Authors: Annie Jocoby
Saving Scotty (24 page)
Chapter 44
It was the longest limo ride of my life. My mother lived in Brooklyn, in a run-down tenement that should have been condemned years ago. I dreaded going to see her, because it was always so depressing, knowing how much of a desperate situation she was always in, but that wasn’t the reason why I felt severely depressed.
My depression, which was coming down on me like a hammer, had to do with the fact that Nick was staring out the window instead of talking to me. I was so afraid of what he was thinking as he stared out that window. Was he thinking about how he wanted to leave me? About how he wanted somebody who was more mentally together than myself? Somebody tougher?
As Charlie drove us to the home of my mother, I thought back to when I first thought about getting involved with Nick. How I thought that he wouldn’t want me because I had too much mental baggage. Yet I thought, or I was starting to think, that perhaps we were going to make things work, in spite of the fact that I still had so many emotional issues, because it seemed that Nick had patience with me. With my problems.
Now I wasn’t so sure. Nick appeared to have reached his breaking point when he found out that I had almost killed myself because I didn’t have any faith in him finding me. I could see that I hurt him ve
ry badly with this lack of belief in him. And I wasn’t at all sure that he was going to recover from finding out just how faithless I was.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, we arrived at the tenement. We
got on the sidewalk, me in my wheelchair with Jack pushing me. We crunched on broken beer bottles, which were everywhere. On the grass there was a whiskey bottle that was filled with urine, and there were several condoms tossed aside carelessly. We passed by a man who was halfway passed out on one of the stoops, a bottle of cheap rum cradled in his arms. He mumbled something about a woman named Destiny, and how she needed to let him in. And then we heard a woman’s voice, presumably belonging to Destiny herself, screaming out the screen door “you just rot in hell, you mother fucker.”
The man started sobbing now “let me in. I promise I won’t do it again. Please, Destiny, please let me in.”
We traveled a little bit further, away from that particular drama, towards my mother’s building, which was adjacent to the townhomes where the Destiny soap opera was taking place. I opened the door to the building, and we walked up the narrow stairway that was filled with the stench of human excrement and curry. Nick was carrying me, and Jack was carrying my wheelchair. The odor in the stairway was a most unpalatable blend, and it always made me want to hurl, thereby adding to the smell.
Once we got to the third floor, we passed by an apartment that was blaring loud rock music, and another apartment where two people were screaming at each other and throwing things. The place right next to my mother had the sounds of potential domestic violence coming through the walls, as a man was screaming and a woman was crying.
Sometimes I forgot just how desperate of a situation my mother was in. I guess I tried to forget, lest I go crazy, but being here brought it all back to me.
Nick, for his part, looked remarkably unperturbed by it all. I was surprised – he was a rich guy, and always was affluent. I wouldn’t imagine that he would have ever had occasion to come to a neighborhood like this.
I looked at him questioningly, and he said “my best friend had a serious drug problem in college. I used to come to these kinds of neighborhoods all the time to drag his ass back home.”
“Ryan?” I said. I thought about Ryan’s gorgeous clean-cut face, and just couldn’t picture him being involved in something like that.
“Yeah,” he said. “He’s pretty open about it, so I don’t think that he would mind that I tell you about his problems. They’re far, far behind him now. But, trust, I’ve seen some pretty rough types around him. So, if you think that I’m shocked by all of this, I’m here to tell you that I’m not.”
I loved Nick more than ever at that point. He surprised me so many times.
I only hope that he still feels the same way.
Finally, we arrived at my mother’s home. I knocked, but nobody answered. However, I heard a child crying, so I took a deep breath and tried the door.
The door opened, and we walked into the tiny one-bedroom apartment.
My mother was lying on the couch, watching a soap opera, and half snoozing. Aaron was standing up in his play-pen in the middle of the room. There were empty bags of potato chips and empty cans of pop lying all around the room. A huge coffee can, filled with cigarette butts, was on the table in front of the couch. And, of course, there were the empty bottles of booze. Vodka, rum, tequila, wine – the bottles were everywhere. In the trash can, on the floor, in the potted plant that she was trying to care for, yet was clearly dy
ing - everywhere. They were even in the bathtub, which was in the middle of the tiny kitchen. The tub was filled to the brim with liquor bottles.
I knelt down next to the couch. Nick went to pick up Aaron, and cradled him a little bit. Aaron seemed to take to Nick, as he grabbed his nose
and giggled. “Let me down,” Aaron said. “Let me walk.”
