Ruthlessly His (6 page)

“You know,” he says, glaring.

“You don’t get to doubt us and then get some.”

“I get whatever I want,” he says, going for my neck again. I push him and hold him against the stall.

“You get whatever I give to you,” I say, and Leo starts taking deep breaths. He tries to push back against me but I’m leaning into it with my weight. He can’t move.

“Let me kiss you,” he begs.

“Maybe I don’t want to be kissed,” I snarl. “Maybe I want you to listen to me.”

Leo grabs my cock through my pants and squeezes it. “You act tough but you’re just as weak as me,” he says, and licks his lips. “I want your cock in my mouth. Are you going to deny me that? Are you going to deny yourself?”

I don’t know what I want anymore. I’m aching for him. Our hard bodies are rubbing against each other. Someone else comes into the bathroom and walks over to the urinal. I give Leo a look, daring him to make a sound. He bites his lip and tries to breath a little quieter. The bathroom guy whistles as he pees and goes to wash his hands. Leo starts rubbing my crotch and pushing up against my body. The man in the bathroom finds the dryer, and it drowns everything out. Leo’s eyes are screaming: fuck me.

Leo unzips my pants and drops to his knees. He looks up with eager puppy eyes. We hear the bathroom door shut. Leo says, “Give me your cock, please,” and bites his lip again. His tongue is out, ready for me.

I ease my cock out of my trousers. Leo starts sucking at the base of the shaft. I pull down my pants more and he holds my balls in his hands and starts kissing them. We hear someone walking around the bathroom. Shit, I thought it was empty. Leo stares up at me with his lips around the head of my cock.

A voice says, “We don't want any dealers in here. This is a five-star restaurant.” Leo spits out my cock and covers his mouth, about to laugh.

“No problem,” I call out to the guy. He grumbles something and leaves. “That was too close,” I say, stuffing everything back into my trousers.

“Hey,” Leo says. “I didn’t get my cum.” He yanks my pants back down and before I can stop him, he starts sucking again, and I’m powerless. I move my hand to the back of his head to feel his soft blonde hair between my fingers. I grab tufts of it and pull his head back. He sucks on the head and licks around the line where my foreskin begins. This tickles my cock and makes it tense up as he keeps circling it.

Leo gently squeezes my balls and jerks me into his mouth. He’s clearly in a hurry for
my cum. The thought of him licking it all off his lips in a public bathroom is almost enough to send me over the edge. But, the prettiest of mouths only deserves the largest of loads, so I hold back and enjoy the show. He bobs up and down, his tongue working up and down my shaft. He’s slurping and sucking, jerking slow and fast. He starts making little noises, begging me to cum. His own cock is pointing up his stomach, it must have popped out of his trousers. It’s twitching as he moans.

I steady myself against the stall, Leo’s sucking is getting too much and I’ve for sure lost control of my orgasm. Now, it belongs to him. My cock hardens that extra bit more and Leo looks up
at me, mouth open and his tongue on the tip. He uses both hands to give me a handjob right onto his tongue. I cum hard, most of it hitting his tongue and the rest landing all over his pretty face. My orgasm seems to last forever. Leo massages my penis. My whole body feels all fuzzy. Leo keeps on sucking and squeezing my cock from the base to the tip, getting each drop into his mouth. As everything starts to turn sensitive, he gets more gentle, using the very tip of his tongue and his fingers to hold my cock like it’s precious. Leo snuggles his face into the side of my cock and kisses my balls. “I’m addicted to it,” he says. “I would do this five times a day if I could.”

We wander back to our table, probably looking like we’ve just got high. Whenever I cum inside Leo, I feel a sort-of ownership over him—in a really sweet, innocent way. Like I’ve claimed him.

We sit down and finish off the food that we had left over. As well as giving me a very nice fuzzy feeling, sex also makes me incredibly hungry. “We still have our problems,” Leo says.

