Run This Town 03 - (Watch Me) Unmask You (3 page)

Sounded like something old people said. Except even though he spoke fucked up, Elias wasn’t really that old. “Thank you anyway,” Lucky said. “For the food and the warmth and the ride.”

Framed by the red beard, Elias’s lips curved. “You’re welcome.”

Lucky looked down, dirty sneakers scuffing the ground. “Will I see you again? Not that I care,” he rushed to add. “Just thought I’d ask.”

Elias’s smile was wide, his teeth bright. “Goodbye, Lucky Mousasi.” He turned and walked out of the yard and Lucky stood there, until he couldn’t see him anymore.

The noise inside the school auditorium was deafening.

Elias sat in the back and kept his gaze trained up on the podium as the principal called names. One by one the students went up on stage to get their diplomas. He shouldn’t have come.

But here he was.

He shouldn’t stay.

But he would.

If his employer found out where he’d disappeared to, Elias would have hell to pay.

“Lucky Mousasi.”

Elias would gladly pay the price. Hearing Lucky’s name boom over the speakers made Elias’s spine stiffen. Made him sit up, lean forward. Lucky walked quickly across the stage, wearing a blue gown that didn’t quite reach his ankles. His fellow graduates hooped and hollered for him, and Elias watched him smile, watched him blush as the principal handed over the diploma. Lucky nodded at something the man said, the tassel from the blue cap on his head swinging across his cheek.

Why am I here?

The young man he’d found hiding in that closet was nowhere to be seen. This Lucky was confident and sure and… taller?

It was the height of fucked up and perverse to be here, but Elias had to stay. Just for a while longer, long enough to talk to Lucky, to ensure he was truly alright. Then Elias would leave and never come back. Never should have come.

But he’d thought about nothing else. Worried for Lucky like he’d worried for no one ever. Not even Stavros and they shared a bed. Shared more than that, but Elias didn’t even spare Stavros a thought when they weren’t in the same room.

He hadn’t stopped worrying about Lucky since the day he drove away from that New Jersey home all those nights ago.

He remained seated until the last diploma was handed out, until all speeches were given, then snuck out the back of the hall. Outside he leaned against the corner of the building, hiding, keeping his eyes on the entrance.

This was the last place he should be, but for the first time there was really no place Elias would rather be. He shook his head at himself then straightened when he noticed Lucky’s aunt and uncle exit the school. The Hendersons were an older couple with no children of their own. They didn’t look equipped to handle Lucky, as a ten year old and now in his teenage years. He took a step toward them then stopped when Lucky came out.

He was laughing, talking to a male friend. Lucky’s gown was gone. He wore an ill-fitting dark suit, eyes bright and dancing as he used his shoulder to bump his blond friend who reciprocated in kind. His aunt called out to him and Lucky went to them, taking pictures, talking nonstop.

Elias just watched him. He definitely looked different. Looked lighter, in a better place. College bound. His life would change when he turned eighteen in the fall. Then again when at twenty-one. Elias went to great lengths to ensure it. He’d make sure Lucky had everything he needed.

So yes, he’d appointed himself Lucky Mousasi’s guardian. He didn’t even feel bad about it. Lots of things to feel bad about. That wasn’t one of them. He never wanted to see Lucky the way he’d been in that closet, in that house, that night. Lost and scared and needing to be protected.

He glanced over to where Lucky stood with a bunch of his friends. His aunt and uncle had gotten into their car and after a wave at Lucky and a honk on the horn, they drove off, leaving him behind. Elias moved out from the shadows and stood there, waiting for Lucky to notice him.

Shouldn’t take long. He was the one looking out of place, out of his element.

Lucky didn’t see him. His back was to Elias as he started walking back into the school with the group.

“Lucky.” Elias called out to him.

Lucky froze. He didn’t look over his shoulder, but the others did.

“Lucky,” he called again.

Lucky spoke to his friends and after casting Elias another curious look they left him behind, entering back in to the school. Lucky turned, faced Elias, his eyes wide and full of questions. Elias walked around to the corner of the building, hoping Lucky followed. He didn’t want to do this in the open where everyone could see him.

Behind the building, he leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets and waited.

Lucky appeared, walking slowly, cautiously, until he stood about a foot away. “You.” His gaze roamed Elias’s face.

“Me.” Elias nodded. “Congratulations, Lucky Mousasi.”

“Why are you here?” The surprise in his gaze gave way to wariness. Good self-preservation there. “You stalking me or something?”

