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Authors: Annie Jocoby

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So, I held my breath. Because Portia was 100% correct about something else as well. And that was that I couldn’t threaten to resign if it was an empty threat. I
had
to back it up by actually resigning. And that would leave all my projects in the lurch. The Chase people would be furious, and they very well might blackball me in New York City. I had many, many projects that were coming down the pipeline this year, most of them high-profile, with very well-known clients. All of whom would be apoplectic that I would just leave the firm, and leave them scrambling. I would look foolish and unprofessional.

I had to do another gut-check. But I knew that this was going to be one of my most nerve-wracking moments of my entire life. It was very well possible that today would be my last day at this firm, and that it could very well end my career. I mean, not totally end it. But it would end it as I knew it, and that, after today, I no longer would be considered to be
the
rising star in the architectural world. I doubted that I could get the same caliber of clients without the backing of this firm.

But it was something that I absolutely felt that I had to do. I would pick up the pieces if the partners chose to allow me to resign, as opposed to ousting Portia. I would still have my position at Columbia, and I hoped that I could still get a foothold in the New York City architectural scene.
But probably not.

The stakes couldn’t be higher.

Yet, I knew that I was doing the right thing. I knew it as sure as I knew anything in my entire life.

Portia and I could no longer work together. She was dangerous and delusional. Worse than that, she would not rest until she destroyed Scotty. She proved that. So, I had no choice. I had to make a stand, and I had to do it quickly.

Chapter 29

Scotty

I laid in bed that morning, and Jack and I played cards and watched low-brow television.
Real Housewives
was on that day, and we sat there and half watched it and half played cards while we talked. It was about 8 in the morning.

“So, Scotty, do you mind telling me what’s going on with you? I mean, really?”

I sighed. “Well, Jack, it’s kinda weird. I mean, Mr. Lucas put me through hell. More than he ever did before. He’s more sadistic than he has ever been. Even crueler. I think that Elle divorcing him sent him even more over the edge. I never remembered him getting such pleasure out of hurting me before. But he did. He loved to see me writhe in pain and cry.” I paused. “But I’m handling it better than I thought that I would. I think because I have already processed his violating me, because it happened so often before. It’s horrible that it happened again…but, at the same time, there’s not a lot that I haven’t raged about regarding him. So, I think that I can psychologically handle it. I think.”

Jack nodded his head. “That makes sense. But there’s something going on. Something is happening in that pretty little head of yours, and I want to make sure that you’re straight with it.”

“I know. And I appreciate that. I just hope that Nick is going to be okay. I think that he’s forcing the partners to choose between him and Portia, and that makes me nervous, to say the very least. I mean, what happens if the partners just say ‘okay, Nick, go ahead and walk. We can’t lose Portia?’ He’s going to be screwed if that happens. Because of me.”

Jack gave me his
bitch please
look, and laid down some cards. “Gin. Now, Scotty, how many times do you have to be told that none of this is your fault? That you didn’t make that woman the cray-cray bitch that she is? You didn’t force her to have the hots for your loverboy. You didn’t make Nick the hot, beautiful stud that he is, which means that women are wetting their panties in his presence constantly. None of that was your doing. So, Portia acting the way that she acts has nothing to do with you. If Nick loses his position, it’s because of that insane clown posse Portia, not you.”

“I know that intellectually. But I’ll still feel responsible.”

Jack sighed. “Okay, then, let’s appeal to logic, shall we? If Nick had never met you, would Portia still be insane?”

“That’s a dumb question. Of course she would.”

“Okay. Now, if Nick had never met you, do you think that Portia would be full of dirty tricks that are designed to hurt Nick?”

I nodded my head.

“Okay, then. Take yourself out of the equation. Nick would have to force a showdown regarding Portia no matter if you’re in the picture or not. So, again, Scotty Marie, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!” And then he smiled and said “My deal. What’s your pleasure?”

“Let’s play some hearts.”

At that, Jack started dealing the cards.

I took a deep breath. “Okay, Jack, you make logical sense. It’s not my fault. But how do I stop feeling guilty?”

“I’d say long-term therapy, but god knows you don’t have the money for that. So, if you don’t listen to Dr. Jack here, then maybe you need to read some books on the subject. I’ll find some for you in the library. Anyhow, I do know one thing, because I’ve read about it myself. Sexual abuse survivors tend to feel inappropriate guilt. Not sure how to deal with it, though.”

