R.I.L.Y Forever (15 page)

In front of the full-length mirror, he put her down in front of him so she was facing the mirror. She felt vulnerable and exposed and tried to turn away.

“Uh-uh. No, don’t turn away. Look. This is how I see you. Stay with me.”

He gathered her hair in his hands and ran his fingers through it. He pulled it to her back, as their gazes locked in the mirror. “I love the feel of this gorgeous hair in my hands and caressing my body.”

He ran the back of his hands down her breasts and cupped each one, playing with her nipples. “Your breast are perfect, soft mounds that fit my hands just right, like they were created for me.”

He ran his hands lightly down her sides and then across her flat abdomen stopping right above her mound. “Your skin is so incredibly soft and I love the way it flushes with desire. You have curves in all the right places, a sexy body with a delicious belly button. And here”—he cupped her mound—“is where I’d like to stay all day if I could.”

It took a while, but she saw the honest desire and appreciation he had for her in his eyes. Seeing that gave her the confidence to stand tall, confident and beautiful in her sensuality. She turned in his embrace and met his eyes.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“For what, beautiful?”

“For giving me back … me.”

Chapter Fourteen

The six weeks that followed were the happiest Ethan could remember in his life. He, Julia, and Lilly fell into a routine of domestic bliss. They worked, they played, and he and Julia made love every second they could to make up for all the years they missed. Most nights Ethan ate dinner at Julia’s and slept at her place so Lilly’s routine was not disturbed and because his place wasn’t quite ready for a curious toddler. Lilly thrived under his attention and always squealed in delight when her E came into view. Each day Ethan fell deeper and deeper in love with his girls and started thinking of forever.

Julia met with the custody attorney several times and although she was prepared to move for sole custody, she elected to wait Matt out. Matt had been surprisingly quiet, too quiet in Ethan’s opinion. Since the day Matt stormed out of the house after bringing Lilly home, he hadn’t contacted Julia and hadn’t tried to see his daughter. Although Ms. Donaldson thought they should act first and put him on the defensive, she acquiesced to Julia’s insistence they take a sit-and-wait approach. Over the last six weeks, Julia’s temper cooled and although she still wouldn’t let Matt take Lilly out of her sight again, she hoped they could come to some sort of understanding and avoid a nasty court battle.

Ethan wasn’t sure he agreed with Julia. Ultimately, this was her decision and he tried to be supportive. He loved Lilly and thought of her as his already. He wanted children and she filled a hole in his heart. Ethan was determined no one, not even her bastard of a father, would ever hurt her again. Lilly captured his heart and even Julia thought it was amusing how her precocious child had charmed and conquered Ethan so quickly.

To say Ethan spoiled Lilly was an understatement. Evidence of this could be found any time they were together, but especially at the Sullivan Castle where they spent much of their free time. While Adam and Ethan spent hours demolishing, repairing or remodeling walls, floors, and ceilings, Aimee, Lexi, Christine, and Julia worked on furnishing and decorating every room that was completed.

Then there was the garden. Julia claimed it as her domain. Over the weeks, and with the help of a few gardeners, the wild jungle garden was transformed into paradise complete with a baby play space containing a swing set, sandbox, and baby pool for Lilly’s enjoyment. Ethan took over outfitting Lilly’s playground with every imaginable toy a child could want, including an outdoor dollhouse. No matter how much Julia complained he was spoiling Lilly, Ethan told her nothing was too much for his angel.

Only two things marred their perfect existence. The first was easier to deal with than the second. Around the first week of June, Alyssa contacted Ethan. At first he avoided her calls and let the calls go to voicemail. He deleted her texts unanswered. Finally, he decided to put an end to the constant calls and messages by answering the phone. He prepared himself for her usual tirade filled with accusations and ugly comments, but what he got perplexed him. Alyssa apparently just figured out he no longer lived in Boston and, for some odd reason, felt the need to call him and try to reconnect.

She was civil and asked about his new life in Jersey and his new job. She even went as far as to apologize for her outrageous behavior over the last few years. Ethan wasn’t fooled. He gave her the briefest of information, accepted her apology, just to put an end to the bizarre conversation, and wished her well. He thought that was the end of it until she called again a week later.