Elias laughed. “You wish I were stalking you, kid.”

Lucky crossed his arms over his chest. “So what, you just show up at my graduation and I don’t get to question it?”

“You can question it.” Elias couldn’t stop smiling. “You look…” He was going to say good, but maybe that wasn’t the best word. “Happy. You look happy, Lucky.”

Lucky flushed and looked away. “Yeah well. I’m graduating so, you know.” He waved a hand. “Freedom.”

“How have you been?”

“Okay. I guess.” Lucky looked down at his shoes and a lock of black hair fell into his eyes. Elias fisted his hands.

“So… College, huh?”

Lucky shrugged. “Dunno if I’m gonna go.” He licked his lips, eyes searching Elias’s face. “Don’t think it’s for me.”

“Really.” Elias watched him.

“Why do you look at me like that?” Lucky asked.

Elias blinked. “Like what?”

“Dunno. Like—” Lucky pursed his lips. “Like you’re trying to figure me out.”

“Maybe I am.”

Lucky snorted. His lips parted, but whatever he was getting ready to say was cut off by his blond male friend calling his name. Then he appeared around the corner, gaze lightening when he spotted Lucky.

“Be right there,” Lucky told him. The kid nodded then glanced at Elias before disappearing again.

“So…” Elias nodded at the space where the kid had been standing.

Lucky blushed and nodded. “That’s Michael. We—I—” He sighed then squared his shoulders, chin lifting as he said, “We’re kind of together.”

“Kind of or all the way?” He held Lucky’s gaze.

“We’re together.”

“Nice.”

Lucky rolled his eyes, but smiled. He had a dimple in his left cheek. Elias hadn’t noticed that before. “I gotta go.” He looked away then back at Elias. “Thanks for coming, old man.”

“Fuck you, kid.” But there was no heat. Just affection, more affection than Elias wanted to share. More than he should feel.

Lucky chuckled and started walking away then stopped suddenly. “My coach, remember I told you about him?”

Elias stiffened, but forced himself to relax. To nod. “Yeah.”

“He, uh. He killed himself. About a week after I— we met.” He watched Elias way too fucking close. “Left a note about having sex with underage boys.”

“Huh.”

Lucky chewed on his bottom lip. “Okay. This is going to sound weird, but… You didn’t have anything to do with that, did you?”

“What do you think?”

“I—” He lifted his shoulders. “It was just so out of the blue.”

“If your coach killed himself, how am I supposed to be involved?”

Lucky stared at him for three heartbeats then huffed out a laugh. “Yeah. That’s what I said, too. Sorry I asked.”

“No. Don’t apologize to me.” The words were harsher than Elias had intended them to be and Lucky’s eyes went wide. “Go. Enjoy yourself, Lucky.”

Lucky bit his lip and stared down at his feet. “Can I ask you something?”

It wasn’t as if Elias hadn’t expected the questions. “G’head.”

Lucky’s head jerked up. “Who are you? Why are you here, and why did you help me that night?”

Three questions. Elias could’ve made some stupid joke about it, but he chose to ignore that. “I’m no one special, Lucky. I was in the neighborhood that night. I saw you go in and not come out. I figured you were a homeless kid in need of help. It was cold. You had to be freezing. I helped.” The least he could do. The absolute least. “No big deal.”

“Except you’re here. Now.”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Well, that didn’t sound empty and weak at all.

Lucky’s expression said he didn’t believe the explanation either. “Is there a reason I can’t know your last name?”

Elias just regarded him steadily.

Lucky sighed. “Will I— Do I get to see you again?”

“Do you want to?”

“I think so.” His hazel eyes were direct and somber. “Yes. Yes, I want to.”

Elias nodded. “Then you will.”

“Okay.” Lucky still didn’t move. His gaze grew more intense, making the hairs on Elias’s nape stand and take note.

“What?” he asked softly.

“Um. Okay, feel free to say no—” His lips twitched. “But can I hug you?”

Elias fisted his hands at his sides. “Yes.”

And just like that Lucky Mousasi was in his arms. Elias grunted at the impact of Lucky’s body against his then unfurled his fist so he could wrap his arms around Lucky. So he could hold him.

Lucky gripped him way too tight, as if he feared Elias would slip from his hold.

“I don’t know why,” Lucky murmured. “But I dream of this and your voice, telling me everything is okay.”

Elias closed his eyes. 
When you fuck up, you do it thoroughly.