“Inappropriate guilt. Sounds like the story of my life.”

“Well, you need to just think things through before you start feeling guilty about something that you had nothing to do with. God gave that woman the cray. You can’t feel bad about anything associated with her at all.”

“Okay,” I said, but I felt unconvinced. “There’s my trick,” I said, laying down some cards.

Jack smiled. “Speaking of tricks,” he said, laying down some more cards. “I think I might have a date this Saturday night. And I don’t think that he’s a closet case, either.”

“Oh, do tell? Is he a Wall Street type?”

“No. I’m done with those. I read somewhere that most of those Wall Street types are psycho, you know?”

I smiled. “Yes, I’m aware of that study. There are a high percentage who fit the criteria for having anti-social personality disorder. Which makes sense if you think about it. But, go on. Who’s this new guy?” I didn’t want to refer to the new guy as a “trick,” even though that was probably what he was going to end up being, knowing Jack. “Do tell.”

“Well, let’s see. He’s a model for Burberry, and he’s a skinny little twink with an attitude. So not like my usual burly boys. And he’s way gay. Way gay. Here…let me get a magazine. I’ll show you!”

At that, Jack got up and ran down the stairs and came right back up. He flipped through the
Esquire
magazine interestedly. “Let’s see, here…” And then he came upon a Burberry ad and showed me the picture of an angelic-looking boy who looked to be around 19 years old. The boy had big blue eyes, full pouty lips and a mop of uncombed brown wavy hair. He had the typical look of a Burberry boy –contemptuous yet sexy. With his perfect pale skin, long eyelashes and red lips, he looked like a porcelain doll come to life.

“So, what do you think?”

“I think he’s the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen in my entire life. How old is he?”

“22, so just five years younger than me. What else do you think?”

“He looks….pouty. Pretty and pouty. At any rate, I can’t wait to meet him!”

“Oh, I want you to meet him. He’s very pretty, but he seems like a nice guy. I met him through one of the actors
on the musical I’m working on. We haven’t gone out yet, but I’m looking forward to Saturday for sure.”

I nodded my head. It was so difficult to get excited for Jack and his men, just because, well, I had been there so many times before. There was the college football player. And the manager of a Walgreens. And then there was
the struggling musician. After that was the waiter/actor/model. That was all before he decided to look for “Wall Street types,” because he was tired of always having to pay his date’s way. Which was getting expensive, and Jack, while he was better off financially then myself, couldn’t afford that. Jack, to his credit, did manage to snag a few of those “Wall Street types,” before deciding that they were either boring or too closeted. And now there was Burberry boy. I hoped that Burberry boy would be something other than a boy who was passing through Jack’s revolving door, but I was not holding my breath on that one.

Jack laid down some more cards. “Now, Scotty, I can read your mind. You think that this one is going to be a temporary trick like all the rest. And, what can I say? You’re probably right. But Babe Ruth once said that every strike brought him
closer to his next home run. It would do well for you to remember that.”

I smiled. I had never heard that quote before, but it was a good one. In life, it was always good to remember that every failure brings one closer to success. Kinda like Thomas Edison doing thousands of experiments before inventing the light bulb. He, too, said that every failed experiment brought him one step closer to success. I often wondered what the world would be like if Edison had given up after the 999
th
try, if the thousandth one was the successful one.

“You’re right,” I said, putting down another trick. “Every ne
w boy brings you closer to The One.”

“Well, we can’t all be as lucky as you. Hitting the home run on your first at-bat with Nick.”

“Yeah. Lucky, that’s me,” I said. “Anyhow, let’s total up our points and move on to the next hand.”

Jack was studying me. “I meant what I said,” he said, as he shuffled the cards. “You are lucky. Nick is your very first boyfriend, and what a phenomenal first boyfriend he is. You didn’t have to go through all the broken hearts that the rest of us have to.”

“No, but I went through years of Mr. Lucas. I think I paid my dues.” I was starting to get a little bit irritated with Jack. Usually he wasn’t this insensitive. Well, he was, but it was all in good fun and he usually picked up on my non-verbal cues a little bit better. “Now deal. Time’s a-wasting.”

