Sacrifice (Absent Shadows Trilogy Book 2) (15 page)

I’d nearly forgotten, but of course Mom would be expecting us soon—I really did need to book our flights. ‘Well, if you’re sure you want to?’ I finally said.

‘I couldn’t be any surer,’ he said, kissing my forehead,

My whole body tingled with joy. Our life together mightn’t be what everyone called normal, but it could still be perfect. We’d make it perfect.

‘Alright, it’s a date,’ I finally answered.

‘Great,’ he said, then turned to Crystal. ‘Looks like you’re on duty tonight. I’m taking my girl home to get changed, and we’re going out. We’ve been apart too long and I want to spend the whole night with her.’

Sam laughed, and I knew everything was going to be fine. We’d have a night out—dinner and maybe even dancing—and then I’d sleep in my own bed, next to my husband. Everything would be perfect. No, everything was already perfect, because he was perfect.

~~***~~

It was amazing how therapeutic that one evening turned out to be. I was sure that Sam enjoyed it as much as I did. I think it made him realise there was more to life than patrolling the streets looking for errant vampires. I could see it in his smile. And then of course, there was the fact that he told me he was going to speak to Michael about having at least a couple of evenings at home each week from now on. After all, it wasn’t like things were out of control—Michael and Tom would be fine on their own.

And although Sam was a bit reluctant at first, he understood when I said I needed to start running again. I’d missed it terribly when he didn’t want me in the gardens on my own—it was such a part of me, and so effective at settling my mind. And so I started running again. And I did feel better. In fact, I felt stronger—strong enough to handle anything.

Flagstaff Gardens became my friend again—my sanctuary. Some days I’d sit and chat with Elizabeth. And some days Henry would join us. But even if neither of them turned up, the trees and the flowers and the crushed rock paths and the grass were all there, and they too were my friends. I seemed to be able to breathe better when I spent time there. Did that sound nuts?

But I still had time on my hands. There were no meals to cook, so the little shopping I did for myself took no time. And Tom and Sam were amazingly self-sufficient around the house—they were tidy, and even did most of their own laundry. My job at The Cauldron helped, but it wasn’t enough. Claire was in California, Debs had her own life. And Crystal, well as much as she was a good friend, I felt it wasn’t fair for me to lean too heavily on her either. I needed something of my own to occupy my time and energy.

I thought more about the ghosts that I’d seen Elizabeth help send home. And I thought about how hopeful I’d been when I tried to help Rachel—hoping I was helping her in the same way. And I wondered if maybe I really should take some psychology courses. Would that have given me better insight into Rachel’s true intentions? I decided I’d get onto the internet and research where I could go to get a degree in psychology, and how long that might take. It would certainly make Mom happy. And maybe it would make me happy too. I started feeling better just thinking about it—taking the first step toward change.

~~***~~

When Claire arrived for a two week break, I felt my spirits being lifted even further. Although she did have her family and other friends to catch up with, she spent quite a bit of the time with Tom. And that often included Sam and me.

Tonight we were bowling. We’d been a couple of times before, and the boys had really taken to it, and I didn’t mind although I still wasn’t any good.

When I went up to the snack bar for a drink, Claire came with me.

‘You’re so lucky. Sam really loves you, you know. To think that he asked you to marry him because he just couldn’t bear the thought of you leaving to go back to California. That’s just so romantic. I wish Tom felt that way about me.’

She turned to look back over toward Tom, then let out a deep sigh.

‘Look,’ I said, wanting to lift her spirits, ‘Tom cares about you, more than you realise. You should see the way he mopes around when you’re not here. The day you were arriving he was pacing back and forth like a trapped animal or something. And since you’ve been here, he can barely wipe that silly grin off his face!’

‘Really? Do you think he loves me as much as Sam loves you?’ She turned back to me, desperation written all over her face.

‘Sure. I mean, I’d say so.’

‘And so … I mean, do you
know
anything? Like maybe something you’ve been sworn to secrecy about?’