Nick looked around the room, wondering where it was that Aaron was supposed to walk. There wasn’t room to begin with, and the
floor was so filled with trash that Aaron couldn’t possibly get around without tripping.
“Mom,” I said, brushing a tendril of hair out of her eyes. “It’s me, Scotty.”
She opened her eyes, and said “Scotty? Scotty, it that you? Scotty?”
I nodded my head. “Yes, mom, it’s me. I’m here.”
She started to cry. “I thought you were dead,” she said. “Oh, Scotty, I thought you were dead.” And then she threw her arms around me and stroked my hair. “Oh, my Scotty, I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it.”
I tried to put my arms around her, but her girth prevented that. She smelled of cigarettes and body odor, and she was dressed in a tent dress that she favored, for obvious reasons.
To my surprise, I was crying too. “Mom, I’m so sorry for worrying you like that. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to get that letter. I’m so sorry, mom.”
Nick and Jack were standing in the tiny kitchen, talking. Nick still had ahold of Aaron, who was playing with Nick’s hair and asking for a bar of chocolate.
Jack nodded his head, and looked at me and my mother.
Nick motioned to me to come and talk to them.
I looked at my mom. “Stay here, mom. Stay right here. I’ll be right back.”
She looked at me desperately, like she was afraid that I was going to somehow vanish into the ether. But she didn’t protest.
I wheeled my way over to Nick and looked up at him. “You wanted to talk to me?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I guess that I didn’t imagine that it would be quite like this. At any rate, we can’t just leave your brother and mother in this state. We’re going to have to take Aaron and your mother to my place, while I line up a rehab center to get her dried out once and for all. I should have done this a long time ago, and I would have if I would have known that her situation was this bad.”
I was confused. Nick had been here before. Hadn’t he?
“You were here, weren’t you? When you came into the bar that one time?”
Nick sighed. “Actually, no. I sent the nanny over, and Charlie gave me back the keys. So, I never actually saw your mom and brother that one time. Charisse, the nanny, did call me to let me know that everything was under control, though.”
“Oh,” I said. “That makes sense.”
“Well, anyhow, now that I’m seeing for myself how your mother lives, I feel that it’s my duty as a human being to not let it go on another day. So, they’re coming with us, and I’m going to see how long of a wait it will be to get her into a rehab center in Beverly Hills. I’ve known, uh, a few people who have gone there and this place is the best there is in dealing with addiction and things like that.”
I felt tears coming to my eyes again. “Oh, thank you, but I can’t ask-“
“Stop,” Nick said. “If you feel somehow that you’re putting me out again on your behalf, just stop. I can’t turn a blind eye to this child. It has nothing to do with you.”
I nodded my head. I was hoping that Nick was going to tell me that he was going to keep me, after all, and that was why he was doing what he was doing. At any rate, it was a
phenomenal thing to do, so I was grateful for that. I secretly wished that he was doing it for me, though. As selfish as that sounded.
But then, something wonderful happened.
Nick put his arm around me and said “but, yeah, I’m doing it for you, too. You should have your mother back. That would make you happy. And I love you. I would never leave you. You’re a part of me.”
The relief that I felt upon hearing those words were beyond measure. I threw my arms around him, and buried my head in his chest.
“Oh, Scotty,” he said. “I’m not going to lie. You wounded me with your lack of faith. With your lack of trust. But, with your upbringing and life, it’s to be expected that you would have a hard time trusting anybody. But I hope that you’ve learned your lesson. And never doubt me again. That’s all I ask.”
I shook my head furiously on his chest. “I won’t, Nick. I’ll never doubt you again. I promise.”
“Good,” he said. “Now, let’s get your mother and brother loaded up in the limo and let’s get out of here. We can probably reschedule your appointment with the police, so that will be the next stop. Jack here said that he would watch Aaron and keep your mother company, so that’s all set.”
My heart soared. It was hard to believe that there was so much devastation in my life, because, as I looked at Nick’s beautiful blue
eyes, which were so filled with love and kindness, all the ugliness faded away. Even the ugliness that we were currently surrounded by disappeared. All that I could see, and know, was that this man was with me, and he always would be.
He always would be.
He always would be.
Chapter 45
So, Nick, Jack, my mother and brother, and myself made our way back to Nick’s loft. My mother was pretty incoherent, but was more than thrilled to be riding in a limo.
“Scotty, I can’t believe this,” she said. “I’ve never even a seen a car like this. Not even on television.