Jack shook his head at me. “Tut tut. I think little Scotty is getting just a wee bit cranky. I’m only telling you to appreciate the positives in your life, instead of dwelling on the negatives. And I think that not having to go through crappy relationships to get to your prince charming is one of those positives in your life. That’s all I was getting at.”

I sighed. Jack, as usual, was right. Sometimes I did need to appreciate the things that go right in my life, instead of dwelling on what had gone wrong. Glass half full and all of that. And Nick was definitely something that had gone right. Thus far, anyhow.

“So,” I said. “Where are you guys going to go?”

“I think we’re going to try that new restaurant in Chelsea. At least, that’s what he said. And then, who knows?”

“Well, don’t give away th
e milk for free. See where it gets you to make your boys wait for once.”

“Oh, but Scotty. That’s my calling card. I’m just that good.”

“Well, maybe so, but it’s gotten you exactly nowhere so far. I’m just saying to try something different for once. You know, don’t give a facial on the first date.” And then I felt myself blushing for saying something so crude, even to Jack. “I mean. Well, you know what I mean.”

Jack was trying to hold back a smile. “Scotty Marie. What porn movies have you been watching?”

And then I gave him a look, and he immediately looked embarrassed. After all, the only porns I had seen were the ones that Mr. Lucas had forced me to watch for “educational purposes.” Which was where I had learned about facials in the first place. Personally, I found them disgusting, and hoped that Nick never wanted to give me one.

“Sorry about that,” Jack said, looking chastened. He sighed. “Sometimes I can be such a boob.”

I smiled. “Sometimes?” And then I started cracking up, in spite of myself.

Jack started laughing too. “Touché, little one. Touché.”

Then we played another hand in silence. I was concentrating on my hand, and also concentrating on what was
going on right at that moment. I looked at the clock, and it read 10 AM. I felt my heart racing as I thought about the possibility that Nick was summoning the partners right at that moment….

Chapter 30

Nick

It was time to retreat to my office. I had to get my war plans ready, just like a general. Look at every possible battle front and see what maneuvering I could do to make things go my way. I brought out the roster of partners to see who I could count on to be solid allies, who were not solid allies but could be persuaded, and who were just plain lost causes. As I chewed on a pencil and examined the list, I determined that there were about 10 lost causes.

Ten people who would not cross Portia, no matter what. They were all considered by everybody in the office to be lackeys and acolytes. She kept them in line by funneling to them choice projects and kissing their asses. At least half of the ten salivated over her, and everybody in the office knew it. Portia always warned me that she would never hesitate to use all of her considerable assets to get what she wanted, and she was as good as her word.

I had only been at the firm for a few months, but I had already gotten the lay of the land as far as the firm politics. That was one thing that I tried to do
at every firm – find out the alliances and what tied them together. Sometimes alliances were weak and could be broken. Other times they were strong and there was no use trying to break them. There were always a few mercenaries in every alliance – people who really had no loyalties, but pretty much went where their bread could be buttered the best. They were the ones that would be targeted in any kind of power move like the one that I had planned that afternoon.

So, I went back through the ten, carefully, to make sure that they were each lost causes. I had to make inroads into that little posse, just in case one of the other partners that I thought would be on my side decided to blindside me.

I went through each name and wrote down the person’s strengths and weaknesses, and where they might be vulnerable. The first four that I examined were the only four who voted with her in the last showdown – Mark, Gregory, William and Richard. They were obviously the tightest with her, as they were literally the only ones who stayed loyal in the last fight.

I put those four aside, and concentrated on the other six, who I assumed had more of a loose alliance with her. One of those six was Fred, who was obviously in love with Portia. Well, maybe not in love with her, but he definitely had it bad. I felt a little bit sorry for the man – he was one of those nebbish losers who never got the girl and go thrown into lockers in high school. I actually went to bat for guys like him in high school, because I was very popular and I was able to influence the other kids not to pick on the underdogs. Now, Portia was treating him like the contemptuous queen bee that she was.

No doubt Portia was a mean girl in high school, just like she was at the firm, and she probably would be the one who would pour the bucket of pig’s blood on people like Fred as a “joke.” After all, she was drop-dead gorgeous and had not a hint of morality in that beautiful body. She probably ate men like Fred for dinner.

