Rocking Esme (The Rocking Series Book 1) (18 page)

Esmeralda

“ESME!” Marcy called out as she walked through my front door. I didn’t answer her, I stayed hidden under my duvet. I felt her jump on my bed and she pulled the duvet away from my head. I looked at her and burst into tears once again.

“Oh, hun, come here.” She pulled me to her and tried to calm me down, it wasn’t working. She asked; “Are you not getting ready for work?”

I shook my head and said; “Not going, called in sick.”

“You need to get out of this bed… Come on, let’s get some coffee.”

“NO!” I shouted and carried on with; “I don’t want to risk bumping into him, besides, I still don’t feel quite right. Still really tired and run down.”

“Ok, let’s just go to the kitchen and I will make some coffee.” She then threw the duvet off me and she gasped. “Is that his t shirt?”

I nodded and got out of bed and threw my jogging bottoms on. I went straight to the sofa and pulled a blanket over me. Marcy came over with two cups of coffee and put them on the table. She looked at me and said, “Esme, Jackson is a mess…” That made me sit up and take notice, so she carried on with; “He won’t talk to Rick about what’s going on…”

“Why hasn’t he rung me, Marce?”

“I don’t know, hun... What I do know is that you need to get back to work.”

“No, I can’t. Not tonight, he’ll be there.”

“Exactly, show him what he’s missing… Come on.” She pleaded with me, I could see her point. Maybe avoiding Jax wasn’t going to help. Maybe seeing me will help him come to his senses.

“Ok, yeah… I need to call Paul and tell him I’m coming in.”

“I will do that, you get in the shower.”
I nodded and started to head into the bathroom. Before I got there, I turned around and said, “Marce, I’m scared. My heart is breaking and I don’t know how I will react when I see him.”

“It’s ok, hun, I will come with you.”

“Thanks.” I smiled at her.

***

It was half past seven and I had been at work for an hour. Marcy had kept to her word and hadn’t left me. Every time the door opened, I got nerves in my stomach and held my breath. Jax hadn’t arrived, it was Rick who walked in and he smiled when he saw me and Marcy and headed straight for us.

“Hey, Angel.” He said as he kissed her. “Es, are you ok?” He asked as he leant over the bar and kissed me on the cheek.
I just gave him a tight smile and froze as the door opened and Jax walked in. He looked at me and looked away almost immediately. My heart sank.

“I had better go, Angel. You staying until the end of the show?”

“Yes, babe.” Marcy replied.

“Ok, see you both later.”
Rick walked off in the same direction as Jax went.

“He hates me.” I said to Marcy as tears started falling down my face. Marcy grabbed my face and wiped my tears with her thumbs.

“Stop it, you
are
ok. I will get Rick to find out what is happening. Ok?”

“Ok, I better go collect some glasses.” As I walked away from the bar, I noticed Jax had walked over to the other side of the bar; the side I didn’t serve at. That upset me as he was clearly avoiding me. I wanted to talk to him so much, but he was showing me that he really wanted nothing to do with me.

It got really busy at the bar which I was thankful for. I noticed that once Flix finished playing, Jax left straight away. It was like I was invisible to him. I was horribly upset and tried so hard not to break down in tears.

Jackson

It broke my heart to walk in to The Archer and see Esme behind the bar, she didn’t look well; she looked like she hadn’t got much sleep and she looked ill. Though she was still as gorgeous as ever.

I really wanted to go straight to the bar and hold her in my arms and tell her that I forgave her, that I loved her and that I wanted to spend my life with her, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to Esme to get her hopes up of a future between us two when it may not be possible. Cindy had turned my world upside down in more ways than one in the last few days and my future was too uncertain for me to even consider how Esme would fit into it.
I couldn’t stay around after we’d finished our performance, I was finding it difficult to watch Esme pretend everything was ok, when I knew it wasn’t.

Jackson

I was sat at a table in The Archer waiting for the next singer to start, Rick had managed to convince me to stick around for the open mic night that Paul has organised. We should have been playing tonight but it was only fair to let some other talent get some exposure, and as Rick pointed out, we may be interested in trying to get some new talent on our tour and I was interested as a fresh face and voice always brought people in.

