R.I.L.Y Forever (14 page)

“I was driving home from dinner when I called you. Will you come downstairs and let me in before your neighbors call the police, please?” he said, a grin evident in his voice.

Julia jumped out of bed, tucking Lilly in the center of the bed and placing pillows all around her so she wouldn’t fall out. A grin spread across her face so wide she was sure she looked like a lunatic. She was thrilled Ethan came to her and she wasn’t going to hide it.

“I’m on my way down,” she whispered. “Hold on.”

She glanced down at the pink tank top and boy-shorts she wore; not very glamorous, that’s for sure. Her hair was a mess. She was a mess, but she didn’t have time to change. She flew down the steps and scanned the family room and kitchen. It looked like a toy store threw up all over the house, but there was no time to rectify that either. Ethan would have to accept her as is. This is what single working moms and their homes looked like.

Her heart did acrobatics in her chest. She stood in front of the closed door feeling a little like a wobbly bowl of Jell-O. She tried to will her body to open the damn door. So she’d admitted she missed him, what was the big deal? Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and was swept up into strong arms that held her so tight she could barely breathe.

Ethan kicked the front door shut as Julia wrapped her arms around him. She stood on tiptoes, buried her face in the side of his neck and breathed him in. Every single damn thing that had gone wrong all week slipped away. She was in Ethan’s arms and all was good again. The elephant that had made himself comfortable on her chest all week stood, stretched, and sauntered off. She was as light as a butterfly floating in the summer breeze and it felt great.

She rained kisses up the side of his neck and under his ear and whispered, “You’re here. You came. I missed you, sweetheart. We missed you.”

“My girls needed me and I needed them. And Julia?” He pulled her gently from him and raised her chin with his fingers, forcing her to look him in the eye. “I missed you too. I missed both of my girls. It’s been a shit week without you guys.”

Ethan brought his mouth down on hers in a hard claiming kiss that seemed to last an eternity and took stole her breath. His lips devoured hers and his tongue dueled it out with hers, rediscovering and reclaiming every inch of her mouth. By the time he finished kissing her, her legs were Silly Putty and she clung to him for support. Sometime during the kiss, he walked them over to the couch and pulled her down on his lap. As he held her in his lap, she burrowed into him and rested her head on his chest, trying to catch her breath and slow her galloping heart. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. Looking up at him, she studied every inch of his face and slid her fingers in his thick, wavy hair.

Smiling, she said, “Hi.”

“Hi, beautiful. Better now?” He brushed the hair away from her face and attempted to gather it into his hand.

Julia noticed every time they were intimate like this, he played with her hair and would try to gather it in one hand. He was like her personal human hairclip. She loved the way he touched her with such passion and how he never hid his desire for her. When he wanted her, his eyes would change to an intense dark gray and his voice would go all husky. He always put his feelings out there, never hiding any of it from her. He made her feel sexy, beautiful, and wanted.

“Now, tell me what happened this week and don’t leave anything out.”

Julia recounted the week’s events, including her conversation with Ms. Donaldson and her appointment with her the following week. When she was through, she admitted with the exception of the conversation with the attorney, the last few days were not that awful. Without him, though, every minor hiccup seemed so much bigger than it actually was.

“I’m sorry, Eth. I haven’t been myself for the last few days. Lilly picked up on it and had a meltdown. We’re not usually this needy. I’m fine now. Tell me about your week.”

He tugged at the ponytail he formed in his hand until she looked up and their eyes connected. In his eyes she saw the truth of the words he said next and was assured of his sincerity.

“First, there’s nothing for you to apologize for. From now on I don’t want you holding back anything. I want to know it all: good, bad, everything. You’re not being needy and even if you were, I love hearing my girls missed me as much as I missed them. Jules, I know you’re scared and I know it was hard for you to tell me you missed me, but you’re not the only one who has needs in this relationship. It’s
good
to be needed and wanted. Thank you for giving me that.”

Julia laid her palm against his face, leaned in, and gave him a long, slow kiss. What did she do to deserve this incredible man? He gave himself completely to her. He trusted her with his heart just as she trusted him with hers and Lilly’s. She wasn’t in this alone. She could do this. She looked into his eyes and gave him what he’d been waiting for, what he needed to hear and she needed to say.

“I love you, Ethan. I love you, as does Lilly.”

