Road to Redemption (16 page)

“I don’t hear Roxy barking. What kind of guard dog is she?” Cori asked when they made their way to the front door of Jack’s house.

“Don’t worry about her,” he explained.  “She knows it’s me.”

“How could she possibly know it’s you without seeing you? She can’t smell you through the door can she?”

“No,” he said, unlocking the door. “She would have heard my truck and recognized it. Not to mention the garage door opening. Never owned a dog before, I take it?”

“Nope. No pets in our house. My parents are allergic.”

He stopped and stepped in front of her for what he knew would be Roxy’s excited welcome. “Are you allergic?”

“No, I’m good.” She peeked around him at the sound of the tapping that could be heard overhead on the hardwood floors.  And then the reddish colored boxer that came barreling down the stairs right at them.

“Crap,” Jack muttered. “She better not have been on my bed.”

Roxy skidded to a stop at the sight of a stranger, her butt wagging with uncertain excitement while she danced around in circles.

“Sit, Roxy,” Jack ordered before she could decide to jump on Cori and knock her back.  He leaned in and gave her a good rub between her ears, praising her. “Be good, no jumping. Cori, let her sniff your hand,” he instructed. “She hasn’t been around anyone but me since I moved here.”

Cori stretched out her hand, which Roxy sniffed and blew spit on from the drool that was accumulating in her excitement. Roxy pranced around, her body quivering with excitement. Her big wet tongue came out and licked Cori’s fingers.  “Oh aren’t you gorgeous? And so well mannered, with the exception of a little spit.” She giggled and wiped her wet hand on her pants.

She crouched down to get closer to Roxy just as Jack ordered, “No, Roxy.” But it was too late. Roxy jumped up, knocking Cori back onto her butt, where she landed with a thump.

Her giggle turned to a laugh while Roxy bathed her with kisses. “You’re pretty affectionate, aren’t you girl? You need to teach your daddy how to be.” She ran her hands up and down Roxy’s back in a fast motion.

Jack rolled his eyes and reached down to grasp Roxy’s collar. “OK, Roxy, enough.  Let’s get you a biscuit.”  The sound of the magic word had Roxy dashing for the kitchen while Jack helped Cori to her feet. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem. I think she likes me,” Cori said happily.

In the kitchen Jack reached into the jar and tossed a biscuit in the air for Roxy to catch. The dog finished chewing and sat in front of Cori with pleading eyes.

“Can I give her one, too?” she asked Jack. “I think she wants another one.”

“Sure. She always wants biscuits. It’s actually the only way I can get to do anything.”

Cori reached in and grabbed a biscuit, tossed it in the air and then rubbed Roxy’s head when she was finished with it. “Are you a Biscuit Whore, Roxy?”

The dog looked at her with pleading eyes at the sound of the word “biscuit” again. Meanwhile, Jack was trying not to be insulted. “Did you call my dog a Biscuit Whore?"

At the sound of the word again Roxy barked this time, demanding her treat. Cori laughed. “Yep. Get it. She’ll do anything for a biscuit. Even beg.  Biscuit Whore.”

Jack shook his head, and explained. “Roxy will do anything for food because she was repeatedly starved as a punishment before I adopted her.”

“Aw, Jack, you saved her,” she said sweetly, causing him to look away embarrassed.

***

Once Roxy had her fill of treats and her water bowl refilled, the excitement of the evening was clearly showing in Cori’s movements.  “Let’s head to bed,” Jack ordered. He picked her bag up from where he had dropped it in the foyer, and they made their way up the stairs to Jack’s bedroom.

In the doorway to his room Cori exclaimed, “Wow, look at the size of that bed. No wonder you want to come home and sleep here after our nights together,” she said, teasing him. “I didn’t even know they made a bed that big.”

“It’s a California King.  I like having a lot of room. And being comfortable for the few hours I manage to sleep.”

“You would have needed a moving truck for that bed alone,” she said while she started to get ready for bed.  She pulled off her pants, but kept her T-shirt and underwear on, then climbed on the large bed, her hand covering a yawn. 

He was stepping out of his jeans when he looked up and said, “I bought everything new when I moved here. I was too lazy to pack it all up by myself.”

