Authors: Tamera Alexander
Hannah walked from the house, and the smile lighting her face gave Annabelle an unexpected sense of coming home. When Annabelle whispered the reason for her return, Hannah’s arms came around her in a rush, drawing her close.
The safety of another woman’s embrace—the wordless language it spoke—comforted Annabelle so deeply that the fac
ade of strength she’d carefully constructed since Jonathan’s death swiftly gave way.
.
Late that night under cover of dark, Annabelle left the Carlsons’ house and skirted down the familiar back alleys of Willow Springs to the opposite side of town. When she rounded the corner and the brothel came into view, she paused. Seeing it again, especially at night, hearing the raucous laughter and tinny notes being pounded out on the parlor piano, gave her a strange sense of being out of place and time. The red-curtained windows spaced at even intervals along the second floor were dimly lit, but she knew the rooms weren’t empty.
Not at this time of night.
Her gaze trailed to the third window from the back and she waited, watching. How many nights since leaving Willow Springs had she lain awake and worried about Sadie—the young girl whose past too closely resembled her own. Jonathan had purposed to buy Sadie from the brothel too, after Annabelle had asked him, but the madam wouldn’t negotiate with Jonathan on that one. Fifteen years old, with waist-length jet black hair, smooth brown skin, and dark almond eyes, Sadie’s youth and exotic beauty made her one of the most requested girls in the house. Annabelle didn’t think she would ever understand the nature of some men and why they desired one so young.
The same gnawing ache that she experienced each time she pictured Sadie still trapped there started knotting her stomach, then slowly clawed its way to her chest. How could she have ever left that child behind? She’d protected Sadie—or tried to—since the girl arrived at the brothel almost four years ago.
Annabelle headed for the darkened back porch, determined not to make the same mistake again. The door wasn’t locked.
Memories crouching just inside sprang full force when Annabelle stepped into the kitchen. Stale cigar smoke and the stench of soured whiskey seemed to ooze from the wood-planked floor and walls. An overly sweet bouquet of lilac, reminiscent of perfume the girls wore, hung in the stagnant air, but it couldn’t quench the mingled scent of days-old sweat and humanity.
The place looked different to her—shabbier, older, more dismal than she remembered. Yet a quickening inside told her it wasn’t the building that had changed.
‘‘Betsy will be mighty glad to see you again. And mighty angry.’’
Recognizing the familiar voice, Annabelle turned to see Flora lounging in a kitchen chair, lace-stockinged legs propped on the edge of the table, cigarette in hand. The harsh-looking blonde smiled, but the smile held no welcome.
‘‘Hello, Flora. Has Betsy missed me that much?’’
Flora blew out a thin trail of smoke. Her eyes narrowed. ‘‘So where did you take her? Betsy had Gillam check every parlor house between here and Denver.’’
Annabelle frowned, not following.
Flora laughed as she stood, snubbing out her cigarette. ‘‘You always were a good liar, Annie. I’ll give you that. Betsy cussed a blue streak when she found out she was gone.’’
‘‘Found out who was gone?’’
‘‘Drop the act, Annabelle. We all know you did it with the help of that man you left with.’’ She raised a brow. ‘‘We just couldn’t figure out how you did it or where you hid her.’’
Uneasiness crept through Annabelle. She glanced toward the door leading up to the rooms. ‘‘What are you talking about, Flora?’’
The suspicion weighing Flora’s expression lessened. She pinned Annabelle with a look, then cursed softly. ‘‘You really don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?’’ The hardness in her face melted away. ‘‘Sadie disappeared nearly four months ago. We all woke up one morning last January and found . . .’’ She hesitated, firming her lips. ‘‘We found blood on her pillow, Annabelle. Sadie was gone.’’