Lucky sniffed his neck. “And you smell…”

Elias fisted the back of Lucky’s shirt and pulled him away, not too far, but enough so he could look at Lucky’s face.

Fuck.

That was a mistake.

Lucky’s eyes were closed, his lips parted.

“Lucky.”

His eyes flew open, those gorgeous eyes killing Elias.

“Your boyfriend is waiting.”

Lucky blinked and blinked some more. His gaze dropped and his body went rigid. “Yeah. I—” He shuddered then jerked away from Elias. “Have to go.” He cleared his throat, gaze falling everywhere but on Elias.

“Go.”

“Th-thank you.” Lucky swallowed. “For coming today. For the-the hug.”

“Goodbye, Lucky Mousasi.”

He licked his lips. “Yeah. Bye.” Then he was gone.

Elias slumped against the wall. What the fuck? He shouldn’t have come. Shouldn’t have made contact with Lucky. Shouldn’t have let him… 
touch me
. Shouldn’t have done any of it.

He peered around the corner and caught sight of Lucky and his friend, Michael. They were holding hands.

“Who was that dude?”

He didn’t hear Lucky’s reply to his boyfriend’s question. As something hot twisted in his gut, he realized just as he’d thought he couldn’t get any more fucked, another layer got added to his list of sins.

Two years. Elias had prepared himself, but as he looked at the still figure dressed in a gray sweater, matching wool cap and tight black jeans, he realized he’d never be ready for this. He stood with his back against the side of the rental Jeep, arms crossed, ankles too, and watched.

It was early evening and the November air was chilly, but he didn’t feel that. Everything he had in him was focused on Lucky Mousasi where he sat in the yellow grass, lips moving as he talked to two headstones in the Oyster Bay cemetery. This was the most fucked up situation he’d ever willingly stepped into. He’d stayed away, for a number of reasons, but as Lucky stood, dusting off the grass from the seat of his pants, Elias had to struggle to remember why he’d banned himself from coming back here.

Lucky would want answers. He deserved answers, but those were the very things Elias could never give him. That… that was one of the reasons he went away and stayed away. The status quo couldn’t remain in place for much longer, but Elias would do anything to keep it from changing.

He could have come and went without visiting Lucky, without the younger man ever laying eyes on him. Elias couldn’t fight the urge though, to see Lucky, just once. He’d hurt him again, because the next day Elias had to travel to London then Japan, and wherever else his employer was headed next. It would definitely be a long time before he saw Lucky again after this. He couldn’t not take the time to just… be near him.

That night in the Mousasi house when they’d first met, Elias had stared into Lucky’s scared hazel eyes and knew he’d be his greatest mistake. That knowledge was the one that kept him running, risking his life, but it was the same knowledge that brought him here, watching Lucky talk to the parents he’d lost.

“Hey.”

He jerked his head up at the shout. Lucky was staring at him, face scrunched up, striding toward him. Elias stiffened his spine and braced himself. As Lucky drew closer their gazes locked. The younger man’s eyes were wide, disbelieving. He was… a sight. His heritage, African, French and Dutch showed on his lightly tanned skin and in his hair as a dark lock escaped the cap and flopped into his eyes. There was a hint of a scruff on his jaw. His nose was straight, his lips full, but it had always been his eyes.

Always his eyes that captivated Elias.

The closer Lucky got, the more anger replaced the shock in his eyes and once he stood within a breath of Elias, his expression was stormy.

Elias unfolded his arms and dropped his hands to his sides. “Lucky.”

Lucky’s nostrils flared. His mouth moved, but the words were slow in coming. “You’re— You’re here.” He lifted a hand, touched Elias’s jaw. “You’re here.”

“I’m here.” Elias nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat that formed at the tremor in Lucky’s voice.

Lucky punched him. “You son of a bitch!”

Elias blinked and grabbed his aching jaw. “What the hell was that for?” As if he didn’t know.

“It’s been years,” Lucky barked. “Years, Elias.” The pain in his eyes cut deep. “I’ve been waiting for answers.” He stepped back, furious gaze roaming Elias’s face. “Don’t you think you’ve made me wait long enough?”

He’d wait even longer for all the answers he sought, but Elias knew better than to tell Lucky that.

“I signed over the house,” Elias rasped, flexing his jaw. “Why haven’t you moved in?”