Cori’s eyes gleamed. “So, you’re saying that since I’m the first person that Roxy has met here, that I’m also the first person in your house, too?” At his nod, she continued, “And because you bought all new furniture when you moved here, then I’m the first woman in this bed?” she said in conclusion.

“Yes,” he answered, confused by her comments.

“Oh man. I’m not so tired anymore.” She grinned and pulled her T-shirt over her head, tossing it on the floor.  Of course she had nothing on under it. “Come here.” She reached for him as he climbed on the bed. Pushing him on his back, she wiggled out of her underwear.

Grasping the waistband of his boxer briefs, she helped him shed them. “Looks like you aren’t so tired right now either,” she said, swinging her leg over his hips.

“Nightstand drawer.” He nodded his head. “Condom.”

She reached over and grabbed it, then set it next to them for the moment as he brought his hands to her breasts. He cupped and squeezed them in turn, running his fingertips over her nipples bringing them to life. Her body was so reactive to his touch.

Circling her waist with his hands, he pulled her forward placing his lips around one hardened nipple, drawing it deeply into his mouth. He loved her body, loved how she just gave it over to him.

With one hand, he moved between her legs. “So ready for me already.”  

As he moved his lips to her other breast, she groped for the condom and ripped it open.  Sliding out of his grasp, she moved down his body slowly. With her eyes never leaving his, she placed the condom on the tip of him and slowly rolled it down his long length.  The passion burning in her eyes was more than he could take.

Urgently, he positioned her on top of him, then eased her down while she stayed on her knees, her inner thighs squeezing his hips as he controlled the pace of her body.

Pulling her up and easing her back down, setting a rhythm that suited them both. First long and slow, then short and fast, changing back and forth, building it higher for them.  Her breath was coming in short bursts. She was so close.

Removing one hand from her hip, he brought it to the place he knew would send her over the edge in one touch. And it did, causing her to ride him hard and fast, shouting out her release.

His own hips were pumping up just as fast, keeping in rhythm with her until his own release exploded from him.

Content to have her relaxing on his upper body, he asked, “What was that all about? Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”

Yawning against his chest, she mumbled, “I felt the need to de-virginize your bed.”

He snorted. “Is that even a word? And thanks, by the way.”

She lifted her head and looked at him. “It’s my word tonight.”  Laying her head back down, she looked across the room for the first time. Roxy was on a miniature mattress in the corner. “I think we embarrassed your dog.”

He turned his head and located Roxy with her back to them and her head buried under her paw.

***

Cori woke up alone in Jack’s bed the next morning. When she finally located the clock, she realized it was after ten.   Still early for a Sunday morning, especially after not getting to bed until well past midnight, but she wanted to find Jack and get a closer look at his house.

It had been dark when they arrived, so she didn’t even get a good look at the outside of his house, let alone the inside.  With the exception of the foyer, all the lights had been off.  Even the kitchen only had a dim night-light on when they fed Roxy her treats.  Actually his entire house seemed to have night-lights in the hallways, now that she thought about it. 

There was so much moonlight coming through his big curtainless window that they hadn’t even bothered turning on his bedroom light last night.

Now was her chance to see how he lived though.  Sitting up, she looked around the room and noticed how huge it was. And empty.

His big bed and a matching dresser were the only furniture in the room. Not including Roxy’s bed on the floor.  The room was painted in an off-white color, the bed made of dark cherry wood that was close in color to the refinished wood floors.  The same dark wood molded the doorways and windows.

She hoped one of the other two closed doors in the room was a bathroom.

Surprisingly the wood floors were warm on her bare feet, even in the dead of winter.  Pulling on her T-shirt that she retrieved from the floor, she made her way to the first door and opened it, nope, closet.  A pretty nice walk-in closet, too.  She noticed it was filled with scrubs on one wall, in blue or green. The other wall held casual clothes, jeans, shirts, sweaters and what looked to be three different suits, two that she had already seen.  His wardrobe shouldn’t have surprised her. But it did. It was pretty pitiful.

Stepping out of the closet, she went to the other door and discovered that it was indeed a bathroom.  A big, beautiful bathroom painted in the same off-white wall color and dark wood trim as his bedroom.  