Without even a second of hesitation, Ethan smiled and said, “I love you too, baby, both of you. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. I’ve never stopped. You’ve always had me. Do you know that? You’ve always had me.”

Grasping the locket in her hand, she brought it up so he could see it. “Yes, I know. I’ve worn the evidence of your love around my neck for twenty-two years and I have loved you in return. I’ve never, not for an instant, stopped loving you. I never believed I’d have you again. I convinced myself that this is all I would ever, could ever have of you. Now”—she looked back into his eyes—“now I know better.”

“Thank God for Grandma Mildred. I’m glad she gave me that locket to give to you. I can’t tell you how happy I was when I saw you still wore it.”

“I never took it off, not even when I was with Matt, I couldn’t. I knew it was wrong, but you’re the only man who’s ever loved me just the way I was. I couldn’t have you away from me. I needed you close and it was all I had of you.”

“I can’t believe Matt never questioned it.”

“He never knew about you. He thought Ella gave the necklace to me. He never opened it; never saw the inscription. I tried to take it off and put it away when we first got married. Aimee and Ella told me I should, but I think I lasted about a month. One day I opened my jewelry box and there it was. I couldn’t help myself. I put it on and the relief I felt was so immense, I never took it off again.”

“I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. We somehow found each other again. This is a gift we’ve been given, this second chance. Let’s put the past behind us, all of it. I meant every word in that locket and nothing has changed except I love you even more, if that’s possible.”

Chapter Thirteen

By the tender look on Ethan’s face, Julia was sure she made the right decision. She was glad she told him she loved him. He said he loved her and Lilly and she believed him. She hadn’t thought about how he felt and what his needs were. She was selfishly thinking only about herself and Lilly while this man, the man she loved, needed her and Lilly to love him and need him. Well, that wasn’t a hardship. They could give him that. He was easy to love. He wasn’t going to let her and Lilly down, but she also vowed she’d be there for him and not let him down, either.

“Eth, I know you’ve had a long day, but will you stay? I mean, I … I want you to … uhm…”

Julia’s cheeks warmed and she dropped her eyes. She felt ridiculous. She was a grown woman, not a skittish virgin and yet she was blushing. Asking a man to spend the night and make love to her shouldn’t be this hard, should it?

“Jules, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I want you too baby and I’m not going anywhere. Come on, let’s go put Lilly in her own bed. I want to love my woman in a comfortable bed where I can take my time and not on this couch.”

With that, he took her mouth in a deep devouring kiss that had her melting into him as her body caught on fire. That was all it took. She wanted him badly and she could feel by his growing erection, he wanted her no less. He ended the kiss and stood leading her up the stairs and shutting the lights as they went up.

In her bedroom he made his way to the side of the bed where Lilly lay in deep slumber sucking her thumb and holding George close. Ethan scooped her in his arms. Lilly stirred and drowsily opened her eyes, looked at Ethan, smiled a sweet smile, and nestled into him.

“E,” Lilly mumbled and smiled as her eyes closed again.

“Shh, angel mine. I’m here. It’s okay now, sleep baby,” Ethan cooed as he rocked her and walked to her room.

Julia made sure the baby monitor was on as Ethan returned and shut the door behind him then began undressing. She’d been too distracted before to notice, but the man looked sinfully delicious in a black tailored suit, white dress shirt, and gray silk tie. The suit fit his muscular body perfectly and he looked professional, powerful, and unbelievably sexy. No wonder every female in the hospital drooled over him.

Julia sat on the edge of the bed and watched Dr. Sexy remove his jacket, tie, shoes, and socks. He looked up and smiled when he saw she was perched at the end of the bed watching his every move. He didn’t seem to mind and continued the show for her by unbuttoning his shirt and then taking it and his white undershirt off. Next he undid his belt and pants, letting them fall to the floor, leaving him only in snug-fitting boxer briefs. The evidence of his desire filled his boxers and bulged impressively.

He prowled toward her and gave her a slow sexy smile filled with promise of what was to come. When he made his way to where she sat on her high four-poster bed, he ran his hands up her bare thighs applying slight pressure until she opened and he could stand between her legs. His hands wandered up to the edge of the snug boy-shorts she wore and his thumbs began a slow caress of her inner thighs.