This time Alyssa asked if she could come to Jersey to see him or if they could meet up somewhere in Boston. When he said he didn’t think it was a good idea to meet and he saw no reason to do so, she became more demanding. He didn’t know what her game was, but there was no way in hell he was letting her back into his life. He told her, in no uncertain terms, they were over legally and otherwise and he had no interest in rehashing the past or having her in his life. When she ignored what he said and continued to insist they meet, he snapped.

“Alyssa, listen carefully because this is the absolute last time I will speak to you. I’ve moved on and so should you. You destroyed any hope of us being friends or anything else by your destructive behavior. While I once wanted you in my life, that has changed. We are completely and utterly done. Stay out of my life and I’ll do the same for you. Do not contact me again.” With that, he hung up. She hadn’t called or texted since.

Julia listened to him speaking with Alyssa and said nothing. She fixed him a drink, gave it to him, and walked out of the room. Later that night in bed, he brought up the subject.

“We don’t have to talk about this. Really, Ethan, I’m fine. I’m just tired,” she said and turned on to her side, giving him her back.

She wasn’t fine. He wrapped his arm around her and dragged her stiff body against his. Inhaling her sweet scent, he kissed her hair and neck.

“Baby, I want you to listen to me. I’m not Matt and I never will be. Alyssa and I are over. We have been for a long time and nothing will ever change that. What it comes down to is this. Do you trust me? ’Cause if you don’t something or someone will come between us. You have to talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking and feeling and give me a chance to chase away your demons.”

A few minutes of silence went by and then her body melted against him. She turned in his arms and burrowed her face in his neck as her arm snaked around his waist and around his back. She fisted at his t-shirt in her hand and held him close.

“I’m sorry, Eth,” she said and kissed his neck. “Of course I trust you. I know you’re not Matt. I love you, sweetheart. Please don’t give up on me, on us.”

He gathered her hair in his hand and pulled on it until she lifted her face to him, but she kept her gaze on his chest. He touched his lips to her forehead and said, “Eyes, beautiful. Let me see those beautiful emeralds.” When she lifted her gaze to him, he saw the uncertainty and fear. He took her mouth in a deep scorching kiss that had her moaning in his mouth and arching her body into his.

“I love you, Jules and I’m never going to give up on you. Never!”

The second thing that shook Ethan was harder to put his hands around and continued to trouble him. One night, as he lay holding Julia in the dark after a long, satisfying session of lovemaking, he casually mentioned he needed to call his parents in the morning to check on his father. The last few times he talked to him, he sounded more tired than usual. The second the words left his lips he felt Julia stiffen in his arms. In the darkness of the room he couldn’t see her face to read what was going through her head, but her body language gave him concern.

His parents had given Julia a hard time when they dated in high school, but that was a long time ago when they were just kids. Both his parents had been unwavering in their disapproval of their relationship. As hard as they tried to convince Ethan to break up with Julia, he wasn’t remotely convinced. He told them they didn’t know her well enough to disapprove of her and their differences in social status and back accounts had no bearing on their relationship.

During the time they were together, Ethan brought Julia to dinner a number of times hoping if his parents got to know her, they would see how wonderful she was and change their minds. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Each time his parents met Julia, their meeting ended in disaster. Julia always left feeling humiliated. He’d apologized for his parents’ behavior and spent hours talking to Julia, repairing the damage they did to her self-esteem. Then he’d come home and spend even more time arguing with his parents, mainly his mother, about their unfair treatment of Julia. Still he was hopeful they would accept her in time, if not love her as he did.

Six months before his high school graduation, all hell broke loose. One evening, after they finished dinner and were waiting for dessert to be served, he reached for Julia’s hand and told his parents he had an announcement. He finally decided which university he was going to attend in the fall. He would not be attending Duke, as his father and grandfather had done. Instead he would attend Holy Cross University with Julia.

To say his father was livid was an understatement. Mayor Sullivan had ignored Julia’s presence in his son’s life other than to tell him not to get her pregnant. But, that night he made it clear he would not entertain the idea of his son not following in his footsteps like they planned for the last four years. From that moment on, war was declared and Julia was no longer welcome to dinner or any other event his parents were in attendance. They’d reached their limit and refused to continue pretending Julia would ever be an acceptable choice for their son. Life became a living hell for him at home.

