Resenting the Hero (30 page)

He was making a certain amount of sense. That couldn't be good. “I have bonded with Karish.” I really had. I'd felt the difference immediately upon meeting him, and I'd continued to feel it ever since. No one would be able to convince me that was all in my head. And Creol had never bonded with anyone. Perhaps he couldn't understand what it really meant. “And believe me, no one pushed me into it. He was not one of my preferred choices.”

He smiled again, and this time its component of condescension wasn't so slight. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I told him sharply.

He conceded the point with a tilt of his head. “You've Shielded Sources you weren't bonded to. I've been Shielded by people I wasn't bonded to. It's part of our training.”

“But it's easier to Shield my own Source.”

“Because you've been taught to fixate on him to the exclusion of all others. If you were given the time and encouragement to study others with the same intensity you're expected to use on your own Source, you could Shield them just as well.”

I didn't know about that. I was sure it was the bond that allowed me to observe Karish so closely in the first place. Without the bond, I wouldn't have been able to Shield him through the cyclone in Over Leap so soon after meeting him.

“You have trouble imagining it because it opposes everything you've been trained to believe,” said Creol, “but I swear the bond can be eliminated. And it should be.”

The food arrived then, and I attacked my plate with something less than finesse. I wasn't at all worried about impressing Creol. And it gave me an excuse not to talk while I was trying to think.

“The way the system works now is wasteful,” Creol was saying. “So the ratio of Shields to Sources is what, two to one? So half of all Shields are redundant. They're forced to work at the academies, or look for young Sources and Shields, if they want to do anything. Some are left to wander around as I do, and they're considered useless. Have you any idea how many of them kill themselves?”

No. I'd never heard of anything like that. All of a sudden I wasn't at all hungry.

“It's the Shields that do the hard work. Sources just open themselves up to the forces. It's practically an animal instinct. Shields are the ones who have to exhaust themselves to focus on both the Source and the forces at the same time. There is no reason why two or more Shields couldn't care for one Source, to lessen the load. Why else would the ratio be so uneven? At the very least, those Shields could be used as backup should bonded Shields become exhausted or injured during an event.”

I broke a slice of bread apart and thought about that. He had a point. If a Shield became incapacitated during an event, the Source could still channel if he had another Shield to guard him. And unbonded Shields would not experience the same difficulties with Sources who were not their partners that Paired Shields had. Definitely something worth thinking about.

“And look at me,” Creol continued, his fingers brushing his chest. “For some reason the training didn't take, and I haven't bonded. I can't work. The Triple S feels I will never work, and believe me, they've made it clear what a sorry waste of resources they consider me.” And suddenly, out of nowhere, he was all intense. He leaned across the table to stare into my eyes. I almost leaned back in my chair to get some space. “I'm good, Dunleavy. Very good. In my not-so-humble opinion I am more than a match for your Taro. But that's been thrown away because I haven't bonded. And it's not like there are so many Sources about that one should be so casually dismissed.”

He was right. There was no reason why he couldn't work, no reason why an unbonded Shield couldn't protect him.

“Think how it would be, Dunleavy, if there were no more Pairs. Think of all the problems it would solve. No one would be considered redundant. People who hated each other wouldn't have to work together, which makes everyone miserable and endangers everyone. And one person wouldn't have to die just because his partner did.” I had to admit that I was all for avoiding that aspect of the bond. I'd never understood the necessity of it, myself. “Death is always unfortunate, but without the bond, the surviving partner would at least be able to live and work with others.”

Aye, and she wouldn't have to walk around wondering when her aristocratic, apparently always-embroiled-in-something Source was going to get himself killed and take her with him. I certainly could have done without those weeks following Karish's attack, and the fear I continued to feel while he was missing. Of course, even if avoiding the bonding was possible, it was too late for me. The bond was there. I knew it.

“And then, there's the situation that's happening in Middle Reach,” said Creol, waving his coffee cup. “One partner does something wrong, both get punished. If Sources and Shields weren't bonded, when one committed a crime or was proved incompetent, that one would be properly dealt with and the other would be able to move on and work with someone else. As it stands now—Well, have you met the Shields here, Dunleavy? Every single one of them has been exiled to Middle Reach because of something their Source did. It's almost enough to make one embarrassed to be a Source.”

I pushed a sausage around my plate with my fork. I would have never expected to encounter a reasonable, sensible Stevan Creol. I didn't know what to think. Except that it was highly unlikely he had anything to do with Karish's disappearance, so now what was I going to do? “What's your plan?”

He shrugged. “I'm not sure. I'm feeling my way around right now. Talking to people. Seeing what kind of support I can get. I'm starting with the Shields here, and they will talk to their colleagues, those who are Paired with more reasonable Sources who will listen to them. All of these people have families, some of them highly placed. They can put pressure on the Triple S. Which, you may recall, is completely dependent on the public purse for funding. If it should reach the Empress's ears that the Triple S is failing to meet the needs of its members and, by extension, all citizens, she just might have someone take a look into it.”

It sounded a little sketchy to me, which made me feel he wasn't telling me everything. He'd already been planning these changes for years, hadn't he? Then again, maybe he just didn't have much of a plan. I wouldn't know how to go about making changes to the Triple S, either. “Is that all you're going to do, then? Talk?”

He smiled. “Well, no,” he admitted. “I do have some . . . demonstrations in mind.”

That didn't sound good. “What kind of demonstrations?”

“I told you I believe we are changing,” he said. “I think one of the ways we're changing concerns our talent, what we can actually do. Our powers are increasing.”

So that wasn't restricted to Karish. How . . . alarming. “Our powers?”