I tapped my fingers on the desk nervously. Fred. Was there any way to flip him? I figured that the only way would be to be honest with him about Portia’s intentions with myself, and let the chips fall where they may. If he knew that
Portia had all but boiled a bunny because she was so obsessed with me, perhaps Fred might change his tune, because it would show that Portia had zero romantic interest in him.

Maybe. But, then again, the love-struck losers in high school who were pining away for the homecoming queens
usually never did come to reality. But, at the same time, it was worth a shot.

Fred was a definite maybe.

I went down the line with the other loosely aligned partners, and tried to figure out who was the mercenary in the bunch. Specifically, who was only aligned with Portia because of what she could give him, in terms of projects and prestige. I mulled those men in my mind, and hit upon the name of David. David was, in general, one of those smarmy types. The type that missed his calling as a politician. He definitely was someone who would go to the highest bidder, and was one of the ones who would be vulnerable to being flipped to my side. After all, I had the most prestigious project in the firm. Inviting him on to my design team would be a coup for him, really.

So, David and Fred. Those were two who were tight with Portia, and, at first glance, se
emed to be lost causes. But, on second look, they were definitely people who I might have in my pocket by the end of the day.

Not that it really mattered. In looking at the roster of partners, I counted 25 who I thought would be solidly for me. Twenty-five for myself, as opposed to just ten for Portia. It was like looking at an election map, where there are some solid blue and others that were solid red, and a handful of swing states that would lean one way or ano
ther. The politicians tried to flip the swing states, which was why they concentrated all of their efforts in these battlegrounds.

Similarly, I would redouble my efforts to win over the persuadables.

But not before I called Callie to find out how many partners were in the office that day. At that point, I could go to work trying to figure out just who I would need to ensure that I prevailed.

I pressed my button for her. “Callie, it’s Nick. Could you please come into my office?”

“Yes, sir,” she said.

She appeared about two minutes later, a notebook and pen in her hand. She looked apprehensive, and looked even more so when I politely asked her to close the door.

She closed the door and sat down across from me. And then she took a deep breath. “Mr. O’Hara, I know that I was late for work a lot last week. But little Danny has been sick, and I’ve had a really hard time lining up good day care for him because of it. I got somebody to watch him, though, really reliable, so lateness shouldn’t be a problem anymore.”

I stared at her, trying to figure out what her problem was.

And then it dawned on me. I asked her to come into my office and then asked her to shut the door. That only meant one thing in the job world, and that one thing was never good.

So, I smiled. “Relax, Callie. You’re not in trouble. I just needed you to ga
ther some information, and maybe arrange some private meetings for me. Could you do that?”

I saw her let out her breath in relief, and she nervously put her hand to her eyes. “Oh, thank god,” she said. “I’m sorry, Mr. O’Hara, I thought that you wanted to see me because of something else. Yes, of course, I can get some information from you. What do you need to know?”

“I need to know what partners are in house today. Give me a count, and give me a list. And, after you do that, please see me again. I’m going to have you set up some meetings for me today.”

She nodded her head. “I’ll have that for you in a half hour. Is that okay?”

“A half hour would be fine.”

At that point, I figured I should summon my closest ally in the firm, George, and Neil, the oldest member of the firm, who had no love for Portia, mainly because he had no love for drama and bullshit. And, since Portia was nothing but drama and bullshit, Neil couldn’t stand her.

So, I rang George. “George. It’s Nick.”

“Nick. What’s going on? This office is buzzing like I have never seen it.”

The cat’s out the bag.
Of course it was. While I was sitting there trying to methodically plot everything out, Portia was going around poisoning the well. Once again, I questioned my strategy of not blind-siding her, but, then again, if I won dirty like that, then I couldn’t live with myself. You win fair or you really have lost.

“Can you spare some time for me in my office? And find Neil?” I hoped that they didn’t have important client meetings.

“Sure, I can come and meet with you. I’ll round up Neil, too. I don’t think that he has anything pressing today. His meetings are all scheduled for the end of the week.”

“Good. Just come up here ASAP if you could.”

“Sure. It will probably be around a half hour.”

