Resenting the Hero (26 page)

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Authors: Moira J. Moore

BOOK: Resenting the Hero
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“This is outrageous!” was Aiden's quaint expostulation. “Wasn't there anything you could do? Couldn't you complain?”
“Who could I complain to?” she demanded. She sounded just a little melodramatic to my ears, but under the circumstances it was forgivable. “There are no laws that say Sources must treat their Shields well, no authorities who deal with this sort of thing. I wouldn't know where to go with a complaint. And what kind of complaint could I make? That I didn't like the way Lang talked to me, the way he touched me? No one's going to think that's anything serious. They'll think I'm an oversensitive prude and dismiss me.”
Unfortunately, she was right. As far as I knew, there was no way to regulate relationships between partners. We were adults, and we were expected to take care of ourselves. That made things easier for the Triple S administration but ignored the fact that Sources had greater influence with the regulars than did Shields and that some personalities were stronger than others.
And she was right about the nature of her complaints, too. I thought most people could understand the damage constant cutting remarks could do over a lifetime, and the stress that could be created by such subtle physical abuse, but on paper it wouldn't look like much. Besides, what could anyone really do about it? Separating the partners would only render the Pair useless, which would be a counterproductive measure in the eyes of the Triple S council.
“That wasn't what landed me in Middle Reach, though,” said Lynch. “As time passed, Lang's drinking grew increasingly worse. And he began slipping in his channeling. Because of the drink. Like he wouldn't notice the event until it had done some damage, because he was blind drunk. Or he wouldn't be able to channel all of the forces.” She wrinkled her nose. “Part of that was my fault,” she admitted. “It's hard to Shield someone when they're drunk. The alcohol does something to the way their mind works.”
I'd never thought of that before, but it made sense. However, I felt part of Lynch's problem was that she wasn't too eager to be protecting her partner under any circumstances. That said a lot for the benefits of partners maintaining a certain emotional distance.
Oh lord. Lang and Lynch. I should have recognized those names immediately. But I'd never expected to meet them. They were posted in a place I, I had been arrogant enough to believe, would never be. I didn't know where to look.
“The Triple S became interested then, asking why Lang was getting so careless. As if they really had no idea. Everyone knew he had a problem with drink. But all he had to do was tell them it was all my fault, and because I wasn't the best of my year they believed him.” She surprised me by giving me a hard, defiant look. “I was not the star of my class,” she told me. “I admit that. But I worked hard and did my best, and my best was good.”
I nodded. I believed her.
She lost her look of pride then and shifted with obvious discomfort. “You've heard of Over There.”
Here it came. Everyone had heard of Over There. Once a small but prosperous town, a sort of vacation resort for the merchant class, it had been annihilated by a cyclone when the visiting Pair had been too inebriated to function. “I know about Over There,” I said. “And I know who you are.”
“I'll bet you do,” she said angrily. “Aye, I was there. And now I'm in Middle Reach. Indefinitely.”
And her career was over. Once someone was sent to Middle Reach or any of the other punishment sites, no one wanted them. In theory, a Pair could be sent to another site after a suitable period in Middle Reach, but the site they were sent to would be warned of their past. They would be sent to sites that were the least likely to suffer calamities, and wherever they were sent, the regulars wouldn't be thrilled. The Pair wouldn't be treated with any respect.
“I always knew I was only a moderate talent,” Lynch was saying. “I'd never envisioned a glorious future for myself, just a mediocre Source and mediocre assignments. But I was all right with that. We can't all be legends. All the same, I've worked hard and I've been a good person. I don't deserve what I've gotten.”
“Obviously not,” Aiden agreed. “And the worst thing is that there is nothing you can do about it.” He glanced at me, then.
See?
the look seemed to say. “The Triple S did nothing to protect you from this man,” he said to Lynch. “It wouldn't help you with him when he was endangering you and all the regulars entrusted to your care. And now they've sent you off into exile with him as though you were some kind of criminal. It's irresponsible and cruel. I tell you, the Triple S shouldn't have this kind of control over you.” He fixed me with another glare. “I've said this before.”
Ad nauseam.
“Armies and guilds have the same kind of control over their people.” But the protest sounded lame even to my ears, for I could see their point. Lynch had been badly used. The Triple S should have done something. I had always known the Triple S had a few problems. I just hadn't realized they were this bad.
“The difference there, my dear,” said Aiden, “is that people choose to join the army or guilds. No one chooses to join the Triple S. You're taken from your families without any right to refuse, and the Triple S controls you for the rest of your lives. Because unlike members of the army or the guilds, members of the Triple S can't resign.”
It was true. It had always been so, and having met a real victim of Triple S policy for the first time, I realized injustice could result. But there was nothing to be done.
I hated feeling helpless.
“They did the same thing to my brother,” Aiden said to Lynch, and I thought I was finally beginning to understand the resentment he felt for the Triple S. “He was Paired to an unworthy man, and because of that man he was sent to Middle Reach. And it always seems to be the Sources, doesn't it, who commit the crimes and get both partners sent to Middle Reach?”
“Your brother is Ryan Kelly?” Lynch asked with a smile. “I should have recognized you. He speaks of you often. It's a very great pleasure to finally meet you.”
And, strangely enough, they started rattling off stories about Ryan and seemed to forget the somber mood they had shared just moments before.
I couldn't join them. I was too busy thinking about how fortunate I had been, landing myself a Source who was, by all accounts, rather superior, only to despise him for it. I had ignored those who were less fortunate, feeling it was up to them to deal with whatever problems came their way. If they couldn't, there was something wrong with them. And if the Triple S was remote and indifferent, it was nothing to me, because I had done nothing to earn its displeasure.
Guilt was a waste of emotion.
