Sacrifice (Absent Shadows Trilogy Book 2) (17 page)

‘Yes. They get cash jobs at various places and move on every ten years or so, depending on who seems to be taking notice of them. They’re working together at the moment, but that’s not always the case. In actual fact they don’t really have to work; none of us do for that matter. Sam seems to have this limitless source of money. But they like working, so long as it’s outdoors. It makes the time pass quicker and makes them feel useful.’

It was hard to keep a straight face when she mentioned Sam’s money. I knew all about it, but it wasn’t my place to discuss it. ‘And what about you? Do you get jobs sometimes?’

‘Hmm, sometimes, but I’m just as happy reading and learning. And I do volunteer work, like visiting the elderly in hospitals and nursing homes—the ones that don’t have families. I sit and read to them, or sometimes I just listen, and let them talk. It gives me a great deal of pleasure to bring a little bit of joy into their final days. And all I do is switch to a different hospital or nursing home after a time. There are so many that appreciate the help.’

We continued walking in silence, each of us in deep thought I suppose. I know I was. My respect for Crystal, which had always been enormous, grew further as I learned more about her. And I appreciated her calming influence when it came to me worrying about Sam.

And as for Sam, Crystal had been right. Sam answered his phone later that night, and sure enough, it had been on the battery charger when I’d rung earlier. All was well with him—there was no bad news to report.

~~***~~

As the time for me to give birth got closer, Crystal was always within earshot, even if she wasn’t in the same room. She read a lot, and on the final day, I did too. And as I sat flicking through the pages of a magazine, the first of my contractions started. I caught my breath. It wasn’t overly painful, but it always took me by surprise. Crystal was beside me by the time I exhaled.

‘It’s time, Mladen,’ Crystal called out in what was a loud voice for her.

I stood up and Crystal escorted me upstairs to the delivery room. This was becoming a standard routine for me by now, so they didn’t even have to tell me what to do. I changed into a gown, then settled myself down on the delivery bed, and smiled up at Crystal.

‘Thanks for staying with me, Crystal.’

‘Of course—I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,’ she said, brushing the hair back away from my face.

Mladen came toward me, and in his soothing voice reminded me to relax, that I wouldn’t feel a thing. The injection was quick and painless, and then I simply relaxed and let it happen.

~ Chapter Eighteen ~

I woke to find Crystal sitting on the bed beside me. The smile on her face told me that everything had gone well. I must have another healthy new son.

‘How are you feeling, Lili? Are you awake enough to hold your baby?’

‘Yes, I’d love to. I’m fine, really,’ I said, shaking the last bit of sleep out of my head.

Crystal reached into the cot beside the bed, and then stood holding a small parcel wrapped up in a white blanket. She handed me my baby, then stepped back as I pulled the blanket back away to expose the most beautiful little face I’d ever seen. This baby was fair, not dark like Ben and Henry. I looked up at Crystal and she smiled and nodded.

I reached down and stroked the delicate little cheek and my baby’s eyes opened. But the eyes that looked up at me weren’t dark; they were blue like Sam’s. I tried to recall what Ben and Henry’s eyes were like the first few days. Had they been blue as well? I couldn’t recall for sure, but I didn’t think so.

‘He’s so different from Ben and Henry. And his eyes, they’re so blue, as blue as the sapphire in my ring.’

‘Yes, like Ceylon sapphires. Your daughter has sapphire blue eyes.’

‘My daughter?’ I looked up at Crystal, in disbelief. Dhampiras were very rare; surely I hadn’t given birth to one?

‘Yes, your daughter.’

I drew in my breath and stared at the beautiful creature that I held in my arms. My daughter; I’d given birth to a dhampira. She was not going to be like Ben and Henry at all. She would be more like Crystal.

‘Say something, Lili. Breathe,’ said Crystal, with a hint of concern in her voice.

‘My daughter … with Ceylon sapphire eyes … I’m going to call her Ceylona.’

‘That’s a beautiful name. I love it.’

I was overcome with emotion—I’d never felt such joy as I did now, staring down at her perfect face. Tears began to well up in my eyes. She was like a little angel. Her big blue eyes stared back at me, and then she blinked and smiled. She knew I was her mother. She knew my tears were for her.

‘Lili, don’t cry. Don’t be sad. It is a great honour to bear a dhampira. Be happy, please.’

But I was happy. In fact, I was probably happier than at any point in my life up to now. Crystal came over and sat on the edge of the bed beside me, and put her arms around the two of us. That was what pushed me over the edge. Great sobs shook my body, and it was as if all the emotions I’d been carrying around with me for the past year suddenly rose to the surface. Crystal rocked me back and forth until the sobs lessened. I took a few deep breaths and got control of myself. Crystal let go and sat up beside me, and when I looked at her, her face was streaked with tears as well—tears that sparkled, as if filled with fairy dust. Seeing her tears, I started to cry again.

‘Lili, please, it will be alright. Everything will be fine. I know it. I can feel it. Please, don’t be sad.’

