Ryder's Redemption (Badboy Rockers #2) (9 page)

ELEVEN

Ryder

Curtis is staring at me.

He’s been watching me the same way my mom had watched me those last weeks before she kicked me out of the house.

He knows I’m using.

Feeling like the bastard at the family picnic, I lie flat on my back on the dock and close my eyes. Trust me, I’d much rather be taking in the view of all the hot chicks at the lake parading around in their bikinis. Ange’s body surprises me the most, I think. She has the tightest butt I’ve ever seen, and curves in all the right places.

Too bad I make her squirm. And here, for whatever reason, I had thought we’d made a connection.

Even now she’s gone to the opposite side of the dock to get away from me. I hear her laughter, and I have to smile to myself. The girl is a bit contagious. I can see why Kenzie considers her such a good friend.

“You going to make practice tonight, Ryder?”

I open my eyes and squint at Brooke. I’m so not buying it. I know why she’s asking me a question. I have five sets of eyes on me now. One of those sets of eyes is my best friend. Deklan sucks the lip ring into his mouth and chews on it as everyone waits for my response.

Everyone is watching me too closely. I can hardly wait to get back to land and put my sunglasses back on.

Big fucking mistake not to bring them with me out here, especially with the newly converted. Recovering addicts were the worst when it came to pointing the finger. I had to constantly bite my tongue, especially around Curtis. Everywhere I looked around the house there was some self-help book about addiction. Good for him for celebrating his sobriety and all that, but damn, I found it all so…exhausting.

It’s like none of them remember the day when we all got high together, which wasn’t very long ago.

Judge away, you hypocritical motherfuckers
. The words were so close to coming out, but I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself in check.

Now I felt like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

“Yeah, of course,” I say. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

I rest my head back on the wood planking and ignore their gazes. I can’t resist though—and I pop one eye open.

They’re all looking away, except for Deklan.

He’s the one person I don’t want to disappoint. The only guy who believes in me, even more than I believe in myself.

Not that I believe in myself. I know I’m fucking weak.

I could have been two weeks clean today, but now I’m back to square one.

I’m such an idiot.

My heart continues to pound. If Deklan kicks me out of the house, then I have absolutely nowhere to go. Well, my grandparents might take me back, even after I was such an asshole to them. The small town they lived in was okay for retirees, but it was no place for me.

After a few silent minutes I hear a familiar voice.

“Hey guys.”

Mr. Star Athlete is pulling his chiseled body up and onto the dock. He’s alone, and his smile is directed at only one person.

And Ange is beaming as Cole takes a seat beside her. He’s the biggest guy at the lake, and he knows it. I’m sure he spends at least three hours a day at the gym, and I’d bet a month’s pay he takes performance-enhancing drugs.

I’ve heard Kenzie bitch about her brother to Deklan. I wonder how she feels about him hitting on her best friend?

I sit up on my elbows and watch little Miss Priss turn into a gushy ball of nervous energy in Cole’s presence.

The conversation quickly turns to football and Cole’s strenuous workouts to prepare for the upcoming season. He even has to fly to Seattle on Wednesday to take care of business, he says, chest all puffed out with self-importance.

I want to roll my eyes as he continues talking about himself.

In ten minutes he doesn’t ask a single question about her. I bet if we were quizzed, I might know more about his sister’s best friend than he does.

Ange asks Cole about someone named Nadia and I grin inwardly.

There’s a jealous tone in her voice that’s impossible not to mistake.

“She’s Greg’s friend,” he says.

“Seems like she’s
your
friend.”

He laughs under his breath. “I swear to you—”

“Liar,” Brooke chimes in. “That chick is all over your ass.”

“Come on now…she’s been dating Greg.”

Cole motions toward the air mattress. “You want to go for a swim, Ange? You don’t mind if I borrow your mattress, do you, Kenz?”

“It’s Curtis’s mattress,” Kenzie says.

Cole glances at Curtis, who replies, “Go for it, bro.”

Ange’s eyes widen in surprise. Why is she so stunned that he’s asking her to go for a swim with him? I’ve heard the ten year-old boys behind us talk about how smoking hot our girls are.

Seconds later the two are floating by themselves, chatting it up and laughing.

“So how long have your brother and best friend been hitting it?” I ask, and my voice has an edge to it that shocks me.

Kenzie’s brows furrow. “They’re not
hitting
it.”

I snort. “Could have fooled me.”