‘Sorry, afraid not. Tom doesn’t confide in me.’

‘Bummer. I was hoping he’d said something … given you some clue,’ she said, pouting.

‘Hey, you’ve got to remember, he’s nowhere near as serious a person as Sam. You know that. That’s probably what attracted you to him in the first place. He’s not necessarily going to follow in Sam’s footsteps.’

‘True. Sam is much more serious, although he seems to be having fun tonight.’

We both turned and looked at the boys. They were, indeed, having fun.

‘Yes, he does. But with Tom, I’d say just enjoy your time here with him. Then go back to school and forget about him. I mean, who knows, you might even meet another Gerald,’ I said, struggling to keep a straight face.

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah … point taken,’ she laughed.

‘Well, I’d be willing to bet Tom will be waiting just as anxiously for you to arrive in July as he was this time.’

‘I hope so. And yeah, you’re right—if he was all serious like Sam I probably wouldn’t have fallen for him. So, we’ll just have to see what happens in July, eh?’

~~***~~

We had two more nights out with Claire and Tom—a movie one night, and dancing the other. I was sad to see her leave to go back to California—I knew I’d miss her company.

March would be over soon, and the days were already starting to get shorter. Daylight savings would finish at the end of the month and the clocks would be turned back, and then it wouldn’t be long before it would be dark at five-thirty. The thought was depressing. Where had the time gone?

I suddenly had this terrible thought. I hadn’t seen Debs and Ian for weeks. Between having Henry, and then with Claire’s visit. I sat down with a calendar and worked out that it had been almost two months since I’d last seen them.

I quickly rang Debs thinking I might drop in to see them, but she said they were busy packing up the apartment, getting ready to leave for a six month stay in Paris.

‘Oh my god! Six months in Paris? Really? Like … wow. How come?’

‘Ian applied for a research position at a hospital in France—and he got it. So of course I’m going with him. We’re leaving in three days.’

‘Wow, again. That’s so exciting. I’m really happy for you, but I’ll miss you both.’ I said. Claire was gone, now Debs would be gone too. And I really didn’t have any other female friends besides Crystal. Oh, and Elizabeth. But I could hardly have lunch with Elizabeth.

‘And I’ll miss you too, dear, of course,’ said Debs. ‘I’m so sorry that I hadn’t called to tell you earlier, but everything has been so hectic. I’ve been trying to get things organised, you know, cancelling my appointments, finding replacements for my bridge games and my volunteer work. And here I’ve hardly even seen you since you got married.’

That sounded funny—I still wasn’t used to hearing people refer to me as being married. I’d barely had time to get used to it, but it was true. I was a married lady now. And just hearing the word made me feel much older than twenty. And I was a mother now, twice over. How long would it be before I started to look like my own mother?

We agreed I’d come over for a quick lunch the next day, and I made a mental note to ask Debs her secret for staying so young looking. She was, after all, my Dad’s
older
sister. And Dad had been older than Mom. But Debs certainly didn’t look any older than Mom. In fact, you might even say she looked quite a bit younger. Perhaps she could give me some hints. I’d never been the least bit concerned with my looks before I’d met Sam, but now it seemed incredibly important that I look after myself, and stay as young looking as I could, for as long as possible.

~ Chapter Sixteen ~

For weeks Mom had been emailing me, putting pressure on me to set the date for our visit. I couldn’t blame her of course, as I knew she was anxious to meet her son-in-law. I’d gotten away with saying things were busy for the holidays, and then that maybe we’d wait until the better weather in spring. But I was running out of excuses for the delay.

So I was quite surprised when I got her email tonight. She said that since it was now nearly April, and she’d had to wait this long, perhaps we should wait until the end of June when Raye would be on summer vacation. That way the four of us could go somewhere interesting together, like Lake Tahoe or Yosemite, or maybe even the Grand Canyon or Mexico.