“Well, everyone has problems. It’s how you deal with them that counts,” I say.

The restaurant starts to empty. We feel lazy and aren’t in any rush. An Asian waiter comes over to ask if we need anything else. He frowns at us. He must have been the one in the bathroom. I wonder if he thinks we’re high right now. Orgasms do tend to make me feel a little sleepy. My cock still hasn’t shrunk down all the way either. It’s a little uncomfortable in my pants

A waitress drops by with the check. Leo reaches for his bag and says, “This one is on me. You pay for enough things.”

“I am silently protesting this and want it to be noted.”

“It is noted,” he says, searching under the table for his bag. “I can’t find it.”

“Where did you leave it?” I ask. “Under the table?”

“Yeah, for sure,” he says, a little more panicked this time.

I move my feet to look under, and there’s nothing there.

I call the waitress over and ask if she’s seen it. “Sorry guys, I haven’t seen anything.” The waitress tilts her head sympathetically at us.

“I’ll pay. Leo, I think there’s a police station down the street. Let’s go report it,” I say.

“Yeah, like that will work,” he says.

“Come on,” I say, and drag him out by his hand.

The police station takes a position similar to Leo, in that, it seems extremely unlikely for the bag to be recovered. We leave with a case number and a lingering frustration.

“Fuck,” Leo says.

“That really sucks, I’m so sorry,” I say. The evening has taken a sour turn.

“
Goddamnit,” he says.

“Come on, let’s go for a midnight walk to take your mind off it.” I nudge him and take him towards Central Park. I take his hand and squeeze it. “Did you lose anything important?”

“Yeah, my camera and a spare lens. It’s covered by insurance but it meant so much to me. Fuck having to deal with that crap.”

“Yeah.”

Then Leo stops dead in his tracks. “Fuck,” he says again, his face turning completely white. “The pictures of you are on there—the ones we took when we first met.”

“The naked ones?” I ask. “You didn’t delete them?”

He shakes his head. “Shit, Colt. You’re on ESPN every other week, someone will notice you in the photographs.”

“Do thieves like sports?” I ask stupidly, already not thinking straight at all.

“How the hell do I know? But with the level you're at in your field, this isn't good,” he says.

“Are you sure the
pics of me were in that camera?” I ask desperately.

Leo lowers his head. "I'm sure, Colt."

“Shit, Leo! Why did you not delete those photos?”

“They were so hot, I had to keep them,” he says. "It's not my fault some asshole robbed my stuff."

“Shit.”

“Maybe nothing will happen,” he says.

“Maybe?” I ask. “Maybe everything just went to absolute shit and my life is over.”

“You’re being dramatic,” he says.

“I’m really not. You don’t understand. You can’t.” I stop walking under a lamppost and look across at a skyscraper, the lights at the top of it are turning off one-by-one.

“Let’s go back to my flat,” Leo says and hugs my side.

“To do what?” I ask.

“Jeez, Colt. You need to, like, chill out.”

“My life might be fucking over. I can’t just ‘chill out’.”

“Come on,” he says. “You need to sleep so you can process this. You’ve had a long day.”

Leo drags me back to his flat. I’m inconsolable. I think about Nancy and the things she’ll say. Fuck her. And what about Maria? I really, really don’t know what to do or who to call. Leo turns on the TV, and
it’s on ESPN; oh joy, they’re doing a special on the upcoming college football season and my face is in the top right corner of the screen. “Fuck,” Leo says, and changes the channel. “Let’s get you in bed.” He pushes me towards the bed, and I fall in.

“This is your fault,” I say. “This is all your fault. I told you we had to be careful. But you didn’t listen.”

“You don’t mean that,” he says, and hands me a white pill from an orange bottle.

“Now you’re trying to drug me?”