Julia was lost to the delicious ripples of pure lust that ran through her as his thumbs continued their slow exploration, getting closer and closer to her center. The feeling of his naked, muscular thighs rubbing against hers was exquisite and she couldn’t stop herself from running her hands over his chest, feeling his muscles ripple underneath her palms. She heard his swift intake of breath as her fingers rubbed over his nipples until they hardened. Lost in the wonder that was him, she reached up and pulled him to her. He didn’t resist.

He kissed her and it was deep and wet as she raked her fingers through his thick hair. His hands traveled under her tank top and he broke their kiss to remove it. With his eyes blazing, he took in every inch of her.

“You’re beautiful,” he said in a husky whisper.

Without warning he bent down and captured one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked hard as his hand captured her other breast and kneaded it. Her nipples instantly hardened and she arched her back as she held him to her. She felt her panties getting soaked and knew he would see and feel evidence of her overwhelming desire for him. She was lost to the delicious sensations he was evoking in her.

When one of his hands made their way under her boy-shorts and his thumb lightly ran over her wet panties, applying slight pressure right over her clit, she started to tremble and used all of her will to hold back her quickly approaching orgasm. She arched into him and moaned in his mouth. His thumb continued its exploration and caress as his other hand ran up her side and over her breast lightly caressing the already-hardened nipple over and over again. She saw stars. It wouldn’t take much more to push her over into complete bliss. She was putty in his hands and she clung to him, whimpering his name.

He kissed her again, a long, demanding, hot kiss that had her wild with need. Suddenly, they went at each other, starved and needy. They took turns touching, kissing, sucking and tasting every inch of each other. She took what she wanted, needed, and what she’d been waiting so long for. She took everything he gave and she gave him everything he demanded and everything he needed. Mouths locked, tongues danced and tangled, and before she even knew what had happened, they were both naked, limbs tangled in the middle of the bed.

She arched into his mouth as he kissed and licked down her stomach and then parted her legs. Before she had time to protest or feel embarrassed, he licked her folds and plunged his tongue deep inside her. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head in sheer ecstasy and she was mindless with need. Her body trembled uncontrollably as she fisted his hair in her hands and moaned his name over and over again.

“Oh God, Ethan!”

“Shh, baby. It’s okay, I got you, but you have to let go of my hair or I’m going to be bald by the time we’re done.” He looked up at her and chuckled.

She tried to loosen her grasp as she involuntarily arched into his talented mouth that licked and sucked every inch of her except the place she really wanted him to. When she whimpered his name again and applied pressure to the back of his head, he got the message and took her clit in his mouth, sucking at it while he plunged two fingers in her. That was it. She screamed his name and shuddered, her body clamping down and holding his fingers deep inside her.

Before she fully came down, he was on her. He covered her with his large powerful body and took her mouth in a long, passionate kiss. She opened her legs even wider for him as she held on to him and dug her fingernails into his back. She felt his long, thick, rigid erection at her center, but as he slowly began to enter, her eyes widened and her breath caught. He was so big and she hadn’t done this in a long time. What if she wasn’t good enough? What if she couldn’t give him what he needed? She stiffened and clamped down so he was forced to stop.

“Jules, look at me. Give me your eyes,” he said, his voice tight, giving away just how much control he was using. “Baby, please, let go. Just give me your eyes. You’re beautiful, perfect and I love you. I’ve got you. Let go and I’ll catch you.”

Looking up at him, she saw the tenderness and love he felt for her reflected in his eyes and on his face. She touched his face and kissed him. “I love you, Ethan.”

“I love you too, so damn much.”

Her eyes locked with his and she could do nothing but trust him and let go. The second she did, he plunged all the way in until he was planted deep inside of her. They both moaned. It felt so good, so deep, but she wanted more. She wrapped her legs around him and threw her arms around his back, effectively cocooning him in her embrace. She squeezed him using every muscle she could and he plunged even deeper, harder in her.

“God, you feel so good,” she said in a husky voice as she dug her fingernails in his back and her heels in his buttocks.

“More?” he asked as he trembled underneath her hands.

He was holding back, trying to be gentle for her, but she wanted all of him. “Eth, more, yes. Give me all of you. Don’t hold back. I need you, all of you.”

He went wild. Within seconds he turned her on her belly and pulled her up on all fours as he plunged again and again into her until a fine sheen of sweat covered both their bodies.

“Come on baby, just let go. Come for me, Jules.”