On the one hand I felt relieved, but on the other I felt bad for Sam. Claire was planning to be in Melbourne for most of July and August, and she’d already started making plans for the four of us to go away on several trips. And that meant that from June through to August Sam would have to pretend to be human; first, in front of my family, and then in front of Claire. I felt terrible about the pressure it would put him under, so I kept putting off booking our flights. It was easier to just say I’d think about it tomorrow than to actually do anything about it. There was time. There was still plenty of time.

However by the third week of April, I still hadn’t booked anything. Instead, I’d been making excuses to myself such as not having access to a computer, what with Debs being away. Mind you, I could actually use the telephone to make an airline booking, but that would have been too easy.

Eventually I decided to go over to see Crystal, and ask to use Michael’s computer. That way I could forward the confirmation to Mom when I got it back from the airline.

‘So, how are you feeling?’ asked Crystal as she poured some coffee beans into the grinder I’d bought them for Christmas.

I looked at her, and saw a slight smile creep onto her stunning face. I started shaking my head.

‘No … no, you can’t be serious?’

‘Quite. Not only can I see it in your eyes, I can hear a very strong heartbeat,’ she said, beaming now.

‘But we’ve been careful. Oh, well, maybe not every time.’

‘Yes, well that’s all it takes. One time,’ she said, laughing as she turned her back to me and then pressed the button on the coffee grinder.

‘What am I, some sort of overgrown rabbit, destined to push out babies every few months?’

She set up the coffee maker then walked back and sat across from me. Within moments the wonderful aroma of freshly brewed coffee came wafting toward me.

‘I wouldn’t put it that way, but you certainly are fertile. And that’s a good thing, isn’t it? I mean, from my perspective it’s more than just a good thing, it’s fabulous. And you’re happy too, aren’t you?’

‘Yeah, I mean, well … I guess I’m not unhappy, but I’m not sure how I feel about it. You know, I’ve been trying to sort out this trip to see my family at the end of June. I suppose it could still work out. I mean, the baby will be due toward the end of May, right?’

‘Yes, that’s probably right. You weren’t pregnant the last time I saw you. It’ll be fine. Don’t worry yourself.’

She got up and opened a box of shortbreads and carefully placed them on a plate. As I watched her, I thought how funny it was that she could make such a simple task look so graceful. But everything she did was graceful. And of course, everything she said always seemed to be right. I drew in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. By the middle of June I’d be back to normal. We could still fly out shortly after that and no-one would be the wiser.

‘I do love these little babies of yours,’ she said, looking over her shoulder at me. ‘And so does Mladen. He doesn’t say much, but he has this renewed spring in his step now that there are young ones to be taught. He’s very pleased with you.’

And so we chatted, and drank our coffee and ate the shortbreads. Life wasn’t so bad. I’d have another baby—a baby who would someday be as strong and powerful as Michael.

When I told Sam later that day, he just laughed.

‘Maybe you shouldn’t worry about going to university. I think we’ve found your calling. You’re going to create enough dhampirs to wipe out the whole vampire population—at least here in Australia. Well, maybe with a few exceptions,’ he said.

‘Yes, certainly with a few exceptions. But you know I’m not too sure I want to be old and fat just yet.’

‘Old and fat? You’re joking, right? You’re beautiful when you’re pregnant. Not that you aren’t always beautiful, but you seem to glow when you’re pregnant. I think that’s the acceptable expression.’

I smiled, but only on the outside. This just wasn’t the direction I’d seen my life taking. But having Sam’s babies should be enough to make any woman happy, shouldn’t it?

That night, Sam held me tight until I fell asleep, and when I woke during the night, he was still there. When I asked why, he just sort of tilted his head, and said that Tom and Michael would be fine without him. It worked—I forgot all my troubles and slept the rest of the night through like I didn’t have a care in the world.

The next morning, Sam sat at the table while I made myself some toast and a cup of tea. We discussed the forthcoming trip to California to see my family, and he said he was fine with all my ideas. Then we chatted about the things we might do with Claire and Tom while she was here. But eventually I could see he was getting a little anxious, so I said I’d go for a run in the gardens if he wanted to go catch up with Tom. He stood up, thanked me, kissed me on the cheek, and was gone before I even finished my cup of tea.