T
HE NEXT DAY, WITH
Hannah Carlson on her left and Kathryn Jennings close on her right, Annabelle stared at the fresh mound of dirt marking her husband’s grave and felt a double sense of loss. First Jonathan, and now Sadie. She’d awakened during the night, regretting having ever left Sadie behind, wondering where the girl was now, if she was still alive. Odds were against it.
Thinking of Jonathan and what he’d done for her, what he’d tried to do for Sadie, Annabelle felt an invisible cord binding her to the place where she stood.
How could a man like you have chosen to
love a woman like me, Jonathan?
She tried to listen as Patrick paid tribute to her husband’s life, but the sleeplessness of recent nights kept flanking his words with random thoughts. They crowded one atop the other like voices competing for her attention, blurring Patrick’s testimony and dragging her back.
One man’s voice, distant yet distinct, jarred her concentration more than all the others.
‘‘She doesn’t love you, Johnny. She’s only using you, doing what she knows best. You know that, right?’’
Annabelle hadn’t been able to see Jonathan’s face that night, but as she peered through the spacing of the roughhewn plank door she had glimpsed Matthew’s, and the rage in his features only sharpened at the calm in his brother’s response.
‘‘I know Annabelle doesn’t love me, Matthew. Not yet anyway, not like that. But she will, given time. I’m trustin’ she’ll learn to love me.’’
While Matthew’s insults cut deep, the truth Jonathan spoke with such tenderness, about her lack of wifely love for him, knifed through her heart.
Matthew’s dark eyes went near black, and his fists clenched at his sides. Annabelle stood in the shadows of the tiny back room, feeling every bit the whore Matthew Taylor claimed she was. How quickly the sins that had supposedly been washed clean in Fountain Creek so often crawled back over those muddy banks to slather her again.
That was the last time Jonathan and Matthew had spoken to one another, and what they’d said, the sound of their voices, was ingrained in her memory.
‘‘. . . and Lord, we commend the soul of Jonathan Wesley McCutchens to you today. You created the first man, Adam, from the dust of the earth, and our earthy bodies are like his, unable to live forever. But your Word promises that after a believer dies, you will give him a new body, a heavenly one, like Christ’s. And holding to that, Lord, we trust that Jonathan is now clothed in that new body and that he’s standing in your presence even now.’’
Silence followed, and Annabelle looked up to find Pastor Carlson watching her. He motioned, and she stepped forward with a clutch of purple and white columbine, nearly crushed from having been clenched tight in her hands. She laid them at the foot of the rough-fashioned wooden cross that bore Jonathan’s full name.
Stepping back, she caught Larson Jennings focusing on something that lay just beyond her. She followed his line of vision to a grave not far from where they gathered. She knew the spot well for having visited there several times with Kathryn not so long ago. Larson knew it well too, for at one time the grave had been his.
Annabelle turned back to find Larson’s gaze on her. Though fire had ravaged his face beyond recognition as the man he’d once been, his eyes still held the bluest hue she’d ever seen. Such a piercing, vibrant blue that it gave the impression he could see right into a person. Kathryn had once said as much. But the awareness in Larson’s stare didn’t bother Annabelle in the least because Annabelle had seen into him the very same way.
He directed a crooked smile at her, and the unlikely kinship she shared with this man, who was as close as a brother might have been, swept through her.
After a moment, Kathryn leaned close. ‘‘We’ll stay with you as long as you like, Annabelle. Take your time.’’
Annabelle squeezed Hannah’s and Kathryn’s hands in hers. ‘‘Thank you, friends.’’
She stared across the narrow valley bordered by mountains on the west to the clear bubbling waters thrashing between the banks of Fountain Creek. She let out a sigh. ‘‘Jonathan would’ve liked this spot.’’ They had walked these banks together countless times. Birthed somewhere deep inside the Rockies, the stream, famous for its hot-spring pools, forged a path through miles of underground channels, braving twisting canyons and rocky plunges on its long trek to Willow Springs.
If only she possessed a smidgen of that river’s fortitude.