Ethan reached down and around, using his thumb, he rubbed her clit in a circular motion with just the right amount of pressure. That drove her over the edge. Her arms collapsed and she screamed out her release into the pillow. He thrust deeply a few more times and then with one hard, deep thrust he let go and buried his head into her hair as he groaned out his release, his body trembled and spasmed and she could feel the warmth of his release inside her.

He kissed the side of her neck right up to her ear and said, “Remember I love you forever.”

They stayed that way, him buried deep inside her and his body covering hers for a long time as they both caught their breath and came down to Earth. Finally, he pulled out and rolled to his back, turning her and gathering her close to him. Her muscles were nonexistent and her bones had liquefied. She felt like a boneless puppet as he positioned her to lie on his chest and held her to him. He brushed her hair off the flushed face and kissed the top of her head.

“You okay, beautiful?”

“Mmh.”

“Does that mean yes or no?”

“Mmh.”

“Okay, I need a little more. Think you can say a few more syllables?”

“Yes … no.”

She forced the words out of her hazy brain. She was sated and only wanted to cuddle next to his warm body and sleep. She hadn’t felt this good, this satisfied, and this, well,
loved
in so long. Why did the man want to talk?

“Jules, did I hurt you? I’m sorry if I was too rough. It’s been a long time for me too.”

Julia heard the uncertainty in his voice and roused herself. She squeezed him and kissed his chest. “No, sweetheart. You didn’t hurt me, far from it. I was with you all the way. I haven’t felt this good or come that hard ever. I’m Jell-O, chocolate mousse, crème caramel. Choose your dessert. Can’t move, talk, and won’t be able to walk for a week. You’ve learned a few things since we did this last time.”

Ethan hugged her to him, stroked her back, and chuckled. “Okay, you had me concerned with your … mmhs. You’re amazing. Do you know that? I don’t think I’m going to be able to get enough of you or that sexy body of yours.”

She didn’t know what to say. He was being sweet. Self-conscious all of the sudden, she reached for the sheet to cover herself. She knew it was stupid to feel shy after what they just shared, but she couldn’t help it. The euphoria was fading and she remembered the last time Matt saw her naked.

She was pregnant and didn’t even know it yet. Her body had begun to change, her breasts a little bigger and her tummy a tiny bit rounder. He walked into the bathroom as she was getting out of the shower. He stopped and stared at her with visible disgust.

“You need to take better care of yourself. You’ve let yourself go, like all women do once they’re married. Really, Julia. I expected better of you. You need to watch your diet and exercise more or you’re going to go from curvy to fat fast.” He shook his head and walked out as she collapsed onto the edge of the tub and cried, humiliated beyond belief.

“Jules?” Ethan interrupted her thoughts. “What’s going on in that head of yours? Why are you trying to hide from me?”

She shook her head and started to sit up, dragging the sheet with her. Giving him her back, she tried to steady her voice. Why do memories of her nightmare with Matt come at the most inopportune times? Damn it, even though he wasn’t there, Matt was ruining this beautiful night for her.

“Nothing, Ethan. I’m going to clean up and get a t-shirt. I’ll be right back.”

Ethan wrapped a muscular arm around her waist and dragged her back toward him, positioning her underneath him, effectively trapping her. Putting two fingers under her chin he forced her to look up at him.

“No hiding, Jules. Not now, not ever. Let’s promise we’ll always be honest with one another. That way we’ll learn from our past mistakes and not make the same ones going forward. We’re starting fresh here, baby. We’ve got to stay honest. It’s the only way we’ll make it.”

He was right. If they were going to do this and make it work, they had to be honest. But she carried a lot of garbage in her head from her childhood and her marriage and there was a lot she still hadn’t told him about their past. She was afraid what he would do when she did. She couldn’t think about that now.

“Okay, Ethan, I’ll try. Be patient with me. Some things aren’t that easy to share. They’re embarrassing and painful.”

“I’ve got all the time in the world. Now, what’s with the hiding?”

She couldn’t hold his gaze and focused on the hollow of his throat. She told him about Matt and the bathroom incident as she struggled not to die of humiliation. He was silent as she talked and even after she finished. After a couple of minutes, he rolled off of her, stood, and scooped her out of the bed. She gasped in surprise and grabbed onto his shoulders.

“Ethan, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to show you how I see you,” he said in a firm voice as he strode to the bathroom with her in his arms.