Ruining Me (16 page)

He pulled away and
I saw him throw his arm up and shoot his brother a friendly hand gesture. 
“I’ll call you tomorrow,”
he said and walked
to the truck. 

Walking in the house
,
I lock
the door behind
me
and set the alarm.  My mind was going over what Kip said as
I showered and fell into my bed. 
JT
needed more from me about what happened, but I just couldn’t go there.  I had never talked to anyone about it.  For one, so much time had passed that I don’t think anyone would believe me.  When it first happened I blamed myself
and then the next month was a nightmare
. 
I just
want to
forget about it. 
He ruined me for JT.  I was saving my virginity for him. 
JT
and I h
ad been talking about taking our relationship further.  He loved the thought that
we both
had never been with anyone else.  Then I was ruined.
  I fell asleep again with tears in my eyes.

The clock on the wall ticked loudly in my ear. 
I was in my white room again
, h
owever, now crimson blood leaked from the top of the walls running
swiftly down to the floor.  About
a foot of blood pool
ed
at the bottom.  I sat in the middle of the room directly in the thick liquid
and the blood coated my naked legs and
backside. 
My hands twirled through the thick blood at my side. 
I could even smell the musky scent it had.

Directly in front of me the
thick red liquid
started bubbling and then something began rising from the blood.  I realized it was a head with the hair slicked back from all the blood.  Next
there
were eyes
as
red as
rubies
.  They stared at me and the head moved with
an
almost s
nake like grace back and forth.  Next came his broad shoulders and the blood ran down to his flat stomach.  He was naked and when the next part of his body rose
,
I turned my head.  I could see his legs from the corner of my eyes and then he was finally standing whole in front of me. 

He dropped to his knees
and grinned at me.  “Come to me,”
he commanded.  I shook my head no.  “Well then fight me, because I can always take what I want.”  He grabbed my arms and pulled me to him and tried to kiss my mouth.  “Fight me my beauty.  Force always makes it sweeter.”  I opened my mouth to scream then. 

Sitting up in bed
,
I notice the
sun ha
d
already start
ed
rising.  My body
started
shaking and
I
pulled my knees
hugging them
to me.
My nightmares were getting darker.  I hadn’t had o
ne for months until last
week.  Going back to school has
triggered them
and also having to see him again
. 
Last year
,
he had left me a couple of notes, but he didn’t approach me.  Why all the sudden is he harassing me more?

I wasn’t going to
be able to
go back to sleep so I went ahead and got up.  Throwing on my bathing suit
,
I went
downstairs. 
I grab some breakfast then went outside to
the pool.  The sun was already shining bright by the time I
lay down on the chair. 
Not a cloud was in the sky.  I turn on my
iPhone
to my Kings of Leon
playlist and close my eyes. 
 

About an hour after I had been outside my phone chimed that I had a text. 

Kane – You up?

Me – Soaking up the sun by the pool…want to join me???

Kane – I need to go work-out.

Me – Have fun working out.
J

Groaning to myself,
I guess he is not going to push me.  I know it’s what I wanted, but then again I hate it.  The thought of seeing him in his swim shorts
warms me all over. 
Sitting up I g
rab the tanning oil rubbing it
on my skin and t
he sweet
smell of coconut fills the air.  Thirty minutes later my phone buzzes again.

Kane – I should be working out……

Me – So why aren’t you????

Kane – Because I’m standing at the gate to your pool.  I guess I just can’t stay away.

I jump off the lounge chair and rush to open the gate.  When it swings open my jaw drops.  Kane is standing there in his swim shorts
,
flip flops
,
and nothing else
.  My mouth waters at the sight of his chest. 
My eyes finally go to his and that’s when I lau
gh because he is staring at my body the same way I am staring at his.  Glad I wore my new yellow bikini.

“Like what you see
Sweetheart
?”
  He laughs
at what say
and I know he is remembering that’s what he ask
ed
me when we first met.

“Yeah, I really like what I see.”  He grabs me and pulls me toward him for a kiss.  “You’re all slippery and you smell so good.  Like a tropical isl
and.”  He kisses my nose and
my mouth.  “
Damn,
I can’t stay away.  I didn’t sleep well again last night and I blame you.”   I kiss him back and pull away to
hold
his hand and lead him to the lounge chair next to mine. 