What did you say that this was called again?”
“A limousine, mom,” I said.
“A limousine?” she said. “I never heard of such a thing.”
I felt embarrassed. I honestly thought that everybody in the world knew about limousines, even if they hadn’t necessarily ridden in one before. Not my mother. Guess it had something to do with her poverty, and something to do with the fact that she had a tenth-grade education, and barely had even that.
“And there’s a driver,” she said. “Does your boyfriend hire that driver, or did he come with the limousine?”
“He hired him,” I said.
“And what was his name, again?”
“Nick.”
Nick was sitting in the front seat, and he turned around and smiled at the two of us, after hearing our conversation.
“Nick,” she said, nodding her head. “Sure is a handsome fella, that Nick.”
“That he is,” I said.
And then she looked more at Jack. “And how you doin’, there, John?”
“Jack,” Jack said politely. “And I’m good.”
I had to stop from rolling my eyes. My mother had met Jack at least on 20 occasions throughout the years, yet she couldn’t remember his name.
Hell, I was surprised that she remembered
my
name.
“So, where we goin’, Scotty?” my mother asked me.
“To Nick’s loft. And then we’re going to put you into a treatment facility.”
She shook her head. “I don’t need no treatment facility. I’ve been quitting booze on my own.”
And how’s that been working out for you?
“Mom,” I said. “We’ve been through this 100 million times. Now, Nick actually has the money to get you into a place that is for real. Where they won’t throw you out after 48 hours. Someplace where you can stay as long as you need to, and really get dry. For good.”
She shook her head, and then started to cry. “Oh, Scotty, that would be so great. I really need help. The state, they want to take away Aaron, and he’s all I got in the world. ‘Cept you. And you don’t want nothin’ to do with me. Not that I blame you. I’m tryin’, Scotty. Really, I am.”
“I know, mom,” I said, as I reached for her to hug her a little bit. “I know you are. But you need help. You can’t do it on your own. I’ll find out a little bit more about this place and then I can tell you what it’s going to be like. But it’s in Beverly Hills, so I think that it’s safe to say that it’s going to be nicer than you can ever imagine.”
“Beverly Hills,” she said. “Like with the Clampetts?”
“Yes,” I said, trying to suppress a smile. “Just like with the Clampetts.” What an apt thing for her to say, I thought, because she’ll fit in when she gets to Beverly Hills about as well as the Clampetts did.
“That does seem like a nice place,” she said. “A real nice place. Too nice for me.”
“Be that as it may,” I said. “You’re going. I’ll even try to come and visit you.”
More tears came to her eyes. “Oh, you’re such a good girl. You’ve always been such a good girl. Why do you want to mess around with an old lady like me?”
She did seem old, which was sad to me, considering she was only 38. She looked more than 50, and I was quite sure that she felt more than 50 as well.
“You’re my mother,” I said. “And you always will be.”
Finally, we got to Nick’s building. Jack helped my mother out, and Nick gently put Aaron on my lap as he pushed me into the front door of his lobby.
My mom’s eyes got huge when she saw the opulence of the lobby. The marble floors and crystal chandeliers, the uniformed doorman with the white gloves, the enormous flowers in gorgeous vases, and the granite fountain in the middle of the room astounded her. “Oh, Scotty, I don’t believe this place. I didn’t think that these types of places existed.”
Aaron was in awe as well. His little eyes got enormous, and he raised his hands up and down excitedly. “Are we going to live here?” he asked. I was kinda amazed at how well he was speaking, as I was afraid that he would be developmentally delayed because of my mother’s alcoholism. That was one thing that she was very lucky about – Aaron and myself turned out seemingly normal, despite her heavy drinking all through all of her pregnancies. I wasn’t sure about her other kids, because I never got the chance to know them. She put all of them up for adoption when they were first born.
Nick was beaming. “Yes, little tyke, you are. For now.” And he looked at me. I knew that we were going to have to have a serious talk about what was next. I would imagine that the goal would be to get my mother sober and then help her get on her feet so that she would take care of Aaron herself. I wasn’t sure, beyond that, what else Nick had in mind.
We all got on the elevator, and went into Nick’s loft.
And then she got really astounded. “Oh, my god, Scotty. Look at this place.” She looked around the room. “Look at those paintings. And that furniture. And that piano. And that….” she went on and on and on about everything in Nick’s apartment. She walked all around it, pointing at every little thing.
And then she said something that absolutely floored me. “And that Kandinsky. Ooh, boy, that’s worth a mint. Where’d you get that, Nate?”