I dressed for a run, and headed across the road to the gardens, but as I reached Elizabeth’s bench all desire to run left me. Instead, I sat on the bench thinking I’d wait a bit to see if she’d turn up. It wasn’t long before I heard her humming and then she was sitting next to me.

‘Another baby—how wonderful. You think it’s wonderful too, don’t you?’ She was obviously struggling with my muddled thoughts and mixed feelings.

‘Yes, of course, it is wonderful. But at the same time, I would like to think there is more to my life than just making babies. At this rate, I’ll have four, or maybe even five, a year.’

‘True. But then, there’s nothing wrong with that, is there? You always look so happy when you’re pregnant.’

‘Oh, yeah, no, I mean … sure. It’s just that I feel a little bit like a production line or something. I’m sure I’d feel different if I actually got to keep the babies rather than simply handing them over to Mladen each time. I do love being with them when they’re little, and it’s so hard to walk away and leave them.’

‘Well, I think your house would be very crowded if you brought them all home with you,’ she laughed, no doubt trying to lighten my mood. ‘But seriously, the way I see it, you and Sam are doing a great service to the world. You’re a unique couple; both such thoughtful, intelligent, not to mention beautiful people. Who better to produce a whole generation of young dhampirs? After your close encounter here with that rather nasty vampire, I’d have thought you’d like nothing better than to be of assistance in wiping out the lot of them. Well, except for Sam that is … and Tom … oh, and Erranase, of course.’

‘True. I suppose I should be grateful that I can help. It’s just not how I saw myself being a useful part of society.’

‘Well, speaking of being useful … I do have an idea,’ she said, smiling.

‘What is it, Elizabeth?’

‘Well, it’s just … a few of the others have asked me to ask you something.’

‘Ask me what? What are you up to?’ I said, screwing up my face trying to look tough. I don’t think it worked.

‘It’s not me. It’s just, some of the others … they saw what you did for Rachel. I mean, I know that didn’t quite turn out the way you expected, but your heart was in the right place. You were trying to help her.’

‘Yeah,
trying
is the right word, all right,’ I said, shaking my head.

‘Yes, trying. And that’s the point. You were trying to help. We all know that. And a few of the others … they’ve been wondering if you might, you know, try to help them.’

‘Help them in what way?’ I asked, doing my best to control my excitement. This was just what I wanted, but it was also a little scary given how bad things had gone with Rachel.

‘Uh, well, it’s different with each one you know. But maybe, if you can help them to resolve their issues, they can move on.’

That familiar chill came back over me, and I could feel the hair on my arms and legs stand up—I was covered in goose-bumps. It had been so magical when Elizabeth had done it—helping those three ghosts to move on.

‘They think I can help them?’ I could hear the hope in my voice.

‘Yes. Well, a few do anyway. You know, no-one blames you for what happened with Rachel.’ She looked down at her hands as she spoke.

‘What did happen to her, anyway? Did you ever find out?’

Elizabeth continued looking at her hands, shaking her head back and forth slowly. When she answered her voice was soft and low.

‘I just know that they were very disappointed with her—and she was very, very sorry that she’d behaved so badly.’

I still wondered who, exactly,
they
were, but I also suspected it was something I wasn’t meant to know. But I knew one thing; that I didn’t want them, whoever they were, disappointed with me.

‘I can try, of course. With your assistance, that is.’

‘Will you? Oh, Lili, you’re going to make some ghosts very happy. And of course, I’ll do anything I can too. So, shall I tell them you’ll help?’ She was so excited now, her little face simply beamed with joy.

‘Yes. But be careful not to promise too much. I mean, I’ll do my best.’

‘No, of course I won’t. But the fact that you’ll try—even that will make them happy. I’ll go now to give them the good news. Will you come back here, tomorrow morning?’