Shut up.
I was an ungrateful wretch. I would do better. And there had to be something I could do for people like Lynch and, from the sounds of it, Ryan. I was an excellent Shield from a prominent merchant family. My Source was the Darling of the Triple S and a future duke. Surely the combination would give me some kind of voice, enough to make the council at least think about changing the way it dealt with erring Sources.
I didn't think I could change the whole system. I didn't even want to. But I had always thought it was wrong to punish both partners for the crimes of one. There had to be some alternative.
Later. Time enough to save the world after I'd found Karish. And figured out how I was going to deal with his being a duke. And, oh aye, what was going on with those strange Rushes.
The list just kept getting longer and longer.
Chapter Nineteen
Finally, we made it to Middle Reach. I was beginning to fear we'd never get there.
I'd never really studied Middle Reach, had never really thought about what it would be like to go there. Part of me had been expecting some kind of mud pit, with a few knocked-together houses and rough, downtrodden peasants. Another part realized this was ridiculous. Great things had once been expected of Middle Reach, and quite a few people lived there, so it had to be more than a swampy outpost.
Well, the mud was there, but there were also a lot of wooden sidewalks. There were enough buildings to satisfy the demands of a small town, and they were well built and in good repair. But they were ugly. I couldn't say why, exactly. There was nothing outlandish about the colors, and the architecture seemed normal enough. But there was no beauty about the place, either, and decades of nearly constant rain had given everything the feeling of being brown, even on a bright day.
One building, much larger than the rest but with the same air of ugliness, stood some distance from the town. “What is that?” I asked Lynch, pointing.
“Used to be the civic center. For town meetings.”
Ah, a remnant from grander days. Back when Middle Reach had been on its way to becoming the mecca High Scape was. Now, the entire population could probably fit in that one building with plenty of room to spare, and I suspected the citizens weren't the most civic-minded group of people one could hope to meet. I wouldn't be. “What's it used for?”
Lynch shrugged. “Youngsters avoiding the disapproving looks of their elders, I imagine. It fell into disuse ages ago. It's probably a death trap.”
Hm. Depressing.
As we moved through the streets I started feeling a little uncomfortable. It seemed to me that everyone was aware of our presence. Not actually watching us—no one stopped and stared—but giving us as much attention as peripheral senses allowed. I supposed that wasn't so strange, as Lynch was of the notorious Lynch and Lang, and possibly people remembered Aiden from his earlier visits, but I didn't like it. I didn't want anyone noticing me yet.
“How's your leg?” I asked Aiden, mostly to distract myself. He answered with a tight nod. I took that to mean there was some pain but it was bearable.
As in High Scape, all the Pairs in Middle Reach shared a residence. As we neared it, I expected to see some evidence of tension in Lynch, as she was no doubt dreading her reunion with her crazy Source, but she was calm. More than calm, she was cheerful.
Strong woman,
I thought.
The residence was not so large as the one in High Scape, but the building was in slightly better repair than its neighbors and had the air of being well tended. There were flowers in the front yard, the first evidence of an attempt of beauty that I had seen in Middle Reach. I had never before paid attention to things like flowers, but their otherwise total lack made me appreciate this small sample all the more.
I decided I liked flowers.
Ryan had been waiting for us. He came striding out of the residence before we reached the front door. He didn't look too happy to see us, though, unless he usually expressed pleasure with a scowl. He gripped Aiden by his shoulders. “I thought you said you were better,” he said accusingly.
Ah. He was disturbed by his brother's limp. I couldn't blame him for that. It disturbed me, too.
“I am,” Aiden answered mildly. “I can walk.”
I didn't think Ryan was satisfied with that, but he didn't press. I wondered if he knew I was the one who'd crippled his brother.
They didn't look anything alike. Ryan lacked his younger brother's height and was of a broader build. Though hair and eyes were the same colors, they were of different shades. There was a grace to Aiden's movements that was absent from Ryan. To look at them, I would have never thought them siblings.
And then we were being introduced. “Dunleavy Mallorough, this is my brother, Ryan Kelly.”
I hesitated in the act of greeting him. How did I address him? Shields were called by their family name as a matter of professional courtesy, until invited to do otherwise. Regulars often found it rude, and the siblings of a friend deserved a more intimate title. But what did one call the Shield brother of a regular friend?
He was perceptive for a man. His eyes twinkled in a smile, and he held out his hand. “Dunleavy.”
If he could, I could. “Ryan.” I shook his hand. “Very good to meet you.” Sorry I haven't been taking better care of your brother.
He gave my hand a small tug before releasing me. “Come,” he said, taking my bag from me before I could politely object. If anyone needed assistance, I thought, it was Aiden. “We'll get you settled, and then we'll see about tackling your problem.”
So he already knew. I didn't know how I felt about that. I might have liked the option of discretion.
Like the outside, the inside of the residence was not so grand as that in High Scape. The rooms of the lower floor were smaller, the wood of the structure more worn. All the furnishings were new, though, and it looked well-kept and cozy.
Not what I would have expected from a collection of Pairs known for being incompetent or dilatory.
“We have plenty of free rooms,” Ryan said, leading us up the stairs. “I guess the Triple S anticipates a lot of us will end up here,” he added in a bitter tone. “I hope you find it comfortable.”
My box of a room at the academy was still a very recent memory. I had low expectations. And while the room Ryan lead me to was nothing like my suite in High Scape, being nothing more than a largish bedroom, it was perfectly adequate.
I decided not to comment on the need for additional rooms for future tenants.
Once Ryan had left me, I poked my head out the door to watch which room Aiden entered. When I was sure Ryan was back downstairs, I trotted down the corridor and knocked on Aiden's door.
I heard him sigh before he responded with an invitation to enter.
His room was virtually identical to mine. I sat in the chair beside the door. “I like your brother,” I told him.

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