Saving Avery (12 page)

I shake my head and say, "No. I'm good."

While Max orders a beer, I turn to face the back of the bar and focus on the person on the stage. It's an older man, and he's singing a Johnny Cash song. His voice cracks, and it sounds like he's moaning…or maybe dying, but the audience doesn't seem to mind. I'm hopeful that they won't mind my singing either. I have never sung in public before and definitely not in front of a crowd. I know I'm not tone deaf, but I don't know if I would classify myself as being good at singing either.

The song ends, and the DJ announces, "We need more people to sign up. Come on up here, sign the book, and I'll call your name when it's your turn." He pauses and then calls Tiffany to the stage. Tiffany looks like she's had twice as much tequila as me. She staggers on the stage, throws up a pair of devil horns with both hands while simultaneously sticking out her tongue. She grabs the microphone, and her friends in the crowd cheer her on as an upbeat country song about getting revenge on an ex blasts through the speakers.

Everyone seems to be singing country, but I don't know any country songs. I listen to the radio on the way to and from the hospital, and it's usually tuned in to a pop or rock station. If I sing something different, will they boo me? What if I get up there and can't sing at all? What if I stand there frozen on stage like a moron?

Anxiety slowly crawls its way into my body and roots itself deep into my bones. I can feel sweat starting to form on my forehead, and I quickly wipe it away. Just as I'm ready to tell Max I can't do this, he says, "I'm going to go sign your name." Before I can object, he disappears into the crowd with a beer in his hand.

My heart is racing. I don't know why I'm so nervous.
It's just a bar
, I try to tell myself.
No one knows you here, and they're probably all drunk
. I can't seem to shake the feeling from my stomach, and soon I'm in a full-blown panic attack. I rush to the women's bathroom and lean over the sink. My head is pounding, and I know it's probably from the tequila. I reach into my purse for my pills, but then I realize I didn't bring them. I didn't think I would need any. "Shit!" I hold a hand on each side of my pounding head and try to relax. "It's okay. You're okay," I tell myself. But I don't feel okay.

I hear a knock on the door. "Avery?" It's Max.

"Yeah. Just a minute," I call, and I can hear the tremor in my voice. My breathing becomes shallow, and I press my hand to my chest, willing my heart to stop its erratic beating.

"Are you okay?" He must have heard the fear in my voice too.

I go to the door and open it. He takes one look at me, and he instantly rushes forward, his hands cupping my face. "What's wrong?"

"Panic…attack," I say between short pants.

"Okay. We're going to get through this, Avery." He grabs my hands and says, "Close your eyes."

I do as he says.

"Breathe nice and slow for me. Nice and slow. That's it. Breathe, Avery. Just breathe."

My chest rises and falls with shaky breaths. I relish in the comfort of my hands in his. I have never been able to calm myself down before without medication; but if anyone could make me feel better, it would be Max. He always seems to know just what I need.

"Right now I want you to pretend that you aren't you and I'm not me. We're just two people having fun for one night. Forget the past, forget the future and just focus on right here, right now. Can you do that for me?"

I nod and continue to breathe in and out slower and slower.

"Concentrate on my voice. Breathe, Avery. It will all be better soon. I promise."

Before I know it, my breathing and heart rate have returned to normal. I open my eyes and gaze into his dark chocolate stare. "Thank you," I whisper.

"You're welcome."

I lean up to kiss him, but stop abruptly when the DJ announces my name. My eyes grow wide.

Max whispers against my lips, "You can do this, Avery. Remember, just focus on the moment. Only here. Only now. With me."

"Only here. Only now. With you."

He crushes his lips to mine for a swift kiss. Then he grabs my hand as we walk out of the bathroom. The crowd parts as we make our way through it. I reluctantly pull my hand from Max's hold as I hop up on the stage. The DJ smiles and says, "Pick a song from the list."

Flipping through the book quickly, I find a song that reminds me of my mother. She used to sing it when I was a little girl. I show the DJ the song, and he shakes his head with an amused expression on his face. "Okay. Make sure you blow them away," he says, handing me the microphone.

I step to the edge of the stage and stare past the blinding random patterns of multi-colored lights. There are at least fifty people sitting in tables surrounding the stage and even more at the bar and on the dance floor to the left of me. I've never sung in front of a crowd before. I'm more of a singing-in-the-shower kind of a girl. The only person who knew about my love for music and singing was my mother. I used to sing to her all the time, especially when she was sick from the chemotherapy.

For some reason, I was comfortable enough to sing in front of Max in the car. There's just something about him that brings out the
old Avery
and makes me want to open up to him and…love him.

Before I can even decipher my feelings for him, the song begins. I close my eyes, focus my thoughts on Max and instantly feel a calmness sweep over me. The opening to the song starts as I bring the microphone to my lips and begin to sing.

*

MAX

At Last
by Etta James filters through the speakers. Leave it to Avery to not pick a country song like ninety-nine percent of everyone who went before her. She told me she likes the classics, whether it's music or movies. I think she developed a lot of her tastes from her mother, and I would bet money that her mother was just as sweet and kind as her oldest daughter.

I make my way through the crowd and stand towards the edge of the seating area. I'm so anxious to hear Avery sing that I can barely stand still. Her eyes are closed as the intro plays, and she swings her hips slowly, delicately in time with the music. She looks like she's in her own world, and it is a beautiful sight. She appears completely calm and relaxed when just moments earlier she was having a panic attack right in front of me. I know me helping her through that was a major deal. I just hope it helps her to trust me and open up to me even more. I want her trust more than anything, because I know she doesn't do so easily.