“No way.” She’s shaking her head.

“Yeah, it is pretty obvious,” Brooke says, and I’m glad that at least one of my friends has my back. “She’s been staring at him all afternoon, and she was getting jealous of that leggy chick.”

I’m sure it’s the drugs in me, but I am seriously tempted to swim out to Ange again and get in between her and lover boy. Instead, I’m forced to watch under lowered lids. Cole is pulling the air mattress closer to him with every minute that passes.

It might have just been a trick of the light, but I swear he kissed her once. She must have been nervous because she looks our way, a guilty expression on her face.

Kenzie is watching, too. Her body language says she’s not too sure about this.

“Girlfriend might be tapping big bro’s ass,” Brooke whispers loudly, and Kenzie frowns.

“No, I don’t think so. Ange isn’t interested in Cole. He’s like a big brother to her…”

I have to bite my lip to refrain from saying anything more. Clearly Kenzie is in denial about the extent of her brother and her best friend’s relationship.

“Interested in what?” I prompt. “In sex? Are you sure about that?”

Kenzie presses her lips together. “No way.”

I can tell by Kenzie’s expression that Ange is just as innocent as I thought. She was stubborn enough to put any guy in their place, but she liked Cole.

Brooke puts her hair up in a topknot. “I could tell the first time I saw the two in the same room.”

“Me, too,” Curtis says.

Kenzie looks at Deklan for confirmation.

Deklan shrugs. “I don’t know, babe. If I had to guess, I’d say they liked each other.”

Not for long
, I think to myself as Ange laughs loudly at something Cole said to her.

“Cole doesn’t look at Ange in that way.” It’s obvious to everyone that Kenzie’s struggling with the information as she watches the two closely.

Ange

I’m aware of the silence that follows me as I slide off the raft and walk up the beach.

The others have all made their way to shore and are watching me closely, especially Ryder. He’s smiling, and yet there’s something in his stare that makes me think he might be mad at me.

Yeah, I was being a bit of a bitch about the raft thing. He’d just been trying to tease me. The last thing I remember is him pushing me off my raft and taking it away from me, so why is he being a dick? All I did was splash him…and act like a baby after he’d dunked me.

Oh, wait a second, I’m talking about Ryder.

The asshole who always gets his way with everyone.

“You ready to go?” Kenzie asks me. Her tone is cool as her gaze shifts to Cole.

“How about a quick game of Frisbee?” Cole offers.

Deklan hesitates, but Ryder steps forward. “Sure.”

The guys head off to play Frisbee. Kenzie, Brooke, and I linger behind and sit beneath the shade of an oak tree.

Brooke pulls out a bottle of bright red nail polish from her purse and shakes it before she starts painting her toes.

She’s unusually quiet.

The boys start a four-way game of Frisbee. Cole’s already getting fancy throws in. Curtis is a little awkward and the Frisbee slips from his fingers like the disk is smothered in grease.

I glance at Brooke and she’s smirking…that is, until Curtis glances her way and she flashes him a thumb’s up and a reassuring grin.

Deklan makes it look easy, and Kenzie is brimming over with pride. There is a growing crowd of girls circling around, Nadia being one of them, checking out the newbies with interest.

Kenzie is well aware of the extra attention on her man, and she doesn’t hesitate to throw in a “babe” when she yells out in a show of support.

I’m stunned that Ryder hasn’t paid much attention to the new arrivals. Instead, his focus is on the Frisbee. He’s dropped it a few times. Cole hasn’t faltered once. His prowess as a quarterback is obvious to everyone around.

If Nadia claps one more time when any of the guys does a fancy move, I’m going to wring her neck.

When Curtis drops the Frisbee yet again, one of the girls nearby laughs and Brooke glances her way. “Shut the fuck up,” she says loud enough for them to hear.

The girl’s eyes widen, and she instantly gets up and heads for the bathroom.

Brooke stands. “I’ll be right back.”

Reaching up, Kenzie takes her cousin’s hand. “Oh no you don’t.”

“What? I need to go to the bathroom.” Brooke’s voice is hardly convincing.

“Sit your ass down. We don’t need to be restricted from this park.”

Brooke slowly sits down.

Deklan is out after one more round.

Kenzie slides her arms around his neck and he lifts her up off her feet. Nadia and friends are watching every second and I smile inwardly.

Take that, bitches!

Curtis is headed our way.

And then there were two.