There were thorns in her heart that nobody else knew about, but somehow Jonathan had known. He had seen. They’d torn at her flesh until her tears had finally flowed. Tears had fallen in her heart most all her life, but it wasn’t until she’d seen them fall from Jonathan’s eyes that Annabelle finally began to suspect that she was worth far more than the dark, craven whisper had once convinced her was true. Somehow this man had begun to piece together the jagged shards of a young girl’s shattered life.
Though her life had just started over in some ways, a part of it was ending almost before it had begun. Yet standing here between these two women, sheltered by the memory of Jonathan’s love that seemed to reach beyond the grave, Annabelle found she wasn’t quite so frightened.
At the same time, she knew she couldn’t stay here in Willow Springs. Jonathan had known that too, and in his kindness, in his dying hours, he had prepared a way for her and their child. Annabelle didn’t know how she would get there, but she fully intended to finish the journey she and Jonathan had set out on together.
May 30, 1870
W
HEN
M
ATTHEW
T
AYLOR
REACHED
the outskirts of Willow Springs, he coaxed the tan gelding back to a canter, veered northwest, and urged the mount up a steep embankment. Despite the many miles put behind them in the last month, the horse made the rocky ascent with seemingly little effort.
Once they crested the ridge Matthew reined in and leaned down to stroke the animal’s lathered coat. ‘‘Well done, fella,’’ he whispered. ‘‘We’re almost there.’’ The gelding tossed its head and whinnied in response. Matthew’s hopeful anticipation at seeing his brother again lessened when he thought of how he and Johnny had parted ways last fall. Prior to meeting up that night, if memory served, it had been eight years since he had last seen Johnny, and six years of silence had stretched between them since their last correspondence. Yet remembering all they’d been through together helped to ease the knot in Matthew’s stomach. With a soft click of his tongue, he prompted the horse onward to their destination.
Newly leafed aspen flanked the seldom traveled back road leading to Willow Springs. Though Fountain Creek was masked from view by moss-grown boulders and clumps of willow trees, the familiar sound of the mountain-fed stream cascading over smooth rock bore strange resemblance in Matthew’s mind to a deep murmured whisper of
Welcome home
.
In a way, he wished he’d never left this place and that Willow Springs
was
still his home. Just like he wished he could erase his decisions of the past year and start over again. At the same time, he felt a bitter tug inside him knowing that if any other choice had been left to him, he would never have returned here—not when considering why he left in the first place nearly eighteen months ago. His sole reason for coming back was to find Johnny.
He wanted to see him.
Needed
to see him again. Especially now.
Matthew heard a rustle in the brush behind him and pulled up short. He turned in the saddle and glanced behind him while pulling his rifle from its sheath. He waited, watched. When a small ground squirrel scampered from behind a rock, he shook his head at his own skittishness and continued down the path.
Thankful for every mile distancing him from the Texas border, he assured himself that he was still days ahead of whoever was following,
if
they were following. He had no doubt that his former associates in San Antonio would have carried through on their threat if given the chance.
His only question now was how far they would go to do it.
When the shack came into view, he reined in. The weathered structure looked much the same as it had the last time he’d seen it. Huddled against a rocky foothill and partially hidden behind overgrown brush, it sagged beneath the weight of too many harsh Colorado winters. The place appeared deserted. Matthew dismounted and scanned the surroundings, watching for signs of inhabitants. If someone were here, they would have heard his approach.
Staring at the partially open door, his thoughts drifted back to that October night last fall when he’d stood in this very same spot, his heart thudding. Same as it was now. A letter he had received from Johnny had prompted that visit. And as it turned out, the contents of that same letter were what compelled him back here today.
Johnny had been in Denver last summer buying cattle, and Willow Springs being the last place he knew regarding Matthew’s whereabouts, he’d come looking for him. But Matthew was already gone by then. His brother got word from the livery owner in town that Matthew had headed south, toward San Antonio, so Johnny chanced writing him there.