Sacrifice (Absent Shadows Trilogy Book 2) (23 page)
Read Sacrifice (Absent Shadows Trilogy Book 2) Online
Authors: S.M. Spencer
‘She’s saying the best price for us will be the flight that leaves Tuesday. It goes via Sydney.’
‘Oh—Sydney? Can you ask her if we can go up a day or two before, so I can see a few of the sights?’
I asked the question, and she replied that yes, it was quite possible for a small extra charge. And she could book us a room at a reasonable hotel as well.
‘Mom, what do you think? Should we make it two nights so you can see a bit more?’
‘That sounds good. I mean, who knows if I’ll ever come back here—I might as well make the most of it now.’
It only took a few minutes for everything to be booked, and an email to be sent to Sam’s new computer. And even though I’d known we would be leaving soon, having completed the bookings I now felt completely drained. I looked over at Mom and tried to smile.
‘I’m glad were going via Sydney,’ Mom said, ‘I mean, can you imagine what my colleagues back at the office would say if I’d gone all the way to Australia and hadn’t seen the Opera House? Lili, you’re okay with this aren’t you?’
‘Oh, sure Mom, it’ll be great, you know, being tourists for a couple of days. That’s fine,’ I replied, trying to sound happy even though I felt like my heart was being wrenched out of my body.
She must have sensed what I was feeling as she sighed before speaking again. ‘Now, I certainly have seen all I need to here in Melbourne, so I’m going to just sit, and enjoy the company of this beautiful grand-daughter of mine. But as for you—I want you to go out somewhere with Sam. Enjoy these last couple of days.’
‘Are you sure? I mean, you don’t mind? I could take you to the shopping centre down at Southbank, if you want.’
‘No, really, I don’t need a thing. And I don’t need to see a thing. We’ll do more of that in Sydney—and I can get any last minute shopping done there if I think of anything. Now—you go find Sam, and the two of you just enjoy this time.’
That lifted my spirits a bit so I thanked her, kissed Ceylona’s cheek, and then headed out the door. I’d go to the market and see Sam there, and coax him to play hooky again.
It didn’t take much in the way of coaxing—the moment he spotted me, he punched Tom in the arm and pointed in my direction. Tom nodded at me and flashed that big grin of his, then went back to the customer standing in front of him. Sam was beside me in three quick strides.
We walked hand in hand back up Dudley Street toward King Street, then around the back to where Sam parked his big black car. Within a few minutes we were heading over the Westgate Bridge toward what I liked to call our little beach. When we arrived it was all but deserted.
All I wanted was to be near him, so we just walked. Every now and then I’d bend down and pick up a rock or a smooth bit of glass, and Sam would toss it out over the water. I never saw them hit—I’m sure they went well beyond my vision.
When we got to the end of the beach, we sat on a dry patch of sand with our backs to some rocks, trying to stay out of the wind as best we could. It was cold, but bearable—especially when Sam slid around behind me and put his arm around my shoulders blocking the wind completely. I’m sure I could have endured the North Pole if Sam was with me.
We sat there staring out at the water and watching the clouds float by for what was probably close to an hour. And yet I still couldn’t think of anything meaningful to say. I’d miss him—so much so that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to bear it. But it had been my decision—I could hardly complain to him about it. Instead, I just soaked up his presence, and tried to capture an image of us sitting there—an image that I could pull up from the deepest depths of my memory once I was thousands of miles away.
To be true to you, throughout eternity—that’s what we’d said when we got married. And yet, I was running away, for Ceylona. How was that being true to him? I sat there, trying to think of some other way, but it was useless. I’d been down this path so many times the past few weeks. If there had been another way, surely I’d have thought of it by now.
I guess I sighed. No, I’m sure I did. And as I did, Sam tightened his hold on me and whispered softly into my ear. ‘The time will go quickly, you’ll see. We’ll be back here before you know it, sitting right here. And you’ll tell me you can still remember how sad you’d been on that day when you’d taken Ceylona away. And I’ll laugh, and say yes, it was sad, but how wonderful it is that she’s all grown up—safe and healthy—and we can be together again.’
‘Oh, Sam, I just wish … I wish things could be different.’
‘Do you? Do you wish it enough … I mean, shall I speak to Crystal?’
‘No, no please. I’m sorry I said that—I don’t wish things were different. Things are what they are. And you’re right, the time will pass quickly, and I’ll come back here and we’ll be together again.’
He turned me so I was facing him, and gently brushed the hair away from my lips so that he could kiss me. And I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed as hard as I could, wishing I could somehow bind myself to him so that we would never have to part.
But I knew. I knew when I’d made the decision to leave Mladen’s school, and I knew now. I couldn’t stay and risk Ceylona’s life, no matter how much it hurt to leave.
~ Chapter Twenty-seven ~
It seemed impossible that we were actually going. We’d checked our bags, and gotten our boarding passes without a hitch. No one questioned us. No one told us that we couldn’t leave. No one came running up to say it was all a mistake and that of course we must stay.
As we made our way toward the security checkpoint, each step became harder and harder. I felt like I was in some sort of dream. I had visions from movies running through my head; wretched souls being marched toward the gallows, or worse, to the electric chair. Could those minutes have been any worse for them, than these were for me?
I loved Sam for respecting my feelings in this matter, really I did. But part of me was screaming inside, telling me that he shouldn’t be letting me go—letting us go. Why wasn’t he fighting to hold us together?
I looked over at Mom; she was frowning a little, no doubt nervous about the flight. Then I stole a glance over toward Sam, and was shocked to see how pale he looked. Could the stress be making him drop his illusion once again?