A large tiled shower in a cream color was on one wall, with a toilet and a double vanity in a darker tan color on the opposite wall. With the exception of his toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste, the vanity was as bare as his bedroom.

Overall, though his master bedroom was modern and impressive in size, it lacked any type of warmth. It was plain.

She made quick use of the shower and wasn’t surprised she couldn’t find a hairdryer after a quick search through the small closet and drawers. A few toiletry supplies and towels were all that she discovered there.

Walking barefoot out of his room, dressed in jeans and a loose-fitting purple sweater, she noticed four more closed doors down the hall. Probably bedrooms and another bath, she guessed. Then she made her way down the stairs rather than exploring.  Thankfully the wood floors, which matched the ones in his room, seemed to be heated throughout the house. 

At the bottom of the stairs she noticed the living room to the right and leaned her head in, off-white again. She was recognizing a theme here.  The room, like his bedroom was massive, but only held two black leather recliners and a big flat screen TV mounted on the wall above a stone fireplace.

Making her way down the hall, she passed a room that she assumed would be a formal dining room, if he bothered to put so much as a table in it.  Of course, it was the same off-white color as the living room and the hallway. 

Another door on the opposite wall was slightly ajar and, being as nosy as she was, she pushed it open, peeked in. Wow, it was furnished, but not much better than his bedroom. A large cherry wood desk was placed in the center with a laptop on top.

Well, he was definitely neat.  Of course it was hard to have a dirty house when it was so empty. One more door next to the office, she pushed it open and found a simple powder room. At least it wasn’t off-white, but the pale yellow wasn’t much different in her eyes.

At the end of the hallway was the kitchen that she would finally have a chance to see.  It was beautiful.  Boring, but beautiful.  And ran the entire length of the back of the house, completely remodeled with high-end stainless appliances, large cream and brown granite countertops with the same brown wood trim around the doors and windows. 

Jack was seated at one of the barstools next to the island drinking a cup of coffee and reading from his tablet. He looked up. “Morning,” he said shyly.

She pushed her wet hair behind her ears, walked over and gave him a quick kiss, then climbed on the stool next to him. “I like your house.  I would like it better furnished, or painted any other color than off-white,” she told him with a grin.

Shrugging, he took a sip of his coffee. “This is how it looked when I bought it.  I haven’t had time to make any changes. Not that I would know where to start or the first thing I would even do.  Furniture is simple. It’s me and I’m hardly ever home as it is.”

Placing her elbows on the counter and chin in her hands she frowned. “That’s sad, Jack.”

“We aren’t going to go there again, are we?” he asked in warning.

“No. You know why?” she asked. “Because I don’t think
you’re
sad anymore, only your house now.”

Jack placed a cup of black coffee in front of Cori with the creamer, a bowl of sugar, and a spoon.  Just because he knew how she liked her coffee didn’t mean he had the stomach to make it for her. “Hungry?” he asked.  At her grin, he answered for her. “Stupid question, I know.”

He placed the creamer back in the refrigerator after she prepared her coffee. “Well my kitchen is about as empty of food as yours, but I’ve got eggs and bread,” he offered.

“You cook?” she asked surprised.

“If you consider scrambled eggs and toast cooking, then yes.” He already had the eggs on the counter and was setting the pan on the stove. “Why don’t you put the bread in the toaster?”

“If you want it burnt, sure.”

Whisking the eggs in the bowl, he replied, “Never mind. I’ve got it.”

Several minutes later he placed a plate, real not paper, in front of her and topped off her coffee, bringing the creamer back to the counter with him.  When she was done with it, he replaced it in the refrigerator once again.

“A little OCD there, aren’t you?”

“What?” he asked confused.

“The creamer. Why not leave it out until we’re done?”

“Because if it stays out too long the temperature rises and it can start to spoil,” he said reasonably. 

She shrugged and continued to eat silently.

“Can I ask you question?” He interrupted the meal she was devouring. He couldn’t understand how such a little person could put away so much food. And so fast.

“Sure,” she said around a mouthful of toast.

“Why did you react like you did when I said I was impressed with how you handled the situation last night? And don’t say you were tired.”