In the end, Julia broke up with him and he gave in to his parents’ wishes and attended Duke. The Sullivan’s never once discussed Julia’s sudden disappearance from his life, his depression, or the reversal of his decision to attend Duke. It was like she never existed. They threw him a massive graduation party attended by all their friends and toasted his fine accomplishments and his future at Duke. As a graduation present they packed him off to Europe for two months and before he knew it, he started his studies at Duke.

Twenty-two years passed since all that drama took place. Julia might still have some painful memories, but they were adults now and his parents lived hundreds of miles away and had no influence on him whatsoever. His parents had aged and softened quite a bit over the past two decades. Although he hadn’t told them Julia was back in his life, he was fairly certain they would be happy to see him happy again since, Alyssa, their choice for him, had made his life a living hell.

As Ethan lay in the dark next to Julia that night, he tried to talk to her about his parents. They seemed to do all their serious talking at the end of the day in bed these days. But she made light of the issue. She gave him a peck on the lips and said, “I don’t want to revisit the past when the present is so much better.”

Ethan wasn’t fooled. He knew she didn’t sleep that night or the night after. Out of the blue, her nightmares returned. After that, he decided not to bring the topic up again and give Julia time and love. He hoped in time she’d open up to him on her own.

Weeks later he sat at the kitchen table talking to his mother on the phone and watching Julia prepare the potato salad they were taking to Lexi’s for the July 4th cookout. Although she lost her smile the second the conversation began, she seemed to be okay. When he started talking about his father and his mother’s growing concern about his health, however, Julia froze in her place, staring out the kitchen window with her arms wrapped around herself.

That was it. They couldn’t put this conversation off any longer. It was obvious Julia was never going to open the subject herself. It was the final stumbling block between them and he was going to have to storm the castle and bring Julia out of the past and fully into the future.

He ended the call with his mother, promising her he would call back in the evening to check on his father who at that moment was preparing to take part in a July 4th parade and then give a speech. He made his way to where Julia stood, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him. Her slender frame trembled against him.

“Julia, what is it? Please, tell me what’s wrong. I can see something’s eating at you, something to do with my parents. I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s got you so upset.”

Julia shook her head and said nothing.

“Jules, please. Whatever it is, you can trust me. Don’t you know that by now? I’d never let anything happen to you. I can’t stand to see you so upset. I want you to be happy and healthy and whatever you’re holding in is standing in the way of you reaching both those things completely.”

When he got no response, he turned her around in his arms so he could see her eyes and what he saw in them made him flinch. His girl’s eyes were big and absolutely terrified. What the hell? He cocooned her in his arms and rubbed her back until she stopped quivering.

“Ready to talk?” he whispered in her ear.

She pulled away and the resignation he saw on her pale face was both a blessing and curse. She was giving in, but it looked like she was also giving up.

“It’s a long story, Ethan, and not a pretty one. We have to be at Lexi’s in an hour. I promise to tell you everything, but let’s enjoy the day and then we’ll talk tonight after Lilly is down. Okay?”

“We don’t have to go, we could call Lexi and give our apologies. She’ll understand. We could spend the day quietly together and work through this,” he offered, wanting to get it over with.

She shook her head. “No, I want to go. I need to go. Please I promise we’ll talk as soon as Lilly is down.”

“Okay, Jules. Whatever you need. Just remember I love you when you are talking with your girls today. I understand you need them. I get it. But remember there’s nothing you can’t tell me and we can’t share. Okay?”

“Okay, Ethan. I’m sorry,” she said in a small, resigned voice.

“Nothing for you to be sorry about. I’m not upset you need your girls. Now come on, let’s get the day started. I’ll go see if Angel is ready to get up from her nap and you get the food packed.”

Ethan gave Julia a soft kiss and caressed her check with his thumb. “It’s going to be okay, baby. Whatever it is, we’ll work through it together.”

By the time Ethan and Julia arrived at Lexi’s, the celebration was in full swing. Everyone was dressed in casual summer clothes and looked relaxed and happy. Music played in the background as people lounged around talking, munching on chips, and drinking beer. Lexi immediately took the salad from Julia, handed them both beers, and directed them to the deck.