‘Well, at least the flight’s on time. And with this good weather, we should have a smooth take off,’ I said, in an attempt to relieve the strain of the moment for all of us.
‘Yes dear, I’m sure it will be fine,’ said Mom, putting on a brave face as she snuggled Ceylona closer to her chest.
She’d insisted on carrying Ceylona. Maybe it was so that Sam and I could have a proper goodbye hug and kiss, or maybe just as her own little security blanket.
‘Well, I might let you two have a moment to yourselves. Sam, it has been such a pleasure to meet you. I mean that, honestly. And I hope that it is not too long before we see you again, either here or perhaps in California?’
‘The pleasure has been all mine. Obviously, you are always welcome in my home. And as for me visiting California, well, who knows what the future holds, for any of us.’
‘That’s true. Lili, I’ll wait for you just over there,’ she said, pointing to the check point furthest from us.
I turned and faced Sam. There was nothing left to be said. All that was left to do was to hold him, to feel his strong arms around me, and take in the musky smell of him. I closed my eyes as his arms came around me, and I buried my face in his chest, trying to bury the internal screams that were getting louder.
Stop me, Sam. Tell me I can’t leave you
, the voice in my head kept repeating.
I felt as though I might be about to faint, but I forced myself to concentrate—forced the screams to stop, just for a moment. I wanted to be clear headed right now. I wanted to burn this memory into my mind so that I’d never forget it.
His arms loosened as he took a half step back away from me. One hand came up under my chin and lifted my face so I was looking into his eyes, while his other hand caressed my cheek ever so lightly. When he spoke, his voice was soft, barely audible, but I knew what he was saying.
‘I promise to love you, and be true to you, throughout eternity.’
As he said the words that he’d spoken on our wedding day, tears fell silently down my face. I couldn’t stop them now. I wanted desperately to tell him not to let me go if he loved me so much. But this was what I’d wanted. I tried hard to remember that.
‘Oh, Sam, I promise to love you too, and be true to you, throughout eternity,’ I said instead.
He gently brushed my tears aside, then leaned down and kissed me as though it might be for the last time. I closed my eyes and tried to burn the memory into my brain. When I opened my eyes, he stepped back, smiled and brushed my cheek lightly as he simply said, ‘Keep safe, until I see you again.’
Then he turned, and disappeared into the crowd.
I stood there for what seemed like ages, hoping to get one last glimpse of him, but there were too many other people in the way. I felt heavy—as if the gravitational force had suddenly quadrupled. The temptation to crumble, to drop to the ground and just give up, seemed overwhelming. And I wasn’t sure if I would be able to move, let alone walk. So I just stood there, looking down at the ground. Sorrow threatened to swallow me—freezing me from the inside out.
But then I heard my name being called, faintly, as if from some great distance. As I focused on the sound, it got louder.
‘Lili? Lili—are you alright?’
I knew the voice. It was Mom. She was standing right beside me. Her face looked drained.
‘Yeah, I’m alright,’ I lied.
‘Come, we have a few minutes. Let’s sit down over on that bench.’
I did as I was told, and followed her to a bench up against a wall.
‘Now, you sit for a moment, I’ll go find us a drink, shall I? We’ve got plenty of time—the flight hasn’t started boarding yet.’
She disappeared for a few minutes, and when she returned she handed me a cup of black coffee. She sat down beside me. Ceylona had woken, and was making little gurgling sounds.
‘We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz,’ Mom sang softly to Ceylona.
Ceylona giggled and blew little bubbles. She reached out and touched Mom’s lips. Then she turned and looked at me, and my heart warmed.
‘I think she’s coming back to us, Ceylona. I think your Mommy is going to be fine,’ she said, talking to Ceylona, but then turning to look at me as she finished speaking.
‘Thanks Mom,’ I said, nodding toward the coffee cup as I took a sip. The hot liquid must have been just what I’d needed. I could feel its warmth going right through me.
‘This is not the end, Lili. This is the beginning—the beginning of the next phase of your life. And what a life it promises to be. Look at this girl. Have you ever seen a more beautiful child than your own little Ceylona? I doubt it, truly I do.’
I looked at Ceylona, and I saw Sam’s eyes. And the pain in my throat returned, and I could feel the tears building in my eyes again.
‘It’s alright to cry, dear. It will help you get over the pain faster.’
Mom reached over and put her hand on mine. We sat without speaking, while silent tears ran down my cheeks.
And then, without warning, they stopped. I felt a sense of normal returning.
I looked over at Ceylona again, and she was still blowing bubbles and trying to grab Mom’s lips. I had to admit she was adorable. But of course she was; after all, she was Sam’s daughter.
And then I remembered—I remembered how much I loved her, and how important it was for me to give her the best life I could. I remembered why I was leaving. I no longer blamed Sam for not stopping us. I no longer felt confused about what I was doing.
‘Are you ready?’ asked Mom, letting go of my hand. ‘The boarding light just came on. I think we should go.’
‘Yeah, sure—let’s go.’
I stood up, and Mom smiled. Then she took Ceylona out of her carrier and handed her to me. She took the carrier off her neck, and put it over my head. When she’d fastened it, I placed Ceylona in and wrapped my arms around her. Her warmth comforted me and made me feel whole again.
Mom looked at me, and smiled. Then she pulled our boarding passes out of her pocket and double checked the details, and still smiling, said, ‘Come on, let’s get moving. We don’t want to miss the flight.’
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