‘Sure, I’ll come tomorrow. Just remember, make it clear that I only said I’ll try.’

~~***~~

I sat on the bench, feeling as nervous as a kid on the first day of school, waiting for Elizabeth to turn up. What had I agreed to? Was I going to make a mess of this too? Thoughts of Rachel ran through my mind. First as a shy looking little girl—then as the girl with the sinister smile—and finally as that wretched creature that screamed at me, threatening my life. Was I setting myself up for more of the same? Were most ghosts nice like Elizabeth and Henry, or were they the exceptions?

Luckily I was spared from agonising over it for too long, as Elizabeth appeared within just a few minutes. She humming as she approached with a young woman I hadn’t seen before.

‘Lili, this is Rhonda. Rhonda, meet Lili.’

We both said brief hellos, and smiled. Then Rhonda sat at the other end of the bench while Elizabeth remained standing.

‘Shall I go now, and leave you two on your own to talk? Or would you rather I stayed?’

I didn’t want Elizabeth to go, but it was obvious Rhonda did when she asked, ‘Would you mind going?’

Elizabeth looked at me and smiled, and said, ‘I won’t be far, Lili. If you need me, just call out my name—I’ll hear you and come back. But really, it will be fine.’

I nodded silently, and Elizabeth disappeared.

Rhonda seemed rather timid, and looked to be feeling as uneasy as I felt.

‘Elizabeth said you would try to help me, that’s right, isn’t it?’ she asked in a voice that trembled slightly.

‘Sure, I mean, I can’t promise anything until I hear what you want me to do, but of course I’ll try,’ I said in the most reassuring voice I could muster.

‘It’s simple really. I just need you to send a card to someone for me.’

I let out the breath that I hadn’t realised I’d been holding. That sounded easy enough. Perhaps I could do this after all.

‘Okay.’

‘Oh, thank you. I’ve been feeling so guilty—I mean, the poor man.’

As I looked at her blankly she too began to relax, and a broad smile lit up her face.

‘Let me explain. You see, I was running late to meet a friend. I’d taken a tram into the city, and as soon as it stopped, I jumped off and pulled my phone out of my bag so I could ring my friend to let her know I was on my way. That’s when it happened. I didn’t see the tram coming from the other direction. I walked right in front of it. It all happened so fast.’

‘Oh, I’m so sorry … I mean, that sounds awful.’

‘No. I mean, yeah, I died, but I didn’t feel a thing. It was just so strange. You see, I was watching, from above, as they tried to help me. And the poor tram driver.’

‘The tram driver?’

‘Yes. I think he was in shock. He didn’t, or wouldn’t, see me. I hung around the whole time and I was trying so hard to get his attention. I wanted to say I was sorry—that it wasn’t his fault and that I didn’t blame him.’

Wow, this girl was killed by a tram, and she wanted to apologise to the driver? Well, I certainly would do my best to help her—if that was all she wanted.

She sighed and continued. ‘I want to send him a card—for you to send it for me—to tell him that I’ve forgiven him. I know his name, and driver number. I’ve been following him for years now but I still can’t get him to see me.’

‘Following him?’

‘Yes. Here in the city and at the graveyard where they buried me.’

I thought about it for a moment then asked, ‘but don’t you think he’ll just assume it’s a hoax? I mean, really, a card from a girl who died?’

‘I’ve thought of that. I know just what to say so that he’ll know it isn’t a hoax. He’ll believe it—deep down inside, where it counts. And I’ll be able to let go.’

‘Okay—if you’re sure. I have ten dollars on me, will that be enough?’

‘More than enough—it just needs to be a simple blank card.’

We walked to the market and Rhonda led me to a stall that sold greeting cards. She’d already seen the card she wanted—blank inside, with a yellow rose on the front. Then I bought a pen and we walked back up to the bench where I sat down to write it out.

She must have been thinking about this for quite some time as she dictated what she wanted me to write without any hesitation. When it was done, I read it back and it sounded perfect.