I hung up the phone and then looked at my partner roster again. George could certainly help me out with deciding who was going to be on my side and who likely wasn’t. Neil would also do an excellent job of that. But, until the two men arrived, I decided to kill the time trying to examine every angle myself.

Callie called to inform me that there were 63 partners in house that day. “And you needed me to give you a list, correct?”

“Yes, please. If you could bring that to me, that would be great.”

Callie appeared a few minutes later and handed me the list.

I looked at the roster, thankful that there were at least enough partners there for a quorum. I then calculated in my head how many I would need to oust Portia. Forty-two was 2/3 of 63. So, I would need forty-two partners to vote with me.

Forty-two. Ten of which were pretty solid for her, as all ten of her allies were there that day. The only exception out of the ten were David and Fred, but I didn’t know if I had time to flip them or not. So, just say that ten were gone. Which means that I had to hold onto most of the rest, if I had a chance in this.

While I mulled everything over, looking over the roster and trying to evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of everybody there, George appeared at my door with Neil.

“Come on in,” I told the two men. “Have a seat.”

They sat down across from me and George asked. “Okay, Nick. Now, tell me what is going on? I’ve heard all kinds of rumors flying around here.
There’s talk of you trying to railroad Portia. I hope to god that’s not true.”

Just what I didn’t want to hear.
“George,” I began. “I brought you here because I consider you my best friend and closest ally in this firm. And, Neil, I like your straight talk. I think that both of you will be able to listen to my side of the story without judgment and give me some guidance on how to proceed.”

Neil nodded his head. “I sure will listen to your side of the story. And, if you have a plan to oust Portia, consider me in already. I can’t stand that plastic hussy.”

I smiled and laughed inwardly. “Okay, then, you’re going to be very helpful.” And then I looked at George. “You look a bit more worried than Neil. So, let me tell you exactly what is going on with your thoughts.”

“Okay,” George said. “
I’ll tell you what Portia is out there saying. She’s telling everybody that you want her gone because she turned you down for a romantic relationship, and you can’t stand working for somebody who has bruised your ego in such a way.”

I drew a deep breath.
Calm, Nick, calm. You knew that she would lie to protect herself, so this is par for the course.
“Actually, George, it’s the other way around.” And then I looked at the two men. “Okay. I have to have full disclosure here on all the drama that has been happening behind the scenes. I trust both of you to keep this information close to your vests.”

“Of course,” George said. “That goes without saying.”

Neil nodded, and I knew that what I told him would go into the vault. He was too old to know about “bro codes,” but the man had served in Korea, so he knew about loyalty and valor.

I drew another deep breath. “Okay, here goes. Portia and I had a brief sexual relationship. When I say brief, I mean brief. It happened exactly two times, both time
s in this very office.”

George said nothing, but looked over at the couch and kinda grimaced. Neil looked amused.

“Well, as much as I can’t stand that woman, she’s quite a looker, so I don’t blame you there,” Neil said with a smile. The twinkle in his eye said
atta boy.

I smiled back at Neil and looked over at George. He looked uncomfortable, but he nodded at me to go on.

I took another deep breath.
God, this is embarrassing.
Because I had to admit to these two men that I was in love with Scotty and heavily involved in a relationship with her. I could just imagine what George was going to think when I made that particular revelation.

“Okay. Portia and I had relations, and, well, I didn’t want to actually go out with her. In fact, I really didn’t want to sleep with her, but she was very persistent. And…”

I paused and looked at the men. I was hesitant to tell them about Scotty, not because the firm had a policy against it, but because I wanted to shield her from scrutiny. If I tell these two men, and I told everybody else in the firm, then there would instantly be suspicions and accusations of favoritism. I was going to have to go out of my way to make sure that I treated Scotty exactly like I treated every other intern, and, even if I was careful about that, there still would be whispers about her. I didn’t want her to have to face that.

But, at the same time, she and I had talked about it, and she had urged me to come clean. She wanted the entire story out in the open, so that the partners could make an informed decision regarding Portia.

I still wanted to protect her, though. That was always my first instinct. Protecting her.

But, I knew that I had to tell the whole story. It was going to come out, anyhow, sooner or later. I was in love with that woman, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. So, the firm was going to have to know about us at some point, because it wasn’t like Scotty was a fling that I could sweep under the rug.

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