not me. Not you.”

I fight to pull away from him, but it’s no use. Even my own body is fighting me, and I feel so weak. Something wet trickles down my arm. The wound on my shoulder is bleeding again. A lot this time.

Dizzy, I sway. Gavin tries to catch me, but I push away. “Don’t touch me,” I slur.

His eyes are worried, but apparently he doesn’t think I’m a threat anymore. “I can’t help it, Evie.”

I struggle to remain standing. I’ll kill him before I go down. Again, I raise the gun, aiming for his head. I won’t miss this time. I won’t fail again.

He closes his eyes and steps forward, pressing the gun to his own head.

“What are you doing?” I ask. Panic is tearing through me and I don’t know why. I should be grateful he’s doing my job for me.

“Making it easier for you. With that arm, you wouldn’t be able to hit the broad side of a barn.”

“Are you crazy?”

He nods and there’s a small ghost of a smile. “Yeah. I think maybe I am. I’ve fallen in love with a girl who’s programmed to kill me. Not a very sane thing to do, is it?”

My jaw drops. “What? What did you say?”

He looks straight into my eyes. “I love you, Evie.”

He’s lying. He doesn’t love me
. Surface Dwellers are manipulative.
He’s just using me
,
I think, as Mother’s voice continues her rant inside my head.

I fumble back the hammer with shaking hands.
I have to kill him. That’s my job. To protect the city from filthy, dirty Surface Dwellers. Surface Dwellers are manipulative and dangerous. Nothing more than heathens who’d just as soon kill you as look at you. He’s the worst of them all. Why am I protecting him? He means nothing to me.

The words come to me in a voice that’s so different from mine, I suddenly know they’re programmed responses.

But the answers to those questions are so simple I can hardly argue with them.

He isn’t a manipulative and dangerous Surface Dweller. He’s smart. And kind. And nothing like what Mother said a Surface Dweller is. He means much more than nothing to me. And that’s why I’m helping him escape. Because he means everything to me. Because I love him. And he loves me. And I’ve done everything I can to protect him.

My fingers fall from the pistol, which clatters to the ground as pain rips through my head. It feels like hundreds of bees stinging my brain. I gasp and scrunch my eyes closed, grasping my head as I fall to my knees.

The bees fill my head with a buzzing that blocks all other sounds, then it slowly dies down and Gavin’s voice turns from a soft hum to clear sentences as he holds me tightly to his chest.

I push myself up to a sitting position and he slowly pulls away, but stays within reach, his eyes filled with concern as he watches me.

Tears pour from my eyes as I collapse into his arms. “I love you, too,” I choke out as the final twinge of pain fades away like it was never there in the first place.

I touch him everywhere, as if to reassure myself he’s really there before pressing my lips to his. “You’re insane. I could have shot you from shock alone.” I press kisses all over his face.

His mouth finds mine. “It was worth it,” he mumbles against my lips.

Suddenly a bang sounds behind us and we turn to see the door to the rest of the Sector is being hit by something. Another bang and we see it bend inward.

“They’re coming,” I whisper.

“Quick.” Gavin turns back toward the console. “I need you to work the sub controls. How do we get the door open?”

I stare at the console, filled with blinking lights and levers, knobs, and buttons. I close my eyes and try to recall my training, but something’s wrong. The Enforcer memories that were so clear just seconds ago are fading.

Hand plate. Hand plate. Hand plate
,
my mind screams at me over and over, but I don’t know what that means. Hand plate?

I shake my head. “I-I don’t know.” I slam my hand down on the console. Lost. Defeated. We’re going to die here, because I can’t remember. Mother’s last trick has succeeded.

Mother’s voice is no longer in my head, but the victory has come at a terrible cost. My memories.

Bang!
I turn to see fingers work their way through the gap that’s been opened between the two doors. They grab the sides of the doors and slowly start to force them open the rest of the way.

“Hurry, you idiots, they’re going to escape,” Mother’s voice shouts, and I shudder.

She’s here. Directly on the other side of the door. And those must be her Elite Enforcers. They’d be the only ones strong enough to force those doors open. From the sounds, she probably brought what’s left of them.

With two on the door, how many is that? Five? Six? Dozens?

I can only stare in horror as those fingers yank the doors wider, allowing slim, muscled arms to slip through the opening. They manage to shove the doors enough that through the crack I see Mother standing in the middle of at least half a dozen Enforcers.

Despite the fear piercing through me, part of my mind is already cataloguing their exact positions, calculating the angle of attack, the distance between us, which weapons they’ll use in this small area.

When Mothers sees me, she smiles, replacing the scowl. “Come now, Evelyn, you’ve had your fun, but playtime is over. You don’t want to go to the Surface.” She steps forward, and lifts her arm, extending her hand into the gap for me to take. “There’s no need to fear me, Evelyn. The Surface Dweller has manipulated you into thinking I’m the monster, when it is he and his kind. I saved you, Evelyn. Made you my own. Because I love you. Just take my hand and I’ll help you. You can trust me.”

I can trust her? I tilt my head to the side.
Of course I can trust her. Mother loves me. She has had nothing but my well-being in mind. It is my privilege to follow her orders
.

I step toward her and lift my arm to take her hand.

Suddenly I’m being picked up and spun around. I scream and fight and kick, trying to do anything to escape from the real monster.

“Shh, it’s just me,” Gavin says in my ear. He hugs me tightly and kisses the side of my head, and the fog that started when Mother started talking lifts and I remember exactly why I can’t trust her.

“Gavin,” I whisper.

“Evelyn, don’t listen to him.”

My head throbs as a series of those deep clicks go off in my mind. My visions strobes as my Conditioning turns on and off. I grit my teeth against the pain, and the vertigo.

Suddenly, Gavin lets out a whoop and hauls me toward the submarine.