Avery's lips part over the microphone as she begins to sing, and I can tell within the first few words that her voice is incredible. All the noisy conversations around me begin to die off almost instantaneously, and a hush falls over the entire bar. People turn their attention towards the stage to stare. Everyone is mesmerized by her, and I am totally beguiled.

Avery belts out the Etta James song almost better than the original. My God, she can sing. Like a siren calling me, my feet start moving towards the stage. I stand just a few feet away from her as goose bumps break out over my skin from her sultry voice. She sings just like an angel.

I am completely enraptured as I watch her. And as if sensing me, she opens her eyes and locks them on my gaze. I smile as she sings to me, and I feel like the luckiest bastard in the world. It's in that moment that I realize I've fallen for this girl. Hard. She has me under some kind of spell, and I never want her to break it.

The song finishes, and the bar is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Suddenly, an explosion of whistles and applause roars throughout the crowd, and Avery's eyes grow wide. She looks shocked and amazed by their reaction. She has no idea how talented she really is.

I hold my hand out to her, and she jumps off the stage and into my arms. She looks up at me under the colored lights, and everything in that moment just feels right. I lean down and kiss her, and we are instantly rewarded with catcalls and clapping. Avery tentatively grips my shirt into her fingers, pulling me closer. The kiss grows heated as the world around us melts away.

It's after the third person yells, "Get a room!", when I finally break away.

I chuckle and grin, leaning my forehead against hers. "You were amazing." Taking her hand in mine, I say, "Let's get out of here."

We run out of the bar and don't stop running until we reach the SUV. She's laughing hysterically, and I know I would never get tired of hearing that sound. "I can't believe I just did that!" she exclaims.

"You were amazing. Everyone was completely captivated by you, Avery."

She bites her lower lip. "Even you?"

"You left me breathless." I put my hands on either side of her as she leans her back against the passenger's side door. "You're incredible."

Her blue-gray eyes narrow as if she doesn't believe me.

"You. Are. Incredible," I say, emphasizing each word.

She leans into me, and her lips meet mine in a scorching kiss. Her delicate hands slide up my torso, and I lose myself in her touch. My fingers itch to feel her, but I keep them planted on either side of her on the Escalade.

She tastes like mint and smells divine, and I just can't get enough of her. It feels like my senses are on overload. My tongue plays with the seam of her lips until she parts them, inviting me inside to explore her mouth. I sweep my tongue over hers and swallow the groan that escapes her throat. Forgetting myself, I press against her, pinning her to the car. Suddenly, she begins to tremble under me, and I feel a slight pressure on my chest as she gently pushes me back. I take a step away from her immediately. "I'm sorry," I say quickly. "I got carried away."

A crimson blush is on her cheeks as she sadly says, "It's okay. I should be the one apologizing."

I cup her face in the palms of my hands. "You never have to tell me you're sorry, Avery. For anything. We'll move at your pace…however painfully slow that might be," I joke. She smiles, and my heart melts. "Let's go," I say as I open the door for her. As I'm walking around the SUV, I take a deep breath and exhale. Avery has me so turned on, but I have to take things slow with her. I can't run when all she wants to do is walk. But I know when she's finally ready for me, I'll be there waiting no matter how long it takes for us to get to that point.

On the way back to the house, Avery asks, "So why did you leave Chicago?"

I grimace. It's a sensitive subject for me, but I want to be as forthcoming and open with her as I can. "It's complicated," I say finally.

"Short version?" she suggests.

"My fiancée cheated on me," I say with a huff. Then, as an afterthought, I add, "With my best friend." I glance over at her and see a shocked expression flash over her face. "Yeah. I had to get away from that mess." The revelation of Gretchen telling me she was sleeping with Kenneth still haunts me. My best friend of almost twenty years slept with my fiancée, the girl I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I lost the two most important people in my life within a matter of a few minutes. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. "My parents took my sister and I to Outer Banks for vacations a lot when we were young, and I was always happy there. I needed a place to go where I could be happy, so I thought why the hell not? I called the hospital, had a couple of my colleagues pull a few strings, and, well, here I am."

Then Avery surprises me by reaching over and placing her hand over mine and giving it a light squeeze. "Even though I'm not happy you had to go through all of that, I am happy that it led you here."

I stare at her for a few seconds before turning my attention back to the road. "Me too," I confess. When Gretchen cheated on me, I felt like my world was going to end. But fate has a funny way of working, and it brought me to Avery. I believe wholeheartedly that I'm here for a reason, and that the reason is, without a doubt, Avery.

Pulling the vehicle into my driveway, I park and kill the engine. The radio stays on, and Sam Smith's
Stay With Me
filters through the speakers. How very fitting.

Avery and I sit there, absorbing the lyrics. He's saying the words that I somehow can't muster up the courage to say. I want Avery to stay with me tonight. I don't know what she's thinking, but I'm not ready to let her go yet. I just hope she feels the same way.

*

AVERY

We sit in the car, and the song playing on the radio is almost like fate smacking us right in the face.
Stay With Me
. I want to stay with Max, but I don't want to say what I'm really feeling. And since I pushed him away earlier, he probably doesn't want to say or do anything to ruin the evening. We've both been holding back. Me especially. And unless I take some control, this night is not going to end the way I want it to.

His words from earlier come back to me now.
Only here. Only now. With me.
Swallowing hard, I decide to take the leap. I'll deal with the consequences later. "I don't want to be alone tonight," I whisper, and it's the truth.

Max looks over at me. "You don't have to be," he whispers back.