He could tell she was trying to act nonchalant.  “I don’t know. Knee jerk, maybe? I’ve had people pigeonhole me before about not taking my job seriously. It’s like they think you can’t have fun and do a good job at the same time.”

She paused and took a swig of her sugar-filled coffee. “I finally got sick of trying to defend myself. I let my work speak for me now. But I guess it hurt when you said that last night, like you were shocked or something.”

“I wasn’t shocked at all,” he clarified.  “I knew you were good at your job. I must admit I was shocked at how good you were at first. And that first day in my office, when I finished work on time, I thought maybe it was a fluke. But by the end of the week, I realized you were the best nurse I’ve ever had.” 

At her stunned expression, he added, “Why do you think you ended up in my office for those extra three weeks? I tried to convince myself I could avoid you.  Guess that didn’t work, did it?” He gave her a rare dimpled smile.

“I thought it was you that put in for the extension, but then I convinced myself you didn’t once I realized you were avoiding me. No one can avoid me for long.”

She got up and placed her plate in the dishwasher and made herself another cup of coffee while she hesitated for a second. “Well, since you started with the questions, can I ask one of my own?”

“Saying no has never stopped you before,” he said sarcastically.

“True, but this question is a bit more personal.”

He faltered a minute but agreed. “Go on.”

“Will you tell me about Tracy?”

He froze.

“You don’t have to. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” she hastily rushed out.

He sat there quiet for a moment. “No, it’s okay. It’s just I haven’t heard, or said her name in so long. It was a bit of shock.”

“Maybe no one says her name because you don’t,” she offered.

“Could be.” He shrugged. “What do you want to know?”

“Whatever you want to tell me.  But you don’t have to if it hurts too much.  I asked Brooke your story in the beginning. She isn’t a gossip,” she assured him. “So I know the simple facts, high school sweetheart, went to college together, married, she got sick and it was fast. Nothing more.”

“OK. It seems weird talking about my wife with my...” He paused.

“Your what?” she asked with a knowing grin.

“Nothing.”

“No, say it.” She pushed at him, getting more comfortable on the stool.  “You can do it,” she encouraged as she would a child trying something new for the first time.

His face started to turn a light shade of pink. He hadn’t really realized what he was going to say, it just started to come out of his mouth, and now he couldn’t turn back. “You know what I mean.”

“Nope. I want to hear you say it.  Come on, it’s not hard.  I’ll even help.  It’s the opposite of boyfriend. You know, that thing I call you in my mind, since I’ve been afraid to say it out loud,” she confessed to him.

“Really? You, afraid to say something?” he said in mock amusement.

She pushed a bit more. “Don’t change the subject.  Say it. Come on, now. I know you can.”

“Fine. My girlfriend. It seems odd to say.”  Odd, but surprisingly not as hard as he thought it would.  And even more surprising, there was no rushing in his ears, no pounding in his chest at the revelation. It felt…natural.

“Don’t you feel better now that you finally got it out?” She leaned toward him on the stool and kissed his cheek. “Tracy?” she hedged again.

He sighed and gathered himself.  She didn’t need to know that she guessed right. “You know the basics then.  She would have liked you. You two had similar personalities,” he said, remembering fondly.

“Really?” she asked curiously.

“Yeah. Both outgoing and talkative.” He grinned at her. “Both pursued me, not the other way around. Both scared the crap out of me in the beginning.”

“Guess we both had good taste then, huh? What did she look like?”

“Nothing like you.” He watched her pout. “Total opposite. Tall, blonde, blue-eyed. Athletic, head cheerleader. Did all those flips and things. And like you, she liked to be around people. Had to be the center of attention at all the parties, and enjoyed every bit of it.  She could take over any conversation. Which worked for me since we know how much I like to talk,” he said with a smile he didn’t quite feel.

“Sounds like someone I would have liked, too.”

He got up from the stool and busied himself cleaning up breakfast.  He was starting to feel antsy. “She liked to go out a lot.  Loved to brag to all her friends and clients. She was in Marketing,” he informed her when she looked confused. “Anyway, she loved to brag to her clients that her husband was a doctor. She was so proud of it, thought it was like a fairytale or something.” 