Save yourself
, I want to yell to Ryder, but it’s clear to everyone that he’s determined to beat Cole.

Unfortunately, with every throw he grows more nervous and fumbles more often.

“He’s using,” Curtis says matter-of-factly and my stomach tightens.

Deklan flinches and frowns at Curtis. “You don’t know that.”

“It’s pretty obvious,” Brooke replies, screwing the nail polish lid on and tossing it in her bag. “I’ve been around Ryder long enough to know when he’s straight and when he’s high. He’s high.”

I swallowed hard, feeling uncomfortable to be part of the conversation. I didn’t know Ryder before, so I couldn’t comment either way. His behavior had seemed pretty much the same since I’d first met him.

Deklan runs a hand through his hair and sucks the lip ring into his mouth and chews on it.

I remember Kenzie always telling me he had the cutest habit of doing that when he was thinking or worried about something. She wasn’t kidding.

“Time to have a talk with him,” Curtis says, clapping Deklan on the back.

Silence follows Curtis’s statement, and Deklan stares at his best friend.

Ryder throws the Frisbee extra hard at Cole, and it hits him in the chest. Cole immediately recovers. He returns the Frisbee. It hits Ryder in the head.

“Fucking prick,” Ryder says, and he’s furious.

“Dude, we need to go!” Deklan practically barks the command and picks up the cooler.

I meet Kenzie’s gaze and we both lift our brows.

Cole’s grinning triumphantly from ear to ear, and I feel a moment of pity for Ryder. Kenzie told me about her short foray into using prescription drugs, and how for that time she felt controlled by her need to be numb and disappear.

Is that how Ryder feels? Like he wants to disappear? Instead of being grossed out, I feel empathy for him. Why does he feel like he would rather be high than experience life? I had never been high a day in my life, nor did I plan to be, but I had watched enough afterschool specials and attended enough assemblies to know I didn’t want to go down that path.

We quickly pack up and Cole heads our way.

“Kenzie, are you heading out?” he asks.

“Yeah,” she says. “You?”

“In a few. Tell Mom I’ll be home by seven.”

She nods and then looks directly at me. “You want to ride with Cole, Ange?”

My cheeks burn.

“You can…if you want to,” Cole says, and I feel awkward because I can’t really tell if he actually wants me to hang out or not. I just hate how Kenzie put me on the spot. She doesn’t seem pissed, just confused.

“I’ll ride with you,” I say to Kenzie. I start walking toward the parking lot. I’m mortified and a little pissed by Cole’s lack of excitement to be alone with me.  I glance over my shoulder to see Nadia, standing alone, lingering by the volleyball net.

Kenzie catches up with me and puts a hand around my elbow. “You like my brother, Ange.”

It’s not a question. It’s more like she’s stating a fact.

“I think he’s hot, just like every other girl on the planet.”

She adjusts the purse strap on her arm. “How come I didn’t see it before now?”

“You’re totally overreacting. I think Cole’s cute, and we’ve been spending a little time getting to know each other. Christ, we’re not dating.” I’m getting snappy again and I have to wonder why. If I had a brother and Kenzie was fooling around with him without me knowing it, would I be pissed?

Maybe…

“Am I overreacting?”

I nod. “Does it bother you to think that I’d date him?” I steady myself for her answer.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Ange. You know how he is. He’s a bit of a player. He tells me about all the hot chicks around at school.”

The words cut like a knife but I won’t let her know that. She’s not telling me this to hurt me. She’s just doing her best to protect me. She knows her brother better than anyone.

“You’re my best friend and I don’t want anything to ever come between us.”

I release the breath I’d unconsciously been holding. “I know, Kenz. I completely understand.”

I force a smile I don’t feel. “Seriously, we’re not dating or anything. We’re just friends.”

“You heading over to the boy’s house?” Brooke asks, effectively ending the conversation and I’m glad. I guess I had never expected Kenzie to be unhappy about me seeing her brother.

I won’t lie…it stings a little.

I look at Kenzie. “Does your mom expect us home for dinner?”

Kenzie pulls her cell from her pocket and checks the time. “I can call and put her off for a bit. Or maybe tell her we’ll do our own thing. I think she actually likes it when we do that. Then she doesn’t have to worry about cooking.” She glances at me. “What do you want to do?”

“I’m down for going by the boy’s place for a bit.”

I could tell by her relieved smile that it was the answer she was hoping for.

For now, I was going to put a little bit of space between me and Cole.