He’d dropped Lucky off that night and immediately went about dooming himself, buying the house out from the family who’d been mere days away from moving into what they’d considered their dream home. He’d paid them fifty thousand more than what they’d been prepared to hand over. All for this. To give Lucky back what he’d lost.

“Don’t ask me questions.” Lucky got in his face. “I ask the questions.” The scared teenager was long gone. In his place was a gorgeous man with fire in his eyes and a will of iron. Elias expected this. What he didn’t expect was how much he liked it. How much it made his blood… race.

Jesus, man. Way to compound your shit.

He cleared his throat and tore his gaze away. “What do you want to know, Lucky?” Lucky didn’t speak so Elias turned back to find Lucky staring at him, his eyes bright and shimmering. “Lucky.”

Lucky inhaled and closed his eyes. “Why?” he whispered. “Why did you help me that night, why did you do what you did?” His eyes flew open, holding Elias hostage. “I’m talking everything, from then to now. And why did you leave me?”

That last question pierced Elias’s chest and hurt the most. And it hurt too, for him to say, “It doesn’t matter why.”

Lucky’s lips tightened, but he didn’t look away.

“You needed help, so I helped. I told you that.” Jesus, this shit was impossible to navigate without him feeling so… off. “It was no big deal. I also recall telling you that.”

Lucky’s head jerked up, his gaze sharpening. “Really.”

“I’d have done it for anyone.”

“Why do it for me?” When Elias didn’t respond, Lucky stepped up to him and put a hand on his chest.

Elias bit back a groan as Lucky’s warmth sank into his blood.

“You needed it.” Which was a roundabout way of saying Elias needed it.

Lucky cocked his head. “Who am I to you?”

“No one.” Lucky flinched, and Elias rephrased the lies. “I just wanted you to be safe, Lucky. To not be afraid.”

Lucky’s mouth twisted. “You find a scared runaway in an abandoned house and you appoint yourself what, guardian? You buy the house and sign it over to me, no muss no fuss—”

“Which you refuse to take ownership of.”

Lucky shrugged. “Maybe I don’t want the house. Ever think about that? But you don’t stick around long enough to know.” His gaze and tone was accusatory. “You do all this and you want me to believe I’m nothing to you?”

Elias chose to hold his peace on that one

“If I were any other stray kid, squatting in that place, would I have gotten the same treatment? Something tells me no, I’m just the special one.” But his tone was bitter, sad.

He was right, of course.

“Who are you?” Lucky asked softly. “I don’t even know your last name. I know nothing about you except for your first name, if that’s even real.”

“It’s real.”

“But it’s the only thing, right, Elias?” There was an extra bite in the way Lucky said his name. “It’s the only thing that’s true. Well, that and your eyes. They haunt me.”

“I’m sorry.”

The corners of Lucky’s mouth tipped up, but his eyes were heavy, full of shadowed sadness. “Do you think of me like I think of you?”

Jesus. How was he supposed to answer that and still keep the distance that was required between them? “How—” His voice cracked. “How do you think of me?”

Lucky fisted his right hand and stared down at it for a long time before he brought his gaze back to Elias’s. “Safety. Warmth.” He pursed his lips. “Familiar and right. That’s what I think when I think of you.”

Elias swallowed. “That’s-that’s good. I helped you so you’re grateful and—”

“And I will punch you in the face again if you continue to spout that shit.” A furious Lucky grabbed the front of Elias’s jacket and yanked him forward until they were nose to nose. “Grateful, you fucking ass, is the last thing I feel. I am not grateful. I could’ve done without all of the shit over the years.” He paused, eyes softening, and Elias stared into them, getting lost in all that feeling. “I didn’t want any of it. I wanted you. I want to know that I haunted you the way you haunted me.”

Elias held his gaze, but didn’t speak.

“Who are you? What do you do? Why won’t you ever stick around long enough for me to find that out?”

He wasn’t going to answer any of that. No way he could. Elias reached out and touched Lucky’s fist. “Lucky.”

Lucky must’ve heard the apology in his voice because he stepped back swiftly. “It’s because of my age, isn’t it?”

“I can’t—” Elias scrubbed a hand over his face. Lucky’s age was one in a very long list of why nots. “Let’s not do this, please.”

Lucky wrenched away and gave Elias his back. “I’ve waited, did you know that? I’m guessing no.” He started walking away and Elias grabbed his hand, stalling him.

“What do you mean, waited for what?”

Lucky didn’t answer.

Elias sighed and tugged on his arm. “Come with me,” he begged softly. “Let’s go for a drive.”