‘I’m not sad, Crystal. Really I’m not. She’s just so beautiful.’

I looked back down at Ceylona who was still gazing back at me, her blue eyes wide with wonder and an impish smile on her tiny lips. Her face, too, was covered with tears. But they were my tears, not her own.

And then I saw it. Just below Ceylona’s left eye—a tear that sparkled as if filled with fairy dust. I stopped crying, and just stared at her. Eventually I pulled my gaze away from her and looked at Crystal. She was staring at Ceylona’s face too. I’d never seen Crystal like this—there was no expression on her face at all. She could have been a corpse laid out to rest, totally void of any emotion.

Finally Crystal looked up at me and now there was emotion—lots of it. There was absolute fear on her face, and that was something I’d never seen there before.

‘What have I done?’ she whispered. Then she stood up, and ran from the room.

~~***~~

Neither of us said anything about what had happened. It was like an unspoken pact. We said nothing of it, even to each other.

Every morning Crystal came to my room and picked up Ceylona, anxiously looking for changes. She would weigh her, and measure her as she had done each day with both Ben and Henry. But each day, Ceylona was much the same as she’d been the day before. Mladen came sometimes too, but he said nothing.

After five days, Mladen finally spoke.

‘I’ve never seen anything like this before, Lili. Ceylona should be much larger by now, as you know. She is not growing as I would expect a dhampira to. She seems quite happy and very healthy mind you, but her growth rate … well, it’s more similar to a normal human baby than a dhampir.’

‘I thought the same, Mladen. Could it mean she is simply human then?’ I asked.

‘It can’t be that. You carried her for the six weeks, as you would a dhampir. If she were human it would have been the usual nine months. But like I said, I’ve never seen anything like this in all my days. I have no answers for you, only questions of my own.’ He looked at Crystal as he said this, and I wondered if he’d guessed what had happened.

‘Perhaps I should stay a little longer than two weeks?’

‘Yes. Yes, that sounds like a very good idea, Lili. We are more than happy to have you stay with us as long as you like.’

I didn’t know what to say to Sam. I didn’t want to alert him to anything, or cause him to worry. And I certainly didn’t want him coming here. So, I simply told him that Crystal and I had decided to stay on a little longer than the normal two weeks, but that he shouldn’t worry—everyone was fine and healthy but we were having such a good time we wanted to stay on a bit longer. Of course all that was true, but I was leaving out the most important reason. But I couldn’t tell him. Not yet. Not until we were sure.

Crystal remained cautiously optimistic. She said things to me like ‘perhaps Ceylona simply has a little less of the vampire contagion in her than most’ and ‘perhaps she is growing faster than we realise … she is, after all, a very delicate girl’ and ‘you know she will never be anywhere near the size of her two brothers’.

Mid-way through the second week she suggested that maybe we were comparing Ceylona to the wrong benchmarks. ‘After all, Mladen has never raised a dhampira. When he found me, I was fully grown. Maybe dhampiras simply grow more slowly? I honestly don’t remember how fast I grew.’

I wondered why Crystal and Mladen couldn’t just smell her. After all, vampires can smell humans, and dhampirs can smell vampires, so it seemed logical that dhampirs would be able to smell a human as well, but Crystal said they couldn’t. There was no difference between a human and a dhampir as far as scent.

It seemed the only true way to determine a dhampir was the quick growth of the foetus, and then after the birth, the rapid growth of the child. Their ability to detect vampires, and their incredible strength, were abilities that developed as they grew. So if Ceylona didn’t grow quickly, we wouldn’t know for sure if she was a dhampira until she was old enough to communicate with us.

So we just watched, and weighed, and measured. And her growth remained slow—far too slow. And by the end of the third week she was still somewhat smaller than a normal three week old baby. There’d been no rapid growth at all. Not since Crystal’s tears.

I don’t know what Mladen thought, or how much he knew or suspected. He said nothing. But I think both Crystal and I knew the truth. We just didn’t speak of it. We remained silent—hoping. But even so, it was becoming more and more obvious that Crystal had done for Ceylona what Sam had begged her to do for him: her tears had removed all traces of the vampire contagion from Ceylona’s blood.

~ Chapter Nineteen ~

I’d read the books. The heroine meets the love of her life—her soul mate; the one that understands her; the one that gives her strength and purpose. Their love is magical, like something from a fairy tale. But at the end of the book, the heroine doesn’t sail away with her pirate in search of distant treasures; she doesn’t jump in the passenger seat of the old pick-up truck to spend her twilight years with a man who completes her. No. Those books ended in heartbreak. And each time, I would scream inside; ‘no, you mustn’t go back for the sake of the children, you must go with him’. I wanted to rewrite the ending of those books. I mean, seriously, for the sake of the children? Who were these women?

For the sake of the children—had it really come to that? Was I actually facing that same dilemma? Would I need to sacrifice my happiness, and Sam’s, in order to protect my daughter?