The crowd started clapping and cheering. I looked up and saw Esme standing on the stage, I was shocked as she had refused to perform the duet that we wrote together all those weeks ago. What was she doing up there? She looked tired, worried, but God, she was breath taking. I felt the familiar stirrings in my stomach and my heart ached at not being able to touch her, I wanted to hold her close so very much, but I couldn’t. I snapped out of my thoughts and listened to her sing, her voice was so innocent and pure, I would definitely love for her to come on tour with us and perform our duet together.
She finished singing and I had to get out of there, it wasn’t fair to stay around and tell her that I was so proud of her, that she looked beautiful up there, that I wanted to hold her, kiss her and make love to her.
I couldn’t do any of that, I had Cindy to deal with. She came to me a couple of days ago, crying her eyes out, telling me that she had no one, she was lonely, depressed and going through something which she wouldn’t tell me about. She had hurt me a lot when I found out that she had constantly been cheating on me, but we had been together for eight years. I wanted to be there for her, she had no family and very few friends. I felt like I was betraying Esme as we hadn’t really spoken since I found out that she knew that Cindy was cheating on me and she didn’t tell me.

I was ready to talk to Esme and beg for her to take me back, until Cindy threw a spanner in the works. She told me she was pregnant and that the baby was mine. Shell- shocked was not the word for what I was feeling. I didn’t know what to do, didn’t know whether to believe her and definitely didn’t know if the baby would actually be mine.

I felt like I couldn’t contact Esme, what if Cindy was pregnant and the baby was mine? I would have to do the right thing and step up and be the man Cindy needed me to be. She was crying constantly and it always got worse every time I mentioned about going to see a doctor. She had shown me the pregnancy test she had done, but I needed more proof than that. In the past I wouldn’t have hesitated to not believe her, but after everything we had been through I needed more proof.

I finally managed to get Cindy to agree to an appointment and it was scheduled for two day’s time.

Esmeralda

It had been almost two weeks since Jackson last spoke to me. When he came into the bar and wanted a drink, he always went to the other side of the bar so he wouldn’t have to talk to me.

My heart broke every time I saw him, and I was thinking the stress was getting on top of me, as I seemed to be sick and feeling unwell a lot recently. Rick told me he had tried to have several talks with Jackson, but he just wouldn’t listen and that he didn’t seem like the same person anymore.

I’d decided it was time to fight for my man; I had been working on a song that I wanted Jax to hear, I wrote all the lyrics and Rick had helped me with the music. Rick told me that he had convinced Jax to sit in the bar on open mic night, Rick said he seemed interested.
It was the time for me to get up and sing, I was so scared, but I needed to show Jax what he meant to me.
I went up to the stage said hello to the audience and told them I was nervous. I could see Jax looking at me, but couldn’t work out how he was feeling.
The music started and I began to sing:

The first time I saw you

I had no choice

My heart stopped beating

At the sound of your voice

I looked into your eyes

And melted away

When you noticed me

It made my day

Seeing her by your side

Breaks me in two

How can you believe

She loves you

I looked into your eyes

And melted away

When you noticed me

It made my day

I want you so bad

So I will just wait

I have no control

So will leave it to fate

I finished my song, looked around and there was no sign of Jax. Everyone else seemed to be going mad, clapping and whooping.
I said thank you to the audience, got down off the stage, went to the back room and burst into tears. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately, it must have been a sign of what Jax really meant to me.

I finished my shift and went home, took a bath and crawled into bed, I had a doctor’s appointment for after the weekend to see if I could get rid of this bug, it was really getting me down now.

Esmeralda

I had made an appointment to go to the doctors. I still felt run down, I was being sick and felt really tired. I’d started to struggle at work because of it and I needed to find out what was wrong, before I lost my job.

The doctor said I was run down and had a virus that was going around and he suggested that I take a couple days off work, to rest, and he gave me a prescription for some iron tablets.

I walked out of the doctor’s surgery to my car and as I searched for my keys, I looked up and saw Jax and Cindy walking into the doctor’s surgery together. They weren’t holding hands or anything, but they must have got back together, that must have been why he had been avoiding me. I felt sick to my stomach and wondered if I had ever meant anything to him at all, if I had, how could he have gone back to her so quickly? I’d spent the last two weeks going through hell and it looked like he had spent that time sorting things out with Cindy. I got into my car and broke down in tears. I got my phone out and texted Marcy;

Saw J, he is back together with Cindy. x

What? Are you sure? x

Just saw them together x

Maybe it’s not what it looks like x

I didn’t respond to Marcy, I wasn’t ready to accept the fact that we would never be together again.

Jackson

I walked into the doctor’s surgery with Cindy; I was going to find out once and for all if she was pregnant. If it turned out that she was, I was going to wait for the baby to be born and insist she have a test done to see if the baby was, in fact, mine. I didn’t want to stay away from Esme for nine months. If it turned out the baby wasn’t mine, I would have lost any chance of getting back together with her. I couldn’t tell her what was going on, I couldn’t expect her to be involved in a baby that Cindy and I had made. That wouldn’t be fair on her.

“Cindy Jeffries.” A doctor called into the waiting room; she stood up and turned to me and said;

“I won’t be long, babe.”

“I’ll come in with you.”