“
Now l
i
e
down and rest
,” I say and h
e plop
s
down on his stomach. 
Pouring
some tanning oil
onto my hands
,
I begin
to massage his back.  His groan let
s
me know he like
s
what I
am
doing.  I knead his shoulders and
back
.  Finally I’m able to read the script across his neck.  It reads
To Thine Own Self Be True
. 
The words hit me hard and I trace the words with my finger. 

My hands r
ub his
lower back
and then move down
his legs.   About twenty mi
nutes later when I
am
finished
,
I
move
up to kiss his cheek and realize
he
is
sou
nd asleep. 
Smiling
,
I
move to my chair and lay down.  He really was beautiful and it seem
s
like it
i
s inside and out.  How could I ever let him go?  I close
my eyes and bask
in the warm sun.

The buzzing of a bee above me woke me up.  The sky had turned cloudy and I look next to me.  Kane was sound asleep still on his stomach.  His back was red from falling asleep in the sun.  I jump
up to wake him.

“Wake up Kane.”  I sh
ake
him awake.  He lean
s
up and wince
s from
the pain of his back.
  Grabbing my phone
,
I
notice
that it was almost four in the afternoon.

“Damn, how long did we sleep?”  He was still groggy and he looked so freaking sexy. 

“Long enough, Sleeping Beauty.”  I sa
y and grin
at him.  “Come inside so I can put some a
loe
on your back.  Thank God that it was c
loudy or
you would
have
be
en
really sun
burn
ed
.”  He follow
s
me into the kitchen.  I grab the aloe
that
we ha
ve
in the fridge and
rub
some on his back.

“Tha
t feels so good Jay.”  I finish
and wash my hands in the sink.  He
comes up behind me and kisses
me. 
I close my eyes and fe
e
l his mouth drift over my neck and back.  “You taste
so good
.  When I’m not with you all I do is think about you and when I’m finally with you, I am thinking about when I can be with you again.  Crazy, huh?”  Words had left me and I
nod
my head yes.  “You make me crazy, Jay.”  His lips continue down the center of my back.  His hands are gripping the sides of my hips.

His lips
and hands
suddenly leave me and I turn my head to look back at him.  His eyes
ar
e shining
and I look down
to
see that I’m not the only one turned on.  His breath is heavy and
he’s gripping the kitchen counter like it’s a life line. 

“You test my patience.  I’ve got to get ready for work.  Are you coming to the bar tonight?”

“I think I’ll stay around here,” I say as I turn toward him. 

“I’ll be working so that’s good for me.  I’d hate to watch all the douchebags hitting on you all night.”

“Please Kane, what about all the little college girls worshiping at your feet?”  He finally step
s
back to
look at
me.

“It’s you that I’ll be thinking about.  I can come here after work if you want
me
to, but Jay I think I really should give you a little space.   They’re ten million things I need to do tomorrow and I really need to hit the gym.  How about I call you tomorrow before I go to work?”

I sigh and answer him, “I guess you’re right.”  I lean
in
and kiss him.  Our lips explore each other for several minutes before I pull back.  His eyes are
still
closed and he looks
so yummy that I lean back in and lightly kiss his lips again.

“I’m going to need the coldest shower when I get home.”  He and I both laugh.  I walk him out to his car and he kisses me one last time.  “I’ll call you,” he says.

“I’ll be waiting,” I reply.  He gets in his car and drives away.  My face feels like it
’
s stretched with the biggest smile.  He just makes me happy.  I go back in and settle down for a lazy weekend.
 

The night passes and so does the next day.  My parents call and check in with me to make sure everything is fine.  Sunday night
,
Kane
finally calls to
check in with me before work
. 
He
t
ells
me that he misse
s
me and I t
ell him I’m
glad.  He laugh
s at me, promising
to call the next day after school.  I didn’t have any nightmares both nights.

Monday morning arrived with me feeling refreshed and ready for the day.  It had been a long time since I felt that way.  Fe
eling good about myself
,
I decide
to wear my new pale pink sundress to school.  It had sweetheart sleeves and fell just above my knee. 
I brush my hair until it sh
ines
and slid
e
on a new pair of flats.  I took a picture of myself blowing a kiss to the mirror and sen
d
it to Kane along with a quick text.

Me – Missing you…..