“It’s a Xanax. You need it.” Leo puts my hand to my mouth and I swallow it. He takes my clothes off for me and then lays down next to me, stroking my hair and cooing to me. “It’s okay,” he says. “We will solve this.” Leo’s room seems to get warmer, and as it does, my head becomes heavier. Leo’s fingers trace around my neck and ears, making my skin tingle. The pictures will leak. I’m fucked.

Leo wakes me up with a coffee. There are a few seconds where I entirely forget that there are pictures of my naked body floating around and possibly being leaked to the press at this very moment. “I need to leave,” I say.

“What?” Leo asks, “Don’t you want to be with me?”

“This problem is bigger than us,” I say.

“That feels like total shit to hear,” he says.

“It’s my life that we’re talking about.”

“And don’t I fit into your life?”

“You do but—”

“But what?” he asks, and crosses his arms.

“I’ve just got to go, okay?” I say, and leave his flat, wishing I were still asleep, or perhaps, still under the effects of that Xanax, feeling Leo’s lovely fingers trace across my head.

* * *

I ride the train out of Penn Station. I’ve got work this afternoon, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to look anyone in the face. It’s not that I feel ashamed; it’s just that everyone else will expect me to feel ashamed and it sucks. I used to love riding into Cold Spring—when the buildings start disappearing and the countryside slowly takes over the view. Now I just have thoughts of riding away from Leo.

I call up the university administration and tell them that I need to meet with our PR guy. They sound worried on the phone and ask what it is regarding. I lie and say it’s for a standing appointment. I’ll go and see him after practice. I don’t know what will happen, but there’s one thing I know for sure... With all these celebrity leaks, if there are naked pictures out there, they always end up in the worst hands.

* * *

Practice starts as I arrive. On my way in, I spot two sports reporters trying to take pictures of me and my players as we all arrive. This is supposed to be our best year yet; that’s why they’re here. We’ve got the right talent and the coaches to really do something special. My mind is elsewhere, with Leo and the photos. Some of my scouts have reports for me, and I go over some strategies with our starting team. As hard as I try, I can’t fucking focus. “Come on, Jackson,” I call out and clap at my quarterback.

I stand on the sidelines and watch the assistant coaches take the offensive lineup through some drills. Our first match is in a week. I check my phone to see if I have anything from Leo but there’s nothing. I think about texting him and then catch myself. I’m furious at him, why should I reach out and speak to him? I yell out to some players who are slacking at the back of the pack. I’ve been into football for as long as I can remember, and now there’s something that could take this
all away. Will the university back me up?

* * *

The administration building is so quiet. Some of the walls are made up of rough carpet, and I run my fingers along them on the way to my meeting. I knock on the guy’s door and enter.

“Hi there,” I say, and shake his hand. He’s overweight and balding a little. The smile he gives me is wide and fake.

“I'm Trevor. Now, what can I do for you?” he asks and motions for me to sit down.

“There might be a personal issue, incoming,” I say.

He cocks his head. “I don’t quite follow.”

“Something might leak to the press.”

“I understand,” he says and makes his fingers into a steeple beneath his chin. “Go on.”

“A personal matter,” I say, still not finding the words.

“An affair?” he offers. “We dealt with an affair last year, the soccer coach strayed from his marriage. I’m sure you remember.”

“Something like that,” I say.

“So there are photos of you and this woman? Taken by someone?”

“Yeah, like that,” I say.

“I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me here. It’s the only way to protect you and the university.”

I nod, and scratch at my face. Trevor doesn’t say anything. He just keeps waiting for me to speak. I think about Leo’s face. I wonder what he’s doing at this exact moment. He said we would fix this. Trevor still hasn’t spoken. He must be doing some kind of bullshit power technique. I start to think that perhaps Trevor doesn’t have my best interests in mind. His shirt has the university emblem on the pocket. I stare at it, and then stand up. “I think,” I say. “That on second thoughts, the matter is resolved. Thank you for seeing me.”

He catches me by the door. “I know it can seem scary,” he says. “But if you explain to me everything that’s happened, then the university can take action and no one will get in trouble.”