“No, you don’t need to.” She told me firmly and walked away quickly.

Cindy

I walked into the doctor’s room and sat down in the chair.

“Hi Cindy, what can I do for you today?” Dr Stevens asked.

“I need a pregnancy test done.”

“Ok, have you been getting symptoms?”

I shook my head and said; “I need the test to be positive.”

“I’m sorry, there is no way to guarantee that.” Dr Stevens looked confused.

“I need something in writing to say that I am over two months pregnant.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

“I will do anything.” I said flirting and bending over slightly to show him my cleavage. He didn’t say no again straight away and I was hopeful that I could convince him.

Jackson

“Excuse me.” I said to the receptionist, who was busy typing away at her computer.

“Hi, can I help you?”

“Yeah, my girlfriend is having the first scan of our baby and I arrived late, can you tell me which room she’s in please?” I felt bad for lying to her but I needed to get into the doctors room to find out if Cindy was pregnant or not, I would not let her lie to me about it, and I didn’t trust her as far as I could throw her.
The receptionist told me what room she was in and I made my way there. I opened the door and walked in, not expecting to see what I did.

“CINDY!” I shouted at her. The doctor was sat on the examining table and she was bent over him, giving him a blow job. “What the hell is going on?” She jumped away from the doctor immediately shielding him with her back.

“Oh… Um….” She hesitated.

“And you… You are meant to be a professional. There will be complaints made about this, I will have you STRUCK OFF!”

“No, sir, please. She offered herself on a plate to me for a fake positive pregnancy test.”

“WHAT?” I shouted again. “I can’t believe you, I’m glad we’re over and I’m glad that we are not connected for the rest of our lives. Don’t EVER come near me or contact me EVER again.”

I stormed out and didn’t look back.

***

Meet me at the bar, I need to talk
I messaged Rick.

Sure man, when?

Now.

Be right there.

I stormed into The Archer avoiding eye contact with Esme and went to sit at a table in the back. Ten minutes later, Rick arrived.

“Hey, man, what’s up? You want a drink?” Rick asked.

“Yeah, jack and coke, please… Make it a double.”

“Ok, be two minutes.”

I watched Rick walk over to Esme and give her a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to be the one kissing her. I needed to get my head straight and then I was going to sort all this out and hoped that I wasn’t too late. Rick made his way back to the table with two drinks. He sat down and asked;

“Are you back with Cindy?”

“What? No!” I was shocked he asked me that after what I went through with her and without realising it, I was shouting; “Why did you ask that?”

“Calm down, man, Marcy told me Esme text her and told her as she saw you two together.”

“What? Esme thinks we’re together?”

“She saw you two together and thinks that’s why you have been avoiding her.”

“Oh, God. No… No… No.” I put my head in my hands and looked down at the table, when I looked back up Rick was waiting expectantly for me to explain. “Look, Cindy told me she was pregnant and that the baby was mine. At first, I didn’t contact Esme, after I found out she knew what Cindy was up to behind my back… But then Cindy came to me crying, telling me she was pregnant and it was mine, and that she was scared as she had no family or friends to turn to.”

“Dude, you don’t even know if it’s yours.”

I shook my head and said; “She isn’t pregnant, Rick, I caught her trying to convince the doctor to give her a fake positive pregnancy test result.”

“Really? Why am I not that surprised?.. So what are you going to do now?.. Is this why you stayed away from Es?”

“Yeah… I couldn’t be with her if Cindy was pregnant and it was my baby… That wouldn’t be fair on her.”

“So what now?”

“I need to get my head around all this and hope I haven’t lost my chance with Es.”

“I really hope you’re not too late.”

“Me too, man.”

Esmeralda

It was a quiet night and I was thankful for that, I was still feeling under the weather and was sick again this morning, this virus was not getting any better.
I was surprised when I saw Jax storm in and then shortly after Rick walked in too. They chatted and Rick came to the bar, he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“What can I get you?”

“Two Jack and Coke’s, please. Make one a double.”

“Everything ok? Jax ok?” He hesitated in answering me “Sorry, I don’t want to put you in an awkward position.”

“No, it’s ok. He told me he needed to talk with me.” Rick replied. I raised my eyebrows and Rick added; “Your guess is as good as mine, I don’t know what is going on in his head at the moment.”

I passed him their drinks and he smiled at me and walked back over to Jax. He looked upset tonight and I wondered what he needed to talk to Rick about. I couldn’t help but think it was my fault, he obviously couldn’t get over the betrayal he felt from me. I would do anything to make it all better. Hopefully, Marcy would tell me tomorrow what was going on. I heard raised voices and looked over to see Jax with his head in his hands, I was starting to think that there was something else going on as why would he come to The Archer if all this was about me.