He was wiping the counters down now without looking at her. “No matter how much I tried to tell her it was nothing like that, she didn’t believe me.  When I had a rare night off, she wanted to go out on the town, wanted me to attend all these dinners and functions with her. I went because I wanted to be with her. But I wasn’t comfortable and she knew it.”

He looked around the kitchen, saw it was back to its normal order and there was nothing else left to do. So he leaned back against the counter. Somehow without control, the words started to flow out of his mouth. “She started going out more. Alone. Stopped asking me to go, and I was thankful. I was focused on my career and she was on hers. It worked for us, or so I thought.  The more she went out, the later she stayed out. She said she was getting more clients that way.”

He ran his hands through his hair, frustration creeping in over the memories. “When I mentioned she was looking tired and pale one day, we argued. She told me I was jealous, and that she had a right to focus on her career, too. She was right, on both accounts. I was jealous and she should be able to focus on her career.”

“Regardless of this day and age, not many men would like their wives going out without them all the time. Even if it was work related. I would think your reaction was normal,” Cori said, siding with him.

“Yes, but she didn’t think my reaction was normal. And I felt guilty, like I was holding her back. She had supported me for so long. I wanted to do the same for her.  I also knew she didn’t like to be alone. I figured all those client meetings were a way to keep her from being home alone all the time.”

“I don’t understand that. I like being around people, but I also like to go home and have time to myself too. Everyone needs to be alone from time to time.  She must not have realized how hard your job was going to be, for you or for her.”

“Could be. Anyway, on one of my rare nights off, we went to dinner, had a nice night out. Just the two of us at her favorite restaurant, got all dressed up, the works. That night, in bed,” he stopped, feeling extremely uncomfortable.

“What? Go on,” she urged.

“This doesn’t feel right. I’ve never said this to anyone before, not even Ryan.”

“I know you’ve had sex before, Jack,” she said sarcastically.

“It’s not that. It’s that I’ve never even said this out loud before. Any of it. I’ve always been private about my relationship.”

“Maybe you need to say it out loud, to open up.  Don’t think of me as your girlfriend, think of me as another medical professional. Think of it as therapy,” she offered helpfully.

He waited, processed that in his mind and decided to continue. He had come this far and hadn’t cracked yet, like so many people thought he would in the beginning. “I found a lump in her neck.  I froze and took a good look at her. She had lost weight. She was always thin, but then looking at her in bed, I realized she was wasting away.  Something wasn’t right, but I didn’t want to scare her. The next day I convinced her to go to the doctor.”             

Pushing off the counters, he started to pace around the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets, trying to find an outlet for the anxiety that was building. “Leukemia. Too far gone at that point to start treatments.  They said a bone marrow transplant might help, but nothing was guaranteed. We got several opinions with the same results.  In the end she refused any type of treatment or surgery, said she wanted to enjoy what time she had left the best she could.  There was no talking her out of it,” he said sadly.

“And being a doctor you tried, huh?”

“Yes. I did, but she didn’t listen.  I took a leave of absence from work to be with her, but in the end it was fast. Barely more than a month.  If I had paid more attention to her when I thought she looked tired the first time, maybe we would have caught it sooner.  At least early enough to try some kind of treatment. But I didn’t push when I should have,” he said regretfully.

Cori’s eyes filled with tears. “You can’t blame yourself, Jack.  She was an adult. She made her own choices in life.  She sounded like an intelligent woman, but someone who was focused on the wrong thing.  You did what you could do. You did the best you could have.” She wiped a tear away with her knuckle.

He walked over to her and gave her a hug. “Don’t cry. It’s over. I’m fine.  But thanks. It helps to hear someone else say exactly what I tried to convince myself of for so long.”

Holding her tight, he refused to tell her that even if they had found Tracy’s cancer early and she survived, he was sure their marriage wouldn’t have.  Because he wasn’t positive—never proved it and didn’t he have the energy to try—but months after her death he suspected Tracy had found someone else to give her the time and attention he never seemed able to measure up to.

He’d spent over fifteen years with Tracy, she was the love of his life, and he promised her everything he had. It was a bitter pill to swallow that she might have betrayed him. That he failed.