I looked down at Ceylona sleeping peacefully in her cot. Her eyes were closed now, but how many times had she looked at me with her beautiful blue eyes? She was so fragile and angelic—the epitome of innocence.

And looking at her, I knew. I knew why that woman had watched her pirate sail away. And why the other woman had let her photographer drive off. It really was for the sake of the children. I got it. They weren’t martyrs—they were mothers.

I rang the airline, and luckily I was able to change my flight. First problem solved. But the next problem was not so easy.

I sat on the end of the bed, and took out the sheets of paper that I’d found in a desk drawer downstairs. I began to write, but the words didn’t flow as I’d hoped they would. I threw away the first attempt after only a few lines.

After numerous discarded attempts, I had finally written what I needed to say.

My Dearest Sam,

I hate myself for not having the strength to tell you this in person, but I can’t risk letting you talk me out of what I know I must do.

Our daughter, Ceylona, is not a dhampira. She is fragile, innocent, beautiful, and oh so very human. And I’ve never felt so protective of anyone, or anything, before.

You will have guessed by now that I won’t be coming home. And I know that you will understand when I say that it’s because I cannot bring her up in your world. I can’t risk exposing her to the viciousness that is an everyday part of your life.

I’ll keep her safe, and I’ll tell her how wonderful her father is and how much he loves us. I’ll tell her that we just can’t be together for now.

Please never doubt that I love you. I meant it when I said I would love you throughout eternity. You mean the world to me, and I love you more than I ever dreamed I could love anyone. It’s just that I love Ceylona too. And she needs me to be strong for her—to protect her.

It breaks my heart to leave this way, but I can’t see any other solution. I don’t know how I’m going to live without you, but for Ceylona’s sake, I must.

I will always love you, Sam. Please try not to hate me for this. And please don’t come looking for us. I’ll write when I’m settled.

Yours, forever

Lili

I folded the letter and wrote Sam’s name on it. Then I wrote a note to Crystal.

Dear Crystal,

Please don’t hate me for sneaking out like this. It’s just that I can’t bring Ceylona up in your world. She is so precious and fragile. And I can’t let one of Sam’s enemies use her to get to him either. I know that I’m doing the right thing, for both of them, so please don’t try to stop us, and don’t try to find us. I’m so sorry it has to be this way, but I can’t go back to Sam and risk him talking me out of going.

I’ll miss all of you so much. Please take care of Sam for me. Try to convince him I’ve done the right thing, even if you struggle to believe it yourself. And Crystal, please don’t blame yourself. It just happened. Perhaps it was meant to be. You said yourself that everything was going to be fine, and still believe you were right.

Loving you always,

Lili

I placed the note to Crystal on top of my pillow, with the letter for Sam underneath it. It was nearly four in the morning. I’d been writing and re-writing all night.

I rang the taxi company again to confirm they were on the way, and asked them to remind the driver not to honk. I would be there at the gate. The dispatcher assured me the taxi was on its way and due to arrive shortly.

I put the few clothes I’d brought with me into my bag, as well as the nappies and some formula that I’d snuck up into my room earlier in the day.

When I reached down to pick up Ceylona, I prayed she wouldn’t make any noise. She opened her eyes and as if she understood the urgency of the situation she smiled and cooed softly. I wrapped her up in the blankets, grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

When I got downstairs, Crystal and Mladen were both standing there in the foyer. They must have known what I was up to despite my attempts at stealth.

Crystal handed me an envelope, and I could see that it was filled with cash. I frowned as I took it, mouthing a silent thank you.

Mladen handed me a bag that was full of extra formula and nappies. He smiled, stepped forward and gave me a gentle hug, then walked off to let me speak to Crystal alone.

‘I have to do this, Crystal.’

‘I know. Mladen and I discussed it—we understand. And to be honest, if I were in your position I’d probably do the same thing. If you need anything, contact me. I would never betray your trust to anyone—you know that, don’t you?’

I smiled and nodded, desperately trying not to cry. ‘Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?’

‘Yes—in time. He’ll be upset, of course, but he’ll understand.’

I put my bags down and stepped up to hug Crystal. We stood there with Ceylona between us for several moments, and though I tried to be calm my whole body shook with sobs. The pain in my throat was nearly unbearable. When I finally let go and stepped back, I could see my pain mirrored in Crystal’s face.

‘Go, before I change my mind,’ she said, shaking her head softly.

I picked up my bags, stepped forward again to kiss her cheek, and then turned and walked out the door with my beautiful baby daughter in my arms. I could see the taxi waiting at the gate, but there was no need to hurry. No one would be trying to stop me.

When I got settled into the taxi, I turned and looked at the door. Crystal was standing there as still as a statue. Then she lifted her hand and waved a silent goodbye.

‘Airport,’ I said to the driver.

‘Right away, Miss,’ he said, as he pulled away.

I looked back, and watched for as long as I could see her, and then for a bit longer. The tears that ran down my face this time were of sadness; a deep overwhelming sadness that came from knowing that a very important part of my life was over.