“Well, powers among Sources, anyway. I don't know about Shields.” He paused in invitation. I said nothing. “But I've learned some Sources are developing new skills.”

Gods, drag it out a little longer, man.
“What kind of skills?”
Healing, maybe?

The tension that suddenly appeared on his face surprised me. “You're asking a lot of questions,” he said, an edge to his voice.

I thought I was just following the script. “You offered to answer them. Besides, I'm interested.”

“This is not the sort of thing I want to have misinterpreted by the wrong people. If rumors start about wild Sources with mysterious powers, it'll kill my plan before it's even had a chance to start.”

“I can be the soul of discretion,” I promised.

He winked at me. “I like you, Dunleavy.”
Oh, goody.
“But it's not yet time, I think.”

Hook was baited, but was I caught? I didn't think so, but then I didn't know the game. Or if there even was a game. I needed to think things through, and talk to someone. Only I didn't know who. No one who came to mind struck me as being objective and impartial.

The meal was over. So, I gathered, was the conversation. Creol settled his cutlery on his plate in the manner of a man who was ready to leave. “Thank you for your company,” I said politely.

“Oh, no, thank you,” he responded with too much enthusiasm. Was he mocking me? He grabbed my hand and bowed over it. “I'll see you again soon.”

I hoped not. So he wasn't crazy. He still made me uncomfortable. I watched him leave and felt my shoulders relax.

Alone again, I lingered a little and savored the last of my coffee. I thought over the past hour and dissected the conversation. What could he have learned from it? Not much, I thought. He had done almost all the talking. I had confirmed that I was looking for Karish and that I knew of Creol's association. Would that have been of any use to him?

If he had gained anything from the conversation, it was more than I'd gotten. I still had no idea what was going on, and had gotten no hints as to whether Karish was in Middle Reach at all.

I went back to Ryan's house. He was the only one up, picking up some of the mess scattered about the living room. He smiled when he saw me. “Are you an insanely early riser?” he asked.

“Not usually.”
Not ever, until recently.
I joined him in picking up some mugs and plates, though he tried to shoo me away. “I went to the civic center to see if there was any sign of Karish.”

“Obviously you had no luck.”

“Aye.”
Obviously.
“I'm just back for a bath, and then I'll crawl over the rest of town.”

“I'll fix you something to eat while you're washing up.”

“Thanks, but no. I've already eaten.” With Creol, though I didn't mention that. I wasn't sure why I kept that bit of information to myself. Habit, I supposed.

The others were in the kitchen by the time I had bathed and changed my clothes. They greeted me cheerfully, their hangovers not too debilitating, and they expressed their wonder at my being up and active so early in the morning. They were relaxed, they were enjoying themselves, and they were too tempting. I marveled at how quickly they accepted strangers, and I envied them that they apparently had nothing to do that day but bask in each other's company. I, however, did have a chore or two to perform, and I couldn't afford to let myself be distracted by them. Making my way to the front door, I called out my farewells.

“When will you be back?” Aiden asked.

“I have no idea.” I wanted to look around carefully, and I wanted to follow up any opportunity that presented itself.

“Be careful, Dunleavy,” he said. “It's not exactly high-class society out there.”

“Not exactly high-class society in here, either,” Wyman retorted.

“Don't worry, Mother. I'm a big strong girl. I can tie my own shoes and everything.” I bounded out the door before anyone else could offer any unsolicited advice or, worse yet, company.

Perhaps I'd find Karish that day. I really hoped so. Then I could be out of Middle Reach and back in High Scape doing the job I'd been trained my whole life to do. I'd been useless for far too long.

Chapter Twenty-one

Twilight found me tired, frustrated, and unsuccessful after a day of knocking on doors and asking stupid questions. Hunting down the Runner Headquarters had been useless because, it appeared, Middle Reach had no Runners. I didn't know what the citizens did about any criminal issues they might have. Maybe nothing. Or maybe they didn't suffer any crimes. All I knew was that without that basic service, I had nowhere to start.

I went to the mayor's office, hoping someone would have some suggestions. They had heard of Stevan Creol, but it appeared everyone knew everyone in Middle Reach. They hadn't heard of his association. Certainly, I was informed with a stern glare, he hadn't asked for any permits. Only one secretary had heard of Karish, and she thought he was a prince from a collateral line, exiled to Middle Reach by the Empress for impregnating her daughter.

The Empress didn't have any female children.

I wandered around and looked. I visited all the public buildings and asked about Creol's association, and about any recent visitors. The answers, civilly delivered or not, were all negative.

So then I went to private homes. I was invited in for tea. I was sworn at. I was in danger of losing my nose, or my toes, in all the slamming doors.

I was unsuccessful. I was discouraged and scared. I didn't know what to do next. I was probably wasting my time. Karish probably wasn't anywhere in the area. I returned to Ryan's home, wishing I could give up, as I was clearly incompetent at this, but knowing there was no one else to assume the task.

I found Ryan alone in his kitchen, sitting at the table and working on something involving wood. He seemed relieved to see me. “There you are,” he said, a mild rebuke. “Aiden's gone looking for you.”

That irritated me. “I told him I'd be a while.”

“He's bored, I expect.”

I pulled up a chair. “He knew we weren't coming here for a vacation.” On closer inspection, the thing he was working on proved to be a beautifully carved bird. I was impressed. “You made that?” I asked. I so envied people who could do things with their hands.

“Aye, for my niece.”

I frowned. “Whose daughter?”

He smiled. “Not Aiden. He has no children. That we know of.”

Of course he didn't. And if he did, it would be no business of mine. Not at all. Really.

“For our sister's daughter.”

“Oh. I didn't know you had a sister.”