Lucky didn’t speak or turn to face him.

“Please, Lucky.”

He yanked away from Elias and marched back toward the Jeep, getting in the front passenger seat. Elias got into the driver’s side and sat there, gripping the steering wheel with both hands.

“How did you get to the cemetery?”

Lucky lifted a shoulder, gaze straight ahead. “A friend gave me a ride.”

“Are they coming back to get you? Why didn’t you buy a car?”

“I grab a cab, and I don’t want to discuss it.” He folded his arms and leaned back. “Aren’t we supposed to be going for a drive? It’s getting dark.”

“Do you have a curfew?” The words flew from Elias’s mouth before he could stop it. He started the vehicle and spared Lucky a glance.

His face was a sullen mask.

“Lucky, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” Lucky nodded. “You do that a lot. Apologize. I wish I knew what you were sorry for or why.”

Elias shut his trap and did the rest of the driving in strained silence. Try as he did, he couldn’t ignore Lucky’s presence, the warmth from his body that flowed into Elias. He was too young. He couldn’t be involved in this any more than he already was. Elias couldn’t afford the weakness Lucky inspired in him. All of that played on a loop in Elias’s mind and he clung to it, reminding himself, too, of the consequences that would come if he allowed Lucky to burrow much deeper under his skin.

He pulled up in front of the Mousasi house, and Lucky turned to him.

“Why are we here?”

“Thought we could talk somewhere private.”

Lucky looked away, staring at the house. “What is there to talk about? I’m the kid you rescued one cold night. And you’re— You’re the man I never see. Except for when I do see you.”

“Fuck.” Elias rubbed his forehead. “Just get in the Goddamn house, Lucky.” He didn’t wait, climbing out and walking up to the house. The security code remained the same since he’d programmed it so he punched that in and pushed the door open.

The place was dark, though he knew the utilities were on. The air was musky which was expected since the house remained locked up. It was clean, though. And empty. Well, except for the large air mattress in the middle of the living room, and the burgundy blankets.

Footsteps followed him as he walked from room to room, turning on the lights as he went.

“You sleep here?”

“Sometimes when I need to…be by myself.”

He’d moved into an apartment with two other roommates in Jersey, Elias knew. He still couldn’t figure out why, when Lucky had this massive house sitting here in Long Island, empty.

In the kitchen he leaned against the countertop and faced Lucky. “Are you hungry?” he asked. “We can get something.”

Lucky stood in the doorway and shook his head. “I’m fine. I want to know why we’re here.”

Because Lucky was happy when he was in this house, and Elias wanted to see him happy. “I leave tomorrow,” he said hoarsely. “And I wanted—I want to spend tonight with you.”

Lucky pushed away from the doorway and walked over to him. He stood in front of Elias. “You leave tomorrow.”

“Yes.”

“Where are you going?”

“Away.” Elias waved a hand. “Just… away.”

Lucky snorted, shaking his head. “Of course.” He barked a laugh. “Why did I expect this to be different?” He yanked the wool cap off his head and tossed it onto the counter. “You should leave now. Why don’t you leave now?”

“I can’t stay with you.” Elias touched his shoulder. “I can’t be who you want, give you what you want. I can’t, Lucky.”

He pursed his lips. “Do you have a family? A wife, girlfriend, children, somewhere out there?”

“No.” Elias cupped Lucky’s jaw, staring him in the eye. “I have nothing and no one out there. It’s just work. It’s a job that I have to do.”

“What kind of job?”

“I can’t talk about this.”

“Because it’s illegal? Because you’re doing something wrong?”

“I want you happy, Lucky.” And alive. And he’d go wherever he needed to go, be and do whatever to make that happen. It wasn’t as complicated as it might appear.

“But I’m not happy,” Lucky lashed out. “I’m not. Please.” He moved in closer, gaze seeking, pleading. “Don’t do this. Don’t leave me again.”

“I can’t.” And this time the agony Elias felt couldn’t be contained. “Lucky, I can’t.”

Defeat washed over Lucky’s features. He glanced away then back to Elias. “When you go where you go, and do what you do, are you— do you spend time with other people?”

“Yes.”

“Women?”

“Yes, but—”

“Men?” Lucky closed his eyes.

“Yes. Lucky, look at me.” When Lucky reopened red-rimmed eyes, Elias touched him, the slide of one finger down the bridge of his nose. “It means nothing. They mean nothing.”