“It’s Nick,” he said, looking at me weirdly. “And how’d you know that’s a Kandinsky?”
She looked dreamy. “I was always fascinated with art when I was a little girl. I ran away from home all the time, and I would always end up at the Guggenheim.” And then she started to name off all the other artists who were hanging on Nick’s walls. “Bacon’s one of my favorites,” she said. “And so is Klimt. Oh, Nick, you have such wonderful taste.”
Jack walked up to me and whispered “what, is your mother some kind of Rainman? A savant or something? How does she know those paintings, but she never heard of a limousine?”
I shrugged my shoulders. Sometimes people can surprise you. Even I was surprised by her apparent knowledge of modern art, but, then again, she was always a dreamer. Somehow, her spending afternoons at the Guggenheim when she would run away from home made sense to me. Even if it didn’t necessarily make sense that she would actually have a memory for all the names of the artists.
“Thank you, Ms. James,” Nick said politely. He was looking amused at my mother, and seemed surprised as Jack and I about her depth of knowledge about his paintings.
“Loretta,” she said. “Ms. James is my momma.” And then started to laugh, her missing teeth prominently being displayed in her mouth.
“Well, mom,” I said to her. “Uh, I hope you don’t mind staying here with Jack for a little bit. There’s something that Nick and I need to take care of.”
“No, I don’t mind,” she said. “But you’re coming back, aren’t ya? I can’t stay too long with just John, here.” And then she said in a low voice. “I think he’s kind of a fruit loop. Not sure if I can trust him with Aaron.”
I felt my face burn red hot with embarrassment. Now Nick knows that my mom’s a homophobe, one of
those
homophobes who assume that being gay went hand in hand with pedophilia.
Jack, for his part, looked amused. It was obvious that he heard every word she said, and I thought that he was going to burst out laughing. “Oh, yes, Loretta. You know us queer boys. We love ‘em young. The younger the better.”
“Jack,” I said. “Don’t joke like that. She’s going to take you seriously.”
Jack just rolled his eyes. “Loretta, now come on. You’ve known me for years. You know better than to think something like that.”
Loretta just nodded her head. “I guess so,” she said. “I mean, I do know you, John, and you don’t seem to be like those other fruit loops.” I had no idea what “fruit loops” she was referring to, as I thought that Jack was the only gay guy that she knew.
And then she turned to us and said
“Anyhow, where you guys goin’?”
I took a deep breath. “We’re going to the police station, mom. I’ll explain later, but there’s something down there that I really need to do.”
She looked concerned. “What, Scotty? You ain’t in trouble, are ya?”
“No, mom, I’m not in trouble. I’m not in trouble, but there’s somebody who soon will be. Somebody who should have been in trouble a long, long, long time ago. Let’s just say that somebody is about to get what’s coming to him, and it’s not going to be pretty. In the least.”
And then she blinked her eyes, and surprised me again. “It’s that damned Mr. Lucas, ain’t it? I never trusted that man. He’s a shifty little pervert. Never wanted him to take you in the first place. But those welfare workers, they thought they knew best.” And she shook her head. “Well, you go get him, Scotty. You go get him, and you castrate him, just like a bull. With no drugs.”
I looked at Nick, and he looked at me and I thought that he was going to burst out laughing. My mother – one just never knew what would be coming out of her mouth next.
“Yes, mother, it’s Mr. Lucas. And, you were absolutely right about him, too. He is a shifty little pervert. And he hurt me, mom. He hurt me bad. But he isn’t going to get away with it. I’m going to bring him down, and Nick here is going to help me.”
She smiled. “Nick. Sure is a handsome fella.
I’ll see you, Scotty. And, remember – just like a bull. That pervert doesn’t deserve to see the light of day anymore. I’m with ya, Scotty. I know that it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m with ya.”
“
Thank you, mom, I’ll see you when I get back.”
And, at that, Nick wheeled me out of the door and we waited for the elevator.
He held my hand tightly. He was going to be with me all the way, I knew it.
And one other thing I knew.
Mr. Lucas was going down.
If it was the last thing I did in this world, I was going to make sure of it.
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Also, if you want to learn more about Nick, and about Ryan, then be sure and check out my earlier books, the
Illusions
series. These three books go in-depth into Ryan and Iris, the love of his life, and explain more fully the relationship between Ryan and Nick. The links for these series are below.
Beautiful Illusions
Deeper Illusions
End of Illusions